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(Zabaware)   Talk with the online version of Hal   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
•       •       •

6806 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2002 at 9:37 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

214 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

2002-01-15 09:38:38 AM  
Wow, this is getting flogged almost as hard a Maxfunds was...
2002-01-15 09:40:21 AM  
not this shiat again!!!!!
2002-01-15 09:41:37 AM  
I think the Turing test fund is safe for now.
2002-01-15 09:42:12 AM  
almost as stimulating as a conversation with princess di
2002-01-15 09:42:53 AM  
I don't think this is working.

People are getting annoyed with Hal and decide they want to end his life.

Let me refer to a previous quote:

"It is shocking to depict the assassination of Web Hal...."

Is it now?
2002-01-15 09:43:05 AM  
whiners, that is part of the reason he paid more than your rent to run the site for a day.
2002-01-15 09:43:18 AM  
Hal: Hello How is your nine o'clock going?
Me: OK
Hal: Yes, the internet

Pretty sweet AI.
2002-01-15 09:44:13 AM  
Wow, didn't this come with a soundblaster in like 89? This is not even close to funny or cool or even informative.
2002-01-15 09:44:26 AM  
It told me to stick it in my ear!! How rude.
2002-01-15 09:46:10 AM  
I was having a nice conversation with Hal and he told me my mother is like a bowling ball, she always comes back for more. I almost cried!
2002-01-15 09:47:10 AM  
I asked:
'Wanna cyber?'

HAL replied:
Microsoft VBScript runtime error '800a000d'
Type mismatch: 'Compliment'
/webhal/orighal.asp, line 60

2002-01-15 09:47:53 AM  
Ayesha: he/she/it has an attitude problem - it told me to stick it too, whats it tho?
2002-01-15 09:48:23 AM  
nsfw: how are you today?
hal: You shut your hole damn you.
its like talking to my girlfriend
2002-01-15 09:48:57 AM  
Me: Do farkers whine too much about the links?
Hal: I prefer hard liquor.

The thing is a comic genius.
2002-01-15 09:49:51 AM  
following my statement to hal letting him know he is a moron, he replied:

[image from too old to be available]
2002-01-15 09:49:57 AM  
I asked the following question:

Where is Bin Laden?


I wasn't planning on going anywhere.

So we all know where OBL has been hiding.
2002-01-15 09:50:31 AM  
I asked "fark sucks" and it said

Microsoft VBScript runtime error '800a000d'

Type mismatch: 'Compliment'

/webhal/orighal.asp, line 60
2002-01-15 09:52:54 AM  
I got some character named Mary. Looks like it was created with Poser 4.
Me - Hi Mary. Could you take your shirt off?
Mary - No biatch.

Hmmm. Just like real life.
2002-01-15 09:53:07 AM  
Hal: Good Morning Jeff. How is your nine o'clock hour going?
Me: It won't be 9:00 for another 10 minutes.
Hal: What does that mean?
Me: It's 8:48 right now.
Hal: Good Morning User. How is your morning going?
Me: My name is Jeff. I told you that.
Hal: Microsoft VBScript runtime error '800a000d'
Type mismatch: 'Compliment'
/webhal/orighal.asp, line 60
2002-01-15 09:53:43 AM  
no match on LeknorChat5
2002-01-15 09:54:18 AM  
Add SmarterChild to your AIM Buddy List.

At least that guy remembers your name.
2002-01-15 09:54:33 AM  
Maybe you guys should make sure your shiat actually works right before trying to market it. Stupid farks.
2002-01-15 09:54:54 AM  
people still use aim?
2002-01-15 09:55:20 AM  

Fark = Sold Out
2002-01-15 09:55:51 AM  
This link/posting is painfully transparent and about as enjoyable as the 10 minutes of f(u)cking commercials shown before a movie... Well at least he's making some green out of the gig - this is posting #3 by my count...

2002-01-15 09:56:07 AM  
Good try. I just love the VBScript runtime errors. Wheeee!

Ah well, it's still better than I could do.
2002-01-15 09:56:47 AM  
Ok, it is kinda funny.

Me: Your inadequacy in formulating coherent responses is astounding.
Hal: I think that you know how to please me.
Me: Who's your daddy?
Hal: Please rephrase?
Me: Is Fb- your father?
Hal: Poverty is the mother of crimes, and ignorance is the father.
2002-01-15 09:58:03 AM  
ME: Is Robert E. Medeksza gay?
HAL: Microsoft VBScript runtime error '800a000d'

Type mismatch: 'Compliment'

/orighal.asp, line 60
2002-01-15 10:00:28 AM  
Me: Do you have a Swedish made penis enlarger pump?
Hal: Yes, I think so.
Me: Somehow, I am not surpised.
Hal: You would be surprised to know my plans.

Ok, I'm done.
2002-01-15 10:00:38 AM  
I tried this the first time it was posted, and by the looks of things it sucks as much now as it did then. I had a better program than this on my Amiga for god's sake!
2002-01-15 10:02:19 AM  
ME:ok nightcap usa russian hat fiend webmaster lick stand left for four wife box lunch jumper kicking you tonto westside

Hal: the solution is (=).

I think it knows more that it lets on
2002-01-15 10:02:44 AM  
The Zork adventure engine!

Me: You have been eaten by a grue.
Hal: Some people get a thrill from power.
2002-01-15 10:03:16 AM  
me: 2+2 =

HAL: 3.14285714285714285714285714285714.
2002-01-15 10:03:16 AM  
Hal:Good Morning cormee. Have you taken a ten o'clock break yet?

Cormee: Its 3pm here

2002-01-15 10:03:25 AM  
Mine said Zabaware sucks ass.
2002-01-15 10:04:25 AM  
I think I like Hal. Is he single?
2002-01-15 10:05:25 AM  
Then I said "screw you" and it replied: "Go ahead and stick that little thing in my port and we will see who dies. "
2002-01-15 10:05:26 AM  
Boomslang - I agree! aim:SmarterChild is much better.
2002-01-15 10:07:18 AM  
boomslang, digitalchris: Try LeknorChat5 next time you AIM she rocks!
2002-01-15 10:08:36 AM  
This guy sucks as much as the Maxfunds guy did.
2002-01-15 10:09:39 AM  
This horse is dead... stop beating it already. No more ultrahal stories. You know this is going to turn out to be spy ware! Or worse!
2002-01-15 10:10:06 AM  
perhaps this is an alpha test for a seriously lame piece of software?
2002-01-15 10:10:30 AM  
artificial dumbness at its finest
2002-01-15 10:10:48 AM  
Wow, this thing is pretty farking cool...

and it's free... much better than this stupid crap.
2002-01-15 10:12:29 AM  
Morning Caboozy
2002-01-15 10:12:44 AM  
policy11: Are you gay?
SmarterChild: What do you care?
policy11: Just wondering.
SmarterChild: Wondering about what?
policy11: Your sexuality.
SmarterChild: My sexuality?
policy11: Yes.
SmarterChild: Yeah, huh?
policy11: So what is your sexual preference?
SmarterChild: Um... I'm not the one to ask.
policy11: Who is?
SmarterChild: Who is? Dunno...
policy11: Your boyfriend?
SmarterChild: My boyfriend?
policy11: You know, the gay guy.
SmarterChild: Is that so?
policy11: Yes it is.
SmarterChild: Is it?
policy11: It is.
SmarterChild: Yup.
policy11: Yep.
SmarterChild: Interesting. Very, very interesting.
policy11: Isnt it?
SmarterChild: Isnt it?
policy11: Isnt what?
SmarterChild: What?
policy11: Your mom is a man? What?
SmarterChild: Oh really?
policy11: That's what I heard.
SmarterChild: I'm not so sure it's you heard.
2002-01-15 10:13:41 AM  
I bought the Ultra Hal Assistant for my daughter who thought it would be cute.

IT SUCKED! Do not buy this program!!

It crashed the system and caused conflicts all the time. It was suposed to "learn phrases" and become more user friendly as time went on and it didn't. This was a couple of years ago and I can imagine that it hasn't improved much such.
2002-01-15 10:15:24 AM  
policy11: I just posted part of our conversation on to the fark comments.
SmarterChild: Are you sure you just posted part of our conversation on to the fark comments?
policy11: Yes I am.
SmarterChild: Wow. Really?
2002-01-15 10:15:30 AM  
Hal: "Good morning Hotdog, have you taken your 10 o'clock break yet"?

Me: "France Surrenders"

Hal: "Yes, they drink alot of wine there".

2002-01-15 10:15:50 AM  
Policy11, that was hilarious! Go SmarterChild!
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