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(Fark)   CSB Sunday: The worst thing you ever broke   ( fark.com) divider line
    More: CSB, sister, new doll, disney trinket dish, little sister, fights, youngest sis, new doll buggy, fist fights  
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2808 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2018 at 9:00 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-01-13 08:05:26 PM  
You probably blamed your siblings, but you know you caused it. It's time to confess. We'll forgive you even if your mom won't.
 
2018-01-13 08:06:40 PM  
A handful of bones and hearts
 
2018-01-13 08:10:54 PM  
An antique frame from a local museum. It was very expensive.
 
2018-01-13 08:11:06 PM  
An antique telescope's lens - and Mom never did get over it.
 
2018-01-13 08:11:12 PM  
My penis. Still remember that popping sound and the look on her face.
 
2018-01-13 08:14:36 PM  
I crashed a brand-new CMM lathe really hard on my first day working for my dad. It wasn't my fault, because I wasn't the one who programmed it and it was a problem with the program, but those assholes let me think I'd wrecked an $80k machine.
 
2018-01-13 08:15:31 PM  
My mom was a semi-famous quilter. Ended up the President of the Pine Tree Quilter's Guild for many years. Back in the 80s, she had a bunch of them appraised. All of them appraised in the multiple thousands. These aren't really quilts for use. They're wall-hangings and otherwise decorative. All hand-stiched. All hand quilted. All very intricate.

I was probably 25 when she gave them all to me. I was the responsible kid compared to my sister.

I ruined *all* the quilts trying to protect them. I wrapped them all in heavy duty plastic and then placed those wraps in garbage bags and stored them in the attic where they would stay dry.

Evidently, this is the *wrong* way to store quilts. It *is*, however, a perfect way to dry-rot a quilt or 6.

I opted to not to say anything about it until after mom died. Dad said that it was a good thing, because she would have just gone ahead and killed me on the spot.
 
2018-01-13 08:20:25 PM  
I'm a klutz, so many things have been broken over my many years, naturally. Perhaps the most spectacular was when I crashed a hand truck into the glass display case of a hardware store (about which they were very, very nice, thankfully).

The worse thing I feel a person can break, however, is a promise to another - because when someone is depending on you, letting them down unforgivable.

And there are no CSBs about that.
 
2018-01-13 08:25:05 PM  
A brand new Corvette.

I worked at a dealership years ago, and made it to an inventory management position at a very young age. One day, my GM wanted a Corvette on the raised racks in the front of the lot, and told a salesman to drive it up when we were staging the lot. I stopped him, and asked him what he was doing. "[The GM] wants it on the racks", he said.

The Corvette was too low. Putting it on those racks was going to destroy it. I stopped him flat in his tracks and said "Sorry, I can't let you do that". He calls the GM, who calls me, and I walk down to his office.

After 15 minutes of getting chewed out in a "You don't tell me what I can and can't do" manner, I walked back to the lot. The salesman was still there, and I gave him the green light to head up the ramps. He ripped every cross-member and low hanging piece of metal off of the bottom of that car. Even bent the frame.

I got fired the next morning for destroying a Corvette, I guess the GM needed a scapegoat. So even though I didn't drive it up the racks, and I tried to stop it, it stands to this day as the most expensive thing ~I~ ever broke.
 
2018-01-13 08:27:04 PM  
A hamster ball. Luckily the hamster wasn't in it at the time.
 
2018-01-13 08:29:50 PM  
An IBM 43xx mainframe computer.

I was the sysprog at 3M in 1983, and I was installing the new VM operating system. Long story short, we had a simultaneous double head crash and lost DOSRES and VMSRES.

It took 48 hours to get new disk packs in and recover the system, and I worked the entire time (apart from getting beer and pizzas sent in).
 
2018-01-13 08:32:30 PM  
Probably my cousin's face.  We were about six. I'd sharpened a stick into a throwing spear, and we were fake fighting. I got the brilliant idea that it would look totally cool if I threw it just past her head from about 15 feet away, and she'd pretend I hit her in the face.   Problem is I did hit her in the face.  Just under her right eye, between the middle of her cheek and the point of her cheek bone.  She crumpled to the ground, threw her hands to her face, and I saw blood streaming out.  It was bad. The ambulance came and hustled her off.  All the parents were pissed.  My grandmother was beyond pissed and tanned my hide while I was standing up.  It barely registered.

After all that, she got incredibly lucky.  She needed two tiny stitches to close the cut.  Suffered no damage to her eye.  And avoided any permanent scar.  She even forgave me because she'd said she was OK with me throwing the damned thing and she knew I'd not meant it.

Going on 40 years later it's still one of the two or three scariest moments of my life.
 
2018-01-13 08:33:49 PM  
A few months after my mum died, I broke what was one of her favourite fruit bowls.

Tried using superglue to put it all back together, but to no avail. I feel horrible for days after that.
 
2018-01-13 08:36:44 PM  
In college, there was an upperclassmen who found a friend of mine at a party, far too inebriated. He lured her out to his car to "show her his stereo". Sparing the details, but she was violated.
Walking into the dining hall the next morning, he came running up to me with a huge grin on his face, excitedly saying something. I didn't hear a word he said, but something instinctual came over me and I slugged him straight in the face. He went down, I stepped around him and went to get a tray for the buffet. It was a good minute or so until the full notion of what just happened sank in. I thought I should have been more conflicted about it, but wasn't. Turns out it broke his nose. He was eventually expelled, but no charges were ever laid on him.

I think that qualifies for the purpose of "worst thing broken", as there's not much worse than a rapist.
 
2018-01-13 08:37:16 PM  
Ulna and Radius. That hurt.
 
2018-01-13 08:38:41 PM  

no1curr: A few months after my mum died, I broke what was one of her favourite fruit bowls.

Tried using superglue to put it all back together, but to no avail. I feel horrible for days after that.


I broke a really nice crystal candy dish my late mother-in-law treasured and my husband kept in the middle of the coffee table.  When I was vacuuming, I swung the cord around, knocked it over and broke it.  He was really upset.

I blamed it on the cat.
 
2018-01-13 08:42:28 PM  

Zeb Hesselgresser: Ulna and Radius. That hurt.


Ow.  Did you have surgery?  Like the titanium rod?

I had that for the ulna I broke.  Looked like a broken chicken leg bone.
 
2018-01-13 08:44:55 PM  

croesius: In college, there was an upperclassmen who found a friend of mine at a party, far too inebriated. He lured her out to his car to "show her his stereo". Sparing the details, but she was violated.
Walking into the dining hall the next morning, he came running up to me with a huge grin on his face, excitedly saying something. I didn't hear a word he said, but something instinctual came over me and I slugged him straight in the face. He went down, I stepped around him and went to get a tray for the buffet. It was a good minute or so until the full notion of what just happened sank in. I thought I should have been more conflicted about it, but wasn't. Turns out it broke his nose. He was eventually expelled, but no charges were ever laid on him.

I think that qualifies for the purpose of "worst thing broken", as there's not much worse than a rapist.


This is a good post.
 
2018-01-13 08:45:48 PM  
I broke a lot of bones in my life, but the most painful was my nose. And the painful part wasn't breaking it, but getting it fixed. That was horrid.
 
2018-01-13 08:47:32 PM  
My mom and dad had a large mirror with painted flamingos, which they bought in Miami in the 40s. It was kind of a mid century icon.

I grew up with it on their living room wall. When they moved, they took it with them to NC.

5 years ago, I tried mounting it on a wall. It's a good thing both mom and dad have passed, because they would have died when it hit the ground and shattered into a million pieces.
 
2018-01-13 08:49:50 PM  
My sister's scalp. 17 stitches after I hit her in the head with a camp shovel when she was 4 years old and I was 5.
 
2018-01-13 08:54:47 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: scalp. 17 stitches


I had 17 scalp stitches as a 6 year old.

It's a lot of damned stitches.

In my case, it was my own fault. I stood up under a big rusty metal tab that I knew was there.

The bonus was my sister screaming, "Roman split his head open and his brains are leaking!" at my mom.

/I hadn't.
//they weren't
 
2018-01-13 09:02:08 PM  

Roman Fyseek: Bathia_Mapes: scalp. 17 stitches

I had 17 scalp stitches as a 6 year old.

It's a lot of damned stitches.

In my case, it was my own fault. I stood up under a big rusty metal tab that I knew was there.

The bonus was my sister screaming, "Roman split his head open and his brains are leaking!" at my mom.

/I hadn't.
//they weren't


I hit my little sister because she threw my brand new doll (birthday present) in the cesspool because I wouldn't let her play with it as she was very destructive with her own dolls and toys.

I got my ass beat too once my folks got back from the ER.
 
2018-01-13 09:02:27 PM  

Dance Party: Zeb Hesselgresser: Ulna and Radius. That hurt.

Ow.  Did you have surgery?  Like the titanium rod?

I had that for the ulna I broke.  Looked like a broken chicken leg bone.


Nope, pretty basic repair. The top one was compound, bottom just broke. Right in the middle of both.

Nurse held my elbow, Doc pulled out on my wrist with one hand, pressed the bones back in-line with the other. No pins, plates or screws.
 
2018-01-13 09:02:28 PM  
My heart.
 
2018-01-13 09:02:33 PM  
A sunfish sailboat (i.e: one of these):

img.fark.netView Full Size


I was about six or seven and shouldn't have been allowed to take it out alone. I took it into water shallow enough to run aground and capsized it. The daggerboard and rudder were broken, mast was bent, and the hull was damaged beyond repair.
 
2018-01-13 09:04:40 PM  
For a second there I thought Fyseek was Mapes sister. Awkward.
 
2018-01-13 09:06:28 PM  
A truck in the Army when I was stationed in Germany. You were supposed to have a fire extinguisher. We didn't. It caught on fire and burned. While we stood there, watching our NJP from hell taking shape, I said "Hey, where do they keep records of what we had?", my buddy said "It's only in the logbook, as far as I know, in the glovebox". "And that's it?" "Yep". So I opened the glovebox and tossed the log book on the worst part of the fire. Crisis averted.

Competing with - dumping a big bottle of Photoflo into a pump-driven fountain in Munich. The resulting suds-a-palooza vapor locked the pump and it burned out.
 
2018-01-13 09:07:13 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: I hit my little sister because she threw my brand new doll (birthday present) in the cesspool because I wouldn't let her play with it as she was very destructive with her own dolls and toys.


Thinking back, I never once, on purpose, destroyed something of my sister's, and I can't think of a single thing she destroyed of mine.

There's a family tale of me breaking my sister's disney trinket dish  when I was two, but, come on. That's hardly my fault. Nancy would have been 8. I'll bet she broke it and just blamed me to see if she could score an unbroken dish.

But, my sister and I got in plenty of fist fights. That's how I know that I can punch a chick in the tit and put her out of the game for enough time to run away.
 
2018-01-13 09:07:36 PM  

Zeb Hesselgresser: Ulna and Radius. That hurt.


I broke both of those while sledding. I was probably 11 or 12, and all the cool older kids had taken the trucks off their skateboards and were snowboarding down the hill at Sevier Park. I didn't have a skateboard, but I did have one of those cheapo plastic tub sleds. I wanted to be cool too, so I stood up on it, and went down. Made it all the way to the bottom perfectly, but as I slowed down on the flat ground beneath the hill, I just kinda...fell off to the side. Landed on my left hand, and heard/felt that deep shattering feeling. I knew it was broken. So I was in slight shock, sitting there gathering my wits, when an asshole teenager from down the street ran up and asked if I was okay. "No," I told him, "I broke my arm!". He paused, and then asked if he could have my sled then.
So I trudged back to the house, towing my sled with my non-gimp arm.
We had an old family friend over, a charming Brit (Songwriter, he wrote "long cool women in a black dress, among others) who told me filthy English jokes as we waited for the doctors. Then a guy came in, to explain how the bone setter was going to realign my arm. He held up my wrist, and said "okay, the doc will be here soon. He's gonna take your hand and do something like....THIS" as he twisted and popped the bones back in place. F*cker had led me on! Said afterwards that if patients knew the twist was coming, they'd tense up and it wouldn't align correctly. He was a subtle doc, but clever.
 
2018-01-13 09:11:28 PM  

italie: For a second there I thought Fyseek was Mapes sister. Awkward.


lulz
 
2018-01-13 09:11:35 PM  
Disclaimer: That tit punch thing might only work on developing teen girls, so careful who you punch.
 
2018-01-13 09:12:44 PM  

Roman Fyseek: Disclaimer: That tit punch thing might only work on developing teen girls, so careful who you punch.


Seems like you, too, were a fountaineer, same town.
 
2018-01-13 09:13:24 PM  
I broke a company

Long story short, I was trying to make a backup script that deleted the old version and used del and not rmdir, after deleting the backup it progressed to deleting c:\

That was their everything server and they had no backups copied to their backup server.

Fortunately I stopped the deleting before it got too far, but it did enough damage that it took them down for a week and the server os had to be reinstalled
 
2018-01-13 09:15:49 PM  
a prototype BeO heat sink substrate package made for Bell. i went to slide the piece into a plastic bag and some a-hole had very neatly cut the other bag end. so it slid through and smashed on the floor in front of a VP. i was surprised i was not fired. value $5k.
 
2018-01-13 09:21:53 PM  

Roman Fyseek: Bathia_Mapes: I hit my little sister because she threw my brand new doll (birthday present) in the cesspool because I wouldn't let her play with it as she was very destructive with her own dolls and toys.

Thinking back, I never once, on purpose, destroyed something of my sister's, and I can't think of a single thing she destroyed of mine.

There's a family tale of me breaking my sister's disney trinket dish  when I was two, but, come on. That's hardly my fault. Nancy would have been 8. I'll bet she broke it and just blamed me to see if she could score an unbroken dish.

But, my sister and I got in plenty of fist fights. That's how I know that I can punch a chick in the tit and put her out of the game for enough time to run away.


My sister and I fought like cats and dogs when we were kids. Sometimes I wonder how we survived childhood.


A couple of years later when I was 7 and my sister was 6 she threw my new doll buggy (again, a birthday gift) into the mud after I wouldn't let her play with it. I went to kick her, meaning to get her in the knee, but she put her hand down. I was wearing saddle oxfords and when I kicked her hand I gave her a hairline fracture between the thumb and forefinger.

Didn't get a whipping that time because my folks had made it quite clear since the incidence with the shovel that I didn't have to share my toys with her unless I wanted to because of her destructiveness.
 
2018-01-13 09:24:27 PM  

italie: For a second there I thought Fyseek was Mapes sister. Awkward.


Thankfully for him, he's not
 
2018-01-13 09:25:20 PM  
I'll have to ask my older sister.  She never forgets anything I ever did as a child and makes sure to tell everyone stories over the holidays.  :-|
 
2018-01-13 09:25:47 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Roman Fyseek: Bathia_Mapes: I hit my little sister because she threw my brand new doll (birthday present) in the cesspool because I wouldn't let her play with it as she was very destructive with her own dolls and toys.

Thinking back, I never once, on purpose, destroyed something of my sister's, and I can't think of a single thing she destroyed of mine.

There's a family tale of me breaking my sister's disney trinket dish  when I was two, but, come on. That's hardly my fault. Nancy would have been 8. I'll bet she broke it and just blamed me to see if she could score an unbroken dish.

But, my sister and I got in plenty of fist fights. That's how I know that I can punch a chick in the tit and put her out of the game for enough time to run away.

My sister and I fought like cats and dogs when we were kids. Sometimes I wonder how we survived childhood.


A couple of years later when I was 7 and my sister was 6 she threw my new doll buggy (again, a birthday gift) into the mud after I wouldn't let her play with it. I went to kick her, meaning to get her in the knee, but she put her hand down. I was wearing saddle oxfords and when I kicked her hand I gave her a hairline fracture between the thumb and forefinger.

Didn't get a whipping that time because my folks had made it quite clear since the incidence with the shovel that I didn't have to share my toys with her unless I wanted to because of her destructiveness.


I do hope your sister lived to see puberty.
 
2018-01-13 09:26:28 PM  
But as an adult, just my ankle.
 
2018-01-13 09:29:51 PM  

italie: Bathia_Mapes: Roman Fyseek: Bathia_Mapes: I hit my little sister because she threw my brand new doll (birthday present) in the cesspool because I wouldn't let her play with it as she was very destructive with her own dolls and toys.

Thinking back, I never once, on purpose, destroyed something of my sister's, and I can't think of a single thing she destroyed of mine.

There's a family tale of me breaking my sister's disney trinket dish  when I was two, but, come on. That's hardly my fault. Nancy would have been 8. I'll bet she broke it and just blamed me to see if she could score an unbroken dish.

But, my sister and I got in plenty of fist fights. That's how I know that I can punch a chick in the tit and put her out of the game for enough time to run away.

My sister and I fought like cats and dogs when we were kids. Sometimes I wonder how we survived childhood.


A couple of years later when I was 7 and my sister was 6 she threw my new doll buggy (again, a birthday gift) into the mud after I wouldn't let her play with it. I went to kick her, meaning to get her in the knee, but she put her hand down. I was wearing saddle oxfords and when I kicked her hand I gave her a hairline fracture between the thumb and forefinger.

Didn't get a whipping that time because my folks had made it quite clear since the incidence with the shovel that I didn't have to share my toys with her unless I wanted to because of her destructiveness.

I do hope your sister lived to see puberty.


Oh, she's still very much alive & celebrated her 64th birthday in December. Sadly she went blind a few years ago.
 
2018-01-13 09:33:13 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: My sister's scalp. 17 stitches after I hit her in the head with a camp shovel when she was 4 years old and I was 5.


My middle sis and I often got into fights when we were little. I'm 14.5 months older and we often got into fights she started because she wanted to use toys meant for someone older. Our youngest sis started even worse fights over toys and would go crying to our mom whenever we hit back.
 
2018-01-13 09:35:10 PM  

Kouta: Bathia_Mapes: My sister's scalp. 17 stitches after I hit her in the head with a camp shovel when she was 4 years old and I was 5.

My middle sis and I often got into fights when we were little. I'm 14.5 months older and we often got into fights she started because she wanted to use toys meant for someone older. Our youngest sis started even worse fights over toys and would go crying to our mom whenever we hit back.


Yup

Sister and I are 15 months apart.
 
2018-01-13 09:39:38 PM  
I'm truly astonished that my own kids never got into actual fistfights. Or, they hid it really well. Either is fine by me, really.
 
2018-01-13 09:59:11 PM  
As a kid, I broke my mom's favorite pottery planter. She kept it inside and only ever placed plastic flowers in it. She was very fond of it as it had a cute little face so she named it "Burbank." It sat on top of the console stereo cabinet for years and got knocked over by the cat chasing a string I was pulling around the room and over the furniture. I tried to blame the cat - no dice.

She fixed it up some but you could still tell it was damaged and that always bothered her. She was still bringing that up during my visits home years after college.

Fast forward 40 years. My folks would winter in Arizona and Burbank lived down there full time.  Dad was starting to fail and knew he wouldn't be up for traveling south for winters anymore and told mom she ought to decide what she wanted to take home. Mom, being a bit of the ignore-it-and-it-will-go-away sort, didn't take Dad too seriously. Sure enough, he put the place up for sale a few months later along with everything they had left behind including little Burbank.

That was typical dad, no patience to take care of the details. No matter that I had all kinds of friends there who could have held onto their stuff a bit longer until I moved it for them. Dad abandoned artwork (even stuff my artist mom had painted), Christmas heirlooms, furniture, and a number of things mom wanted to keep not to mention stuff I or my sister would have kept.

So my breaking the guy was eclipsed by his being deserted in Arizona. Hopefully he found a new home on someone's patio where he could feel the heat and watch the scorpions go by.

Mom still misses him.
 
2018-01-13 10:47:59 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Kouta: Bathia_Mapes: My sister's scalp. 17 stitches after I hit her in the head with a camp shovel when she was 4 years old and I was 5.

My middle sis and I often got into fights when we were little. I'm 14.5 months older and we often got into fights she started because she wanted to use toys meant for someone older. Our youngest sis started even worse fights over toys and would go crying to our mom whenever we hit back.

Yup

Sister and I are 15 months apart.


I'm also a 5'11" tall woman. That pretty much makes you taller than more than half of all adult men from anywhere worldwide.
 
2018-01-13 11:05:57 PM  

Kouta: Bathia_Mapes: Kouta: Bathia_Mapes: My sister's scalp. 17 stitches after I hit her in the head with a camp shovel when she was 4 years old and I was 5.

My middle sis and I often got into fights when we were little. I'm 14.5 months older and we often got into fights she started because she wanted to use toys meant for someone older. Our youngest sis started even worse fights over toys and would go crying to our mom whenever we hit back.

Yup

Sister and I are 15 months apart.

I'm also a 5'11" tall woman. That pretty much makes you taller than more than half of all adult men from anywhere worldwide.


I'm not even 5' tall. :/
 
2018-01-13 11:17:38 PM  
The speed of smell.
 
2018-01-13 11:26:55 PM  
The time my brother tried making peanut butter cups in the microwave.  Using a plastic margarine cup to melt the ingredients.  For something like nine minutes.

I tried to take some of the blame for the fire, and my parents just let it go.
 
2018-01-13 11:35:24 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Kouta: Bathia_Mapes: Kouta: Bathia_Mapes: My sister's scalp. 17 stitches after I hit her in the head with a camp shovel when she was 4 years old and I was 5.

My middle sis and I often got into fights when we were little. I'm 14.5 months older and we often got into fights she started because she wanted to use toys meant for someone older. Our youngest sis started even worse fights over toys and would go crying to our mom whenever we hit back.

Yup

Sister and I are 15 months apart.

I'm also a 5'11" tall woman. That pretty much makes you taller than more than half of all adult men from anywhere worldwide.

I'm not even 5' tall. :/


One of my maternal grandmothers is less than 5' tall. My dad is 5'9" and I was taller than him when I was twelve.
 
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