Shi'ites getting Syrias, wrapping babies in foil, and a zombie treaty on the horizon: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/17 - 4/23
Posted by Drew at 2011-04-26 2:00:18 PM (13 comments) | Permalink
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2624 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Apr 2011 at 2:19 PM (3 years ago) | | share: more»
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No update from Drew this week, so enjoy the headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-04-17 to Sat 2011-04-23:
Philadelphia Orchestra out of C notes
The "uhhhs" and "umms" in our speech may be crucial to helping children learn to speak, according to the National Institute Of Why Is Bob Newhart So Freaking Awesome
Kenyan wins Boston Marathon in 2 hours, 3 minutes, 2 seconds, which is faster than anyone has driven 26 miles in Boston
Shi'ites getting Syrias
Donald Trump declares: "I'm the last person Obama wants to run against". In other news, VP Joe Biden has assumed the duties of President until Obama's laughing fit ends
Gary Busey's infant son hospitalized --- his teeth must be coming in
Chemicals being spread over populated areas to prevent spread of wildfires in Texas. That's retardant
Famous clown's organ may not be real. Don't let them big shoes fool you
"Five-week-old baby severely burned in cooking accident." This may be a modest proposal, but next time try wrapping the baby in foil to prevent accidents
Large tornado, now arriving Gate 11... Gate 12... Gate 13
Syrian forces open fire on funeral procession. At least one dead
Major League Baseball signs deal to broadcast games in Vietnam and China, thereby slowing down Asian economic surge by boring their citizens to death
NFL expected to release schedule on Tuesday. Highlights are expected to be a Week 1 matchup of Nobody vs. Nobody, a Week 2 matchup of Nobody vs. Nobody, and a Week 3 matchup of the Bills vs. Nobody, but the Bills will still find a way to lose
Grete Waitz, nine-time NYC Marathon winner and Olympic silver medalist dies at age 57. Subby goes back to eating cookie dough, satisfied with life choices
Scientists attempt to determine if the arctic is coaled
Honeycombs help cure cancer, yeah yeah yeah
Carbon nanotubes could be used as synthetic brains, giving humanity at least a chance for a treaty with the zombies
Bruce Willis to sell New York apartment at a loss. Yippie-ki-yay, market failure
P-Diddy to make guest appearance on "Hawaii 5-0" which will soon change its name to "Hawaii" and then "5-0" before eventually being cancelled
'Bewitched' creator Sol Saks dies at 100. Actually he died at 82, but was replaced by another guy and nobody said a word
Trump is richer than Romney, meaning he's a better businessman. Also has had more wives than Romney, making him the better Mormon
Is Obama morphing into Bush? Worst. Power Ranger. Evar
Department of Homeland Security accidentally loses 10 Libyan terrorists they brought to the United States. I just hope Doc Brown read that letter already
Blink 182 postpones European tour until they can find a way to travel back in time to 1994
Morrissey cries about his memoirs, everything else
Annie Lennox not strong enough to tour, walk on broken glass
Volkswagen unveils sportier Beetle with more aerodynamic pterathorax
Seagate seeks to expand, by spending some cache to raid Samsung's disk drive business
Dollar falls to 15-month low against euro, yen, and any other currency that doesn't have the word "Zimbabwe" on it
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