Slutty genes, King Tut's failed pyramid scheme and the street value of illegal poultry: Fark's favorite headlines of the week from 2/14 - 2/20
Posted by Drew at 2010-02-22 2:38:58 PM (30 comments) | Permalink
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No writeup from Drew this week, so enjoy some good headlines you may have missed.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-02-14 to Sat 2010-02-20:
Former Olympians Peggy Fleming, Vonetta Flowers injured in Joe Biden motorcade crash. 5.7, 5.8, 5.9, 5.9, 6.0, 5.7
UAH professor who killed three colleagues last week, shot brother in 1986, was also suspect in Harvard bomb plot in 1993. Will soon be linked to Kennedy assassination
Car crashes at auction, seriously injuring 4, I have 4, do I hear 5, I have 5, make that 6 seriously injured
Over 600 chickens were seized from a poultry trafficker's home. Police estimate their total street value at $1,000,000
Small plane slams into Austin building near FBI offices. FBI investigates possible ties between Al Qaeda and gravity
Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline
Genetics replaces Long Island Ice Tea as the primary reason for why your girlfriend is a slut
LHC to be switched on again last week
American military gets its thumb drives back. U-S-B, U-S-B, U-S-B
The new O'Hare runway is planned to go right over a cemetery, potentially displacing dozens of voters
Monastery in Austria is offering men the chance to be a monk for a weekend. Have some time for contemplation, search for inner peace, find God, bone up on onanism
NBC's crappy Olympics coverage has reached a point where sports fans are beginning to personally hate the network with the blazing agony of rectal herpes
Jose Reyes says he's ready to return to his role as New York's fifth-best shortstop, behind Jeter, Jeter's backup, A-Rod, and Phil Rizzuto's coffin
Phil Jackson whines about Cavaliers picking up Jamison for a bag of beans. Pau Gasol unavailable for comment
"Common Thread Links Multiple Human Cognitive Disorders." It's on the Politics tab if you want to read it
King Tut found to have suffered from cleft palate, club foot, and died from complications from broken leg exacerbated by malaria, failed pyramid scheme
Top 25 most dangerous software practices for 2010\'; UPDATE links SET light = 'green' WHERE id = 5033195 --
Production on "24" halted after Kiefer Sutherland suffers a ruptured cyst. TELL ME WHERE THE BALM IS
Tila Tequila may have miscarried. Well, miscarriages are almost always sad, but in this case I think the kid made the right choice
James Cameron says he will not return to the Terminator franchise, will instead focus on Avatar-related projects, including the development of the Na'vi's evil neighbors, the Ga'rg'am'el's
James Traficant could be dipping his toe into the pool of congressional candidates this fall. No word yet if he will run as an independent or Wig
February 20th, 1992: Ross Perot says he'll run for President on Larry King. Do you hear me? Did you hear what I'm saying to you? What you have here is a headline. You read it from left to right. It's not rocket science, people
Alexander Haig no longer in charge here
"My Sharona" singer now visiting "My Embalma", then "My Funeral Parla"
Gordon Lightfoot joins Abe Vigoda in the Great Beyond
Manic Street Preachers attack Radiohead during a small show in Glasgow. Radiohead would respond, but they're too busy making music and playing shows that people actually listen to
U.S. worse than Greece, says economists letting out a collective Ψ
Abercrombie's profit falls 31%, as people discover you don't have to spend two hundred dollars to get holes in your jeans
Too late to help out Mitt Romney, Air Canada proposes nut-free buffer zones on flights
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