Drew talks about earthquake mania, Selection Sunday, and the James Cameron Reaction Watch. Also, some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/28 - 3/6
Posted by Drew at 2010-03-08 1:47:15 PM (38 comments) | Permalink
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Now that Kathryn Bigelow was the first woman to win an Academy Award for best director, you can expect more followup stories on 1) other women firsts, and 2) other places where women still have yet to break that barrier. Also some followup stories on the state of mind of James Cameron, who will be forced to console himself by wiping away his tears with $100 bills while lying on a bed made of $100 bills in a house constructed of bricks made out of stacks and stacks of crisp $100 bills. There was also history made with the first African-American to win an Oscar for screenwriting, but the odds-on money favorite is still the James Cameron reaction.
With major earthquakes in Haiti, Chile, Japan, and Turkey, you can bet that there will continue to be a flood of in-depth articles about devastating potential fault lines around the United States, especially if they're the same fault type as Chile. Although most of them will be stories of regional interest (Ohio will discuss the basement faults common to their region, for instance), you'll also see the same old "San Andreas fault is bound to blow any year now" stories from the last twenty years, updated with new quotes from the current Caltech spokesperson, which always boils down to, "we don't know when, but it's overdue." Random non-causal correlation, though: the biggest California earthquakes of the last hundred years have all come when Republicans have sat in the governor's chair. No idea why.
There may be a bit more discussion of Missing Hot White Chick SyndromeTM after the media noticed that of two women abducted around the same time, one got all the press while the other one was quickly forgotten. Sorry about that, less-attractive-abductee-girl.
March 14 is Selection Sunday for the NCAA men's basketball tournament, so you can expect three articles to circulate: 1) who got jobbed and missed the tournament, 2) the annual discussion of doubling the tournament size to 128 teams instead of 64 (the word is that the tournament size expanding to 96 teams is all but a done deal), and the inevitable 3) randomly generated figure on lost productivity due to the NCAA tournament. It's been hovering between about $1 billion and $4 billion the last few years. Any early guesses?
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-02-28 to Sat 2010-03-06:
Marijuana use can up the risk of psychosis, according to some scientists THAT I WANT TO KILL
Woman goes into labor during her shotgun wedding. Delivers a beatiful little bb boy
Detached penis goes missing, now most likely on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven down on Second Avenue near St Mark's Place
Former Labour Party leader Michael Foot dies. He was a living leg end
The new Whole Foods nutrition rating system ignores the entirety of human evolution in favor of political considerations. Unlike Twinkies, which are awesome and will eventually grow wild in couch-shaped bushes
US and Canada moving to transgenic pork. But you'll know it's fake, since you can tell by the pig cells
Actual Headline "New Salmonella Recall Raises Questions About Food Safety", so don't order the salmonella
Tour bus crashes south of Phoenix. The dead are expected to rise within the day
Woman decapitated by a freak lawnmower accident as she heads off to work
Psychotherapist charged with acting like there are a couple well-placed spaces in his title
Tractor trailer containing 30,000 pounds of yogurt rolls over on I-91 in Northampton. Culture comes to Western Massachusetts
Lebron James is going to play with new jersey next season. No, not that New Jersey
Brett Favre tells Jay Leno he's undecided about returning next year, because if there's anyone else who knows about manipulating the narrative about returning to an old job it's Jay Leno
Indiana Governor raises $6,000 for local youth football by auctioning Saints flag flown in his office..with the stipulation that the money be spent teaching kids how to cover onside kicks
Nun finds rare flowers that only blossom every three thousand years, growing under her washing machine. Flowers proceed to bloom. Must be divine reward for taking care of her dirty habits
Geneticists trace origins of small dogs to the Middle East, proving it's always been a breeding ground for terrierists
GOES-P weather satellite scheduled to launch at 6:17 EDT, unless there's a leak in the rocket, which would piss me off
Lady Gaga says that women get a "bad deal" in sex. And he'd know
Steven Speilberg, George Lucas, and Harrison Ford agreed on "a germ of an idea" for the 5th Indiana Jones movie. Which is an improvement of the virus that was the 4th Indiana Jones
And the nerds will look up and shout "Please don't try to make a Watchmen sequel," and Hollywood will whisper, "No"
Doctor says Obama has high cholesterol, finally proving to the Birthers that he is American
New York Governor in trouble again after he got free tickets to listen to Game One of the World Series
GOP: We don't like your plan. Obama: Let's include some of your ideas. GOP: We don't like our plan
Bon Jovi will visit homeless shelters on their upcoming tour. Never before has a band gone to such great lengths to reach its fanbase
Hole releases their new single, "Skinny Little Biatch," because "Fortyish Crack Whore" doesn't lend itself to a good melody
Katy Perry says she'd like to be the Alanis Morissette of our time
Proving it can keep pace with the Japanese auto industry, GM recalls 1.3 million cars
Anheuser-Busch InBev reports piss-pour sales for fourth quarter
Hey Zhou, where you goin' with that yuan in your hand?
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