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(Slate)   "Dear Prudence: My girlfriend is a sweet woman with a young daughter. She's a compulsive hoarder; I helped her move and throw away trash. She can't stop hoarding. She says I'm not moving fast enough; I can't be with her rodent-filled mess. What do?"   ( slate.com) divider line
    More: Sad, girlfriend, parents, family, Marriage, rescuer tendencies, Mother, father, home free food  
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599 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 10 Nov 2017 at 9:50 AM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-11-10 08:46:26 AM  
Move in to a reeeeeeeally small apartment.
 
2017-11-10 08:50:49 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: Move in to a reeeeeeeally small apartment.


By yourself. On the other side of town.
 
2017-11-10 09:00:35 AM  

foo monkey: Tr0mBoNe: Move in to a reeeeeeeally small apartment.

By yourself. On the other side of town.


This. Only a qualified therapist can help a hoarder
 
2017-11-10 09:03:59 AM  
Maybe she hoard because she needed the money....
 
2017-11-10 09:09:43 AM  
".......Last week, I visited her place and had my own stress attack when I navigated a cavernous path from her front door to her kitchen."

If you're having panic attacks at the dating stage, she will send you to the funny farm if you marry her. She WILL not change.

Ugh. My mom is a compulsive hoarder in her late 80s, and had been responsible for many of my panic attacks. Mostly because she and dad would set up monthly meetings where they would look over all my books and grill me about my own finances while mom never met a catalog that she wouldn't order from.

She filled up my sister's basement with useless crap that she bought in antique stores, such as cheap hotel china and Antique irons. It's not even collectibles of any value, just crap.

She constantly gives my daughter vases and trinkets that she bought from some catalog or another.

I am dreading the day I have to clean out her house. The basement and attic are so full or crap and papers that it will take several dumpsters to fill.

She fancied herself an expert on Persian rugs, spent thousands and thousands on several of them, gave me one only to find out it was a cheap tourist knock-off. She would go to going out of business furniture stores and fill the garage full of furniture and then gave these white elephants to us kids and grandkids.

And yet, when I wanted to purchase a butter tray when I didn't have one, she'd tell me I didn't need it. And as I just typed, she and my dad would make me go to monthly meetings to grill me over my finances and scrutinized every purchase. I suffered two of these meetings before I couldn't take it any more. The incongruity and the incredible hypocrisy of it was the final straw that made me pack up and leave my hometown over 20 years ago, never to return. They don't get to look at my finances any more.

According to my daughter she still fills the house full of useless garbage, trinkets, clothes and jewelry that she never wears.
 
2017-11-10 09:10:36 AM  
Stick it in her pooper.
 
2017-11-10 09:12:39 AM  

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Maybe she hoard because she needed the money....


Did you bother reading Dear Pru?  She's got a serious problem; a home and a garage filled with rotting, never-opened packages of food does not help a person financially in any way.  Oh, and people suggesting the LW move into a smaller apartment: 1) she's filling up her house, not his, with her garbage, and 2) anyway, a smaller apartment would merely end up crammed to the ceiling with rotting food and unopened packages that much sooner.
 
2017-11-10 09:14:40 AM  

Xanadone: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Maybe she hoard because she needed the money....

Did you bother reading Dear Pru?  She's got a serious problem; a home and a garage filled with rotting, never-opened packages of food does not help a person financially in any way.  Oh, and people suggesting the LW move into a smaller apartment: 1) she's filling up her house, not his, with her garbage, and 2) anyway, a smaller apartment would merely end up crammed to the ceiling with rotting food and unopened packages that much sooner.


No, I didn't RTFA, I was making a bad pun, based on an old joke.

It's what I do.
 
2017-11-10 09:16:16 AM  
img4.looper.comView Full Size
What's her number?
 
2017-11-10 09:23:31 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-10 09:28:49 AM  

Astorix: I am dreading the day I have to clean out her house. The basement and attic are so full or crap and papers that it will take several dumpsters to fill.


Tell yourself that when that day comes, you will call a house clearance or even junk removal company to take everything away.

You may feel like that is financially, logistically or otherwise unrealistic right now, but telling yourself that's what will happen might help you shed some anxiety and sleep better between now and then. (Wild guess: do you, by any chance, lie awake at night mentally planning all the disposal steps: what will go to recycling, what will go to charity, what is valuable enough to sell on eBay or a yard sale...?)
 
2017-11-10 09:30:38 AM  

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Xanadone: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Maybe she hoard because she needed the money....

Did you bother reading Dear Pru?  She's got a serious problem; a home and a garage filled with rotting, never-opened packages of food does not help a person financially in any way.  Oh, and people suggesting the LW move into a smaller apartment: 1) she's filling up her house, not his, with her garbage, and 2) anyway, a smaller apartment would merely end up crammed to the ceiling with rotting food and unopened packages that much sooner.

No, I didn't RTFA, I was making a bad pun, based on an old joke.

It's what I do.


If it helps, I got what you were going for

/it was a bad pun
 
2017-11-10 09:34:00 AM  

Gubbo: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Xanadone: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Maybe she hoard because she needed the money....

Did you bother reading Dear Pru?  She's got a serious problem; a home and a garage filled with rotting, never-opened packages of food does not help a person financially in any way.  Oh, and people suggesting the LW move into a smaller apartment: 1) she's filling up her house, not his, with her garbage, and 2) anyway, a smaller apartment would merely end up crammed to the ceiling with rotting food and unopened packages that much sooner.

No, I didn't RTFA, I was making a bad pun, based on an old joke.

It's what I do.

If it helps, I got what you were going for

/it was a bad pun


I know. I feel bad....

It was all I had.
 
2017-11-10 09:39:40 AM  

Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Gubbo: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Xanadone: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Maybe she hoard because she needed the money....

Did you bother reading Dear Pru?  She's got a serious problem; a home and a garage filled with rotting, never-opened packages of food does not help a person financially in any way.  Oh, and people suggesting the LW move into a smaller apartment: 1) she's filling up her house, not his, with her garbage, and 2) anyway, a smaller apartment would merely end up crammed to the ceiling with rotting food and unopened packages that much sooner.

No, I didn't RTFA, I was making a bad pun, based on an old joke.

It's what I do.

If it helps, I got what you were going for

/it was a bad pun

I know. I feel bad....

It was all I had.


It's one of those puns that works better spoken out loud.

/don't do that either though
//don't do puns
///unless its headline of the year quality punning
 
2017-11-10 09:44:43 AM  

Gubbo: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Gubbo: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Xanadone: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Maybe she hoard because she needed the money....

Did you bother reading Dear Pru?  She's got a serious problem; a home and a garage filled with rotting, never-opened packages of food does not help a person financially in any way.  Oh, and people suggesting the LW move into a smaller apartment: 1) she's filling up her house, not his, with her garbage, and 2) anyway, a smaller apartment would merely end up crammed to the ceiling with rotting food and unopened packages that much sooner.

No, I didn't RTFA, I was making a bad pun, based on an old joke.

It's what I do.

If it helps, I got what you were going for

/it was a bad pun

I know. I feel bad....

It was all I had.

It's one of those puns that works better spoken out loud.

/don't do that either though
//don't do puns
///unless its headline of the year quality punning


You're right, of course.

I'm going to go stand in the corner and think about what I've done.
 
2017-11-10 09:45:59 AM  
Signs that you are a hoarder:

1.  You use an eight foot stack of old National Geographic magazines to support the ceiling under that part of the attic where you keep the rest of your old National Geographic magazines.

2.  The leashes, collars, beds and skeletons of every dog you've ever owned are in the garage.

3.  You've started using the areas between the studs in your walls as storage...

4.  The path from your kitchen to the front door involves more than ten ninety-degree turns, going to your hands and knees at least once or somersaulting...

5.  Collectors have estimated your stuff to be worth over a hundred thousand dollars, usually just before the rats take them down.

6.  After friends convince you to shred four decades of electrical and cable bills, you now have twenty-four boxes of shredded paper...

7.  Your home is voted the best haunted house in the neighborhood even though you didn't decorate or enter...

8.  The smell of the debris in your attic is affecting doppler radar.

9.  You sleep on a mattress stuffed with old floppy disks and your baby clothes.

10.  You have to start storing your old appliances inside your new appliances...
 
2017-11-10 10:04:31 AM  
Spare a thought for Mallory Ortberg, late of the Toast, a website equivalent of a little magazine that (Mrs. Fuccon assures me) had no parallel in its day.

There are only two responses to any question she gets as Dear Prudence, and only so many ways to paraphrase them:

1. DTBA: Dump/disown the b[ad person] already, before the b[ad person] drives you into the poorhouse or the asylum.

2. You're a b[ad person] and should feel bad. If you have time to whine to a stranger about how this is someone else's fault, you have time to figure out if it's possible to undo the damage you've done before your family/friend carries out 1. above. Lotsa luck with that.
 
2017-11-10 10:04:54 AM  
Leave
 
2017-11-10 10:05:17 AM  
deltadailynews.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-10 10:18:50 AM  
Friday Prudence is here.  If you don't like the wall of texts, I recommend the Friday Gaming Thread, it might be more your speed.

1) You have two options.  Get the fark out of this relationship as fast as possible is the sane one.  The other one involves taking the daugher and her mother to a fancy dinner to celebrate, anything.  Make sure it's one of those dinner places that takes forever to eat (A japanese restaurant that cooks the food in front of you with the "egg roll" joke everyone has heard and onion volcano or a nice fondue restaurant).  While they are out have a good friend of yours, and I can't stress this part enough if you just hire some guy from craigslist you might get screwed over, have a good friend of yours go, douse the house with gasoline on the inside and start a fire.  All that kindling in there will spark the place up and it will be burned to the m-fing ground before they get back.  Then you can take the insurance money and everyone can move in together.  Once you are in the same house you can change her and control the shopping / hoarding tendencies.

Your call here Mr. Lonelypants.

2) Is he wearing the wedding dress in addition to taking your name too?  I kid, I kid, it's a new world, many people do things differently, I don't know, maybe his name is something horrible like Arsehole or Whiner or Trump.  You can elope, there are no laws against that and it's common enough these days.

3) Who.  the.  fark.  cares.  Let me in on a trade secret kid, Googling someone elses name is something you do before / during / after the first date.  So if a google search showed that your Dad was married twice and not once, this lady probably knows it and she )SHOCKED FACE( doesn't care.  They are adults, let this come out in the adult way, drunkenly at Thanksgiving.  That way if she was told it's no big deal and if it's news to her she can pretend it's no big deal then have a meltdown on him after the meal, like a normal adult.

4) Dear Prudence: My work is about to hire my old boss from hell!  

*Nothing*

WTF?  This could have been great.  I love the show "You're pretty face is going to hell", where is this question?  WHERE?

5) So no one else has kids?  Break out the macaroni and glitter because this years Christmas present is kiddie artwork.  Make a ton of it.  The nice people will display it in their offices for ridicule, the real people will roundfile them right after the holidays.  But  when you have kids and money is tight THIS is the expected present.  If you don't have kids and money is tight it is baked goods.

6) We need more details about what he was doing in the bed he died in, how old he was and if it was expected or unexpected.  This way we can know if it's creepy horror movie stuff or funny horror movie stuff.  Seriously, though, pop some ambien with a glass of vodka and be grateful they tossed out the bed with the body.

7) Oh sweetheart, everyone in the family knows about your sexuality.  My wife and I are both from large Catholic families, and we both have homosexual family members.  My wife has a cousin whose family tries to hush it up and pretend shes straight, and that is hilarious in all attempts.  Seriously, the best was when she came to a family wedding with her "boyfriend" who wore tight pink pants and almost sneezed glitter.  Outside of your parents, your family knows and they don't care, you are still family which means they want to avoid you at all costs until you prove that you are cool enough to hang out with.  As for your little brother, he knows as well.  He knows everything.  He lays awake at night and listens to the parents talk and argue about everything and knows all the dirt.  He knows more about what's going on in the family than you do.  I can also tell you that he's not homophobic and isn't going to grab on to the homophobic beliefs.
That's all folks.  Don't forget to vote for Akula, since I'm apparently an alt.

\No, I'm not an alt
 
2017-11-10 10:19:53 AM  
Time for the pre-weekend Dear Sarcasmy:

1) OK. Let me put this as gently as I can, so as not to cause you distress: RUN YOU STUPID FARKSTICK. She's nuttier than a squirrel turd and this isn't going to get better.

2) I'm sure your people would love you to elope. If you're that much in love, that much into weddings, and are dinking around with destinations and that kind of crap, they'd be overjoyed to have you go ahead and do it without them around.

3) You're giving a shiat when it isn't your turn to give a shiat. Butt out. Or do you want your dad to tell your romantic partners all your crap?

4) Give give people baked good. This shiat isn't that hard, people.

5) Show them that the room is creepy and haunted. Come down to breakfast with ligature marks on your necks. Sprinkle blood in various parts of the room. When you finally commit suicide in there they'll realize you were right all along.

6) Bring your girlfriend and be sure to refer to God as that "invisible sky wizard" at mealtimes. Everybody will realize they're wrong, you're right, and have a wonderful time.

Bye!
 
2017-11-10 10:24:41 AM  
Yeah, sure. Dude must be desperate for gash.
 
2017-11-10 10:34:08 AM  
It will never change, leave while you can.
 
2017-11-10 10:42:14 AM  

tdyak: Friday Prudence is here.  If you don't like the wall of texts, I recommend the Friday Gaming Thread, it might be more your speed.

1) You have two options.  Get the fark out of this relationship as fast as possible is the sane one.  The other one involves taking the daugher and her mother to a fancy dinner to celebrate, anything.  Make sure it's one of those dinner places that takes forever to eat (A japanese restaurant that cooks the food in front of you with the "egg roll" joke everyone has heard and onion volcano or a nice fondue restaurant).  While they are out have a good friend of yours, and I can't stress this part enough if you just hire some guy from craigslist you might get screwed over, have a good friend of yours go, douse the house with gasoline on the inside and start a fire.  All that kindling in there will spark the place up and it will be burned to the m-fing ground before they get back.  Then you can take the insurance money and everyone can move in together.  Once you are in the same house you can change her and control the shopping / hoarding tendencies.

Your call here Mr. Lonelypants.

2) Is he wearing the wedding dress in addition to taking your name too?  I kid, I kid, it's a new world, many people do things differently, I don't know, maybe his name is something horrible like Arsehole or Whiner or Trump.  You can elope, there are no laws against that and it's common enough these days.

3) Who.  the.  fark.  cares.  Let me in on a trade secret kid, Googling someone elses name is something you do before / during / after the first date.  So if a google search showed that your Dad was married twice and not once, this lady probably knows it and she )SHOCKED FACE( doesn't care.  They are adults, let this come out in the adult way, drunkenly at Thanksgiving.  That way if she was told it's no big deal and if it's news to her she can pretend it's no big deal then have a meltdown on him after the meal, like a normal adult.

4) Dear Prudence: My work is ...


The difficulty with your solution to #1 is that hoarders generally won't and can't change, so any new home the woman moves into will rapidly fill up with a new collection of crap.  Doesn't matter who else does or doesn't live in the place;  it will very quickly be just as bad as the old place.  LW should just be grateful the woman doesn't hoard pets as well.
 
2017-11-10 10:53:07 AM  

Xanadone: LW should just be grateful the woman doesn't hoard pets as well.


Actually ...

FTFA: I can't be with her rodent-filled mess.

Hoarding pests is better how?
 
2017-11-10 11:05:01 AM  

Xanadone: The difficulty with your solution to #1 is that hoarders generally won't and can't change, so any new home the woman moves into will rapidly fill up with a new collection of crap. Doesn't matter who else does or doesn't live in the place; it will very quickly be just as bad as the old place. LW should just be grateful the woman doesn't hoard pets as well.


The food will be fresher though... for a little while
 
2017-11-10 11:07:09 AM  

czetie: Astorix: I am dreading the day I have to clean out her house. The basement and attic are so full or crap and papers that it will take several dumpsters to fill.

Tell yourself that when that day comes, you will call a house clearance or even junk removal company to take everything away.

You may feel like that is financially, logistically or otherwise unrealistic right now, but telling yourself that's what will happen might help you shed some anxiety and sleep better between now and then. (Wild guess: do you, by any chance, lie awake at night mentally planning all the disposal steps: what will go to recycling, what will go to charity, what is valuable enough to sell on eBay or a yard sale...?)


oh god definitely because my sister probably won't be alive or will be so incapacitated that she won't be able to help.
 
2017-11-10 11:09:31 AM  
I've watched the hoarder show. Why do they mollycoddle those hoarders?!

Hoarders need serious psychiatric help. In cases where the trash creates a health hazard, especially to minor children, there should be involuntary commitment.
 
2017-11-10 11:12:49 AM  

Xanadone: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Maybe she hoard because she needed the money....

Did you bother reading Dear Pru?  She's got a serious problem; a home and a garage filled with rotting, never-opened packages of food does not help a person financially in any way.  Oh, and people suggesting the LW move into a smaller apartment: 1) she's filling up her house, not his, with her garbage, and 2) anyway, a smaller apartment would merely end up crammed to the ceiling with rotting food and unopened packages that much sooner.


You're an idiot for two reasons.

1.  You missed an obvious joke.

2.  You think the person in the Dear Prudence letter is real.
 
2017-11-10 11:24:30 AM  

imaconnect4guy: Xanadone: Pazuzu Smith-Jones: Maybe she hoard because she needed the money....

Did you bother reading Dear Pru?  She's got a serious problem; a home and a garage filled with rotting, never-opened packages of food does not help a person financially in any way.  Oh, and people suggesting the LW move into a smaller apartment: 1) she's filling up her house, not his, with her garbage, and 2) anyway, a smaller apartment would merely end up crammed to the ceiling with rotting food and unopened packages that much sooner.

You're an idiot for two reasons.

1.  You missed an obvious joke.

2.  You think the person in the Dear Prudence letter is real.


Fark off, you farking numbskull.
 
2017-11-10 11:24:33 AM  

czetie: Astorix: I am dreading the day I have to clean out her house. The basement and attic are so full or crap and papers that it will take several dumpsters to fill.
Tell yourself that when that day comes, you will call a house clearance or even junk removal company to take everything away.
You may feel like that is financially, logistically or otherwise unrealistic right now, but telling yourself that's what will happen might help you shed some anxiety and sleep better between now and then. (Wild guess: do you, by any chance, lie awake at night mentally planning all the disposal steps: what will go to recycling, what will go to charity, what is valuable enough to sell on eBay or a yard sale...?)


That's what they do on the Hoarders show. And Farkaroonies, don't mess around with hoarders. They are mentally ill. it's not just a matter of cleaning up their house, or of teaching them better habits. They aren't open to reason. You have to dump them. Their homes are an expression of what the inside of their heads looks like.

When your mom goes, Astorix, don't deal with it yourself. It will do a lot of damage. Pay somebody else to clean it out. You don't want your entire childhood coming at you like that.
 
2017-11-10 11:25:01 AM  

Xanadone: The difficulty with your solution to #1 is that hoarders generally won't and can't change, so any new home the woman moves into will rapidly fill up with a new collection of crap.  Doesn't matter who else does or doesn't live in the place;  it will very quickly be just as bad as the old place.  LW should just be grateful the woman doesn't hoard pets as well.


#Snark meter off
I have a neighbor down the street.  The husband likes to pretend it was just the wife that was a hoarder, but the reality is they were both hoarders.  Really bad hoarders.  They both went through help, after their son got lost in the house because of the sheer amount of crap in it (I'm not joking, he literally got lost in their home because several neat piles collapsed and the ensuing cave-in left him lost in their house).

That was their wake-up call and they got psychiatric help, and help from families.  They have broken the neighborhoods rules about garage sales being only twice a year and hold one every week.  Most neighbors buy crap from them, not because they want a box of old magazines, but because we know it's a way for them to say goodbye and ignore the fact that it's filling up the schools dumpster every Sunday.

Between them, they owned 6 trucks and had 5 filled storage lockers.  And the stuff in their houses.  They have pared it down to 4 trucks and just the house by now, but it's a constant struggle with them.  They always want to buy unique things or things on discount and sale.  In addition to having magazine subscriptions  and a daily newspaper to keep up with the news.

The real hoarders are people that do need help, and hopefully they get help and support they need.
#snark on
 
2017-11-10 11:33:15 AM  

EvilEgg: Only a qualified therapist can help a hoarder


Man, what is it with you people and that word?  "Experts".  "Qualified".  "Not incarcerated".  It's like everyone has to be perfect in every way, before you take their advice.
 
2017-11-10 11:38:57 AM  

tarheel07: [img4.looper.com image 780x438]What's her number?


That's Danielle's job
 
2017-11-10 11:42:32 AM  
run, run, run as fast as you can!

Seriously, an adult human being needs this advice?
 
2017-11-10 11:45:32 AM  

Astorix: I am dreading the day I have to clean out her house. The basement and attic are so full or crap and papers that it will take several dumpsters to fill.


Call an estate sale service. My grandfather's house was kind of like that- not worthless stuff, but just full of a lot of things like old furniture and what not. They not only went through it and handled the sale (in exchange for a percentage), but threw out what didn't sell.

It turned an absolute nightmare into some cash flow for him when he went into assisted living. We didn't even have to deal with most of it.
 
2017-11-10 11:57:15 AM  
It's a condition, I don't know that I'd call it a disease.  I know three people who are hoarders, and they can't just drop by any longer.  We meet on neutral ground and walk away with what we walked in with.
 
2017-11-10 12:07:36 PM  

2wolves: It's a condition, I don't know that I'd call it a disease.  I know three people who are hoarders, and they can't just drop by any longer.  We meet on neutral ground and walk away with what we walked in with.


I walked away from all the hoarders and beaters and farksticks that I knew personally, but I'll watch those TV shows Hoarders and My 600-Pound Life obsessively. You don't feel so sorry for most of the fat ones, because they whine and whine, but the hoarders are sad. They're just a mess, and there's nothing you can do for them. They stand there in their piles of garbage, and the people who care about them and the therapist just have to move on.
 
2017-11-10 12:21:53 PM  

Astorix: ".......Last week, I visited her place and had my own stress attack when I navigated a cavernous path from her front door to her kitchen."

If you're having panic attacks at the dating stage, she will send you to the funny farm if you marry her. She WILL not change.

Ugh. My mom is a compulsive hoarder in her late 80s, and had been responsible for many of my panic attacks. Mostly because she and dad would set up monthly meetings where they would look over all my books and grill me about my own finances while mom never met a catalog that she wouldn't order from.

She filled up my sister's basement with useless crap that she bought in antique stores, such as cheap hotel china and Antique irons. It's not even collectibles of any value, just crap.

She constantly gives my daughter vases and trinkets that she bought from some catalog or another.

I am dreading the day I have to clean out her house. The basement and attic are so full or crap and papers that it will take several dumpsters to fill.

She fancied herself an expert on Persian rugs, spent thousands and thousands on several of them, gave me one only to find out it was a cheap tourist knock-off. She would go to going out of business furniture stores and fill the garage full of furniture and then gave these white elephants to us kids and grandkids.

And yet, when I wanted to purchase a butter tray when I didn't have one, she'd tell me I didn't need it. And as I just typed, she and my dad would make me go to monthly meetings to grill me over my finances and scrutinized every purchase. I suffered two of these meetings before I couldn't take it any more. The incongruity and the incredible hypocrisy of it was the final straw that made me pack up and leave my hometown over 20 years ago, never to return. They don't get to look at my finances any more.

According to my daughter she still fills the house full of useless garbage, trinkets, clothes and jewelry that she never wears.


Good on you for getting free and clear.

My now ex-wife turned into a hoarder while we were married.  It was utterly depressing.  Couldn't use the dining room table for over a year.  There were honest to God tumbleweeds on the 3 season porch for some imagined future project.  Clothes piled in front of the actual dresser so it couldn't be used.  Never again for me.
 
2017-11-10 12:34:13 PM  
RUN hard
RUN fast
but just RUN
Do you see a theme here?
 
2017-11-10 12:37:46 PM  

dwlah: RUN hard
RUN fast
but just RUN
Do you see a theme here?


Hard, Fast and Butt.  I *KNEW* I should have gone with my classic "Stick it in her pooper".
 
2017-11-10 12:52:21 PM  

2wolves: It's a condition, I don't know that I'd call it a disease.  I know three people who are hoarders, and they can't just drop by any longer.  We meet on neutral ground and walk away with what we walked in with.


And people who haven't had to deal with that have no idea. "What's wrong with graciously receiving gifts?" they say. Well, well when you don't want the gifts, don't have space for the gifts, and have no control over the gifts, it's no longer a gift. And if I have to decide between the hissy fit that will be thrown if we say no, or the hissy fit if we take the damn things and then get rid of them later, I'd rather just say no to begin with.
 
2017-11-10 02:50:56 PM  
Leave. The good news is that with all the crap in her house, it will probably take a week for her to notice you aren't there.
 
2017-11-10 03:00:05 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Stick it in her pooper.


Whelp, I read the whole thread and this was the only good answer IMO. If she likes that then you've got that going for you.
 
2017-11-10 04:16:46 PM  

foo monkey: Tr0mBoNe: Move in to a reeeeeeeally small apartment.

By yourself. On the other side of town.


And call CPS. There is a child living in an extremely unhealthy situation. It's your responsibility to help that child.

/Can't believe this hasn't already been said fifty times.
 
2017-11-10 05:11:26 PM  

tdyak: Friday Prudence is here.  If you don't like the wall of texts, I recommend the Friday Gaming Thread, it might be more your speed.

1) You have two options.  Get the fark out of this relationship as fast as possible is the sane one.  The other one involves taking the daugher and her mother to a fancy dinner to celebrate, anything.  Make sure it's one of those dinner places that takes forever to eat (A japanese restaurant that cooks the food in front of you with the "egg roll" joke everyone has heard and onion volcano or a nice fondue restaurant).  While they are out have a good friend of yours, and I can't stress this part enough if you just hire some guy from craigslist you might get screwed over, have a good friend of yours go, douse the house with gasoline on the inside and start a fire.  All that kindling in there will spark the place up and it will be burned to the m-fing ground before they get back.  Then you can take the insurance money and everyone can move in together.  Once you are in the same house you can change her and control the shopping / hoarding tendencies.

Your call here Mr. Lonelypants.

2) Is he wearing the wedding dress in addition to taking your name too?  I kid, I kid, it's a new world, many people do things differently, I don't know, maybe his name is something horrible like Arsehole or Whiner or Trump.  You can elope, there are no laws against that and it's common enough these days.

3) Who.  the.  fark.  cares.  Let me in on a trade secret kid, Googling someone elses name is something you do before / during / after the first date.  So if a google search showed that your Dad was married twice and not once, this lady probably knows it and she )SHOCKED FACE( doesn't care.  They are adults, let this come out in the adult way, drunkenly at Thanksgiving.  That way if she was told it's no big deal and if it's news to her she can pretend it's no big deal then have a meltdown on him after the meal, like a normal adult.

4) Dear Prudence: My work is about to hire my old boss from hell!  

*Nothing*

WTF?  This could have been great.  I love the show "You're pretty face is going to hell", where is this question?  WHERE?

5) So no one else has kids?  Break out the macaroni and glitter because this years Christmas present is kiddie artwork.  Make a ton of it.  The nice people will display it in their offices for ridicule, the real people will roundfile them right after the holidays.  But  when you have kids and money is tight THIS is the expected present.  If you don't have kids and money is tight it is baked goods.

6) We need more details about what he was doing in the bed he died in, how old he was and if it was expected or unexpected.  This way we can know if it's creepy horror movie stuff or funny horror movie stuff.  Seriously, though, pop some ambien with a glass of vodka and be grateful they tossed out the bed with the body.

7) Oh sweetheart, everyone in the family knows about your sexuality.  My wife and I are both from large Catholic families, and we both have homosexual family members.  My wife has a cousin whose family tries to hush it up and pretend shes straight, and that is hilarious in all attempts.  Seriously, the best was when she came to a family wedding with her "boyfriend" who wore tight pink pants and almost sneezed glitter.  Outside of your parents, your family knows and they don't care, you are still family which means they want to avoid you at all costs until you prove that you are cool enough to hang out with.  As for your little brother, he knows as well.  He knows everything.  He lays awake at night and listens to the parents talk and argue about everything and knows all the dirt.  He knows more about what's going on in the family than you do.  I can also tell you that he's not homophobic and isn't going to grab on to the homophobic beliefs.
That's all folks.  Don't forget to vote for Akula, since I'm apparently an alt.

\No, I'm not an alt


I think you might be a reverse hoarder. Look at all of the words, opinions and thoughts you just dumped on this link.

Please, get the help you need.

;)
 
2017-11-10 05:33:21 PM  
If all the Farkers here saying it weren't enough, there was a great philosopher who best said it.

onastick.netView Full Size


"RUN! RUN! RUN!"
 
2017-11-11 12:06:39 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-11 06:01:35 AM  

Mike_LowELL: EvilEgg: Only a qualified therapist can help a hoarder

Man, what is it with you people and that word?  "Experts".  "Qualified".  "Not incarcerated".  It's like everyone has to be perfect in every way, before you take their advice.


I read that in Lionel Hutz's voice.
/RIP Phil, you taught us all, "Never stick it in crazy".
 
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