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(Slate)   "Dear Prudence: My friend Amy made a new friend, Mary, who is in a different financial situation that us. I can't stand her, and Amy keeps bringing her as a plus one. I am having a Christmas party; how can I ensure that Amy doesn't bring Mary?"   ( slate.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, dinner party, 2007 singles, cruel things, hurtful things, Mary, different financial bracket, friends, social media pages  
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921 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 14 Dec 2017 at 7:50 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-12-14 07:36:03 AM  
Don't invite Amy.

/Ta-daaa!
 
2017-12-14 07:43:15 AM  
Are these people adults or still in junior high?
 
2017-12-14 07:46:44 AM  
Dear Prudence,

I was beating my dog for having rabies when I realized how cruel I was being, so I threw the stick away; however, the dog just brought the stick back so I kept beating him for getting sick.  I don't own a gun and I cannot afford to euthanize the dog through a vet... and beating him seems a tedious process.  If I want to put him out of his misery cheaply and humanely, should I just wait for summer and leave him in the car in the parking lot with all the windows rolled up?  Will he still have rabies by next summer?  If not, why doesn't everyone just wait out rabies rather than killing innocent dogs?  It's not as if the disease is fatal.

Sincerely,

Fat No-hair Sitting in a Chair
 
2017-12-14 07:50:00 AM  
Fark Mary and make sure Amy knows.
 
2017-12-14 07:57:49 AM  
This is a long-winded way of saying stop bringing Mary over to mooch off my drugs.
 
2017-12-14 08:01:42 AM  
No room for Mary at the Christmas party?  Hmmm.
 
2017-12-14 08:01:51 AM  
Tell Amy there is no room at the inn for Mary.
Inn being invite.
 
2017-12-14 08:15:12 AM  
I guess there's something about Mary.
 
2017-12-14 08:15:26 AM  
have a 3-some and let everything get sorted out that way.

seems like the only logical solution
 
2017-12-14 08:18:58 AM  

Mr_Vimes: I guess there's something about Mary.


digitalspyuk.cdnds.netView Full Size


Agrees...
 
2017-12-14 08:29:09 AM  
I suggest going with honesty... Just say "Amy, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but Mary is a poor. And I know you've gotten it into your head that poors can make good friends and all, but really now... You're invited to my Christmas party, of course, but for god's sake don't bring Mary...it's bad enough that poors breath the same air we do without them being in sight too..."
 
2017-12-14 08:32:58 AM  
I think the post at the beginning is the best.
Also, you could put a sign on the wall across from your toilet that says "Nobody likes you Mary because she is poor!"
Or just stop being an A-hole
 
2017-12-14 08:42:41 AM  
Why do y'all think Mary is poor?  Could be she's one of those rich-beotches who loves to throw their husband's/sugar daddy's money in your face.  That type is obnoxious.
 
2017-12-14 08:43:27 AM  

czetie: Are these people adults or still in junior high?


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-14 08:47:41 AM  
There's definitely a snobbish, elitist tone to this letter. However, if Mary spends the majority of the time complaining about prices on the menu and how everything is so expensive, or if there's an expectation that she should be treated all the time, I can understand how that can become cumbersome.
 
2017-12-14 08:50:21 AM  

AllYourFarkAreBelongToMe: Why do y'all think Mary is poor?  Could be she's one of those rich-beotches who loves to throw their husband's/sugar daddy's money in your face.  That type is obnoxious.


Because when a rich person says "she is in a very different financial bracket than the rest of us ", that's their 'polite' way of saying someone is poor. She then goes on to say "The restaurants and events we choose to go to are pricey", so she's definitely commenting on her poorness.
 
2017-12-14 09:04:49 AM  
If you were a real friend, you'd hire Mary to clean up after the party.  She can't be a "guest" of she's "The help".
 
2017-12-14 09:14:34 AM  

Courtney Cox-Zucker: There's definitely a snobbish, elitist tone to this letter. However, if Mary spends the majority of the time complaining about prices on the menu and how everything is so expensive, or if there's an expectation that she should be treated all the time, I can understand how that can become cumbersome.


True, but that would definitely be in the letter.

If it was real, I mean, and not just a made-up letter for Prudence to show how great she is.
 
2017-12-14 09:23:36 AM  

squidloe: have a 3-some and let everything get sorted out that way.

seems like the only logical solution


And film it.
/for science of course.
 
2017-12-14 10:03:27 AM  
Just keep going to places she can't afford and the problem will work itself out naturally. Be sure to express shock and repeat that everyone BUT Mary wants to go there. Honor democracy.
 
2017-12-14 10:09:04 AM  
"He's your ex, and it's not your responsibility to make sure he has a good relationship with his mother. "

#2: Uh Prudence. In your rush condemn the ex-boyfriends mom did you read what the mom was asking? She is asking that if they are broken up that they brake up. No more of this "lets be friends". THE SAME EXACT THING YOU SAID.
 
2017-12-14 10:14:36 AM  
Invite Mary over.
Wag your health care policy in her face.
 
2017-12-14 10:27:52 AM  

AllYourFarkAreBelongToMe: Why do y'all think Mary is poor?  Could be she's one of those rich-beotches who loves to throw their husband's/sugar daddy's money in your face.  That type is obnoxious.


Because the use of the phraseology "... not in the same financial situation as us ...", while not definitive, is a pretty damn good indication of which way this situation goes.
 
2017-12-14 10:53:17 AM  
It's not even good advice for what I presume is a make-believe letter.

When there is someone in your life that you just can't tolerate, 90% of the problem is with you, not them. In this case, I'd wager 100% of the problem is that the letter "writer" can't accept people who are different, while Amy clearly can. This is well-trod sitcom territory (high society versus common people), so it's sort of sad to see it show up in an advice column in 2017 and the advice to be anything but, "Get over yourself, you harpy."
 
2017-12-14 10:54:44 AM  
The only way i can see that getting really annoying is if everyone else is expected to pitch in for Mary activities or if they start limiting activities to things that Mary can  afford.
 
2017-12-14 10:55:43 AM  

IcedTorch: The only way i can see that getting really annoying is if everyone else is expected to pitch in for Mary activities or if they start limiting activities to things that Mary can  afford.


"Money fight!!!!......oh....awkward...."
 
2017-12-14 11:00:28 AM  

Big Beef Burrito: IcedTorch: The only way i can see that getting really annoying is if everyone else is expected to pitch in for Mary activities or if they start limiting activities to things that Mary can  afford.

"Money fight!!!!......oh....awkward...."


Imagine having a diner out with friends to sushi that gets shifted into a mcdonalds run because one of the guys brought in another dude and he cant afford sushi. Once would be okay but if that kept happening i can see that getting annoying.
 
2017-12-14 11:21:12 AM  
SON OF A BISQUICK BISCUIT!!!!

So I usually do responses to these things.  Since Slate.com takes a huge crap in Chrome, I open it in an individual window, then pre-type my responses in wordpad/notepad.  This week I had my crap done, and it was eaten by a farking grue (I accidentally closed the notepad without saving), thus losing my long-crafted unfunny responses.  So this week it's going to be quick and dirty.  I'm no Akula, I'm no Pocket Ninja, but at least I'm putting in an effort.  bigfatbuddhist I am talking about you and the effort.  You seriously need to step up your game.

1) Don't be a stuck up snob.  Some people have money and choose to be cheap, she might be that way.  Why don't you spend the time to get to know her, the worst that happens is you become friends with a *gasp* poor.  Actually, I know the problem is that she's "urban" and it doesn't matter how much money she has in life, she will never be your social equal, so go get a dildo and love yourself.

2) Stop being friends with benefits.  Tell his mom to fark off.  Post many, many pictures of yourself with new boyfriends / friends online.  If he's going to be an online stalker, what's better, having him work his ass off to get your passwords / hack into your accounts to get the photos (which stalkers will see as a challenge) or make it easy so you can at least control what he does get access to.

3) Have him clean the house in nothing but your underwear.  Tell him he's the woman in the relationship now.  Push more and more chores on him until you have literally nothing but free time on your hands.  Then start dating other guys openly in front of him.  Now you don't have to break up, you have a live in maid who doesn't have time to spend your money AND you can get your freak on with anyone you want.  Literally win-win-win for you.

4) Have you ever considered he *ISN'T* gay, but actually likes you?  Ask him out on an official date, then when he's all excited, break his heart into a million pieces like the stone cold biatch you are.

5) Wow, yeah.  Just call her up and invite her to the local Denny's.  Start off slow by calmly reconnecting.  Then out of nowhere, possibly when the food arrives, lose your shiat.  Throw food, start yelling, call her abusive, physically and emotionally.  Show her how you are the bigger person who has moved on by throwing a burger at her while squirting ketchup everywhere.  People will automatically come to your side.  Sure it will be to hold you down until the police arrive, but now you have outed her behavior AND she isn't going to try and get retaliation.

6)  Yeah, I'm not the best person to ask about this.  I moved away from home to start college at 17 and kept going further and further away from my parental units.  Right now my mom lives in the same town, but I see her less than when she lived a few states away.  I consider that fully healthy.

That's all folks!  Remember to pester e-mail Akula until he's back from his Prudence Vacation.
 
2017-12-14 11:30:51 AM  

sillydragon: I suggest going with honesty... Just say "Amy, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but Mary is a poor. And I know you've gotten it into your head that poors can make good friends and all, but really now... You're invited to my Christmas party, of course, but for god's sake don't bring Mary...it's bad enough that poors breath the same air we do without them being in sight too..."


There is, in addition, the moral dimension. Poor people are Sinners in the Eyes of God. That's why they are poors, DUH! God is punishing them for their obvious character and skin color sins. Do you really want to associate with Sinners?
 
2017-12-14 12:49:03 PM  
Invite Mary to work as a maid during the party. She can bring out food and drinks and earn a bit of cash on the side, plus she can eat the leftovers! It'll be a good life lesson for her.

/best host evar
 
2017-12-14 12:50:30 PM  
Something tells me Amy and Mary would have a better time on their own than at the stuck-up letter writer's holiday gathering.  Lacking any real information that Mary is unpleasant, just has less money tells me who the bad guy is here. If you're annoyed that someone in your circle of friends (or friend's circle of friends) can't afford Ruth's Chris the problem is with you.
 
2017-12-14 02:08:02 PM  
Been dealing with something like this for the last couple of years, but it's not solely because of lack of funds. It's that she spends her time with the group trying to catch everyone up on her drama and how lousy her life is.  Add in her transitioning girlfriend who doesn't interact with anyone and is constantly going outside to vape, and I've just quit inviting them to any events.  The problem is that they show up anyway because of the circle of friends.  Apparently she shepherded my brother-in-law through some tough times when he lived in Houston, so she gets a pass from him.

I only mentioned the transitioning because that's part of the drama. Nobody has a problem with it - but it can't be all you talk about *when* you actually say something.

/it's a party - at least act like you're having fun!
//and don't show up late, eat, and leave
 
2017-12-14 05:28:17 PM  
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Amy tells me that she's gonna beat me up.

/got nuffin
 
2017-12-14 05:45:55 PM  
Dear Prudy needs a nuke shoved up her ****.
 
2017-12-14 06:40:42 PM  
None of these problems would occur if everyone became a hermit.
 
2017-12-14 07:29:10 PM  
Dear snob

Eat this
 
2017-12-15 11:55:19 AM  
You'll gave to kill them both. If you have an issue with that, just eat a few zoloft and it'l all be over before you know it.
 
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