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(CNN)   If the universe is green, how will we know to stop mowing?   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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4217 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2002 at 5:27 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

61 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-01-14 05:28:59 PM  
Ermmm...Didn't we have this a couple days ago?

2002-01-14 05:30:39 PM  
This is God's way of farking with scientists.
2002-01-14 05:31:40 PM  
just get your 12 year old to mow it. That's half the reason for having kids in the first place!
2002-01-14 05:33:04 PM  
yay, the universe is vomit green...
2002-01-14 05:34:06 PM  
Better than hot pink.
2002-01-14 05:34:19 PM  
better yet how will know to stop smoking?
2002-01-14 05:37:28 PM chocolate chip ice cream..
2002-01-14 05:38:47 PM  
2002-01-14 05:40:36 PM  
Yeah I thought Harmonia or someone tried posting this last week.
2002-01-14 05:43:07 PM  
I submitted a link for this story from The Guardian last week.
2002-01-14 05:48:12 PM  
My. Our tax dollars at work. Good to see they're doing something useful.
2002-01-14 05:54:50 PM  
What a job to be able to come up with the color of the universe, hmm... if they wanted to do something worthwhile, why don't they tell us what color Michael Jackson really is... now if they could do that, I would be impressed.
2002-01-14 05:57:05 PM  
This link was submitted several dozen times, but this headline made me laugh
2002-01-14 06:05:54 PM  
I'd say with our brains most likely... That's how.

Would we would be another question...
2002-01-14 06:06:41 PM  
Hey Drew, the email in your bio doesn't work. What's your REAL e-mail?
2002-01-14 06:10:09 PM  
What does the color of Aquaman's pubic hair and the universe have in common? Now we know.
2002-01-14 06:19:16 PM  
At something like 0.18 lightspeed red traffic lights are doppler shifted green.
2002-01-14 06:19:42 PM  
"If the universe is green, how will we know to stop mowing?"

When we hit a Chinaman?
2002-01-14 06:28:31 PM  
At something like 0.18 lightspeed red traffic lights are doppler shifted green

That would explain all those tickets I get. . .
2002-01-14 06:29:06 PM  
Labberdasher - it's academia, not some government agency. Universities need to be free to explore new ideas, no matter how stupid they may seem, otherwise we'd all be as dumb as you.
2002-01-14 06:42:58 PM  
Actually, I think the color is called "sage".

2002-01-14 06:46:00 PM  
PatrickBateman, dear ... what makes you think I was anything other than entirely sincere?
2002-01-14 06:53:21 PM  
Try dr­ew[nospam-﹫-backwards]k­raf*com, although the one in there should work just fine too
2002-01-14 06:58:22 PM  
It's the green of hospital tile
2002-01-14 07:01:16 PM  
This is about 200 million years later than previously thought - an extra period of grace that humans could use to develop technologies for living on a hotter Earth, such as building communities deep underground.

Does this strike anyone else as stupid? I'm guessing the author threw this in to lengthen his story, he couldn't have possibly felt that it was important.
2002-01-14 07:02:04 PM  
Oh, goody! The universe is turquoise! Now a few lavender throw pillows and some chic chintz curtains and we have a FAB-U-LOUS place! Christopher, bring the color wheel and let's accessorize!
2002-01-14 07:04:45 PM  
A green by any other name.

Ugly ass green.

RGB: 162:232:206
Pantone #337
CMYK 37% 0% 18% 0%

Now run off and make geocities pages and ugly photoshop images.
2002-01-14 07:06:07 PM  
Does this strike anyone else as stupid? I'm guessing the author threw this in to lengthen his story, he couldn't have possibly felt that it was important.

Yeah, that is pretty stupid, but I guess it would be no worse than someone posting a reply to a comment in the completely wrong thread or something...
2002-01-14 07:09:52 PM  
What's stupid is that I've just submitetd this as a photoshop link :)

Photoshop the color of the universe.
2002-01-14 07:10:15 PM  
Photoshop this pic:
[image from too old to be available]

...I definitely see batboy potential here, or maybe something with sheep...
2002-01-14 07:17:23 PM  
Dodger, aw come on! That quote is way stupider than confusing two astronomy articles.
2002-01-14 07:27:01 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-01-14 07:31:13 PM  
I lived in a house in Bloomington, IL that was the same color as the universe, making me now wonder if I was, in fact, at the CENTER of the universe during that year.

Also, if you drove south down my street in Bloomington a couple hundred miles, you would eventually wind up in Memphis - IN FRONT OF GRACELAND!

I think my point couldn't be clearer.

Good Day!
2002-01-14 07:33:45 PM  
This is the most useless farking scientific research done sine that $2-billion study to determine how coffee mugs leaves rings on desktops.
What the hell is the point of this? I can see the story now....
"We believe that, as the universe gets older and expands, it shifts toward a red phase. You know, like that Doppler thingy. Yeah. This proves it."
The universe was unavailable for comment, though it's agent did release this press statement:
God: "Well, one has to realize that a spec-TAC-ular artist such as the universe is going to be particularly sensetive to the various emotional trends of existence. Much as Pablo Picasso and his 'blue period.' Remember that? I do, and I don't recall the press giving ~him~ such a hard time about that. Me-damn, don't you people have anything more important to worry about? I notice your oceans are pretty farked up, lately."
In related news, LucasArts plans to spend $30-million re-digitizing the popular "Star Wars" series to reflect the true color of space. George Lucas is reportedly "bummed" that his original use of color scheme to create visual metaphors for the tone of his movies is going to be spoiled.
"But on the plus side," continues Lucas, "Jar-Jar looks fabulous is this color. We're thinking of marketing new dolls to the Baskin-Robbins chain."
2002-01-14 07:47:39 PM  
Hmm.. some simple reasoning could have come up with this result: Look at a picture of the visible spectrum. Point your finger to the middle. What do you you see? Puke-green.

Similarly, a little bit of common sense would show the futility of such an experiment: the visible spectrum is just that- what we humans can see. Does this matter to the rest of the universe? No.

PS. No offense to the original poster, good headline!
2002-01-14 07:57:53 PM  
Hey Aracnix, the rant is amusing, but bring on the lesbian pictures you mention in your profile.

It's all about the
img.fark.netView Full Size
2002-01-14 08:00:28 PM  
Sorry, I should have used the 2002 model of
img.fark.netView Full Size

I won't let it happen again.
2002-01-14 08:06:05 PM  
Don't any of y'all know chartreuse when you see it?

The Forest Service must be elated.

Thatguy: I once lived a house this color as well. It was in Riverside, CA, and if you got on the freeway and drove you ended up at Disneyland! There can't be two centers to the universe can there?
2002-01-14 08:10:48 PM  
Grizzlyjohnson: While there cannot be two centers of the universe, it would make sense that as the universe expands, the center will shift slightly.

Unless you lived in Riverside in 1993-1994. Then we have serious cosmologic problems.

I haven't yet figured the Elvis/Disney correlation. Steven Hawking is supposed to get back to me on that one. Although, to be fair, don't you have to take multiple freeways to get to Anaheim?

By the way, why the hell were you living in Riverside? Ick.
2002-01-14 08:12:05 PM  
ack.. the colors in the picture of the spectrum keep fading back and forth into each other.
I actually thought it was an animated gif before realizing that Im just tired.

or brain damaged
2002-01-14 08:18:29 PM  
The color of the universe is the default Geocities page background color?
2002-01-14 08:18:29 PM  
Err yeah umm okay.

Dag-nab-it go outside right now and check the sky at night.

Hell that looks like chocolate fudge to me.

(...runs out the door, jumps in car and goes to kroger to get a pint)
2002-01-14 08:27:00 PM  
THis explains a lot.

The reason plants are green is because there is more green light from the sun. This means that plant life in the universe will, generally be green. Which may conclude to a large number of plant bearing planets having oxygen atmospheres. wheeee.

Also that's pretty damn close to "chinese kitchen" green, or "intitution" green. They choose this colour because it soothes you. (it has an effect on the brain that actually makes yoou calmer). Also iunteresting.
2002-01-14 08:33:26 PM  
"it would make sense that as the universe expands..."

How can something infinite expand, or is the theory of an infinite universe been discounted? (just asking :)
2002-01-14 08:37:15 PM  

Nope, lived in Riverside (in the house in question, anyway) '67 through '72. I hated it there but I couldn't get my parents to let me move to Miami by myself :) Seeing as I was only sevenish, I think they made the right decision. I've lived in worse places, like San Bernardino, for instance.

And, yeah, okay, you have to take two freeways technically. If you just stay on the 91 you end up in Torrance but I couldn't think of anything potentially spiritually significant about Torrance, so I fudged.
2002-01-14 08:38:39 PM  
I think the current thinking is an "infinite but unbounded" model... like how an ant crawling around on a balloon will never walk off the "edge", only in 3D. Or 4D. Or whatever.
2002-01-14 08:59:09 PM  
Due to popular request, here's a couple of my pictures...
(I'll make a plug for my online gallery later.)
Bosom Buddies
Skinny Dipping

I actually don't do a lot of ultra kink anymore. Mostly just nudes, and I just try to make them tasteful and strange.
2002-01-14 09:01:12 PM  
Meshman: Because the universe isn't "infinite" in the way most people think of it. It's "infinite" in the way that the surface of a Moebius strip is infinite, or the surface of a sphere.
Just because it's infinite doesn't mean you can't quanitify it.
2002-01-14 09:07:47 PM  
In correct terms, the Universe is "boundless yet finite."
2002-01-14 09:20:26 PM  
Like the freeway system in LA. Except for the 91, which, for some reason, still ends in Torrance.
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