FARK.com: (988796) Man successfully implements phase one of his plan to take over the world

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		Man successfully implements phase one of his plan to take over the world (story.news.yahoo.com)		55
		More: Spiffy

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35240 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jun 2004 at 3:02 PM | Favorite | share:

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RobbieFal		2004-06-09 01:51:57 PM

zorgon		2004-06-09 03:06:56 PM

Yeahyeah. We all get Step One. And Step Three.
But what happens in Step Two?

Farker Lewis		2004-06-09 03:08:55 PM

Called Dobby's Frontier Town, Lee's creation blends authentic Americana with whimsy and is the master work of a man who still has a curiosity for western history and a 12-year-old's giddiness for gadgets.

That reads like a brochure. No reporter wrote that...at least not unless they were under duress.

anjinho_do_saxo		2004-06-09 03:09:14 PM

I want a bowling ball cannon. For my office.

And wait'll Hollywood hears about this! They'll be filing oaters on the cheap on his four-acre backlot.

eomoe		2004-06-09 03:10:22 PM

Yes...let us shoot anvils into the air! Muahahaha

Alexis		2004-06-09 03:12:14 PM

What do you want to do tomorrow night?

Burn_The_Plows		2004-06-09 03:13:36 PM

The village draws about 20 to 30 tourists each week during the summer months, and about 650 people show up on each day of his two-day Fall Festival a free event that features historic re-enactors. This year's event is scheduled for Sept. 11-12.

Is he going to crash a wagon into the General Store?

/too soon?

Nishi Kawaguchi Style		2004-06-09 03:13:46 PM

I'll take the butcher's word for it.

mahakala		2004-06-09 03:13:52 PM

Same thing we do every night Pinky

de_Selby		2004-06-09 03:15:05 PM

i submitted this with a much worse headline.

klatubaradanikto		2004-06-09 03:15:18 PM

That's really cool, but that farking story is farking worthless without farking pictures.

Outlaw_Rudy		2004-06-09 03:15:41 PM

The same thing we do every night...

Outlaw_Rudy		2004-06-09 03:16:33 PM

wow, guess my refresh button doesn't work very well :/

improvius		2004-06-09 03:17:08 PM

Today, Nebraska. Tomorrow... Iowa!

-Imp

khayman5		2004-06-09 03:19:44 PM

Hey, nobody is taking over Iowa gawd damnit! You try it and I'll kick you squaw in the nuts!

JoshTheTech		2004-06-09 03:20:02 PM

Phase 1. Steal Underpants

South Park Rules

sos		2004-06-09 03:20:33 PM

wesley_crusher		2004-06-09 03:21:26 PM

"The farthest we've shot a bowling ball is three-quarters of a mile," Lee explained casually, noting that he and Dennis also experiment with shooting 120-pound anvils into the air.

This guy is my new hero.

fishrocket		2004-06-09 03:22:25 PM

"The farthest we've shot a bowling ball is three-quarters of a mile," Lee explained casually, noting that he and Dennis also experiment with shooting 120-pound anvils into the air.

Classic.

MacG		2004-06-09 03:22:53 PM

anvils and bowling balls? I think Darwin might get this guy before old age does.

StinkyCrotch		2004-06-09 03:24:55 PM

We built this city
We built this city
on senility...

whidbey65		2004-06-09 03:28:33 PM

That's nothing.

I'm at Phase Three now...

bdbthinker		2004-06-09 03:32:47 PM

"My dad one time, he says if I ever retired, find something to do because if you don't, you die," Lee said. "So I found something to do."

Maybe someone should tell him he's going to die anyway. Then again, ole pappy's never wrong.

CornFedIowan		2004-06-09 03:38:23 PM

Like Nebraska could take over Iowa. Pfft.

Well, except in football.

I suggest invading South Dakota or Wyoming first.

LurkB4ULeap		2004-06-09 03:39:58 PM

Somebody say anvil?

finn_frenzy		2004-06-09 03:40:06 PM

You say "retirement hobby"
I say "quaint shantytown where the kids' inheritance used to be"

Barnacles!		2004-06-09 03:42:54 PM

here's my favorite part of the article:

"He'd heard that a cabin once owned by the man believed to be the first black homesteader in western Nebraska, Robert Anderson, could still be found in the region.
Once Lee and his son, Dennis, finished restoring the cabin and furnishing it with memorabilia from the frontier days, Lee took a book of photos of the cabin to Anderson's widow, Daisy, who was living at a home for the elderly in Denver. She was just 22 years old when she married Anderson, who was in his 80s."

A dude who was in his 80's marrying a 22 year old chick? YOU GO DOG! Shiat! I hope I am that lucky when I am gumming jello and wearing diapers in the nursing home!

Ol' Doc Washburn		2004-06-09 03:43:31 PM

Im guessing it was the renovated building in Lee's pants that put poor, old Daisy Anderson in the grave.

Grapple		2004-06-09 03:45:45 PM

Kid's inheritance my ass. Spend your money however you want ol' guy. Screw your kids, let them earn their own money. muahahhha

TheGrayCat		2004-06-09 03:45:59 PM

He's 82. He better get moving on that "second step of taking over the world" thing. Or maybe he'll will his ambition to his heirs.

"But I don't WANT to take over the world, Dad!"
"You'll take it over and you'll like it you ungrateful little brat!"

Dil Doe		2004-06-09 03:51:34 PM

Did he get any help from the Supreme Court? That's the easiest way to start your career as a world-taker-overer.

Hotdog		2004-06-09 03:54:24 PM

"Son, one day all this will be yours.

What? The curtains?"

/obligatory grail

ParanoidParent		2004-06-09 03:57:23 PM

The whole world? He won't be able to fit more than half of it on four acres.

pilots13		2004-06-09 04:04:54 PM

"He'd heard that a cabin once owned by the man believed to be the first black homesteader in western Nebraska"

The article fails to mention that this was also the only black homesteader in western Nebraska

//Nebraskan Black = Oxymoron

Scalded Ape		2004-06-09 04:05:52 PM

That's really weird. I live in rural Nebraska and the only thing in the entire article I've heard of is Alliance (the town). I think it's the biggest town in a 100 mile radius or so, but the population is only 4,000. I think. I've only been there once a long time ago.

So that guy really is in the middle of nowhere!

swahnhennessy		2004-06-09 04:15:29 PM

That's pretty sweet. But I suppose living in Nebraska you need to find something to do. Some of the craziest/most creative oddballs I've ever encountered were in Western Kansas. Guess a whole lot of flat nothingness does something to you.

Halfzware_Shag		2004-06-09 04:22:12 PM

Alliance, named for Alliance, OH, has 9,000 citizens

slykens1		2004-06-09 04:34:15 PM

Crap, I'm on phase seven of my plan and no one seems to have realized it yet.

Speaking of which, I am accepting applications for the following positions:

Supreme Commander of the Doughnut Shops
Supreme Brewmaster
Supremess Fapmaster (Women only, please)

You'll know when and where to apply soon, I hope.

/what medication?

British		2004-06-09 04:36:47 PM

I like the other news story after this:

Fark headline submitter goes for a real reach for a joke, fails

decker12		2004-06-09 04:38:01 PM

I don't know who to hate more. The posters who have come up with these awful headlines for the day or the moderators who greenlight them.

First "No. 2 guy at Coca-Cola passed over for No. 1 job. Looks like an ugly situation" which made little to no sense, a post somehow including "Doh! and Duke Sucks", and now this. I want my money back!

ConanTroutman		2004-06-09 04:50:15 PM

Good headline farker, Almost got me to read the whole farking article

Cygnis-x		2004-06-09 04:52:02 PM

This is the second article this week about a 20 year old woman marrying an 80 year old man.

what the hell?

skankboy		2004-06-09 05:12:46 PM

Is this another article on Bush?

/Didn't RTFA

trigonman3		2004-06-09 05:15:32 PM

We've got something similar near where I used to live:

Storybook Ranch (pops)

Joshg		2004-06-09 05:16:15 PM

I'd like to see this place. It sounds pretty damn cool. Especially if he demonstrates the bowling ball cannon every half hour.

Radworld4		2004-06-09 05:20:14 PM

This is what happens when you have nothing but farmland to stare at instead of an ocean.

High_Plains_Drifter		2004-06-09 05:23:52 PM

can't.read.whole.article.must.sleep.nooooooowwwwwwwwzzzzzz

cryinoutloud		2004-06-09 05:29:15 PM

I'd prefer beat-up old cabins in my yard to junker cars, if my man just HAD to collect something. Hell, I'd make curtains.

celery_stalker		2004-06-09 05:30:01 PM

godiluvbeer		2004-06-09 06:33:40 PM

Barnacles, I'm with you man. That was indeed the greatest part of the article. I hope I become that man. In my 80's with some hot 20-something bathing and feeding me.

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