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(Navy Times)   Going through life covered in shiat and throwing fireballs from your hands is no way to go through life son   ( navytimes.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, S. McCain collisions, smaller engineering spaces, Mims's stresses, engineering department, John McCain, engineering department engines, United States Navy, Royal Navy  
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4480 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2018 at 2:20 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2018-01-03 03:10:29 PM  
6 votes:
my fun "metnal health in the navy" story.....

my friend had a drinking problem.  got a DUI.  when he went to tell the captain, they were having a nice heart to heart dialogue, as he later told me.  "you know, the Navy can help you, we will do whatever we can to help, don't give up,", etc.  my friend was feeling very down int he dumps as it was his second time being in alcohol trouble.  he later tells us, "i said, 'maybe i shouldn't be here anymore'."  which in his mind, meant, "maybe the Navy isn't my thing."

the captain heard it differently.  Friend says he noticed the CO reach under the desk nonchalantly, and then 20-30 seconds later 2 security guys rush in and grab my friend.  they take him to the hospital, and then he spend like, 96 hours in the psych ward.  CO thought he was having suicidal ideation, not second guessing his career choice.

friend says it was dreadful.  eveyrbody except him was crazy - he kept insisting he was fine.  the doctor he had kept telling him his problme was, he wouldn't accept that he was gay.  friend is like "I'M NOT GAY, DAMMIT!  AND I'M NOT CRAZY!  LET ME OUT!"

i called him RP McMurphy but he never got the joke...
2018-01-03 02:40:32 PM  
6 votes:
But he will be starring in the Navy's version of "How to Not be Seen"
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-01-03 02:27:24 PM  
5 votes:

Im_Gumby: Not subby and DRTFA, but curious: How many of you would gladly accept the deal that you could legit launch 1D6 fireballs at will if you had feces on you?

/Would it be a Popeye kinda thing... apply poop, gain Fireball ability?


Does it have to be my own feces?
2018-01-03 02:22:20 PM  
5 votes:
Lightning Bolt!
Youtube j_ekugPKqFw
2018-01-03 12:54:01 PM  
5 votes:
Not subby and DRTFA, but curious: How many of you would gladly accept the deal that you could legit launch 1D6 fireballs at will if you had feces on you?

/Would it be a Popeye kinda thing... apply poop, gain Fireball ability?
2018-01-03 03:05:02 PM  
4 votes:
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
2018-01-03 02:49:13 PM  
4 votes:
"He was covered in urine and feces, and had a camelback, a multi-tool, Peeps candy and an empty peanut butter jar with him."

And the act was called "The Aristocrats"!
2018-01-03 02:44:01 PM  
4 votes:

rickythepenguin: sunderland56: > Mims, a gas turbine systems technician who was frocked to a petty officer third class

So, no gays in the military, but they're allowed to cross dress??

ha.  i've been out so long


media.giphy.comView Full Size
2018-01-03 02:29:40 PM  
4 votes:
Subby,
YOU FORGOT URINE!!!
/
urine urine.
//bad subby

img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-01-03 02:28:49 PM  
4 votes:
i0.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
2018-01-03 02:47:52 PM  
3 votes:

Im_Gumby: Not subby and DRTFA, but curious: How many of you would gladly accept the deal that you could legit launch 1D6 fireballs at will if you had feces on you?

/Would it be a Popeye kinda thing... apply poop, gain Fireball ability?


If I could throw the fireballs at the people who threw the poop at me, sure.
2018-01-03 02:44:54 PM  
3 votes:
Shooting fireballs from his hands you say?
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-01-03 02:37:09 PM  
3 votes:

BumpInTheNight: Im_Gumby: Not subby and DRTFA, but curious: How many of you would gladly accept the deal that you could legit launch 1D6 fireballs at will if you had feces on you?

/Would it be a Popeye kinda thing... apply poop, gain Fireball ability?

Does it have to be my own feces?


Which would be better... your own or someone else's?
dump
Youtube dWjjEM2o6L4
2018-01-03 02:33:25 PM  
3 votes:
> Mims, a gas turbine systems technician who was frocked to a petty officer third class

So, no gays in the military, but they're allowed to cross dress??
2018-01-03 08:00:33 PM  
2 votes:
"Hey, that dude that liked to explore all the back passages and compartments didn't show up for work today."
Navy: "Better search the ocean."
2018-01-03 05:43:22 PM  
2 votes:
Strange stuff goes on in the dark recesses of any ship--or so I've been told by my Navy relatives.

My brother's destroyer, when returning from the Caribbean, kept getting a sensor of some sort going off intermittently in a a compartment that was supposed to be sealed.  They kept checking and finding nothing all the way back to port.  They finally caught a sailor opening the hatch to feed lettuce to the three foot long iguana he was trying to smuggle back as a pet.
2018-01-03 03:19:59 PM  
2 votes:

To The Escape Zeppelin!: BumpInTheNight: Im_Gumby: Not subby and DRTFA, but curious: How many of you would gladly accept the deal that you could legit launch 1D6 fireballs at will if you had feces on you?

/Would it be a Popeye kinda thing... apply poop, gain Fireball ability?

Does it have to be my own feces?

Wouldn't that be preferable? I mean, unless you're into that sort of thing.


Where's your sense of adventure?!
2018-01-03 02:57:03 PM  
2 votes:

Im_Gumby: Not subby and DRTFA, but curious: How many of you would gladly accept the deal that you could legit launch 1D6 fireballs at will if you had feces on you?


Well, duh ... feces is a required component.

Fireball

Level: 3
School: Evocation
Components: V, S, M (a tiny ball of compressed bat guano and sulphur)
Range: 10" + 1"/level Casting Time: 3 segments
Duration: Instant Saving Throw: 1/2
Area: 2" radius sphere
2018-01-03 02:51:18 PM  
2 votes:

sunderland56: > Mims, a gas turbine systems technician who was frocked to a petty officer third class

So, no gays in the military, but they're allowed to cross dress??


oocities.orgView Full Size
2018-01-03 02:40:40 PM  
2 votes:

Im_Gumby: BumpInTheNight: Im_Gumby: Not subby and DRTFA, but curious: How many of you would gladly accept the deal that you could legit launch 1D6 fireballs at will if you had feces on you?

/Would it be a Popeye kinda thing... apply poop, gain Fireball ability?

Does it have to be my own feces?

Which would be better... your own or someone else's?
[Youtube dWjjEM2o6L4 image 480x360][Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/dWjjEM2o​6L4]


Can I pick who's it is?  How does it get applied to me?  Oh my the mind is racing right now!
2018-01-03 02:37:41 PM  
2 votes:
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
2018-01-03 02:33:11 PM  
2 votes:
Mims could have been apprehended prior to his discovery when another sailor spotted him in the middle of the night, days earlier. But that sailor just went back to sleep instead of sounding the alarm.

I bet that sailor was gently reprimanded and returned back to duty with no worries and high expectation for the rest of his career. I mean, it's an honest mistake, right?
2018-01-03 01:39:39 PM  
2 votes:
vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
2018-01-03 05:57:47 PM  
1 vote:

WyDave: Strange stuff goes on in the dark recesses of any ship--or so I've been told by my Navy relatives.


a Shopkeeper (job description:  basically keeps track of all the food that comes on the ship, among other things) swore that after a few months at sea, whenever the food shipments would come in, he'd get bribes for the watermelons, canteloupes, etc.

(you may allow your mind to wander here.....you may know where this is going.)

he said you pop it in the microwave for like, 30 seconds, core out a hole of a certain diameter (allow your mind to wander...) and....welp....perhaps not carnal bliss, but vegetative bliss.

i called bullshiat and he laughed out motherfarking loud.  "you don't get it, man, some guys go crazy underway.  i am not bullshiatting you, man.  100%.  that shiat happens.  we'd get all kinds of crazy offers on shiat.  'Here's $20 to look the other way because there's a 3 cases of beer on the next shipment', shiat like that.  dudes farking watermelons.  shiat goes on, man."
2018-01-03 05:01:14 PM  
1 vote:
Was it fly navy?
2018-01-03 04:49:29 PM  
1 vote:

TheChadnt: Your family didn't come in your seabag.


had a truly terrible LPO who terrorized our division.  i was taking college classes when i was in, and one day at muster the Chief asked for a quick "who's gonna be here in the afternoon?" head count for some project. I piped up that i had college that day.  LPO denies me leaving.  Chief overrules him.  Flustered LPO smirks, "just know that college didn't come with your seabag, Petty Officer [Ricky]."

not too long afterwards, we're mustering, and the LPO says at the end he had to leave early to go check on his Camaro at the shop (he had a pretty cherry old as 60s camaro).  I cracked, "did that Camaro come with your seabag?"  Huge laugh from the division;  even the chiefs and Div O were stifling laughter.  dude gave me the bruce lee death stare and i gave zero farks.


TheChadnt: My rate was eligible for 6 figure re-enlistment bonus (nuclear electronics technician) but I was done. Getting out was the best decision I ever made.


wow.  i think i was offered.........$17K?  $23?  (Sonar Tech).  I said no, college was my gameplan. and that was a million farking dollars at the time.  one third was a check upon signing, and then the other 2/3 were I think yearly bonuses on your reup date or some shiat. i had a few friends take the money:  "dude!  $6800 the day I sign?  hell yeah!"  me:  "yeah, but.....4 more years?  of this?  and another 4 reserve?  you might as well do your full 20, bro."

NOPE.  not me.  got out and ran.
2018-01-03 04:04:17 PM  
1 vote:
Sh*tku Hadoken!
2018-01-03 03:49:44 PM  
1 vote:

Glockenspiel Hero: Geez, read the linked article about morale aboard the Shiloh. The captain was hated in part because he'd stick sailors in the brig on bread and water for three days as a punishment for minor errors.

Surprised it didn't talk about him playing with a bunch of steel balls all the time.


Ooooohhhh...not good.  Those are empty carbs.
2018-01-03 02:39:45 PM  
1 vote:

sunderland56: > Mims, a gas turbine systems technician who was frocked to a petty officer third class

So, no gays in the military, but they're allowed to cross dress??


Umm...gay people can serve openly in the military....you may want to pay attention to older news
2018-01-03 02:37:24 PM  
1 vote:
I dunno, a lot of things in life would be easier if I threw fireballs.
2018-01-03 02:35:48 PM  
1 vote:
I once threw fireballs, I got banned from that bar.
2018-01-03 02:24:54 PM  
1 vote:
Also:
RED FANG - 'Prehistoric Dog' (Official Music Video)
Youtube VufilzHKTqk
 
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