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(KPTV Portland)   Thieves steal a 400-pound ramp from a business in NE Portland. That will buy a lot of Sloe Gin Fizzes   ( kptv.com) divider line
    More: Strange, 400-pound aluminum ramp, East Side Van, northeast Portland location, Northeast Airport Way, Crime, KPTV-KPDX Broadcasting Corporation, Portland Police Bureau, debit card  
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2459 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2018 at 5:20 PM (9 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-01-12 03:11:42 PM  
If that ain't reachin', I'll tell you what is, Subby.
 
2018-01-12 03:51:26 PM  
Most people don't have the inclination to be a ramp thief.
 
2018-01-12 05:21:24 PM  
When they get that big they're not tender anymore.  And they aren't even in season for at least 3 months.
 
2018-01-12 05:24:48 PM  
I don't get it.

/live in Portland
 
2018-01-12 05:26:41 PM  

Solid State Vittles: I don't get it.

/live in Portland


steal ramp, sell it for scrap, buy meth
 
2018-01-12 05:29:09 PM  
If the ramp costs 1K the company, and it weighs 400lbs, but allunimuminuhmm can fetch 3$/lb...my math must be failing me here because this sounds like a couple of well-to-do venture capitalists freeing wealth from this obviously financially illiterate business owner.

bearded clamorer: Most people don't have the inclination to be a ramp thief.


img.fark.netView Full Size

 
2018-01-12 05:43:41 PM  

Solid State Vittles: I don't get it.

/live in Portland


Loretta Lynn and Jack White sang a duet on a song named 'Portland, Oregon"

Give it a listen.
 
2018-01-12 05:44:22 PM  
Is this.. I .. an onion? In the cocktail? That doesn't sound like a good idea.
 
2018-01-12 05:45:23 PM  

fmcgalaxie500: Solid State Vittles: I don't get it.

/live in Portland

Loretta Lynn and Jack White sang a duet on a song named 'Portland, Oregon"

Give it a listen.


Oh, yeah, I know that song. Now I get it!
 
2018-01-12 05:46:37 PM  
What an inclined plane might look like
(+1 upthread veggie reference)
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-01-12 05:46:40 PM  
It should be a rule to specify Portland, OR  or Portland, ME in fark headlines. Maine gets its fair share of FARK links, so it can be confusing.
 
2018-01-12 05:51:42 PM  
you do not put ramps in a sloe gin fizz.

or a ramos gin fizz, which is even more annoying.
 
2018-01-12 05:51:43 PM  
Al at $3/lb?
 
2018-01-12 05:56:04 PM  

Tater1337: Al at $3/lb?


Not even close.  Might get up to a dollar per pound for quality scrap, but that would be optimistic.

I think many scrap buyers are complicit in the thievery by not questioning where some of the shiat they buy comes from.  Fully functional ramp for scrap?  Sure!
 
2018-01-12 05:57:19 PM  

BumpInTheNight: If the ramp costs 1K the company, and it weighs 400lbs, but allunimuminuhmm can fetch 3$/lb...my math must be failing me here because this sounds like a couple of well-to-do venture capitalists freeing wealth from this obviously financially illiterate business owner.


Math is hard.

If two people made off with it, it doesn't weigh 400 pounds.
 
2018-01-12 06:01:29 PM  
I wonder what they're up to?
 
2018-01-12 06:03:48 PM  

jtown: BumpInTheNight: If the ramp costs 1K the company, and it weighs 400lbs, but allunimuminuhmm can fetch 3$/lb...my math must be failing me here because this sounds like a couple of well-to-do venture capitalists freeing wealth from this obviously financially illiterate business owner.

Math is hard.

If two people made off with it, it doesn't weigh 400 pounds.


And it won't get any $3 per pound.  Maybe 65 cents.
 
2018-01-12 06:07:21 PM  

Thenixon: Is this.. I .. an onion? In the cocktail? That doesn't sound like a good idea.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gibson_​(​cocktail)
 
2018-01-12 06:12:35 PM  

FDR Jones: Thenixon: Is this.. I .. an onion? In the cocktail? That doesn't sound like a good idea.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gibson_(​cocktail)


Reminds me of when I learned what a salty dog is.  It's a greyhound with salt on the rim.  And a greyhound is vodka and grapefruit juice.  So I guess a salty dog is a drink for people who think vodka and grapefruit juice isn't quite disgusting enough.
 
2018-01-12 06:13:58 PM  

jtown: FDR Jones: Thenixon: Is this.. I .. an onion? In the cocktail? That doesn't sound like a good idea.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gibson_(​cocktail)

Reminds me of when I learned what a salty dog is.  It's a greyhound with salt on the rim.  And a greyhound is vodka and grapefruit juice.  So I guess a salty dog is a drink for people who think vodka and grapefruit juice isn't quite disgusting enough.


Gin is the superior spirit for mixing with grapefruit juice.
 
2018-01-12 06:20:36 PM  

jtown: FDR Jones: Thenixon: Is this.. I .. an onion? In the cocktail? That doesn't sound like a good idea.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gibson_(​cocktail)

Reminds me of when I learned what a salty dog is.  It's a greyhound with salt on the rim.  And a greyhound is vodka and grapefruit juice.  So I guess a salty dog is a drink for people who think vodka and grapefruit juice isn't quite disgusting enough.


Well said.

I can't understand how people like grapefruit.  Maybe a really sweet red one.

/Hey, you like it, you eat it and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
//I love liverwurst.  Many don't.
///GOTO /
 
2018-01-12 06:22:32 PM  

Thenixon: Is this.. I .. an onion? In the cocktail? That doesn't sound like a good idea.


If you mean sloe gin fizz, maybe but I've never seen it.  But my old man LOVED cocktail onions in dry martinis.  Not my cup of gin.
 
2018-01-12 06:38:50 PM  
And now I have "Rag Doll" by Aerosmith in my head.
 
2018-01-12 06:49:14 PM  
I used to love sloe gin fizzles when I was a kid!

My mom wasn't the best parent.
 
2018-01-12 07:29:58 PM  

jtown: BumpInTheNight: If the ramp costs 1K the company, and it weighs 400lbs, but allunimuminuhmm can fetch 3$/lb...my math must be failing me here because this sounds like a couple of well-to-do venture capitalists freeing wealth from this obviously financially illiterate business owner.

Math is hard.

If two people made off with it, it doesn't weigh 400 pounds.


Two people could easily make off with 400lb.
 
2018-01-12 07:43:25 PM  

Massively Multiplayer Addict: It should be a rule to specify Portland, OR  or Portland, ME in fark headlines. Maine gets its fair share of FARK links, so it can be confusing.


Portland, OR, leads to confusion.

Some people read OR like the narrator from Rocky and Bullwinkle.
 
2018-01-12 08:24:13 PM  

NotThatGuyAgain: jtown: FDR Jones: Thenixon: Is this.. I .. an onion? In the cocktail? That doesn't sound like a good idea.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gibson_(​cocktail)

Reminds me of when I learned what a salty dog is.  It's a greyhound with salt on the rim.  And a greyhound is vodka and grapefruit juice.  So I guess a salty dog is a drink for people who think vodka and grapefruit juice isn't quite disgusting enough.

Well said.

I can't understand how people like grapefruit.  Maybe a really sweet red one.


I bet most people who like grapefruit can't really taste the bitter component.  Not supertasters or even regular tasters, perhaps.

I'm pretty sure I would love grapefruit if I could get past that intensely bitter flavor.  It's overwhelming.
 
2018-01-12 09:07:46 PM  

The Derp Stops Here: jtown: BumpInTheNight: If the ramp costs 1K the company, and it weighs 400lbs, but allunimuminuhmm can fetch 3$/lb...my math must be failing me here because this sounds like a couple of well-to-do venture capitalists freeing wealth from this obviously financially illiterate business owner.

Math is hard.

If two people made off with it, it doesn't weigh 400 pounds.

Two people could easily make off with 400lb.


Aluminum is a lightweight metal
400 lbs of iron would be way heavier
 
2018-01-13 06:09:28 AM  

Massively Multiplayer Addict: It should be a rule to specify Portland, OR  or Portland, ME in fark headlines. Maine gets its fair share of FARK links, so it can be confusing.


I agree. It's as if these west coast super-mega-ultra-libs think they're the only people in the country that count. It's as if if you don't have a manbun, you're third world.
 
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