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(CTV News)   Wow, it's cold. "HOW. COLD. IS IT?" It's so cold, Canadian towns are cracking open   ( ctvnews.ca) divider line
    More: Scary, Seismology, alberta beach, mayor Jim Benedict, Energy Regulator spokesman, Earthquake, nearby seismic stations, Alberta Geological Survey, initial information shows  
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10171 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2018 at 1:50 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2018-01-03 01:53:02 PM  
32 votes:
It was so cold, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
media.giphy.comView Full Size
2018-01-03 12:01:31 PM  
29 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size


With the wind chill factor, it's like -250.
2018-01-03 01:57:20 PM  
21 votes:

sleep lack: What a coincidence, I'm cracking open a cold one too.


Slow day at the morgue?
2018-01-03 01:52:03 PM  
19 votes:

bighairyguy: My brother's bedroom window exploded the other night from -17 cold.


The trip to Taco Bell that day was purely a coincidence.
2018-01-03 01:48:01 PM  
18 votes:

lindalouwho: bighairyguy: My brother's bedroom window exploded the other night from -17 cold.  He called the glass company and they wouldn't be able to come out until next week because there were over 100 people ahead of him on their exploded window fix list.  Also, they can't fix it until the temperature gets above freezing and stays there awhile.  Time to crank up the electric blanket.

Holy shiat!


I told him it wasn't the cold that broke the window, it was that bigfoot got a slingshot for Christmas.
2018-01-03 02:15:39 PM  
14 votes:

steklo: In the old days, we could post photos of witches' tits.

/just saying.


img.fark.netView Full Size


/Ducks
2018-01-03 01:52:17 PM  
8 votes:
What a coincidence, I'm cracking open a cold one too.
2018-01-03 02:15:41 PM  
7 votes:
Canadian Crack Town is the name of my Bare Naked Ladies Kazoo Band
2018-01-03 02:11:29 PM  
6 votes:

real_headhoncho: Tyrosine: It's not really cold until water mains start to freeze.

It is not really cold when your dog's peeing starts to freeze.


It's not really that cold until you bust a nut in your partners eye and it actually results in the loss of said eye
2018-01-03 03:06:24 PM  
5 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2018-01-03 02:23:21 PM  
5 votes:
at least it's a dry cold
2018-01-03 01:52:44 PM  
5 votes:
In the old days, we could post photos of witches' tits.

/just saying.
2018-01-03 12:59:29 PM  
5 votes:
I chuckled when I read "Alberta Beach". Calling your village a "beach", in northern Alberta, is a stretch for those of us in B.C. who actually have beaches.

/lives by a beach
//beaches biatches
/// three because reasons
2018-01-03 02:25:46 PM  
4 votes:
There was a nugget of gold in that video.
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2018-01-03 02:01:38 PM  
4 votes:
Ice Quakes and Cyclone Bombs.   What crazy name are they going to make up next.

Hey,  if the earth is shaking its because you    OVER   FRACKED   THE   GROUND!!!

FRACKING is stupid
2018-01-03 01:58:00 PM  
4 votes:
Ice quake?

Jim Cantore just masturbated until he passed out.
2018-01-03 01:57:04 PM  
4 votes:
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2018-01-03 01:56:17 PM  
4 votes:
Mysterious Big Bang was the nickname of my last blind date.
2018-01-03 09:19:05 PM  
2 votes:

Mergatroid: I've lived in Winnipeg for over 30 years.


I'm so sorry. If there's any way we can help please let us know.
2018-01-03 03:52:48 PM  
2 votes:
What Canada may look like:

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2018-01-03 02:39:45 PM  
2 votes:
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Yeah, but is it as cold as it is in the D?
2018-01-03 08:32:23 PM  
1 vote:

bearded clamorer: [img.fark.net image 425x238]

With the wind chill factor, it's like -250.


So, about 3º below Hillary?

/hey-ooo
//brrrrrrrrr
///brrr
2018-01-03 05:01:51 PM  
1 vote:

Dumski: I chuckled when I read "Alberta Beach". Calling your village a "beach", in northern Alberta, is a stretch for those of us in B.C. who actually have beaches.

/lives by a beach
//beaches biatches
/// three because reasons


I know you didn't ask, but since my family's from there...

In the heyday of remote spa retreats in the 1910s and 20s, Alberta Beach was born as a railbound getaway. It was a CN answer to the CP resorts. The name was meant to be a summertime enticement. There's actually a shocking amount of lakeland in Alberta, to the point where my Grandpa and his dad, along with, I'm told, a sizeable amount of people, actually made a living as fisherman. In Alberta! Wrap your head around that for a moment! (I still don't believe it, but I never met a better fisherman than my Grandpa, and he'd never even been to the ocean, as far as I know.)

Side note: Lots of poor Aboriginals, particularly Metis, live there permanently, since it was legally a "summer village" the land was cheap-as-free. That's why the Lac Ste. Anne pilgrimmage exists. That's basically a giant catholic mass, but in Cree. I have memories of  old ladies singing Cree hymns and it sounds at least three times as unpleasant as you could possibly imagine. If you took Nell Carter and tuned her about two keys flat and had her duet with Linda McCartney, you've got an approximation.

/everybody really goes to meet up with friends and family, and secretly drink together in trailers, since alcohol is forbidden.
//except my Grandma of course, the most religious religio that ever religioned...
///too bad my mom's family was JW, and taught me these were all evil sinners, doomed to death at armageddon...I wish I'd had a more anthropological mindset as a kid...
2018-01-03 03:16:24 PM  
1 vote:

bearded clamorer: [img.fark.net image 425x238]

With the wind chill factor, it's like -250.


Pfft Fahrenheit.
 
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