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(NYPost)   Suspected friend of dead guy says his scratches came from a "fight club" - oh geez, it's the FIRST DAMN RULE   ( nypost.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Orange County, Warrant, Sheriff, student Blaze Bernstein, Police, high school friend, Borrego Park, Constable  
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3227 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2018 at 7:03 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-01-12 06:13:58 AM  
First rule of Fight Club:  Don't EVER tell Brad Pitt that he's Edward Norton...
 
2018-01-12 07:09:53 AM  
His name is Robert Paulson.
 
2018-01-12 07:11:52 AM  
This whole story is just weird.
 
2018-01-12 07:21:21 AM  
Nice headline

        
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2018-01-12 07:22:42 AM  
Too bad it's too early in the thread to insert the subliminal penis.
 
2018-01-12 07:26:57 AM  
Fight Club? More like Murder Club.
 
2018-01-12 07:26:59 AM  

Gr3asy: Too bad it's too early in the thread to insert the subliminal penis.


It's only detached.
 
2018-01-12 07:27:30 AM  

Gr3asy: Too bad it's too early in the thread to insert the subliminal penis.


That would lead to mayhem. Mayhem, I tell ya'.
 
2018-01-12 07:38:20 AM  
Suspected friend? So they're not sure if they were friends, but think they might have been.
 
2018-01-12 07:39:10 AM  
FTFA: "On their way out of Sheriff's Headquarters, (investigators) noticed every door (the friend) had to touch on the way out of the building he pulled his jacket over his hand to prevent his hand and fingers from touching any part of the doors he touched."

me thinks the friend knows a little more than he is claiming.
 
2018-01-12 07:40:31 AM  
This is a terribly sordid tale....
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2018-01-12 07:42:30 AM  

godxam: FTFA: "On their way out of Sheriff's Headquarters, (investigators) noticed every door (the friend) had to touch on the way out of the building he pulled his jacket over his hand to prevent his hand and fingers from touching any part of the doors he touched."

me thinks the friend knows a little more than he is claiming.


It's flu season.
 
2018-01-12 07:45:38 AM  
...and the second rule, too.

/pedant
 
2018-01-12 07:47:21 AM  

godxam: FTFA: "On their way out of Sheriff's Headquarters, (investigators) noticed every door (the friend) had to touch on the way out of the building he pulled his jacket over his hand to prevent his hand and fingers from touching any part of the doors he touched."

me thinks the friend knows a little more than he is claiming.


Or, it's an old habit waiting to die hard.

I do it all the time. Nasty people and their nasty germs. Cover my fingers when I open doors or push the cart at the store.

It's irrational but soothing.
 
2018-01-12 07:54:30 AM  
I believe that the weapon of choice in this fight club is penis.
 
2018-01-12 07:56:23 AM  
"Suspected friend of dead guy "

Dead guy?

No, listen to me. This is a man and he has a name, and it's Robert Paulson, okay?

Robert Paulson.
 
2018-01-12 08:30:33 AM  
I was suspected of being a friend once but it turned out we were just acquaintances.
 
2018-01-12 08:37:20 AM  
Um, not to be too callous, but the dead guy's name is "Blaze Bernstein."

Have they ruled out suicide due to extreme embarrassment?
 
2018-01-12 08:43:54 AM  

big pig peaches: Suspected friend? So they're not sure if they were friends, but think they might have been.


The police think they were friends and the suspects are keeping their mouths shut?
 
2018-01-12 08:45:09 AM  

godxam: FTFA: "On their way out of Sheriff's Headquarters, (investigators) noticed every door (the friend) had to touch on the way out of the building he pulled his jacket over his hand to prevent his hand and fingers from touching any part of the doors he touched."

me thinks the friend knows a little more than he is claiming.


That door handles are covered in germs?
 
2018-01-12 08:47:53 AM  

Rock Krenn: Um, not to be too callous, but the dead guy's name is "Blaze Bernstein."

Have they ruled out suicide due to extreme embarrassment?


I think redneck jew is a protected class
 
2018-01-12 08:49:46 AM  
a guy who claims to be in a fight club is also a germaphobe?  what an odd combo. Puddy?
 
2018-01-12 08:54:34 AM  
I am Jacks cold sweat.
 
2018-01-12 09:20:51 AM  
I watch some of those shows like forensic files and 48 hours and whatever and I see the stuff they use as evidence and it terrifies me.

If something ever happened to my ex-wife, I'm probably going to be the first person they look at. We still hang out once in a while so my fingerprints, hair etc are probably all over her house.

I also live alone so most of the time wouldn't have a verifiable alibi and I almost always have some sort of scratches on my arms or hands from playing with my dogs. I'd be so farked.
 
2018-01-12 09:21:53 AM  

Unikitty: godxam: FTFA: "On their way out of Sheriff's Headquarters, (investigators) noticed every door (the friend) had to touch on the way out of the building he pulled his jacket over his hand to prevent his hand and fingers from touching any part of the doors he touched."

me thinks the friend knows a little more than he is claiming.

Or, it's an old habit waiting to die hard.

I do it all the time. Nasty people and their nasty germs. Cover my fingers when I open doors or push the cart at the store.

It's irrational but soothing.


Yeah it could be a compulsive habit or it could be something else, its worth the police noting in their investigation but reporting it makes me thing they are trying to indicate who their lead suspect is.
 
2018-01-12 09:45:26 AM  
What kind of person has seen mud so infrequently that the closest their vocabulary comes is "dirt puddle"?  And what is a city inmate like that doing with camping gear?

Just send him back to nyc or whatever concrete hell he's from; cheaper than death row and otherwise about the same.
 
2018-01-12 09:49:57 AM  
I've never seen fight club. Every time i went to the video store & asked where it was, the clerk wouldnt tell me, said it was against the rules.

-shrug-
 
2018-01-12 10:15:19 AM  

Splinthar: Unikitty: godxam: FTFA: "On their way out of Sheriff's Headquarters, (investigators) noticed every door (the friend) had to touch on the way out of the building he pulled his jacket over his hand to prevent his hand and fingers from touching any part of the doors he touched."

me thinks the friend knows a little more than he is claiming.

Or, it's an old habit waiting to die hard.

I do it all the time. Nasty people and their nasty germs. Cover my fingers when I open doors or push the cart at the store.

It's irrational but soothing.

Yeah it could be a compulsive habit or it could be something else, its worth the police noting in their investigation but reporting it makes me thing they are trying to indicate who their lead suspect is.


Details like that certainly can break a case wide open. Initial reports had the kid as a witness but not a suspect. We'll see if that changes.
 
2018-01-12 10:25:39 AM  

Speef: What kind of person has seen mud so infrequently that the closest their vocabulary comes is "dirt puddle"?  And what is a city inmate like that doing with camping gear?

Just send him back to nyc or whatever concrete hell he's from; cheaper than death row and otherwise about the same.


Wow, usually on fark the elitist attitude comes from the city dwellers.
Kind of refreshing...I guess.
 
2018-01-12 10:29:21 AM  
That's what happens when you bring a bung hole to a penis fight.
 
2018-01-12 11:03:21 AM  

big pig peaches: godxam: FTFA: "On their way out of Sheriff's Headquarters, (investigators) noticed every door (the friend) had to touch on the way out of the building he pulled his jacket over his hand to prevent his hand and fingers from touching any part of the doors he touched."

me thinks the friend knows a little more than he is claiming.

It's flu season.


He had dirt under his nails according to law enforcement, so he didn't seem to care all that much about germs.   He probably didn't want to get the door handles dirty out of concern for others.
 
2018-01-12 11:05:07 AM  
Cops said the pal didn't know his girlfriend's last name.
The chum said...


He's not your chum, pal.
 
2018-01-12 11:07:58 AM  
What's the name of my girlfriend?  I dunno, but she's built like a brick! She's good to go!

/not obscureo
 
2018-01-12 11:30:58 AM  
Still hasn't broken number one rule of hipster club.
Deny being a hipster.
 
2018-01-12 12:43:15 PM  
God damn i wanna punch that face

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2018-01-12 01:39:58 PM  
I hate to be too hasty, but, the friend is guilty.
 
2018-01-12 02:51:53 PM  

abhorrent1: I watch some of those shows like forensic files and 48 hours and whatever and I see the stuff they use as evidence and it terrifies me.

If something ever happened to my ex-wife, I'm probably going to be the first person they look at. We still hang out once in a while so my fingerprints, hair etc are probably all over her house.

I also live alone so most of the time wouldn't have a verifiable alibi and I almost always have some sort of scratches on my arms or hands from playing with my dogs. I'd be so farked.


Yeah, I'm not leaping to conclusions on this one -- maybe the friend is guilty but it's amazing how bad you can make someone look by cherrypicking a few things. Nervous while being interviewed by the police? Hell yeah, I'd be nervous in that situation even if I were completely innocent. Maybe he's worried they'll find the drug stash in his house, maybe he's afraid his college girlfriend will find out he was cheating on her over winter break, maybe he's worried that whoever killed Bernstein might not be done yet. As for the scratches and dirt -- I'd need to see pictures. Some cops have some pretty fantasy-based definitions of what constitutes a "scratch". (OK, the fight club thing is definitely weird, but wouldn't the first step be to find out if it actually exists? Plus, even if he's lying, he wouldn't be the first person to panic and make up a dumb lie when he realizes he doesn't have an alibi for the time the crime was committed.

Doesn't know girlfriend's address and last name -- again, the thing here is to find her. A Tindr hookup, well, he might not know. He might have used his GPS to get to her house and blanked on the address afterward when he was panicking.

Like I said, I'm not in the tank for this guy's innocence, I know nothing about him. But I'd need to hear the answers to those questions, and a hell of a lot more, before convicting him.
 
2018-01-12 03:15:32 PM  

godxam: FTFA: "On their way out of Sheriff's Headquarters, (investigators) noticed every door (the friend) had to touch on the way out of the building he pulled his jacket over his hand to prevent his hand and fingers from touching any part of the doors he touched."

me thinks the friend knows a little more than he is claiming.


Or the police are lying so they can close a difficult case.  After so many lies and a huge false conviction problem, why would anyone believe what the police say?
 
2018-01-12 04:24:05 PM  

webron: godxam: FTFA: "On their way out of Sheriff's Headquarters, (investigators) noticed every door (the friend) had to touch on the way out of the building he pulled his jacket over his hand to prevent his hand and fingers from touching any part of the doors he touched."

me thinks the friend knows a little more than he is claiming.

Or the police are lying so they can close a difficult case.  After so many lies and a huge false conviction problem, why would anyone believe what the police say?


I would never voluntarily go to a police station to answer questions. Maybe....MAYBE, you can come to my house and talk to me. Most likely not without a lawyer though. But I'm not letting them lock me in a little room for 16 hours and use their Reid technique or whatever they call it to form questions in a way so my answers make me sound guilty.

Of course doing all those things makes you look more guilty to them so you can't win.
 
2018-01-12 06:00:33 PM  

abhorrent1: Maybe....MAYBE, you can come to my house and talk to me. Most likely not without a lawyer though.


This is my door mat.

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