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White elephant parties, Juan-on-Juan marriages and Cinco Denied-O: Headlines of the Week for 8/8 - 8/14 
Posted by Drew at 2010-08-17 1:02:19 PM (15 comments) | Permalink
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3259 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Aug 2010 at 2:02 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



From Unfreakable:

Since Drew had a long blog posting earlier today, this is just headlines.

For those of you who missed it last week, we had an early nominations thread for Headline of the Year for the months of January-June and I got a lot of good links from that, so thanks to everybody who participated.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-08-08 to Sat 2010-08-14:

   Study finds Australians among world's worst abusers of alcohol, which Fosters an attitude of tolerance    img.fark.net

   Rare white elephant given party. Gifts received: Thigh Master, Salad Shooter, and Scrabble with missing letter tiles    img.fark.net

   Man impaled on fence. Worst... post... EVER    img.fark.net

   Mexican Supreme Court rules all states must recognize Juan on Juan marriages    img.fark.net

   Scientists discover secret of what makes something funny, will next try to explain it to modmins    img.fark.net

   "Same sex bridal magazine fills void." Well, maybe if you rolled it up    img.fark.net

   85-year-old man stung by 500 bees, cancellation of "Matlock"    img.fark.net

   Four-month-old Dylan is the first baby born in Hawaii from frozen eggs, although there's no proof of that unless he produces a long-form birth certificate    img.fark.net

   British man builds barbecue capable of dealing with 1,000 sausages at once. Your mom sues for trademark infringement    img.fark.net

   New monkey species found in Amazon. [ Ħ Add to Cart]    img.fark.net

   Eight people shot, four get wings at Buffalo restaurant    img.fark.net


Sports:

   Last place Pirates fired Kerrigan. WHY? WHY? WHY?    img.fark.net

   Patriots to win this season's Super Bowl according to this just released Madden 2011 simulation. Looks like the cheat codes have been released as well    img.fark.net

   Milton Bradley to have knee surgery. Don't touch the sides...... BUZZZZZZZZ    img.fark.net


Geek:

   Meet the first robot to act like a human. No, it's not Hayden Christensen    img.fark.net

   Study shows that Spinal Tap is almost 11/11 in predicting Alzheimer's disease in patients    img.fark.net

   A Cincinnati-area father took bad parenting to a new depth by selling his son's console and videogames for drug money, leaving son inconsolable    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

   Tila Tequila decides to bolster her career by doing lesbian porn and you're still reading this aren't you? Yeah, I didn't think you'd be that interested either, I was just hoping for a greenlight    img.fark.net

   Paris Hilton involved in hair extension lawsuit. I WANT TO BE WEAVED    img.fark.net

   Snooki: "I would like to trademark my name." US Patent Office: "Funny you should ask that. Do you know what my favorite Mexican holiday is?" Snooki: "What's that?" US Patent Office: "CINCO DENIED-O"    img.fark.net


Politics:

   Obama eliminates his Transparency Czar. We think. At least, that's what sources are telling us    img.fark.net

   Obama approves bill to provide 1,500 new border patrol agents. They will supposedly hand out bottles of water and maps to incoming unregistered democrats    img.fark.net

   Sarah Palin is the most popular Republican...amongst Republicans who say they've smoked pot. Suddenly, this starts making sense    img.fark.net


Music:

   The Sex Pistols to launch their own fragrance, tentatively called Eau De Vicious, which is said to contain hints of malt liquor, pepper spray and restraining order    img.fark.net

   Funk legend who played with James Brown, Parliament-Funkadelic and the The Rubber Band, Phelps "Catfish" Collins passes away, further reducing our nation's already critically endangered supply of music legends with cool nicknames    img.fark.net

   Stone Temple Pilots' first show in Colorado started with Scott Weiland coughing and wheezing his way through their first song. He wasn't used to being so high    img.fark.net


Business:

   "99ers", people who have been unemployed for more than 99 weeks plan rally on Wall St. to demand extension of uemployment benefits. Rally organizers expect large turnout if there's nothing good on Oprah    img.fark.net

   Expedia, Delta, and Bank of America team up, form bad customer service Voltron    img.fark.net

   *Spins wheel* Oracle is suing *throws dart* Google over *rolls dice* Java    img.fark.net
· · ·
(view entire blog)


15 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2010-08-17 02:10:36 PM
Some good ones this week.

"CINCO DENIED-O" made me lol hard ...
 
2010-08-17 02:14:37 PM
Man impaled on fence. Worst... post... EVER
 
2010-08-17 02:27:04 PM
The same-sex bridal magazine headline was excellent. Big ups to the subby.
 
2010-08-17 03:02:47 PM
Yay! I got my first headline of the week.
 
2010-08-17 03:03:34 PM
the snooki one was a repost, wasn't it?
 
2010-08-17 03:04:52 PM
A good week. The bridal magazine and Spinal tap ones made me laugh the most.
 
2010-08-17 03:25:14 PM
...ok i don't get the Amazon headline. Someone? Please? I'm lost here
 
2010-08-17 03:37:14 PM
DesertEagle: ...ok i don't get the Amazon headline. Someone? Please? I'm lost here

i76.photobucket.com
 
2010-08-17 03:45:47 PM
weee... i has a headline of the week!

/Juan on Juan
 
2010-08-17 04:46:31 PM
"CINCO DENIED-O" ?

Really?

That has to be one of the most contrived and irrelevent-to-the-story headlines of the bunch.
 
2010-08-17 04:58:19 PM
Me too! First headline of the week.
/Not inconsolable.
//dances
 
2010-08-17 09:04:55 PM
demonfaerie: Yay! I got my first headline of the week.

sushovande: Me too! First headline of the week.

Congrats you two! What were they?

/had the STP one
 
2010-08-17 09:11:43 PM
Roger_the_Shrubber: "CINCO DENIED-O" ?

Really?

That has to be one of the most contrived and irrelevent-to-the-story headlines of the bunch.


And yet, for some inexplicable reason, I laughed harder at that headline than I have at any in a long time.
 
2010-08-17 10:49:31 PM
The English Major: demonfaerie: Yay! I got my first headline of the week.

sushovande: Me too! First headline of the week.

Congrats you two! What were they?

/had the STP one


Thanks! White elephant was mine.
 
2010-08-17 11:26:34 PM
demonfaerie: Thanks! White elephant was mine.

That one had me rolling. HOTY material right there.
 
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