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A quick note about the upcoming Headline of the Year contest, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/8 - 11/14
Posted by Drew at 2009-11-16 2:07:41 PM (55 comments) | Permalink
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7730 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2009 at 2:10 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



From Unfreakable:

Normally Drew likes to kick off every week with some media commentary and our usual Fark Betting Line on the stories we expect to see coming up. But now that we're halfway through November, we're getting to work on Fark's annual Headline of the Year contest. We're going to gather up all of the winners from our Headline of the Week collections and supplement them with some of your nominations.

Some of your favorite headlines might not have made it to the top of the Headline of the Week voting for the particular week it came in, so if you have a favorite, we're going to have a separate Headline of the Year nomination thread with voting enabled later this afternoon and another one again this Friday, just to make sure we haven't missed any good ones in addition to our own favorites.

For those of you who are newer and might have missed our Headline of the Year contests in previous years, here were the final voting threads for:

Headline of the Year: 2006

Headline of the Year: 2007

Headline of the Year: 2008

And it's not too late to get one of your own headlines in the running for November or December, although we'll probably be wrapping up the contest earlier in December this year rather than wait until the end the month when most people are away and traveling. If you have any questions about it or want to help, shoot me an email.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-11-08 to Sat 2009-11-14:

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  Two decades after the Berlin Wall came down, many in the once divided city no longer even remember where it stood. Hey Germany, that's why we use slogans here in the States. 9-11-2000, Never Forget    
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  Landslide in India kills 42 and demolishes hundreds of homes. To top it all off, they're going to need a new deli    
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  Possible hostage situation in Jefferson City, MO government building. Information is sparse, but witnesses say police are moving on up    
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  British MPs preparing to beat off invading horde of Olympic hookers, which seems backward to submitter    
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  Unknown substance found on NJ Transit train. Probably cleanser    
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  Using only a cell phone and a pelican, man turns his $2 million Bugatti into a submarine    
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  Ohio couple married 61 years and died one day apart. There is no escape. Did you hear me? NO ESCAPE    
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  Sing us a song of your piano scam, sing us a song tonight. Well we're all in the mood for some forgery, and you took our money all right    
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  U.S. reports largest mumps outbreak in three years. Think of it like a swine flu outbreak, but serious    
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  Cops who found magic mushroom grow house give up on counting them all, say it would be easier if the mushrooms would hold still and stop singing    
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  Last signed autograph of John F. Kennedy sells for a sum that could blow your mind    
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Sports:

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  Victor Zambrano's mother kidnapped in Venezuela. Jim Duquette on the phone now trying to trade her for Scott Kazmir's mother    
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  Red Sox sign Tim Wakefield to two more years, subject to league approval of his using a walker to get to the pitcher's mound    
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  ♪ Turn Thabeet around ♪ Let's check for concussion ♪  


Geek:

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  Picky consumers first wanted organic vegetables, now they want the ones with the smallest "environmental footprint." In related news, some kid named Mobotu in Zimbabwe has offered to eat your carrot peelings if that's okay    
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  Michigan mathematician ends up in winner's circle, but finds it pointless    
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  West African giraffes make surprising comeback; now face Lions in division play-offs    
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Showbiz:

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  Blockbuster's getting back in the game with a kiosk that sells DRM'd movies on an SD card that requires a special box to....hey wait, where are you going?    
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  Wynonna Judd says Taylor Swift should not have won any CMAs. Judd then returned to eating her fries, only to be scolded by her shift manager for stealing food    
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  Brad Pitt takes wine-making classes, will inevitably be expelled for yelling "WHAT'S IN THE WINE BOX? WHAT'S IN THE WINE BOX? WHAT'S IN THE FARKING WINE BOX?"    
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Politics:

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  Arbitrator rejects case against Glenn Beck parody site, agreeing with the defense's argument that only a staggering moron would believe it. Beck points to his audience, nodding furiously  

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  Obama rejects all current Afghan options, says they don't tie the room together    
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  "Some" senior citizens are cancelling their AARP memberships in an Obamacare protest. The rest will have their membership cancelled... soon enough    
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Music:

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  John Mayer defends Britney Spears, saying that lip-synching is okay. Concertgoers would have complained about having seen him lip-synching, but they tend to drift off to sleep after about twenty minutes    
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  Rihanna's "Umbrella" voted the best song of the decade by the Institute of People Who Don't Really Listen to a Lot of Music    
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  Pope to release Christmas album, meaning Lady Gaga now has the second weirdest wardrobe in music    
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Business:

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  The only underground mushroom farm in the U.S. to lay off 260 workers. shiatake happens    
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  Electronic Arts laying off 1,500 people. Imagine all the sequels we'll be missing out on now    
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  Comcast requires their customer service agents to undergo an eleven-week training course where they learn useful skills like empathy, understanding, and resolution. And yet none of this shows on a single call    
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· · ·

55 Comments     (+0 »)
 


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2009-11-16 06:38:09 PM  
Man who beat his girlfriend with a flashlight charged with assault. Flashlight charged with battery

I still remember rereading that headline several times and laughing harder each time I hit the punchline. I don't know who submitted it, but kudos. That "Tender Heart" one was a gem too...
 
2009-11-16 08:29:03 PM  
The bear, girls-in-the-basement, staked chick & flashlight headlines all happened in 2007. What a golden year.
 
2009-11-17 12:06:00 AM  

Vogon Poet: The bear, girls-in-the-basement, staked chick & flashlight headlines all happened in 2007. What a golden year.


I thought 2006 was actually funnier.

2008 was a little worse, though.

2009... well, you might be able to see a pattern developing.
 
2009-11-17 09:33:48 AM  
Still my favorite headline ever:

Girl, 14, impaled while having fun with friends. More fun than you can stake a chick at


http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=2677137
 
2009-11-17 10:31:42 AM  
Mother of the Year Candidate:

Mother of the year candidate mistook her 11 year-old daughter's boyfriend, a 23 year-old convicted felon, for a classmate; is SHOCKED when they go missing

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4181174
 
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