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(Ananova)   Sheriff Sets Up Stakeout To Nab Midnight Pooper   ( divider line
    More: Asinine  
•       •       •

5448 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2002 at 10:39 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

61 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-01-15 10:42:31 AM  
When I was in college, we had one of these known as the 'midnight crapper'. Not a pleasant thing, especially when you get in the elevator after a night of drunken partying only to find crap in the middle of your hallway.
2002-01-15 10:42:49 AM  
Ananova has won the Jihad!!!!
2002-01-15 10:45:36 AM  
who was inspecting the poop to make sure it was human?
2002-01-15 10:48:08 AM  
I had one of these behind my business. Garden hose solved the problem! Especially in winter when it's cold.
2002-01-15 10:48:26 AM  
I am the midnight shiatter that shiats at midnight!

Funny enough we had one of these while I served onboard the Tunny. Never figured out who the sick bastard was.....hmmmmm.
2002-01-15 10:48:27 AM  
Start Beavis and Butthead
2002-01-15 10:50:51 AM  
There's plenty of motive for being a midnight crapper. The baffled looks on the faces of the cops assigned to poop patrol would be reward enough for me.
2002-01-15 10:53:07 AM  
Daduru, I haven't heard of too many animals bothering to use toilet paper to wipe their asses...

2002-01-15 10:56:18 AM  
"I shot the sherrif, but I didn't fling my pooh at him".
2002-01-15 10:56:35 AM  
Guys, I might be going away for a while. Seems I have to change my daily routine.
2002-01-15 11:04:27 AM  
The sign only said no doggy poop.
2002-01-15 11:04:35 AM  
No Im not gonna let em catch me, No. Not gonna let them catch..the midnight pooper...
'sung to midnight rider'
catchy huh
2002-01-15 11:05:15 AM  
i bet it's the same guy who's been stealing all the Target shopping carts
2002-01-15 11:07:57 AM  
Isn't "Midnight Pooper" an Allman Brothers tune?
2002-01-15 11:08:30 AM  
And I would like to know what law, specifically, prohibits crapping near water towers.
2002-01-15 11:22:29 AM  
Siggy - we had one too. Well, except it wasn't at midnight... and it was left in the waste disposal of the women's bathroom stalls in the gym.

Close enough
2002-01-15 11:23:22 AM  
you'll Never take me Alive Copper!
2002-01-15 11:27:21 AM  
2002-01-15 11:28:26 AM  
Here's was my headline from yesterday:

"Minnesota town terrorized by Midnight Pooper. Motion detectors and floodlights deployed to detect defecator."

Always avoid alliteration.
2002-01-15 11:29:43 AM  
It's a tradition in the Navy to get onto the bridge and take a dump in the Captain's chair. "Dammit, Jim, I'm doctor not a pooper scooper."
2002-01-15 11:30:29 AM  
maybe it's the dogfarker. Nothing makes me want to take a nice dump like humping a dog.
2002-01-15 11:32:54 AM  
Diogenes - I think it's just a lyric

I'm a trooper, I'm a scooper, I'm a midnight pooper

or something like that
2002-01-15 11:34:15 AM  
"The only clue left has been toilet paper and its substitutes"

substitutes? what kind of reporting is this? stop the editorializing and state just the facts please...
2002-01-15 11:35:33 AM  
It's stories like this that warm my heart and make me give thanks to Allah for Fark!
2002-01-15 11:40:44 AM  
Possible suspect is:
[image from too old to be available]
2002-01-15 11:42:53 AM  
Fb- is the father of the poop!
2002-01-15 11:51:40 AM  
If we would let the government keep all our DNA in a central database, we could find him easily. How many more times does this have to happen before people will wake up?
2002-01-15 11:54:55 AM  
Probably just a homeless guy who has to take a dump.
2002-01-15 12:03:08 PM  
i'd be more concerned if it was IN the water tower.
2002-01-15 12:08:09 PM  
Somewhere, there is a conservative walking around without an agenda.
2002-01-15 12:09:59 PM  
Thank you SLAYERSWINE. Just what I needed, an ID chart.
2002-01-15 12:16:03 PM  
looks like shiat.
smells like shiat.
tastes like shiat.

glad I didn't step in it.
2002-01-15 12:30:16 PM  
Gather 'round Children, whilst I tell ya the tale 'bout 'ol Issac Washburn...

Now the way I heard it, near 200 year ago, a feller was murdered on THAT VERY SPOT, long before they put the water tower there. In fact, it used to be a two-holer outhouse belonging to a dandy, name of Issac Washburn. Issac was quietly doing his business late one night in January when he was senselessly done in by a pair of drunken youths on their way home from a barn dance. Fate would record that they were in an outhouse-tipping mood that night.

[Creepy Music]
With his last gasp, Issac vowed to return to the same spot every January for 6 days before and after the aniversary of his death, to try to pinch off that final turd which was left hanging and incomplete ever so long ago...
[/Creepy Music]
2002-01-15 12:31:48 PM  
This has deffinitly been a shiaty thread.
2002-01-15 12:44:49 PM  
Okay, wait, now, lets get this straight...
The cops want to catch him
So they are going to have floodlights, put an article in the paper, and stake out the place.

Yeah, I usually stop to crap where floodlights, cops, and newspaper articles are.
2002-01-15 12:48:48 PM  
Some good euphemisms for taking a crap that everyone knows already:

"Excuse me. I have to go make a sculpture of your face."

"I have to grow a stinky tail"

"Time to drop the Cosby kids off at the pool."
2002-01-15 12:52:14 PM  
2002-01-15 12:53:52 PM  
I was in a fraternity in college and one of the things that was so nasty was that there was always some guy in the frat house who dropped a slider in the toilet... you know the kind of shyt that leaves a streak in the bowl...

Then that shyt would dry up and we'd all end up having to try and extricate it by pissing on it over the next seven days because no one wanted to clean the toilet.

Is anyone hungry?
2002-01-15 12:55:10 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

That's funny. My Boobies didn't work because the image's server has shiat, without the A, in its domain name. Crazy ol' filter...
2002-01-15 12:57:12 PM  
Arg, why didn't anyone tell me that "first" right next to "post" becomes Boobies? I am having issues today.
2002-01-15 01:02:15 PM  
The Illinois Enema Bandit strikes again!
2002-01-15 01:33:42 PM  
EasyMidget, you forgot:
"Time to drive the Governor home."
"Roll a Stoagie."
and the mighty "Green-Apple splatters."
2002-01-15 01:34:39 PM  
"Time to restock the pond with Wrinkle-Neck Brown Trout..."


"There's CHICKS outside and you're dropping WOLFBAIT!"

(Free HAL CD-ROM to the first farker to name the movie..."
2002-01-15 01:35:49 PM  
At least he had the decency to wipe.
2002-01-15 01:52:43 PM  
Let's see if the filter lets this through.
2002-01-15 01:53:34 PM  
Well, just take that last 'a' out of the URL.

Stiupid fialter.
2002-01-15 01:56:05 PM  
Damn, I'd hate to be the shiathead cop that got ASSigned to this CRAPPY beat.
"McGirk, get out there and catch the Midnight Crapper, he struck again"
"Damn you, Midnight Crapper. Someday you'll crap in the wrong place, at the wrong time. And I'll be there. To catch you."
2002-01-15 01:58:11 PM  
Evil Camel: Is it Weird Science?
2002-01-15 02:04:33 PM  
I am the evil midnight pooper what poops at midnight!
2002-01-15 02:14:09 PM  
"The suspect's diet consists primarily of nuts and corn"

OK, not really.
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