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(Detroit Free Press)   Nothing says "congratulations on getting parolled" like being dragged naked through a prison   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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20590 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jun 2004 at 2:51 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

92 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-06-03 09:31:06 AM  
Want some cheese with that whine?
2004-06-03 10:18:16 AM  
WCU_GUY, I don't think the guy getting beat on and whining is the problem. I think the fact that, "The two guards are accused of letting six or seven inmates out of their cells" is more of the issue. Of course that guy must have crapped his pants when he saw them coming for him... that HAD to be a scary moment for him. "I'm paroled! YES! I'm getting out of... Uh shouldn't you guys be in your cells? HEEELP!"
2004-06-03 10:28:32 AM  
I agree with the cops lawyers. Poor judgement, and "boys will be boys" attitude. If they are busy razzing each other, they aren't stabbing each other. Besides it isn't like they could have overpowered the guards, like there weren't 30 on standby anyway? And I'm sure the guards know which ones they can trust, like it or not prison becomes like a (very unsafe) family.
2004-06-03 11:21:50 AM  
I don't get why prisoners feel the need to prove their machismo by raping another men. Silly closet homosexuals.
2004-06-03 12:47:12 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

"I would point and laugh at it!"
2004-06-03 02:01:40 PM  
Valdemiro Eh, I have compassion issues. I don't commit crimes - so why should I be respectful to those who do.

/Bitter at the penal system after reading for his Dutch History class.
2004-06-03 02:56:33 PM  
This is no different than what happens at the Skull and Bones initiation, and we're going to ruin people's lives over it, and we're going to hamper our correctional effort, and then we are going to really hammer them because they had a good time. You know, these people are being fired at every day. I'm talking about people having a good time, these people, you ever heard of emotional release? You [ever] heard of need to blow some steam off?
2004-06-03 02:57:17 PM  
Enjoy life on the outside, biatch!
2004-06-03 02:57:21 PM  
Advice theother inmates gave him when he gets rotated back into the world with us common folk: "Watch your cornhole, man."
[image from too old to be available]
2004-06-03 02:57:24 PM  
I'm sure he'd rather be pranked than shanked.
2004-06-03 02:57:39 PM  
LOL! Those wacky prisoners! What will they do next!
2004-06-03 02:59:07 PM  
We'll see who's doing the high fiving when those guards do their time. I doubt that loose inmates coming at them would be greeted with laughs and chuckles.
2004-06-03 02:59:28 PM  
He's lucky he didn't get pounded in the arse as a good bye how do you do.
2004-06-03 02:59:47 PM  
I guess in prison, one man's "malicious anal rape with a feces-covered knife" is another man's "boys will be boys"
2004-06-03 03:01:47 PM  
Well played, ChewbaccaJones.
2004-06-03 03:01:55 PM  
We sure do have a way with prisoners, don't we?
2004-06-03 03:02:29 PM  
Some people would pay good money to be drahged naked through a prison by 6 or 7 guys.

Anybody have some start-up capital?
2004-06-03 03:03:43 PM  
Corrections Director Patricia Caruso said the issue isn't what happened, but "what could have happened."

Yep, it's all fun and games until someone gets anally assaulted.
2004-06-03 03:05:06 PM  
The word is "paroled."
2004-06-03 03:05:38 PM  
"There was no malicious or vicious mentality," Nickola said. "This is more of a boys-will-be-boys thing."

[image from too old to be available] ???
2004-06-03 03:07:14 PM  
WCU_Guy Eh, I have compassion issues. I don't commit crimes - so why should I be respectful to those who do.

I'm not black, that's why I'm not respectful to those that are?

/Pesky human beings
2004-06-03 03:07:14 PM  
Chewbacca Jones...major props for being the first of 40 Lynndie England pics here.

/Yes, I'd still hit it.
2004-06-03 03:10:16 PM  
Those crazy wacky frat boys!........Oh wait.
2004-06-03 03:10:17 PM  
"They stripped him naked and dragged him across the floor and into a corridor -- "

Hmmmmm....into a corridor​ET IT! I dont want to know!
2004-06-03 03:10:20 PM  
I'm surprised no one has mentioned the proverbial rolling doughnut.
2004-06-03 03:10:23 PM  
shiat like this makes me glad I'm not in prison.

Anyhow, guards letting prisoners out of their cell so they can do stuff to another prisoner is obviously wrong.
2004-06-03 03:10:30 PM  
"There was no malicious or vicious mentality," Nickola said. "This is more of a boys-will-be-boys thing."

It's a prison, not a fraternity. Don't give me this trite. They let 6-7 prisioners out of their cells in the middle of the night. These prisioners then attacked another man, stripped him naked and dragged him around a jail. It's not like he could fight them off, they we doing it with the consent of armed guards. He'd STILL be in jail if he fought them off and maybe even dead. It's a farking prision.
2004-06-03 03:11:32 PM  
Way to completely misuse one of the worst ploys in debate history.

Tell me, do black people choose to be black? Because most criminals choose to commit crimes, and end up in jail because of it.

That whole "replace the noun with a race" crap is the hallmark of stupidity.
2004-06-03 03:13:16 PM  
previous post aimed at poopmasterflex BTW
2004-06-03 03:13:29 PM  
Homer: Sorry about the 'running you over' prank.

Dean: ....prank...?
2004-06-03 03:14:26 PM  
As someone said earlier, I would love a followup story once the guards are put in jail and the other guards, that used to be their friends, sick some of those inmates on them. Ahhhhh the irony
2004-06-03 03:15:29 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

I approve.
2004-06-03 03:15:42 PM  
Great job. These boys should be promoted and sent to Eye-RACK. We need them there.
2004-06-03 03:16:42 PM  

No glow sticks??

Props to ChewbaccaJones and skinink!!!

"F*cking A!"
2004-06-03 03:16:59 PM  
Prisoner abuse must be some ingrained aspect of American society. (since Americans are evil and all)
2004-06-03 03:17:46 PM  


Yeah, that's clever. And what's up with the all caps in 'RACK'? And the 'Eye'. I don't get it. It's possible that I have missed something.

And what about the hyphen?

2004-06-03 03:17:54 PM  
Nothing says "we'll miss you" like a midnight sodmizing!
2004-06-03 03:18:31 PM  
Dick Cheney sez: Butt pyramids are FUN!
2004-06-03 03:19:03 PM  
2004-06-03 03:17:46 PM ChillibowFark

Thanks for your inter-est, SON. We'll get you signed up and flown out to EYE-RACK along with the rest of em.

God Bless ya, son.
2004-06-03 03:19:13 PM  
This thread needs more Abu Ghraib refrences.
2004-06-03 03:19:46 PM  

Eh, I have compassion issues. I don't commit crimes - so why should I be respectful to those who do.

How do you know the guy committed a crime? Just because you're tried, convicted, and sentenced doesn't mean you actually committed the crime you were tried for.

It's all too easy to get a false conviction based on very thin and very questionable evidence. For example, there are a lot of people who have been convicted on the testimony of a single eyewitness, even when said eyewitness had a history of mental illness, or had a reason to see harm come to the defendant.

There have been a number of cases in which criminals on death row were aquitted of the crimes they had been convicted of and sentenced to death for, when new and incontrovertable evidence came to light.

Unless you're rich enough to afford a good lawyer, if you are arrested for a crime you did not commit, you stand an apallingly good chance of being convicted of that crime.
2004-06-03 03:20:24 PM  
Hey, they didn't use a leash did they?
2004-06-03 03:21:16 PM  
Hey guys, let's give Mickey a good send-off with a proper ass-pounding. He would do it for anyone of us.

Good times....Good times.
2004-06-03 03:21:41 PM  
Well, it proves it. American soldiers in Iraq weren't abusing the prisoners - they were just trying to bring a little piece of America to the poor Iraqis! Sexual abuse in prisons is a proud part of American heritage. They like American-style clothes, American-style music, and now they're getting American-style government (eventually). Why not American-style prisons?
2004-06-03 03:23:30 PM  
Webgrunt, everything you said is correct.

Except the last line of the article said he was being taken to another jail on other charges.

Either he's a criminal, or he has really bad luck, or he has a really bad lawyer.

That said, you can get away with just about anything if you've got the right lawyer, guilty or not.
2004-06-03 03:23:31 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Of course, being dragged naked around a prison is completely un-American...
2004-06-03 03:24:29 PM  
If these guys knew where to draw the line between "boys being boys" and violence, they probably wouldn't be in prison in the first place.

And guards letting prisoners out of their cells in the middle of the night is just wrong.
2004-06-03 03:24:53 PM  
"There was no malicious or vicious mentality," Nickola said. "This is more of a boys-will-be-boys thing."

Isn't that what Bush said about Abu Ghraib?
2004-06-03 03:25:27 PM  
I don't commit crimes - so why should I be respectful to those who do.

You never make mistakes. You're just perfect in every way. Congratulations on your virtuousness.
2004-06-03 03:25:29 PM  
Thanks for your inter-est, SON. We'll get you signed up and flown out to EYE-RACK along with the rest of em.

God Bless ya, son.

/I don't even know where to start with this one. Perhaps I could begin with the sentence fragments, follow-up with the mis-placed hyp-hens and then close out with the ALLCAPS and slang.

Being a TotalFarker has made you complacent.
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