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Drew is currently unavailable for comment from the Bering Sea, but here are some of Fark's favorite headlines from 1/2 - 1/8 
Posted by Drew at 2011-01-11 12:57:57 PM (25 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog

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2914 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2011 at 1:08 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



From Unfreakable:

No posting from Drew this week; his last update was from the Fark.com Satellite Office on the F/V Time Bandit and he was in full caps-lock mode in Dutch Harbor less than 12 hours ago. So I'm just gonna presume that Drew's last terrifying brush with sobriety was a while ago.

While we wait for that story to emerge, here are a few of Fark's favorite headlines from last week. Carrion.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-01-02 to Sat 2011-01-08:

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Car hits pig, knocking out a headlight. Pig is said to be re..reco..recov..recover... He's fine    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Cambodian wedding held for two snakes. Ceremony almost cancelled when one wanted his diamondback    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Saudi Arabian officials have reportedly arrested a vulture suspected of being a Mossad spy. Nothing to see here, carrion    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Nude burglar claims he was tripping on acid, thought he was God. Police are Leary    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Long Island food bank to hand out Snuggies to the homeless in exchange for dignity    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  England and Scotland brace themselves for four inches, as their womenfolk have been doing for years    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Valet's life saved when bullet strikes the cell phone in his shirt pocket. Valet downplayed the situation, as the impact was still less painful than dealing with AT&T    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Man keeps dead dad in closet for five years. Family considers pressing suit    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Friends say Omaha school gunman was fun, outgoing, aimed high    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  British terror alert status upgraded to "What's all this, then?"    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  A Maine woman arrested for stabbing her husband in the back did it because, "I can't stand him and he drives me nuts." Bangor Daily? I bet he wishes he didn't    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Sports:

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Three Chicago Bears go to a local grocery store to bag groceries for lucky fans. Jay Cutler didn't go since he already gets sacked enough    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Seattle stuns New Orleans, are now one win away from .500    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Rex Ryan has a new favorite right foot    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Geek:

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  New study says elderly adults with tooth loss more likely to get dementia, Alzheimer's, jobs at WalMart    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  New dual telescope view of Andromeda galaxy shows birth and death of stars. Not sure if Sirius    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Hidden literary references discovered in the Mona Lisa. Nobody says ANYTHING about this to Dan Brown, do you understand?    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Showbiz:

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Lindsay Lohan: "Everyone is out to get me." I think we can rule casting directors out of this statement, Lindsay    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Bono and The Edge to start attending all performances of Spider-Man musical, because it's not officially a disaster area until Bono goes there    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  History Channel decides not to air 'The Kennedys' miniseries, saying "It's not a fit for the History brand. But stay tunned for another episode of Ice Road Truckers"    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Politics:

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  White House press secretary is stepping down. Will now earn money not answering questions in the private sector    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Roseanne Barr and Ted Nugent spar on Anderson Cooper's show. This is like watching a couple of mentally handicapped kids fight each other in the ball pit at Chuck-E-Cheese    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Ted Haggard to star in new reality special, which will probably be something like "Breaking Bad" meets "Boy Meets Boy"    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Music:

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Toni Braxton might unwear her dress for Playboy    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Illness forced to respect Aretha Franklin    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  If you've ever thought "man, I'd give my right arm to drum in a Def Leppard tribute band", opportunity is knocking (with one hand)    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Business:

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Next generation of Intel chips will refuse to copy movies, open pod bay doors    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  Lawsuit against Netflix and Walmart accuses the two companies of conspiring to run Blockbuster out of business. Pfft. As if Blockbuster can't do that by themselves    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from fark.com too old to be available]  FHM creates sexy "stealth" ad that can only be seen from a low angle. So instead of asking you why you're watching smut at work, your boss will ask you why you're crouching behind your desk with a boner    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]
· · ·
(view entire blog)


25 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2011-01-11 01:09:39 PM  
Has he been able to see Russia from there yet?
 
2011-01-11 01:17:51 PM  
I posted this with a funnier headline.
 
2011-01-11 01:18:30 PM  
I heard he was in the Ukraine banging fat unibrow women.
 
2011-01-11 01:22:26 PM  
He's a cowboy, on a steel horse he rides.
 
2011-01-11 01:22:45 PM  
i56.tinypic.com

Cold... and hard.
 
2011-01-11 01:27:48 PM  
Drew went to Alaska in January?

Can't say much for his brains but I admire his nerve.

Stay warm dude, and drink lotsa anti-freeze.
 
2011-01-11 01:30:02 PM  
Oh god, I have gotten so farking drunk in Dutch Harbor. I feel for Drew, cuz if he gets shiatfaced then gets on a fishing boat into the Bering at this time of year, suicide will have seemed like a better option.
 
2011-01-11 01:32:24 PM  
Is Drew Halibut fishing with Sarah?
 
2011-01-11 01:32:53 PM  
Caps lock mode, biatching about media coverage again?
 
2011-01-11 01:45:28 PM  
The frat boy boat? What a shock....
 
2011-01-11 01:53:48 PM  
GaryPDX: Is Drew Halibut fishing with Sarah?

No, he is broing it up with Tucker Max
 
2011-01-11 01:58:43 PM  
Wait, what? Who let him on one of those boats? And a shiatty one at that.
 
2011-01-11 02:17:41 PM  
If he's driving the ship, then I hope Drew gets his Bering Straits.
 
2011-01-11 02:18:43 PM  
Shut up and fish.
 
2011-01-11 02:28:04 PM  
I'm sure these guys are actively seeking choppy waters just for the lulz:

img209.imageshack.us
 
2011-01-11 03:37:18 PM  
Sooo... maybe we'll see drew as a rider on the Time Bandit on the next season of Deadliest Catch? Or did that show jump the shark by now?
 
2011-01-11 04:07:06 PM  
Why are the headlines now in the URL for comments?
 
2011-01-11 04:11:48 PM  
If anyone is looking for Drew, he'll be at the closest Fox News affiliate, getting his next set of monthly instructions.
 
2011-01-11 04:43:28 PM  
unmotivationalposters.com
 
2011-01-11 04:44:21 PM  
Cpl.D: Fox News affiliate, getting his next set of monthly instructions.

oh wait, you're serious, let me laugh even harder.
 
2011-01-11 05:03:12 PM  
Pressing suit wins the week imho. Well done that subby.
 
2011-01-11 06:32:52 PM  
Teknowaffle: GaryPDX: Is Drew Halibut fishing with Sarah?

No, he is broing it up with Tucker Max


I'd have to throw tucker or myself overboard...
 
2011-01-11 08:15:13 PM  
How the hell did the Dead Eagles from sports section not make this?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-01-11 09:03:18 PM  
Cutoff is Saturday. Dead Eagles went green Sunday.
 
2011-01-12 01:36:05 PM  
TrancePI: How the hell did the Dead Eagles from sports section not make this?

Also, it's a context headline. It's already been flagged to be in a separate contest. The headline itself can't stand on its own; you need to see the link to get the joke. The link is what makes the joke funny.
 
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