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(AZCentral)   Nine hundred-pound man gets a free ride on a cargo net, a pony ride from paramedics, finally rolls onto plank and calls it the most active day of his life   (azcentral.com) divider line 418
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20429 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jun 2004 at 12:36 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-06-11 12:52:33 PM  
Where's Richard farkin' Simmons when you need him...jeebus.
 
2004-06-11 12:53:00 PM  
As Cartman "I am not fat I am buff!"
 
2004-06-11 12:53:09 PM  
if youre over 350lbs and youre not a pro football player.
u need deported from planet
 
2004-06-11 12:53:17 PM  
Perhaps he's just big boned.
 
2004-06-11 12:53:55 PM  
We could give him lipo and use the fat to make soap.

Or fuel a full fleet of earth-friendly flying machines.

Yeah.

Thats the ticket.
 
2004-06-11 12:53:58 PM  
...friends and relatives of the ailing man held up sheets so that news photographers and onlookers could not see him.

These must be the same people who were bringing him food since he couldn't go out to get it himself.
 
2004-06-11 12:53:58 PM  
If you've never been overweight, then you have no freaking clue and should STFU.

There's overweight, and then there's... I dont' know WTF to call this, but calling it "overweight" is like saying "they used some concrete" to make the Hoover dam.
 
2004-06-11 12:54:12 PM  
how is it that America seems to be the only place where you can have a medical condition making you fat? You never hear any Africans weighing in at over 500 lbs
 
2004-06-11 12:54:13 PM  
I'm sure someone will say it's glandular......

I mean I do feel bad for the guy, whether he brought it on himself or not...
Can you imagine being a prinsoner in your own body?
Not being able to clean yourself?
Move?
Function?

I mean, you have to live with your own smell which I'm sure you get used to...
And then the embarrasment (fire trucks, ambulances, news crew)

Why the F was the NEWS there? THis is news? Poor guy!
 
2004-06-11 12:54:40 PM  
(Time to feed the troll....)

I have, however, been addicted to nicotine and I have kicked that habit. That's a habit harder to kick....

Again, if you have never had the problem, how do you know it is easier to kick?

Oh, and by the way, many Farkers have also suggested shooting all the smokers. Woulda been kinda amusing had one of them offed you when you were "addicted".

/quit smoking "cold turkey" after 10 years, never looked back. quitting smoking is easy.
 
2004-06-11 12:55:18 PM  
No, unlike you, I've never had the experience of being a complete farking fatass. I have, however, been addicted to nicotine and I have kicked that habit. That's a habit harder to kick than eating 9 meals a day.

Since you were never a fatass, how do you know?

Having kicked both the fatass habit and the nicotine habit, I have to say it was 20 times easier for me to quit smoking. Why? When you quit smoking, you quit. When you quit overeating, you still have to eat. It's kinda like quitting smoking, but being forced to hold a lit cigarette in your mouth.
 
2004-06-11 12:55:28 PM  
Some people who are about 400 lbs can whine about it being a medical condition but 900 lbs? Sweeping and mopping the house once a day could have helped him take off 200 lbs easy. I'm sorry but there is no excuse for stuff like this. you can't whine for society to build bigger chairs,bigger doors, and bigger beds for you when you yourself won't even take the responsibility of helping yourself be healthy. Whiny fatasses should just STFU and start walking.
 
2004-06-11 12:55:31 PM  



I do not approve.

/Sloth
 
2004-06-11 12:55:39 PM  
900 pounds! Does skin really stretch that much?
 
2004-06-11 12:56:07 PM  
NAAFA

Is this the organization that Swollag mentioned?
 
2004-06-11 12:56:48 PM  
Crispus_Buttocks, ever see a fat skeleton?

/tipping the scales @205
 
2004-06-11 12:56:59 PM  
How did this guy even call 911?

"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with the palm of your hand.. now."
 
2004-06-11 12:57:24 PM  
and the Fat Fark Friday trifecta is complete....seriously though, there is a difference between being overweight and being 700lbs overweight, you've got to figure that that person has just given up.
 
2004-06-11 12:57:43 PM  
Making fun of fat people is funny
 
2004-06-11 12:57:44 PM  
2004-06-11 12:55:31 PM ChillibowFark

/you forgot gluttony (more appropriate?)
 
2004-06-11 12:58:05 PM  



"Hello, boss? Remember yesterday, when I was really, really fat?"
 
2004-06-11 12:58:18 PM  
It's hard to break bad habits. We need to figure out a better way to help obese people break the bad habits.

If you've never been overweight, then you have no freaking clue and should STFU.


How about a roundworm?

Seriously, it's called self control.
I quit smoking cigarettes, quit smoking weed, quit drinking myself into a stupor everyday all by realizing I had a problem and taking action to stop.
It wasn't easy. I didn't take a pill. I didn't do it all at once, but by consistently remembering what I was doing and why I was doing it, I managed to get through all that crap, and I'm a happier and heatlthier person for it.

I have no sympathy for the morbidly obese, they need to toughen up and get a clue or die of heart fauilure. In the meantime, they're just jacking up the cost of medical care for all the people who didn't cause their own problems.
 
2004-06-11 12:58:22 PM  
So... Just curious, but what's the world record for obesity?

~DJ
 
2004-06-11 12:59:05 PM  
Sissi

He was only in his early 30s. He just grew it.

Now, if they lipo him, he's gonna look like the elephant man.
 
2004-06-11 12:59:08 PM  
If you've never been overweight, then you have no freaking clue and should STFU.

I just want to give a great big WORD to that sentiment. I realize that it is easier not to get there in the first place, but there are a number of factors that lead to this.

And, in a way, it sorta sneaks up on you. You don't become a fat-ass overnight, so the change is so incremental. And then, one day, you realize what size pants you are buying...

Then you have to want to change. What does that take? A traumatic event (relative has double-bypass). A shocking one (can't buy pants at Lazarus anymore). Or something else.

Then, you have to change habits--and that's hard. No matter what cult diet you subscribe to, to maintain even vaguely healthy eating habits requires unlearning the habits you were in before, and developing new ones. It requires an awareness of what you it. It means starting a deliberate exercise program.

If you haven't been through it, you really don't understand what an undertaking this is in sum.

/over the last three years, lost 40-50 pounds, and have kept it off. Wife is pleased: she married a fat-ass, and now has something respectable.
 
2004-06-11 12:59:41 PM  
 
2004-06-11 01:00:14 PM  
I do not feel sorry for this guy.No one held a gun to his head to make him eat.


quieter said it best...


And anytime someone needs a 'rag on a stick' to clean themselves, that's usually a good hint to put the damn Twinkie DOWN.
 
2004-06-11 01:00:16 PM  
The Sugar Hill section of Upper Manhattan? This guy was doomed from the start...why didn't he just live at the corner of Fried Ham Street and Can O' Lard Lane?

Is this where the "Sugar Hill Gang" came from? They could do a tribute version of "rapper's delight" for him:

i said a chip bag the Twinkie the Twinkie
to the KFC box, a you dont stop
the eat it to the choc chip cookies say up jumped the Twinkie
to the rhythm of the hoagie, the meat
now what you eat is not a test--i'm chowin to the meat
and me, the stove, and my friends are gonna try to fry the cheese

see i am wonder bread and i like to eat more
to the ham, to the pie, the bread, and the cheese, the hoagies and Doritos
but first i gotta eat eat the hoagie to the hoagie
say up jump the cookie to the Choc chip cookies
let's bake, you dont stop
rock the griddle that will make your body large
well so far youve heard my voice but i brought two friends along
and next in the fridge is my man Sara Lee
come on, Sara, sing that song


You get the idea
 
2004-06-11 01:00:23 PM  
years ago was another case of a guy this big and later it came out he was eating a LOAF of bread as french toast and a lb. of bacon for breakfast daily. that's how you get that big
 
2004-06-11 01:01:14 PM  
Oh, and by the way, many Farkers have also suggested shooting all the smokers. Woulda been kinda amusing had one of them offed you when you were "addicted".

Huh? This is the stupidest thing I have read in the last 10 minutes.

Redonkeydiculous.
 
2004-06-11 01:01:47 PM  
They should harvest this dude's skin for burn victims, he certainly has enough of it.
 
2004-06-11 01:01:48 PM  
I'm sorry, I've carried extra pounds throughout my life, but, damnit, there comes a point when you have to take responsibility for your own actions. Glandular problem or no, the matter necessary to make a 900-pound man does not simply appear out of thin air.

This guy needs to go on a starvation diet pronto, and whoever's feeding him enough to maintain that bulk needs to be arrested for reckless endangerment.
 
2004-06-11 01:01:52 PM  
Where's the animated GIF of the overweight 5 year old that is bouncing around.

That gif always makes me want to beat the piss out of that kids parents.
 
2004-06-11 01:02:01 PM  
scumbucket

I'd like to read that story. Do you still have a link somewhere?

~DJ
 
2004-06-11 01:02:15 PM  
You know, thats how china cured itself of an opium plague... just went around and shot anyone who was smoking opium...
 
2004-06-11 01:02:28 PM  
See, I bet a good percentage of us eat like absolute pigs. I've eaten like a stoned man for as long as I can remember, and I'm a mere 225 or so. Everyone asks, "Holy crap, how can somebody get to 900 pounds?"
I have to say, you can't do it by gluttony alone. I know many people who have tried and failed.
This man _must_ have a medical condition, psychological or otherwise.

No way he could afford craploads of food and weight gain shakes and yet he somehow got to the size of like 6 normal people.
 
2004-06-11 01:03:25 PM  
No, seriously, it's his glands. It's not his fault he's fat. Seriously. He couldn't have done anything about weighing...900 pounds...

I think I might have seen him walking around the streets of Las Vegas. Oh wait-- that's every tourist from Texas...
 
2004-06-11 01:05:10 PM  
Haven't we all eaten ourselves into immobile obesity, in a way?
 
2004-06-11 01:05:26 PM  
um...
if you can't leave your house, someone must be bringing you your food.
Maybe those people so eager to "protect" him by holding up sheets would protect him for real by taking out his phone line and bringing him salads, fruits, and veggies fresh each day until he can get out the door on his own and walk somewhere for food hi likes better.
 
2004-06-11 01:05:26 PM  
This is big serving of Illness Beans here.
 
2004-06-11 01:05:35 PM  
why is it when you read these stories the people always live in a 5th floor apartment? We just need a new law...seriously fat people can only rent ground floor apartments.
 
2004-06-11 01:06:31 PM  
2004-06-11 01:03:25 PM EasyMidget


I think I might have seen him walking around the streets of Las Vegas. Oh wait-- that's every tourist from Texas...

====================

If you are refering to Texas Lawyers, then I agree. I just don't see that many 900 Texans.. unless they move to NYC first...
 
2004-06-11 01:06:49 PM  
2004-06-11 01:05:35 PM dedigger

because it's not a story when the overweight person gets wheeled out of their ground floor apartment
 
2004-06-11 01:07:08 PM  
HangingBlueSide and Untoaleannil:

I'm pretty sure it was Geraldo. Back in the day I worked evenings and watched a lot of those shows. I saw Hambone several times and thought he was awesome. One time they had his fiancee on the show, which must have been a setup. She was a reasonably attractive regular sized young girl. Geraldo asked Hambone about how the two of them were able to be intimate. Hambone got a wicked smile on his face and told Geraldo that he could work it out because "Hambone love to make love". The girl looked mortified. It was classic.
 
2004-06-11 01:07:43 PM  
Fark! Now I want a twinkie. Maybe I can steal this guy's stash..

I gained some weight (like 45 pounds) after my dad passed away because Ben and Jerry offered more solace than rice cakes. I realized I gained a bunch of weight, put down the ice cream, exercised, and I'm back to normal.

You just need to commit to fixing the problem rather than deeming it hopeless and giving up completely.
 
2004-06-11 01:07:59 PM  
No, unlike you, I've never had the experience of being a complete farking fatass. I have, however, been addicted to nicotine and I have kicked that habit. That's a habit harder to kick than eating 9 meals a day.

You, as a fatass, don't understand that WE don't have to find better ways to get fatasses to stop being burdens on the rest of us. YOU have to stop eating, fatasses.


I'm not overweight (170 lb., 6') so you can't throw that "fatass" word at me.

Nicotine addiction is easier to kick, for a lot of people, than food. Keep in mind that the need for food is hardwired into us, whereas nicotine is not. Also, nicotine is easier or harder for people to kick based on factors such as genetics and brain chemistry (which is why antidepressants often work as stop-smoking aids). For some people, it's really difficult to get off the stuff; for others, it's not.

If you think a nicotine craving is more severe than hunger, you've never been truly hungry. (Though I can't say much, because I never have either.)

When people get to the 6, 7, 8 hundred pound level, there's basically very little they can do for themselves. They normally can't even turn their heads; if a person that fat turns his/her head, it will break his/her neck. Furthermore, while more modestly overweight people have enough additional muscle strength to carry the weight, people this obese will only get progressively weaker, because of having to lie in bed.

Also, people with this problem can't exactly stop eating, since they're likely to die of starvation before they get down to a healthy weight.

Hence, people like this are honestly in need of medical help. If someone's 900#, past mistakes aside, there's little he can do at that point to help himself.
 
2004-06-11 01:08:27 PM  
He can't leave the apartment, he's on the fifth floor... he doesn't work... how does he get food?
 
2004-06-11 01:08:34 PM  
To get to 900lb's you've gotta farking want it and work at it every day. That's a full time job to reach nearly half-of-a-ton. He must have looked at his belly one day and said:

"Let's see what this baby can do!"

/fat bastage
 
2004-06-11 01:08:45 PM  
Why is the US the only country to have this so called "medical" condition? Never seen a fat Ethiopian.
 
2004-06-11 01:08:53 PM  
You know, I read that story about the fat man in the ocean as well. However I am fairly sure he was not out there for 'months' I think it was just a day or two.
 
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