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(Metro)   Hello, too fat dog here. Yeah, the humans tried to pin an attack on a cyclist on me, but because I am too fat to run, they cleared my fat name   ( metro.co.uk) divider line
    More: Sappy, Obesity, Mishka, Nutrition, Dieting, Cancer, Sled dog, Mr Thorley, dog  
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8290 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2017 at 8:50 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



67 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-11-20 07:39:14 AM  
Let me start by saying that I am happy the dog's name was cleared.  Accusations like that can follow you around for your entire life and no dog should have to deal with the hateful internet posts that come with something like this.  That being said, I don't think the owner should be so quick to start reducing his pet's weight.  Let's be honest here and admit that, once you rip out an animal's sex organs, life's greatest pleasures are reduced by one.  What does that leave?  Walking?  In Manchester?  If I were a dog given a choice between walking through Manchester and being dissolved in a strong industrial acid, I'd be pull the stopper out of the bottle before you even got to the end of the sentence.  So, the only thing left is FOOD.  Glorious glorious food!  And, it doesn't even need to be GOOD food.  Open a can of snouts and butcher refuse and suddenly, it is the best day of that dog's life.  Plus, if the dog does lose the weight, and an incident like this one happens again, that dog will get the chair, which is not a good thing because she's probably not allowed on the furniture....
 
2017-11-20 07:52:17 AM  
He thic.
 
2017-11-20 08:07:46 AM  

bigfatbuddhist: Let me start by saying that I am happy the dog's name was cleared.  Accusations like that can follow you around for your entire life and no dog should have to deal with the hateful internet posts that come with something like this.  That being said, I don't think the owner should be so quick to start reducing his pet's weight.  Let's be honest here and admit that, once you rip out an animal's sex organs, life's greatest pleasures are reduced by one.  What does that leave?  Walking?  In Manchester?  If I were a dog given a choice between walking through Manchester and being dissolved in a strong industrial acid, I'd be pull the stopper out of the bottle before you even got to the end of the sentence.  So, the only thing left is FOOD.  Glorious glorious food!  And, it doesn't even need to be GOOD food.  Open a can of snouts and butcher refuse and suddenly, it is the best day of that dog's life.  Plus, if the dog does lose the weight, and an incident like this one happens again, that dog will get the chair, which is not a good thing because she's probably not allowed on the furniture....


Spoken like a true Big Fat Buddhist.

I was unaware of your previous surgery, however. T&P™!
 
2017-11-20 08:17:25 AM  

RJReves: bigfatbuddhist: Let me start by saying that I am happy the dog's name was cleared.  Accusations like that can follow you around for your entire life and no dog should have to deal with the hateful internet posts that come with something like this.  That being said, I don't think the owner should be so quick to start reducing his pet's weight.  Let's be honest here and admit that, once you rip out an animal's sex organs, life's greatest pleasures are reduced by one.  What does that leave?  Walking?  In Manchester?  If I were a dog given a choice between walking through Manchester and being dissolved in a strong industrial acid, I'd be pull the stopper out of the bottle before you even got to the end of the sentence.  So, the only thing left is FOOD.  Glorious glorious food!  And, it doesn't even need to be GOOD food.  Open a can of snouts and butcher refuse and suddenly, it is the best day of that dog's life.  Plus, if the dog does lose the weight, and an incident like this one happens again, that dog will get the chair, which is not a good thing because she's probably not allowed on the furniture....

Spoken like a true Big Fat Buddhist.

I was unaware of your previous surgery, however. T&P™!


Well, at least after the surgery was over, I had a much better understanding of the difference between vasectomy and castration...
 
2017-11-20 08:31:15 AM  

bigfatbuddhist: RJReves: bigfatbuddhist: Let me start by saying that I am happy the dog's name was cleared.  Accusations like that can follow you around for your entire life and no dog should have to deal with the hateful internet posts that come with something like this.  That being said, I don't think the owner should be so quick to start reducing his pet's weight.  Let's be honest here and admit that, once you rip out an animal's sex organs, life's greatest pleasures are reduced by one.  What does that leave?  Walking?  In Manchester?  If I were a dog given a choice between walking through Manchester and being dissolved in a strong industrial acid, I'd be pull the stopper out of the bottle before you even got to the end of the sentence.  So, the only thing left is FOOD.  Glorious glorious food!  And, it doesn't even need to be GOOD food.  Open a can of snouts and butcher refuse and suddenly, it is the best day of that dog's life.  Plus, if the dog does lose the weight, and an incident like this one happens again, that dog will get the chair, which is not a good thing because she's probably not allowed on the furniture....

Spoken like a true Big Fat Buddhist.

I was unaware of your previous surgery, however. T&P™!

Well, at least after the surgery was over, I had a much better understanding of the difference between vasectomy and castration...


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-20 08:52:13 AM  
sigh.  I would have gone with retaining my dignity, even if it meant doggy prison for a crime I didn't commit.
 
2017-11-20 08:53:11 AM  
anglophonism.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-20 08:55:38 AM  
There is so much win in the first two paragraphs alone.
 
2017-11-20 08:56:15 AM  
Speaking of dogs and bikes:  people, please don't bike while walking your dog on a leash.  One time seeing the leash get caught in the wheel with the dog almost caught underneath is enough for me.
 
2017-11-20 09:01:28 AM  
Is there a shortage of editors?
 
2017-11-20 09:04:05 AM  
I wonder how long it took for the dog to walk to slowly.
 
2017-11-20 09:09:36 AM  
One thing I've learned in my many years of trail running is that it is amazing how much better at running dogs are than people.  Old fat border collies will run you into the ground.

/glad this dogs name was cleared.
 
AOW
2017-11-20 09:10:39 AM  
That dog is like me, if you see either of us running do 2 things:

1- call 911 (999 in UK I believe)

2 - try and keep up with us

Trust me, if my fat ass is moving faster than a walk something extremely bad happened....
 
2017-11-20 09:20:10 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-20 09:22:15 AM  
What an illogical article.  The speed of the dog, the owner's age, the owner's health, the fact that the owner is happy when petting the dog.  All irrelevant. The dog wasn't leashed or controlled, it waddled over to a leashed dog and got into a dog fight.

I suppose it's possible this woman got bit by her own dog, which is probably what the judge considered, and none of the fluff above.  It's still irresponsible for the sad old guy to let his dog waddle around unleashed.
 
2017-11-20 09:32:42 AM  

Ker_Thwap: What an illogical article.  The speed of the dog, the owner's age, the owner's health, the fact that the owner is happy when petting the dog.  All irrelevant. The dog wasn't leashed or controlled, it waddled over to a leashed dog and got into a dog fight.

I suppose it's possible this woman got bit by her own dog, which is probably what the judge considered, and none of the fluff above.  It's still irresponsible for the sad old guy to let his dog waddle around unleashed.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size


sad fat dog frowns on your shenanigans
 
2017-11-20 09:40:59 AM  

Ker_Thwap: What an illogical article.  The speed of the dog, the owner's age, the owner's health, the fact that the owner is happy when petting the dog.  All irrelevant. The dog wasn't leashed or controlled, it waddled over to a leashed dog and got into a dog fight.

I suppose it's possible this woman got bit by her own dog, which is probably what the judge considered, and none of the fluff above.  It's still irresponsible for the sad old guy to let his dog waddle around unleashed.


Dude, if the dog is so morbidly obese that a sloth on diphenhydramine could stop it, why bother with a leash? By your logic all animals should be muzzled in public too. Screw that; some animals don't need restraint.

As an avid cyclist, let me also say that if your gutter mutt chases me down the road with clear intention to bite me, the steel pipe is coming out and their head is getting caved in. If you can't control your dog in public, the public will control your animal for you.
 
2017-11-20 09:47:01 AM  

thespindrifter: Ker_Thwap: What an illogical article.  The speed of the dog, the owner's age, the owner's health, the fact that the owner is happy when petting the dog.  All irrelevant. The dog wasn't leashed or controlled, it waddled over to a leashed dog and got into a dog fight.

I suppose it's possible this woman got bit by her own dog, which is probably what the judge considered, and none of the fluff above.  It's still irresponsible for the sad old guy to let his dog waddle around unleashed.

Dude, if the dog is so morbidly obese that a sloth on diphenhydramine could stop it, why bother with a leash? By your logic all animals should be muzzled in public too. Screw that; some animals don't need restraint.

As an avid cyclist, let me also say that if your gutter mutt chases me down the road with clear intention to bite me, the steel pipe is coming out and their head is getting caved in. If you can't control your dog in public, the public will control your animal for you.


Every single time some twit writes "by your logic", it's a universal constant that they'll toss out some entirely idiotic statement that has nothing whatsoever to do with what I wrote.

I also don't advocate your steel pipe vigilantism.
 
2017-11-20 09:48:27 AM  
Ladies and gentleman of they jury, does this look like the face of a common thug?

img.fark.netView Full Size


And in closing, let me point out the cyclist was dressed really catty and was asking for it.
 
2017-11-20 09:50:05 AM  

thespindrifter: Ker_Thwap: What an illogical article.  The speed of the dog, the owner's age, the owner's health, the fact that the owner is happy when petting the dog.  All irrelevant. The dog wasn't leashed or controlled, it waddled over to a leashed dog and got into a dog fight.

I suppose it's possible this woman got bit by her own dog, which is probably what the judge considered, and none of the fluff above.  It's still irresponsible for the sad old guy to let his dog waddle around unleashed.

Dude, if the dog is so morbidly obese that a sloth on diphenhydramine could stop it, why bother with a leash? By your logic all animals should be muzzled in public too. Screw that; some animals don't need restraint.

As an avid cyclist, let me also say that if your gutter mutt chases me down the road with clear intention to bite me, the steel pipe is coming out and their head is getting caved in. If you can't control your dog in public, the public will control your animal for you.


Thank you!  - thank you so much!

I was going to make a snarky comment about bike riders and their ridiculous attitudes... But i see i dont have to - you've made my argument for me!

Thank you - you've made my day!

/not often you get find someone to do your work for you
 
2017-11-20 10:03:18 AM  

gnosis301: Speaking of dogs and bikes:  people, please don't bike while walking your dog on a leash.  One time seeing the leash get caught in the wheel with the dog almost caught underneath is enough for me.


"Just because I am a feckless dolt, I want everyone not to do something that takes coordination."
 
2017-11-20 10:06:38 AM  

fireclown: One thing I've learned in my many years of trail running is that it is amazing how much better at running dogs are than people.  Old fat border collies will run you into the ground.

/glad this dogs name was cleared.


There is a section in "The Lore of Running" (or similar work) describing how to build up your [new] dog's endurance to go running with you (presumably for marathon level runners, I suspect it starts above your typical jogger).  They also mention that you don't need to bother with huskies.

In another fat dog thread I mentioned the difficulty of determining when your husky was getting too husky.  Dogs with two layers of fluffiness make it hard to find the dog underneath.
/typical jogger
//got old
///still trying to get back to running
 
2017-11-20 10:09:04 AM  

thespindrifter: Ker_Thwap: What an illogical article.  The speed of the dog, the owner's age, the owner's health, the fact that the owner is happy when petting the dog.  All irrelevant. The dog wasn't leashed or controlled, it waddled over to a leashed dog and got into a dog fight.

I suppose it's possible this woman got bit by her own dog, which is probably what the judge considered, and none of the fluff above.  It's still irresponsible for the sad old guy to let his dog waddle around unleashed.

Dude, if the dog is so morbidly obese that a sloth on diphenhydramine could stop it, why bother with a leash? By your logic all animals should be muzzled in public too. Screw that; some animals don't need restraint.

As an avid cyclist, let me also say that if your gutter mutt chases me down the road with clear intention to bite me, the steel pipe is coming out and their head is getting caved in. If you can't control your dog in public, the public will control your animal for you.


Guess you told us...
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-20 10:09:58 AM  
A well motived animal can do strange things.

I had a cat that had kittens. At 12 weeks one of them weight half what the mother did and twice what his siblings did. He growled as soon as he got his food. I could take away his food and he would look at me and purr and then when I gave him his food bad he would growl at me again. He was known as "fatty kitty".

One day I hear fatty kitty growling in the next room like he was having lunch which was odd since they hadn't been feed in a few hours so I go see what is going on. He had a rat in his mouth and the other kittens and his mother were watching him. The rat weighed half as much as he did so who caught the thing.
 
2017-11-20 10:12:10 AM  

meh...: Guess you told us...


This goes for being a pedestrian, too.

Handle your farking animals, people.
 
2017-11-20 10:14:47 AM  

edmo: Ladies and gentleman of they jury, does this look like the face of a common thug?

[img.fark.net image 338x328]

And in closing, let me point out the cyclist was dressed really catty and was asking for it.


"Who's a good boy? You are, you're a good boy!"
 
2017-11-20 10:17:58 AM  
That is a lot of stone for a dog.  That dog should have fewer stone.
 
2017-11-20 10:18:14 AM  
After reviewing the evidence, the judge ruled good dog, who wants a treat and a belly rub?
 
2017-11-20 10:21:08 AM  

Ker_Thwap: What an illogical article.  The speed of the dog, the owner's age, the owner's health, the fact that the owner is happy when petting the dog.  All irrelevant. The dog wasn't leashed or controlled, it waddled over to a leashed dog and got into a dog fight.

I suppose it's possible this woman got bit by her own dog, which is probably what the judge considered, and none of the fluff above.  It's still irresponsible for the sad old guy to let his dog waddle around unleashed.


That's an automatic loser on Judge Judy
 
2017-11-20 10:28:01 AM  
Try this: See a dog darting for your motorcycle/bicycle? Slow down, let the dog pick an intercept line to you at that slower speed, then as it gets closer, speed up suddenly. Chances are you will leave the dog in the dust.

/they teach this in motorcycle safety (MSF) class
 
2017-11-20 10:30:30 AM  

PghThermal: Ker_Thwap: What an illogical article.  The speed of the dog, the owner's age, the owner's health, the fact that the owner is happy when petting the dog.  All irrelevant. The dog wasn't leashed or controlled, it waddled over to a leashed dog and got into a dog fight.

I suppose it's possible this woman got bit by her own dog, which is probably what the judge considered, and none of the fluff above.  It's still irresponsible for the sad old guy to let his dog waddle around unleashed.

That's an automatic loser on Judge Judy


Judge Judy Lets Dog Find Its REAL Owner Inside Court
Youtube bG0a6Oy7rfA
 
2017-11-20 10:37:13 AM  

gnosis301: Speaking of dogs and bikes:  people, please don't bike while walking your dog on a leash.  One time seeing the leash get caught in the wheel with the dog almost caught underneath is enough for me.


There is a unicyclist I see nearly every morning as I get to work. He often has a tiny dog on a leash with him who is struggling to keep up. In addition to that, when this guy gets off the unicycle and crosses the crosswalk and then tries to get back on, he sometimes falls off in the process and nearly landed on his dog but when he does get on, he yanks up on the leash so the poor little dog's front legs are off the ground and he's being choked for a few seconds.
As luck would almost have it, the same idiot (minus the dog) was cycling the wrong way on a one way street last week after dark and he's lucky I looked the wrong way for idiots before pulling out because he was inches away from being hit.
 
2017-11-20 10:37:37 AM  
Are we sure it wasn't a bear mistaken for a fat dog?
Community - Ben Chang - Fat Dog Dance
Youtube 7qzCAC2YYqE
 
2017-11-20 10:40:13 AM  

ph0rk: meh...: Guess you told us...

This goes for being a pedestrian, too.

Handle your farking animals, people.


Just a curiosity on my part here...

Does the pedestrian get the pipe treatment along with the dog?
 
2017-11-20 10:51:22 AM  

UtileDysfunktion: Try this: See a dog darting for your motorcycle/bicycle? Slow down, let the dog pick an intercept line to you at that slower speed, then as it gets closer, speed up suddenly. Chances are you will leave the dog in the dust.

/they teach this in motorcycle safety (MSF) class


Not sure that works with bicycles, slowing down sounds like a bad idea when you likely have less than one horsepower.
/not sure about huskies, but had a samoyed (another sled dog with two coats of fluffiness)
//she never chased a car, motorcycle, or bicycle
///the one and only time she saw a snowmobile (presumably her ancestral enemy), she gave chase
 
2017-11-20 10:51:26 AM  

yet_another_wumpus: fireclown: One thing I've learned in my many years of trail running is that it is amazing how much better at running dogs are than people.  Old fat border collies will run you into the ground.

/glad this dogs name was cleared.

There is a section in "The Lore of Running" (or similar work) describing how to build up your [new] dog's endurance to go running with you (presumably for marathon level runners, I suspect it starts above your typical jogger).  They also mention that you don't need to bother with huskies.

In another fat dog thread I mentioned the difficulty of determining when your husky was getting too husky.  Dogs with two layers of fluffiness make it hard to find the dog underneath.
/typical jogger
//got old
///still trying to get back to running


Csb:

When we were 6th or 7th grade, a chubbier friend of mine got a husky.

By the time we graduated high school, he was a cross country star and also a decent soccer player because he could run forever. Broke a bunch of track records and had a mid 4 minute mile.

It just started out walking the dog...eventually got up to multi hour runs.
 
2017-11-20 11:06:56 AM  
My dogs would bit you too if you looked this dorky.

bicycle-riding-for-boomers.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-20 11:14:01 AM  

gnosis301: Speaking of dogs and bikes:  people, please don't bike while walking your dog on a leash.  One time seeing the leash get caught in the wheel with the dog almost caught underneath is enough for me.


There are ways to do it safely, and it's good exercise for owner and dog.
 
2017-11-20 11:31:29 AM  

fireclown: One thing I've learned in my many years of trail running is that it is amazing how much better at running dogs are than people.  Old fat border collies will run you into the ground.

/glad this dogs name was cleared.


Depends on the breed, and like people, dogs have to work up to running long distances. But yeah, a vizsla sees a 10-miler as a quick pee run.
 
2017-11-20 11:51:08 AM  

ar393: yet_another_wumpus: fireclown: One thing I've learned in my many years of trail running is that it is amazing how much better at running dogs are than people.  Old fat border collies will run you into the ground.

/glad this dogs name was cleared.

There is a section in "The Lore of Running" (or similar work) describing how to build up your [new] dog's endurance to go running with you (presumably for marathon level runners, I suspect it starts above your typical jogger).  They also mention that you don't need to bother with huskies.

In another fat dog thread I mentioned the difficulty of determining when your husky was getting too husky.  Dogs with two layers of fluffiness make it hard to find the dog underneath.
/typical jogger
//got old
///still trying to get back to running

Csb:

When we were 6th or 7th grade, a chubbier friend of mine got a husky.

By the time we graduated high school, he was a cross country star and also a decent soccer player because he could run forever. Broke a bunch of track records and had a mid 4 minute mile.

It just started out walking the dog...eventually got up to multi hour runs.


Not to derail the thread, but I bet he lost weight more to a diet change than to activity. People over estimate the amount of calories that physical activity will burn, and how quickly those calories can be added back on by eating one bad meal.
 
2017-11-20 11:54:01 AM  

Ker_Thwap: What an illogical article.  The speed of the dog, the owner's age, the owner's health, the fact that the owner is happy when petting the dog.  All irrelevant. The dog wasn't leashed or controlled, it waddled over to a leashed dog and got into a dog fight.

I suppose it's possible this woman got bit by her own dog, which is probably what the judge considered, and none of the fluff above.  It's still irresponsible for the sad old guy to let his dog waddle around unleashed.


Yeah... a dog that wanders up to someone without permission isn't under control.  Anything that happens is the unleashed dog's owner's fault.

Also a dog can walk slowly and aggressively towards another dog: head forward, eyes & ears forward, tail up high.  Dogs approaching other dogs this way look calm, but are actually threatening the other dog and are moments away from a fight. Lots of owners don't recognize it for aggression, which drives me crazy.

Leashed dogs often react to this sort of approach with fear aggression like barking and growling and snapping.  They can't run away so they are trying to warn the aggressive dog off.

Still... kinda glad the dog got off without a "dangerous dog" designation.  Just hope his owner keeps it on leash and away from strange dogs from now on.
 
2017-11-20 11:54:10 AM  

skinink: People over estimate the amount of calories that physical activity will burn, and how quickly those calories can be added back on by eating one bad meal.


Running 20+ miles a week, for a couple years will get most people into better shape. 8th graders in 1993 weren't changing their normal diets that much.
 
2017-11-20 12:04:17 PM  

ar393: skinink: People over estimate the amount of calories that physical activity will burn, and how quickly those calories can be added back on by eating one bad meal.

Running 20+ miles a week, for a couple years will get most people into better shape. 8th graders in 1993 weren't changing their normal diets that much.


Better cardiovascular shape but not necessarily significantly smaller. I know many overweight distance runners, although admittedly not a lot of runners who run long distances FAST. People overestimate the amount of calories they burn while exercising and the amount they need to "fuel up" or "recover." Supplement manufacturers are more than happy to capitalize on that and steer people into chowing down on a protein bar (a couple hundred calories) after every single workout.
 
2017-11-20 12:12:06 PM  

thespindrifter: As an avid cyclist, let me also say that if your gutter mutt chases me down the road with clear intention to bite me, the steel pipe is coming out and their head is getting caved in. If you can't control your dog in public, the public will control your animal for you.


As an avid pedestrian, where bikes heavily use same paths, to some I have to say if your vehicle comes down one at me too fast and close enough it's getting the hooked piece of broom handle in the spokes.
 
2017-11-20 12:16:32 PM  
Doggy needs some Slim-Fast and a Treadmill.
 
2017-11-20 12:21:44 PM  

OldJames: Is there a shortage of editors?


True:

From TFA: "She was triking with terrier cross Woody tied to her vehicle in a park in Chorlton-cum-Hardy when she claims 8 stone Mishka bounded over to her, bearing her teeth."

Good thing an old dog still has teeth to bear.
 
2017-11-20 12:25:37 PM  

Nogale: steer people into chowing down on a protein bar (a couple hundred calories) after every single workout.


this kid wasn't as round as he was tall, he was, as i was, "husky".

also thing that burns calories does its normal daily thing, and eats its normal daily amount, and has a more or less stable size and weight. now don't change anything else and add lots of cardio, it will lose weight. when calories in don't change, and calories out do, you lose weight.

I probably eat three of the 20 gram clif bars a day when i'm actually doing stuff (bucking up & splitting wood, skiing, biking, etc....) and while I am 20lbs lighter and thinner now compared to when I was an athlete in college, I can say I am not in better shape now.
 
2017-11-20 12:25:44 PM  

thespindrifter: Ker_Thwap: What an illogical article.  The speed of the dog, the owner's age, the owner's health, the fact that the owner is happy when petting the dog.  All irrelevant. The dog wasn't leashed or controlled, it waddled over to a leashed dog and got into a dog fight.

I suppose it's possible this woman got bit by her own dog, which is probably what the judge considered, and none of the fluff above.  It's still irresponsible for the sad old guy to let his dog waddle around unleashed.

Dude, if the dog is so morbidly obese that a sloth on diphenhydramine could stop it, why bother with a leash? By your logic all animals should be muzzled in public too. Screw that; some animals don't need restraint.

As an avid cyclist, let me also say that if your gutter mutt chases me down the road with clear intention to bite me, the steel pipe is coming out and their head is getting caved in. If you can't control your dog in public, the public will control your animal for you.


i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-20 12:29:34 PM  

Ker_Thwap: I suppose it's possible this woman got bit by her own dog, which is probably what the judge considered


Thats pretty much entirely why the dog was let off.

There were two dogs in this event, and the necessary research into the size of the bite has not been undertaken so I cannot correctly decide which dog did bite the victim.

Two dogs snapping and snarling at each other.  One on the side of the victim, one the opposite side if the tricycle frame from the victim...  It's not inconceivable that the woman's on dog accidentally bit her while it was being aggressive to the fat dog.
 
2017-11-20 12:33:49 PM  
That dog needs a fedora and a Fark handle, and it better happen soon before it ends up a trilby and lurking on Reddit.
 
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