Mozzarella and Provolone... but that's the Italian in me.

wanna see my salami?

I gouda say I don't give edam which cheese it is. I like them all.


Damn! I didn't notice there was voting!

La Vache Qui Rit. Why the French ain't so bad (plus, they did give us Andre the Giant)

kraft the orange kind

head cheese

For snacking, smoked gouda.

On a sammich, baby swiss.

My name is Brie. And yeah, I guess I'd have to say I'm my favorite cheese.

Post nude cheese pics plz

I guess there isn't anything newsworthy happening anywhere on the planet.

(muster (sp?))

Jalapeno Havarti. A wonderful treat.... or goat cheese baked onto french bread slices until nice and gooey and a bit brown with a teaspoon of pesto sauce added on top afterwards.

/drooling

Leberkaese

/not really

No Yo Cheese

Frumunda cheese.

You that cheese from under a girls skirt.

a vote for me is a vote for communist cheese

Port Salut...mmmmmmmmmm. A little bit on some crackers.
And one of those sharp cheddar/stilton mixes...mmm.
I'm going to the store.

American (deli sliced, not the kraft singles kind), Cheddar or Mozerella...With those three, anything wonderful is possible.

what dickcheese decided that this wasn't safe for work?

Stinky Cheese

/Dave Grohl

Blue cheese in salad
Brie melted over panini
Havarti with herbs

anything french
stinky? yes please
gooey? yes please
both? mo' betta

best eaten after a dinner heavy in garlic with another bottle of wine

/hungry

Provolone, baby!

Havarti

No Cheese.

/Lactose Intolerant.

Okay, dickcheese has been taken, so I will go for The Cheese With No Name!
It's French, red on the outside, white on the inside, conical in shape, and kicks like a mule.
Problem is, I only know one restaurant (La Grillade, Leeds, West Yorkshire) that has it.

Venezuelan Beaver Cheese

I love the smell of Fromunda cheese.

2004-06-05 11:54:25 AM forditude
what dickcheese decided that this wasn't safe for work?

I dont know where you work, but around here cheese'll get you canned faster than you can say 'its brie time, baby'...

Wow, I have to put down for provolone, because there's not enough provo-love on the thread...

An entire brick of Velveeta melted on top of extra thick macaroni noodles.

Extra gooey Mac and Cheese, powered by Velveeta. The dinner of champions.

And if you can't finish it in the evening, it makes a great breakfast.

Return to Monty Python home page

(a customer walks in the door)

Customer: Good Morning.

Owner: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!

Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man.

Owner: What can I do for you, Sir?

Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through Rogue Herrys by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish.

Owner: Peckish, sir?

Customer: Esuriant.

Owner: Eh?

Customer: 'Ee, ah wor 'ungry-loike!

Owner: Ah, hungry!

Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!

Owner: Come again?

Customer: I want to buy some cheese.

Owner: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!

Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!

Owner: Sorry?

Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too!

Owner: So he can go on playing, can he?

Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.

Owner: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?

Customer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.

Owner: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.

Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?

Owner: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.

Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.

Owner: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.

Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?

Owner: Sorry, sir.

Customer: Red Windsor?

Owner: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.

Customer: Ah. Stilton?

Owner: Sorry.

Customer: Ementhal? Gruyere?

Owner: No.

Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.

Owner: No.

Customer: Lipta?

Owner: No.

Customer: Lancashire?

Owner: No.

Customer: White Stilton?

Owner: No.

Customer: Danish Brew?

Owner: No.

Customer: Double Goucester?

Owner: No.

Customer: Cheshire?

Owner: No.

Customer: Dorset Bluveny?

Owner: No.

Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson?

Owner: No.

Customer: Camenbert, perhaps?

Owner: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir.

Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent.

Owner: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...

Customer: Oh, I like it runny.

Owner: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.

Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!

Owner: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.

Customer: I don't care how farking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.

Owner: Oooooooooohhh........!

Customer: What now?

Owner: The cat's eaten it.

Customer: Has he.

Owner: She, sir.

(pause)

Customer: Gouda?

Owner: No.

Customer: Edam?

Owner: No.

Customer: Case Ness?

Owner: No.

Customer: Smoked Austrian?

Owner: No.

Customer: Japanese Sage Darby?

Owner: No, sir.

Customer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you?

Owner: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got--

Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.

Owner: Fair enough.

Customer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.

Owner: Yes?

Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!

Owner: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.

(pause)

Customer: Greek Feta?

Owner: Uh, not as such.

Customer: Uuh, Gorgonzola?

Owner: no

Customer: Parmesan,

Owner: no

Customer: Mozarella,

Owner: no

Customer: Paper Cramer,

Owner: no

Customer: Danish Bimbo,

Owner: no

Customer: Czech sheep's milk,

Owner: no

Customer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

Owner: Not *today*, sir, no.

(pause)

Customer: Aah, how about Cheddar?

Owner: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.

Customer: Not much ca-- it's the single most popular cheese in the world!

Owner: Not 'round here, sir.

Customer: and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah?

Owner: 'Illchester, sir.

Customer: IS it.

Owner: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.

Customer: Is it.

Owner: It's our number one best seller, sir!

Customer: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh?

Owner: Right, sir.

Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.

Owner: I'll have a look, sir...
.....nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.

Customer: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?

Owner: Finest in the district!

Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.

Owner: Well, it's so clean, sir!

Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese....

Owner: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.

Customer: Would it be worth it?

Owner: Could be....

Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!

Owner: Told you sir....

Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?

Owner: No.

Customer: Figures.Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:

Owner: Yessir?

Customer: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all.

Owner: Yes, sir.

Customer: Really?

(pause)

Owner: No. Not really, sir.

Customer: You haven't.

Owner: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.

Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.

Owner: Right-Oh, sir.

(The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner)

Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life.

vjp, finest in the district.

GIS: cheese sex

THERE! That can be NSFW. Finally something in this thread to qualify.

NOONE SAID THE OBVIOUS..........
NACHO CHEESE!!! Because it's mine, nachos (not yours).....

/rimshot
//got nothing

AM libat
Guiness Cheddar!
It's tough to find and a bit expensive, but DAMN! Great stuff!

---------------------------------------------------------
Anyone know where I can find the stuff?

Thanks...
jh

A bit late to the game but ...

Maytag Blue!

Turkish Penir.
awkward name, great taste

Tasmanian.

Any type of goat cheese with a warm baguette gets me going.

manchega

Baked brie

80s New Wave

BROADWAY cheese!

It's spelled "Guinness", BTW...Someone should create a website with some sort of amusing flash animation that teaches people how to spell Guinness. Think of the children!