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(Newsweek)   If you're a futurist and you've just got to kill yourself, you simply must go with the Elon Musk-style of suicide machine, because honestly, those other suicide machines just aren't as innovative or stylish   ( newsweek.com) divider line
    More: Weird, Nitschke, death machine, famous euthanasia proponent, latest death machine, Dr. Philip Nitschke, Sarco, Dr. Jack Kevorkian, young medical school  
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2355 clicks; posted to Geek » on 01 Dec 2017 at 5:58 PM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2017-12-01 04:10:10 PM  
"Meet the Elon Musk of Assisted Suicide, Whose Machine Lets You Kill Yourself Anywhere"

A gun?

/Or a pair of nail clippers and a can-do attitude
 
2017-12-01 05:47:51 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-01 06:00:47 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-12-01 06:01:24 PM  
Because really, somebody had to. The first two posts were a complete disappointment!
 
2017-12-01 06:03:33 PM  

Snarfangel: Because really, somebody had to. The first two posts were a complete disappointment!



img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-12-01 06:10:51 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2017-12-01 06:28:38 PM  
If you need to kill yourself and can't find a way, easily, I have never been there. Could do it now with what's in my toiletry bag and the handle of Evan on the dresser, feel like making a mess? Utility knife has some fresh blades. Get really sloppy? Could go at my neck weth a chefs knife. Why is this ever needed?
 
2017-12-01 07:02:26 PM  

chitownmike: If you need to kill yourself and can't find a way, easily, I have never been there. Could do it now with what's in my toiletry bag and the handle of Evan on the dresser, feel like making a mess? Utility knife has some fresh blades. Get really sloppy? Could go at my neck weth a chefs knife. Why is this ever needed?


As an example, I had a friend in California whose colon cancer metastasized, by the time she gave up on treatments, she could barely stand up, couldn't grip a knife or pull the trigger on a gun. Fortunately, she was able to hold down the button on her pain meds dispenser, which had just been reloaded.
 
2017-12-01 07:03:04 PM  
We're finally being honest about the hyperloop?
 
2017-12-01 07:06:45 PM  
A large balloon filled with argon from a welding supply shop.
 
2017-12-01 07:21:12 PM  
You are now dead.
Please take your receipt.
 
2017-12-01 07:36:24 PM  
That's a little to high-tech for me. If that day ever comes, I'll opt for the elegant simplicity of a big-ass shark.
 
2017-12-01 07:52:02 PM  

natazha: chitownmike: If you need to kill yourself and can't find a way, easily, I have never been there. Could do it now with what's in my toiletry bag and the handle of Evan on the dresser, feel like making a mess? Utility knife has some fresh blades. Get really sloppy? Could go at my neck weth a chefs knife. Why is this ever needed?

As an example, I had a friend in California whose colon cancer metastasized, by the time she gave up on treatments, she could barely stand up, couldn't grip a knife or pull the trigger on a gun. Fortunately, she was able to hold down the button on her pain meds dispenser, which had just been reloaded.


Eh, I would have checked out well before that and my point was that being able to do yourself is as easy as looking around the room and having the urge to do so.
Sorry about your friend
 
2017-12-01 07:52:42 PM  
Can I ride through mansions of glory with it?
 
2017-12-01 08:21:52 PM  

chitownmike: natazha: chitownmike: If you need to kill yourself and can't find a way, easily, I have never been there. Could do it now with what's in my toiletry bag and the handle of Evan on the dresser, feel like making a mess? Utility knife has some fresh blades. Get really sloppy? Could go at my neck weth a chefs knife. Why is this ever needed?

As an example, I had a friend in California whose colon cancer metastasized, by the time she gave up on treatments, she could barely stand up, couldn't grip a knife or pull the trigger on a gun. Fortunately, she was able to hold down the button on her pain meds dispenser, which had just been reloaded.

Eh, I would have checked out well before that and my point was that being able to do yourself is as easy as looking around the room and having the urge to do so.
Sorry about your friend


Yeah, but you can feel fine, then get a bit sick "I'll just take a nap" Wake up days later, much sicker, on the floor. Dead within a week, not a good week. Seen it happen to a close family member.
 
2017-12-01 08:46:52 PM  
Can we have some sort of warning for auto-play videos? Maybe include APV in the headline?  I turned the sound on my computer off because I have a cat on my lap and the site turned it back on. This scared the cat and left me bleeding.

/suicide by cat + APV?
 
2017-12-01 09:05:16 PM  
I was really hoping for something like the NOPE satellite.
 
2017-12-01 09:20:31 PM  
From "An Altogether New Book of Top Ten Lists", David Letterman, circa 1991.

TOP TEN OTHER INVENTIONS BY THE SUICIDE MACHINE DOCTOR

10. The Craftmatic Adjustable Groin-Puller
9. The Mesh Parachute
8. Clorox Coladas
7. The Rickety Ladder
6. The Recipe for New Coke
5. The Steel-Bristle Retina Brush
4. The Frayed Asbestos Handkerchief
3. The Tub Toaster
2. The Denny's All-You-Can-Eat Seafood Special
1. The Popeil Pocket Suicide Machine
 
2017-12-01 10:01:13 PM  

Streetwise Hercules: the elegant simplicity of a big-ass shark.


Batman, is that you?
 
2017-12-01 10:26:15 PM  
well..speaking of elon...He just tweeted THIS!:
https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/9​3​6782477502246912
/roflmao
 
2017-12-01 10:44:05 PM  
I'm guessing that's a joke but if you need to test the Heavy with *something*, may  as well send a Dragon capsule to Mars. Or at least the Moon.  Pick up that chump change X Prize.
 
2017-12-01 11:06:33 PM  
1. Do I get the 30% tax credit for this too?

2. Do I get the tax credit upon purchase, or after use?
 
2017-12-01 11:06:44 PM  
Anyone else wondering how Elon Musk feels about his name being used for describing this when he has no involvement?
 
2017-12-01 11:17:25 PM  

mr lawson: well..speaking of elon...He just tweeted THIS!:
https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/93​6782477502246912
/roflmao


Yeah, I really hope that's a serious tweet, and not just for the awesomeness of sending a car into space. There's actually a whole lot of shiat that a successful mission would demonstrate. First, and most obviously, that Falcon Heavy works, but if he's targeting martian orbit, then SpaceX needs to demonstrate the ability to perform a multi-month mission. This involves not only tracking the trajectory of the Roadster throughout the duration of the trip, but having a variation of the second stage (or maybe a third stage?) that can both survive for months, perform trajectory correction burns, an orbital insertion burn, and presumably a deorbit burn once the Roadster is in orbit around mars. It would be one hell of an accomplishment, and demonstrating all those capabilities would leave a lot of their rivals with their jaws on the floor. It's a point where I think a lot of people will start saying "Maybe he will make it to Mars...."
 
2017-12-01 11:19:24 PM  
I think I'd stick with my plan of getting in an oxygen tent and filling it with nitrous after downing about 200 xanax.   Can't imagine it hurting, and if it does I doubt I will give a damn.

wahwahwahwahwah
 
2017-12-02 12:28:20 AM  

chitownmike: Eh, I would have checked out well before that and my point was that being able to do yourself is as easy as looking around the room and having the urge to do so.


Have you done a statistical survey of people attempting suicide and the aftermath? Because even without that, I'm sure I've heard of a few instances of things going horribly wrong. Like even shooting yourself in the head doesn't always kill you.

I have an inkling the most effective and painless way is to take a lot of insulin. Although I don't know if it's true - if it was true, why wouldn't they use it for executions?
 
2017-12-02 01:18:59 AM  
I'd just ski off into the backcountry on a day with high avalanche danger. Specifically find a dangerous feature and pick on it. Give my body back to nature. Just have to be able bodied enough to ride a lift to the top and slip through the ropes or backcountry gate.
 
2017-12-02 05:51:12 AM  

poorjon: "Meet the Elon Musk of Assisted Suicide, Whose Machine Lets You Kill Yourself Anywhere"

A gun?

/Or a pair of nail clippers and a can-do attitude


Teeth, real or false, will do a better job.
 
2017-12-02 05:53:48 AM  

natazha: chitownmike: If you need to kill yourself and can't find a way, easily, I have never been there. Could do it now with what's in my toiletry bag and the handle of Evan on the dresser, feel like making a mess? Utility knife has some fresh blades. Get really sloppy? Could go at my neck weth a chefs knife. Why is this ever needed?

As an example, I had a friend in California whose colon cancer metastasized, by the time she gave up on treatments, she could barely stand up, couldn't grip a knife or pull the trigger on a gun. Fortunately, she was able to hold down the button on her pain meds dispenser, which had just been reloaded.


Someone must have disabled the automatic dose controller in that dispenser.  Normally, they only give you X ml every Y minutes.
 
2017-12-02 05:55:23 AM  
Turkey roasting bag, with drawstring around opening
Tank of helium from Party City
Aquarium hose
Done.
 
2017-12-02 06:25:27 AM  

itcamefromschenectady: chitownmike: Eh, I would have checked out well before that and my point was that being able to do yourself is as easy as looking around the room and having the urge to do so.

Have you done a statistical survey of people attempting suicide and the aftermath? Because even without that, I'm sure I've heard of a few instances of things going horribly wrong. Like even shooting yourself in the head doesn't always kill you.

I have an inkling the most effective and painless way is to take a lot of insulin. Although I don't know if it's true - if it was true, why wouldn't they use it for executions?


They deliberately choose painful methods of execution rather than peaceful. The drug that paralyzes the condemned prisoner doesn't affect his ability to feel pain, for example. Otherwise, they could just use what vets use to euthanize animals. But that wouldn't be enough of a punishment.
 
2017-12-02 08:25:42 AM  
BolloxReader:

Why is painless death such a farking boon? It's still death.

You should consider speed paramount.
 
2017-12-02 11:48:02 AM  

doglover: Why is painless death such a farking boon? It's still death.
You should consider speed paramount.

speed is usually pretty messy for everybody else, more trauma for the family. painless usually means OD on sedatives, which isn't as messy as far as cleanup is involved. i.e., no brains to scrape out of the decorative wicker trim on the ceiling fan.

BarkingUnicorn: Turkey roasting bag, with drawstring around opening
Tank of helium from Party City
Aquarium hose
Done.

I knew a guy a long time ago who was, as a kid, very oblivious and happy to help without question when the sweet old lady next door came over and asked if she could borrow a few plastic bags and rubber bands. He found out what she wanted them for a while later when they found her body.
btw, TFA mentions that most people don't like dying with a bag over their head.

BarkingUnicorn: Someone must have disabled the automatic dose controller in that dispenser.  Normally, they only give you X ml every Y minutes.

accidents happen. that's the story and everybody's sticking to it.

BolloxReader: They deliberately choose painful methods of execution rather than peaceful. The drug that paralyzes the condemned prisoner doesn't affect his ability to feel pain, for example. Otherwise, they could just use what vets use to euthanize animals. But that wouldn't be enough of a punishment.

you might want to look this up. there is a sedative, THEN paralytic, then strong potassium chloride to stop the heart/neurons. Your outrage is unjustified. The controversy is if they are being used properly, not if they are being used.
 
2017-12-02 03:24:56 PM  

chitownmike: If you need to kill yourself and can't find a way, easily, I have never been there. Could do it now with what's in my toiletry bag and the handle of Evan on the dresser, feel like making a mess? Utility knife has some fresh blades. Get really sloppy? Could go at my neck weth a chefs knife. Why is this ever needed?


chitownmike: Eh, I would have checked out well before that and my point was that being able to do yourself is as easy as looking around the room and having the urge to do so.


Suicide methods are more complicated than they seem. There is 1) accessibility of materials, 2) efficacy, 3) ease of overcoming the survival instinct, and 4) the ick factor.

A knife is easy to get and stabbing yourself in the heart is very effective, but it is difficult to do and messy.

Overdosing on opiates is peaceful and easy to do, but you have to get them and they have to be what your source says they are. They could even end up being extended release and part acetaminophen, and your graceful exit ends up being a slow, agonizing death by liver failure.

Methods that do well on all four factors are rare. That's where these booths come in.
 
2017-12-03 01:26:39 AM  
OH sure, this guy's a hero, but Dr. Kevorkian was a  criminal.
 
2017-12-03 04:15:27 AM  
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The minions of orthodoxy WANT you to think it's a suicide machine......
 
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