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(SB Nation)   What would happen if you asked a computer to name the teams in a fictional English soccer league? And then you were bored enough to create back-stories for all of the teams?   ( cartilagefreecaptain.sbnation.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, recurrent neural network, Artificial intelligence, football club names, Premier League, Aston Villa F.C., Computer, English football league system, Chelsea F.C.  
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800 clicks; posted to Sports » on 13 Nov 2017 at 12:20 PM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-11-13 11:45:19 AM  
Pretty sure I'd be a fan of Wodgy Villa.

/ or Farton, of course
 
2017-11-13 11:52:11 AM  

Nick Nostril: Pretty sure I'd be a fan of Wodgy Villa.

/ or Farton, of course


A bunch of poseurs. I've been following St. Dertford since the beginning.
 
2017-11-13 12:14:20 PM  
You'd never get laid, that's for sure.
 
2017-11-13 12:39:27 PM  
Cockport Town

That is all.
 
2017-11-13 12:55:31 PM  
People would tell you to get a life.
 
2017-11-13 12:57:41 PM  
All kneel before Clood!
 
2017-11-13 01:08:52 PM  
And they're all better than QPR.
 
2017-11-13 01:19:55 PM  
You'd have something to write on Monday?
You'd have the CFL?

Sorry about the last bit.
Go Redblacks!
 
2017-11-13 01:25:29 PM  
The London Sillinannies were the most feared group of gobblebathers in the cremfield. Led by Sir Johnswallow Tabernathy, the Sillinannies once swooped the jazzywazzle all the way to Burtonshire.
 
2017-11-13 01:31:17 PM  
I think I did things like that when I was in middle school.  Granted they were more like JetMoto and Wipeout vehicle teams.
 
2017-11-13 01:32:44 PM  

Howling Fantods: The London Sillinannies were the most feared group of gobblebathers in the cremfield. Led by Sir Johnswallow Tabernathy, the Sillinannies once swooped the jazzywazzle all the way to Burtonshire.


I laughed.

//i feel like I should learn about cricket.
 
2017-11-13 01:34:32 PM  
You guys. Hellesdope is where it's at. It's right there in the name.
 
2017-11-13 01:48:30 PM  

Howling Fantods: The London Sillinannies were the most feared group of gobblebathers in the cremfield. Led by Sir Johnswallow Tabernathy, the Sillinannies once swooped the jazzywazzle all the way to Burtonshire.


That sounds pretty close to real.
 
2017-11-13 01:51:26 PM  
The Leet Welfare Rangers is already taken; it's the name of my all-ranger wow guild of role playing beggars.
 
2017-11-13 02:01:46 PM  
Back in the early '90s, I used to play Mike Ditka's Ultimate Football, one of the first games that let you do a customized "Season Mode." I'd spend hours coming up with the craziest cities I could think of for my 28 teams (Medicine Hat, Rangoon, Walla Walla, Nunavut, Ulaanbaatar) and then individually name each of the 20-some players on each team (Fetlock, Cinnamon, Whinge, Poodle, Flange, Cobbler, etc.). By the time I was finished, I was too tired to play the game, so I'd just set it to play itself and watch the play-by-play scroll by: "Truth or Consequences' First Down from its 20: Bootblack complete to Fluffernutter at the 28 yard line, tackled by Potato.")

/will go to my grave knowing that I never wasted a minute of my life.
 
2017-11-13 03:15:19 PM  

henryhill: Cockport Town

That is all.


Conveniently located right next to Clitlowe Town!
 
2017-11-13 03:33:57 PM  
Fackenham...just change one letter and it would be perfect.  well they could change a couple and they'd be perfect (in different iterations)
 
2017-11-13 04:12:33 PM  
Heck, let's just say it's Farkenham United!

We could have our own song:

F U to old F U!
F U to you and you!
F U to all of you!
F U to old F U!
F U!

Or something like that...
 
2017-11-13 04:15:08 PM  

dietbubba: Fackenham...just change one letter and it would be perfect.  well they could change a couple and they'd be perfect (in different iterations)


There actually is a town called Fakenham (in Norfolk).
 
2017-11-13 04:42:37 PM  
shiat Briftle Clupston
You're just a shiat Briftle Clupston
shiat Briftle Cluuupston
You're just a shiat Briftle Clupston!
 
2017-11-13 04:45:30 PM  
seems to be far more interesting than real soccer
 
2017-11-13 04:54:25 PM  

dietbubba: Fackenham...just change one letter and it would be perfect.  well they could change a couple and they'd be perfect (in different iterations)


Mad Canadian: Heck, let's just say it's Farkenham United!

We could have our own song:

F U to old F U!
F U to you and you!
F U to all of you!
F U to old F U!
F U!

Or something like that...


I was thinking that Fackenham sounds like it can only be uttered correctly while shouting. FACKENHAM!
 
2017-11-13 04:58:47 PM  

RandolphCarter: henryhill: Cockport Town

That is all.

Conveniently located right next to Clitlowe Town!


There has to be an epic rivalry between Cockport and Clitlowe. Perhaps it started when Cockport was forced to forfeit a game when they couldn't find Clitlowe.
 
2017-11-13 07:05:29 PM  
Stradley Old Lovers

Eewwwwww
 
2017-11-13 07:50:24 PM  
The backstory of Clood is the funniest thing I've read today.
 
2017-11-13 07:55:57 PM  
Reality has us covered: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockfost​ers_F.C.
 
2017-11-13 11:02:15 PM  

Howling Fantods: The London Sillinannies were the most feared group of gobblebathers in the cremfield. Led by Sir Johnswallow Tabernathy, the Sillinannies once swooped the jazzywazzle all the way to Burtonshire.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-14 03:49:19 AM  
Kickstonians for life!

'Dersley Heath' probably is a real team name. It's certainly the least crazy one on there.
 
2017-11-14 07:45:12 AM  

Here Comes Everybody: RandolphCarter: henryhill: Cockport Town

That is all.

Conveniently located right next to Clitlowe Town!

There has to be an epic rivalry between Cockport and Clitlowe. Perhaps it started when Cockport was forced to forfeit a game when they couldn't find Clitlowe.


User name checks out.
 
2017-11-14 10:16:16 AM  

Here Comes Everybody: RandolphCarter: henryhill: Cockport Town

That is all.

Conveniently located right next to Clitlowe Town!

There has to be an epic rivalry between Cockport and Clitlowe. Perhaps it started when Cockport was forced to forfeit a game when they couldn't find Clitlowe.


and lord knows Cockport would never stop to ask for directions.
 
2017-11-14 08:42:20 PM  

virulent_loser: Here Comes Everybody: RandolphCarter: henryhill: Cockport Town

That is all.

Conveniently located right next to Clitlowe Town!

There has to be an epic rivalry between Cockport and Clitlowe. Perhaps it started when Cockport was forced to forfeit a game when they couldn't find Clitlowe.

and lord knows Cockport would never stop to ask for directions.


Wait, what?!?

I thought Cockport was the *DESTINATION*.
 
2017-11-14 10:20:40 PM  

RandolphCarter: virulent_loser: Here Comes Everybody: RandolphCarter: henryhill: Cockport Town

That is all.

Conveniently located right next to Clitlowe Town!

There has to be an epic rivalry between Cockport and Clitlowe. Perhaps it started when Cockport was forced to forfeit a game when they couldn't find Clitlowe.

and lord knows Cockport would never stop to ask for directions.

Wait, what?!?

I thought Cockport was the *DESTINATION*.


well, you know, if that's your thing and all...
 
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