Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Australian surfer shows a shark who is boss   ( yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Fry, surfer Mick Fanning, great white shark, superficial puncture wounds, Charlie Fry, Shark, Australian Broadcasting Corp., surfing competition  
•       •       •

4750 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2017 at 2:50 PM (5 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

5 days ago  
21 votes:
Other tips in dealing with vicious wild animals...

1.  When attacked by a crocodile, stick your finger or thumb into its eye.  It will still eat you but it will think twice before attacking anyone else.

2.  Bears won't attack dead animals.  Do your best to play dead when attacked by a bear.  If your performance doesn't work at first, it will become more believable as the attack continues.

3.  Pumas often mistake joggers as fleeing prey.  If jogging in puma country, run backwards.

4.  Keep in mind that snakes don't want to bite you.  So, if you are bitten, it might help to remember that the snake didn't enjoy it very much.

5.  A rhinoceros has very poor vision. If you stand perfectly still and don't make a sound, it will think it has charged, trampled and gored a tree or bush... so... the jokes on him, I guess.

6.  A healthy wolf will not attack a human being.  So, if you hear a howl, followed by a wet nasty-sounding cough, your number is definitely up...

7.  If you are caught in a closed area with an angry bull, start talking like Christopher Walken.  Bulls will not attack Christopher Walken because he is a national treasure...

8.  A puff adder can be tricked into striking at a balloon filled with warm air.  If you don't have a balloon filled with warm air, then play dead.  It won't fool the puff adder but, if any bears are wandering the area, you might keep them from attacking....

9.  If you are attacked by a mountain gorilla, you probably deserve it.

10.  Scorpions can be grabbed from just behind the stinger and handled safely if that's something you're into...
5 days ago  
10 votes:

Priapetic: Um, subby, I know reading's hard, but:

"A British doctor who arrived in Australia two months ago to work, "

it's not THAT hard.


Once someone's gone to Australia, they officially count as Australian until their sentence is up.
5 days ago  
3 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
5 days ago  
2 votes:

Harry Wagstaff: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: [img.fark.net image 224x300]

Dammit


img.fark.netView Full Size
5 days ago  
2 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
5 days ago  
2 votes:

bigfatbuddhist: Other tips in dealing with vicious wild animals...

1.  When attacked by a crocodile, stick your finger or thumb into its eye.  It will still eat you but it will think twice before attacking anyone else.

2.  Bears won't attack dead animals.  Do your best to play dead when attacked by a bear.  If your performance doesn't work at first, it will become more believable as the attack continues.

3.  Pumas often mistake joggers as fleeing prey.  If jogging in puma country, run backwards.

4.  Keep in mind that snakes don't want to bite you.  So, if you are bitten, it might help to remember that the snake didn't enjoy it very much.

5.  A rhinoceros has very poor vision. If you stand perfectly still and don't make a sound, it will think it has charged, trampled and gored a tree or bush... so... the jokes on him, I guess.

6.  A healthy wolf will not attack a human being.  So, if you hear a howl, followed by a wet nasty-sounding cough, your number is definitely up...

7.  If you are caught in a closed area with an angry bull, start talking like Christopher Walken.  Bulls will not attack Christopher Walken because he is a national treasure...

8.  A puff adder can be tricked into striking at a balloon filled with warm air.  If you don't have a balloon filled with warm air, then play dead.  It won't fool the puff adder but, if any bears are wandering the area, you might keep them from attacking....

9.  If you are attacked by a mountain gorilla, you probably deserve it.

10.  Scorpions can be grabbed from just behind the stinger and handled safely if that's something you're into...


for once my daughter laughed at 7/10 of the jokes
5 days ago  
2 votes:
Sharks are notoriously bashful; a stern look would have been sufficient.

lawlz.orgView Full Size
5 days ago  
2 votes:
media.giphy.comView Full Size


Holy Safe's Up Batman! Sounds like this novice surfer could have used some Bat Shark Repellent and The Joker's "Surfing Experience & Ability Transferometer"  and avoided this whole mess.
5 days ago  
1 vote:
One day on an Oz beach, a little Ozzie lad was attacked by a Great White Shark.
A great hulking beach-type ran into the water, grabbed the shark and with one punch knocked the shark out cold.
A journalist saw the action, and interviewed the hero. He said, "Sir! That was incredible! Tomorrow the headlines will read "Local Mate Saves Young Lad From Great White Shark!"
"Well, actually, I'm not from around here."
"No matter!. The headlines will read Ozzie Mate Saves Lad From Certain Death!"
"Well, actually, I'm from the UK".
"Oh. Well, that makes a difference. Tomorrow the headlines will read Pommy Bastard Kills Boy's Pet!"
5 days ago  
1 vote:

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: [img.fark.net image 224x300]


Dammit
5 days ago  
1 vote:
Tony Danza?
5 days ago  
1 vote:

mrparks: If you examine frames 231-233, you can clearly see the surfer forcing his thumb into the shark's butthole.


Was he packing his balls in there? Like a pipe?
5 days ago  
1 vote:

bigfatbuddhist: 3. Pumas often mistake joggers as fleeing prey. If jogging in puma country, run backwards.


Wasn't there some article, I don't even remember how long ago, about people wearing masks on the back of their heads when jogging for this reason? It may have even been the Onion but I don't think it was.
5 days ago  
1 vote:
What's he the boss of?  That's really quite an achievement for a shark, even in today's progressive corporate cultures...
5 days ago  
1 vote:
Sometimes the shark would go away; sometimes he wouldn't go away.
 
Displayed 15 of 15 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report