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It's the "still not quite Thanksgiving but there's not much to talk about" edition of the Fark Betting Line, as well as some of our favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/1 - 11/7 
Posted by Drew at 2009-11-09 1:55:08 PM (38 comments) | Permalink
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4501 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Nov 2009 at 1:55 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



With Thanksgiving still two and a half weeks away, it's too early to run the usual "don't forget to cook your turkey thoroughly" and "OMG the airports are really full" stories, so expect a bit more about the cost of holiday airfare, how some families are skipping flying this year because of the costs, and some marginal early Christmas stuff, like the must-have toys. Also, it's never too early to start the "Top 10 (whatever) of 2009" retrospectives, so expect those to start trickling in this week.

Otherwise it'll be a lot more coverage of the senate dry-humping the hell out of the health care bill and some more swine flu stories. The swine flu stories will really ramp up as soon as someone famous gets hospitalized for it. It seems callous to guess who that will be, but the odds-on favorite would be somebody who used to be in the news a lot but isn't anymore and doesn't have anything on their plate at the moment, job-wise. Which means it could be damn near anybody.

With a new week, we have a fresh batch for the Fark Betting Line on probable news stories coming your way soon. As always, feel free to add any of your own in the thread if you have any that were missed:

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-11-01 to Sat 2009-11-06:

img1.fark.net  Cyclists have a lot riding on L.A. driver's trial, claim spokes people    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  20-foot geyser gushes in the San Fernando Valley, or as some there call it, talent    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Wife found guilty of attacking her husband with a wooden pestle. He was mortarlly wounded    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Kissing boosts a women's immune system. Her dirty little skank immune system    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Gay groups vow to reach around Maine defeat and plow forward with new strategies    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Driver for brown fails to deliver the green, is now blue after getting the pink    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Obama pledges to improve treatment of indian tribes. Native Americans have heard this kind of blanket statement before    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  First member of Texas polygamist sect tried and convicted of statutory rape. Sentencing has been delayed as the court tries to come up with a worse punishment than having nine wives    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Teen set on fire gets an apology, though a few blasts from a fire extinguisher would have been appreciated as well    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Three doctors and a nurse arrested in Mexico City for selling babies after telling mothers their babies had died. So much for kid pro quo    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Cop who took down Ft. Hood shooter ran INTO the line of fire, huge brass balls clanking the whole way    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  It took almost 150 years for a Southerner named Lee to beat the Yankees; now it's happened twice in one week    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Jimmy Rollins still insists the Phillies are the better team. By the way Jimmy, you can take the A, C, E,1, 2, or 3 subway trains from NYC's Penn Station to the World Series parade in lower Manhattan tomorrow    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Joe Girardi rescues a woman from a car wreck while on his way home from the Series clincher; needs 38 more postseason saves to tie Rivera    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  Another inane and stupid study found that negative thinking improves memory. What a load of crap. IIRC, Mecklenbräuker and Hager published the same garbage in the Journal of Psychological Research, Volume 46, Number 4, December 1st 1984  

img1.fark.net  Claude Lévi-Strauss is dead. We'll miss his genes    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Windows 7 is significantly more resistant to viruses and WOULD YOU LIKE BIGGER PENIS??? YOUR BULGING MANTOOL WILL CAUSE HER SCREAM    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  Edward Norton "phenomenal" after finishing the New York City marathon in three hours and 48 minutes. In related news, Brad Pitt finished the marathon in the same amount of time    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Kirstie Alley is set to star in reality series about her efforts to lose weight. Tentative title: The Kobayashi Shamu    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Founder of San Diego Comic-Con, Sheldon Dorf, dies at 76. Rumored to return next summer in issue #77    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  Republican Chris Christie wins New Jersey. Wow, what a crappy prize    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Abbas threatens to quit Palestinian elections. Mamma Mia, here we go again    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Cliff Clavin slams health care bill as "socialism." Adds, "Did you know, the word socialism derives from the French word "socialisme," which was first attributed to the philosopher Pierre Leroux..."    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  Ashlee Simpson gives up music. Our long national nightmare is over    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Bruce Springsteen pens autobiography. Chapter 1: "One time, I uh, my dad and I, uh, we didn't, uh, get along so much, and uh, we uh, well, I used to go down to the reservoir, and uh, my old man, uh...HUH ONE TWO THREE FAWWW"  

img1.fark.net  As a Christmas present for their fans, Pet Shop Boys are releasing an EP featuring covers of Madness and Coldplay. What have we done to deserve this?    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  Tool company Stanley buys Black & Decker, plans to hammer out more profit, but will ultimately just end up screwing customers    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Buffett, who already owns an electric company, will buy Burlington Northern Railroad. Next up: Water Works    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Kellogg pulls immunity claims from Rice Krispies. Oh, snap    img.fark.net
· · ·
(view entire blog)


38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2009-11-09 01:59:38 PM
Most of these headlines are just BLAH. Nothing really stands out.
 
2009-11-09 02:02:29 PM
, it's never too early to start the "Top 10 (whatever) of 2009" retrospectives, so expect those to start trickling in this week.

but are you going to green those? i read once that you have antipathy toward "top ten list" links
 
2009-11-09 02:02:58 PM
Subby fails. Thanksgiving was weeks ago.
 
2009-11-09 02:04:07 PM
Hmmm, my bacon DNA one didn't make the list? It got a lot of votes. Meh.
 
2009-11-09 02:05:01 PM
The swine flu stories will really ramp up as soon as someone famous gets hospitalized for it. It seems callous to guess who that will be, but the odds-on favorite would be somebody who used to be in the news a lot but isn't anymore and doesn't have anything on their plate at the moment, job-wise.

http://www.mediaite.com/online/celebrity-swine-flu-watch-marilyn-manson-and-dr- s anjay-gupta-get-sick/
 
2009-11-09 02:07:29 PM
sorhed: Subby fails. Thanksgiving was weeks ago.

Take off, hoser.
 
2009-11-09 02:09:52 PM
I like the Springsteen one.
 
2009-11-09 02:11:09 PM
Don't forget "The Top 10/25/50/100 of the Decade". (Even though there's still an entire year left of it.)
 
2009-11-09 02:11:30 PM
DeadZone: The swine flu stories will really ramp up as soon as someone famous gets hospitalized for it. It seems callous to guess who that will be, but the odds-on favorite would be somebody who used to be in the news a lot but isn't anymore and doesn't have anything on their plate at the moment, job-wise.

20 bucks on one of the Gosselin Kids.
 
2009-11-09 02:16:10 PM
Seacop: DeadZone: The swine flu stories will really ramp up as soon as someone famous gets hospitalized for it. It seems callous to guess who that will be, but the odds-on favorite would be somebody who used to be in the news a lot but isn't anymore and doesn't have anything on their plate at the moment, job-wise.

20 bucks on one of the Gosselin Kids.


30 on the octomom's...with harrowing coverage from inside the hospital....
 
2009-11-09 02:22:06 PM
...I'll admit, I was surprised to see my Pet Shop Boys headline on there. That was nice.
 
2009-11-09 02:25:03 PM
I like the Kellogg one
 
2009-11-09 02:26:38 PM
Nic Cage gets Swine Flu.
 
2009-11-09 02:29:50 PM
Zafayal: Nic Cage gets Swine Flu.

But his agent didn't file the paperwork correctly so the IRS took it away.
 
2009-11-09 02:45:56 PM
mainstreet62: Most of these headlines are just BLAH. Nothing really stands out.

Yeah, and I've been on a redlight hot streak for a few weeks now. Wonder why.
 
2009-11-09 02:47:23 PM
If I were a Yankees fan I'd get the Jimmy Rollins shirt.
 
2009-11-09 02:48:41 PM
I less than 3 the Chris Christie/New Jersey one.
 
2009-11-09 02:50:17 PM
Contrabulous Flabtraption: mainstreet62: Most of these headlines are just BLAH. Nothing really stands out.

Yeah, and I've been on a redlight hot streak for a few weeks now. Wonder why.


I disagree; I thought the Kirstie Alley, Bruce Springsteen, Ashlee Simpson, Stanley Tools, Kissing, Polygamist, and the Chris Christie headlines were quite funny.
 
2009-11-09 02:51:33 PM
Seacop: DeadZone: The swine flu stories will really ramp up as soon as someone famous gets hospitalized for it. It seems callous to guess who that will be, but the odds-on favorite would be somebody who used to be in the news a lot but isn't anymore and doesn't have anything on their plate at the moment, job-wise.

20 bucks on one of the Gosselin Kids.


What a callous, heartless, evil thing to bet on!

I've got 50 on Kate catching swine flu, then deliberately infecting her kids with it.
 
2009-11-09 02:58:39 PM
I'll lay 45 to 1 on "Someone sees the face of Jesus/Virgin Mary/ Other Important Figure in a flahstone path."
 
2009-11-09 02:59:29 PM
sorhed: Subby fails. Thanksgiving was weeks ago.

Was about (aboot) to say the same thing!
 
2009-11-09 03:02:44 PM
With the pending release of Modern Warfare 2 there should be an influx of OMG VIDEO GAMES ARE VIOLENT! stories
 
2009-11-09 03:25:08 PM
What does it say about my life that I was exicted to have an HOTW? (The Buffett one).

/it was the obvious joke, but still...
 
2009-11-09 03:29:11 PM
I'll lay down fifty on at least one deep-fried turkey casualty.
 
2009-11-09 03:37:59 PM
The Springsteen one made me laugh.
 
2009-11-09 03:38:50 PM
3:1 NFL football player is arrested for DWI/weed/battery/scrip club incident

5:6 said player is a Raider
 
2009-11-09 03:41:47 PM
Win: Dirty little skank (because that thread was FULL OF WIN)
Place: Joe Girardi
Show: Blast from the fire extinguisher
 
2009-11-09 03:49:23 PM
logistic: I'll lay down fifty on at least one deep-fried turkey casualty.

Well of course, poultry can't survive oil at those temperatures.
 
2009-11-09 04:07:35 PM
1lastcall: Win: Dirty little skank (because that thread was FULL OF WIN)


THIS

BTW, you'r gag reflex getting better? Did DtheD help you to overcome that by inundating you with so many pics that you had sensory overload?
 
2009-11-09 04:17:01 PM
*Waves
Hi KK!
No, DtheD did NOT help my gag reflex. I was getting better, until I clicked his NSFW one with the 'cigarette'.
Undid all the good you people spent days on.
 
2009-11-09 04:18:44 PM
Springsteen rules them all.

I guarantee at least 1 "Be sure not to deep fry your turkey inside or BOOM" articles this week
 
2009-11-09 04:20:40 PM
1lastcall: *Waves
Hi KK!
No, DtheD did NOT help my gag reflex. I was getting better, until I clicked his NSFW one with the 'cigarette'.
Undid all the good you people spent days on.


*WAVES*
the "cigarette" was farking hilarious! Of course, I knew exactly what your reaction to that would be :-)

/you know how to get in touch with me ;-)
 
2009-11-09 05:04:36 PM
Cynically Acclaimed: Don't forget "The Top 10/25/50/100 of the Decade". (Even though there's still an entire year left of it.)

You're one of THOSE people, aren't you?
 
2009-11-09 05:06:47 PM
No love for this drunken abomination?

Drunkmitter: Dumb: Moonshine + Rider + Horse= ? A OK|Splat & Trample Dumber: Moonshine + Gullible Reporter + Locals= ?Pre-Conquest Mayan Horses|Stickin' It To The Spanish. Bonus Fark: Town is = ?Wet|Dry (new window)
 
2009-11-09 05:19:35 PM
Drew is farking psychic.

http://2010.newsweek.com/essay/one-dazing-decade.html
 
2009-11-09 08:01:52 PM
Oh, are we posting crappy lists, now?

The 100 Best Films of the Decade (new window) (UK) (see how many are made in the USA)
 
2009-11-09 08:43:50 PM
"In a never been seen before event, retailers nationwide start Holiday promotions before Thanksgiving."

/my guess
 
2009-11-09 11:44:32 PM
krelborne: Hmmm, my bacon DNA one didn't make the list? It got a lot of votes. Meh.

Seriously. I thought that was the best headline in at least a couple of weeks. You were robbed. Either that or I should pony up the cash for TF so I can vote...
 
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