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(CBS News)   Security theater requires more money   ( cbsnews.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Transportation Security Administration, House Homeland Security, Homeland Security Committee, United States Department of Homeland Security, TSA administrator David, TSA checkpoints, Homeland Security investigators, TSA support  
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1498 clicks; posted to Politics » on 09 Nov 2017 at 2:20 PM (8 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-11-09 09:42:28 AM  
They should give them money to Dream Theater instead.  It would be better in the long run.
 
2017-11-09 09:51:08 AM  
One more time for the cheap seats:

If any private or public stakeholders thought white Americans were at real risk of being harmed by terror in the air, US airport security screenings would be conducted Israeli-style by trained professionals earning a living wage. They are not.

Airport "security" in the United States is designed to humiliate brown people (of every nation and faith) and discourage them from flying, not improve the safety of what is already the safest form of public transit. For all but the very wealthy who can afford private jets, it's at best a costly and time-consuming inconvenience.

Security measures of the transit used by brown people (buses and trains, within and between cities) are practically non-existent. Atrocities on such public transit are rare enough, and kill few enough rich whites, that nobody bothers with the expense.

Bon voyage.
 
2017-11-09 09:51:22 AM  
When an entire process is failing at up to a 95 percent rate, the obvious only solution is to throw more money at it. This approach, for example, is what brought the often-criticized F-35 program back from the brink of failure. Think of where we would be now if those in charge had, at the first difficulty, merely thrown up their hands, shook their heads, and pulled the plug? Just think.

In truth, I can conceive of only one reason why someone would want to deny the TSA more money -- he or she wants the TSA to fail, wants airport security to be lax. And why would someone want that? Why would anyone who wasn't directly working on behalf of ISIS want anything like that at all?

I'm not accusing anyone, of course. But the questions need to be asked.
 
2017-11-09 10:07:57 AM  
The TSA can kiss my ass.  It's nothing but a Work-for-Welfare program for the otherwise unemployable that constitutes legalized theft and sexual assault.

FARK the TSA.
 
2017-11-09 10:08:30 AM  

MikeyFuccon: If any private or public stakeholders thought white Americans were at real risk..


If terrorists were shooting and killing 16,000 Americans a year we wouldn't care, as long as they're not brown.
 
2017-11-09 10:15:49 AM  

UberDave: They should give them money to Dream Theater instead.  It would be better in the long run.


I wonder how much it would cost to get Mike Portnoy back.  That needs to happen.
 
2017-11-09 10:37:13 AM  
I'm not a big fan of the TSA. But these kind of articles are stupid. The simple fact is, people that are thinking about doing something evil on a plane won't try it now, because even a 20% chance of getting caught is enough to scare them away. There are too many other ways to cause mayhem available.
 
2017-11-09 10:39:24 AM  

Pocket Ninja: When an entire process is failing at up to a 95 percent rate, the obvious only solution is to throw more money at it.


Now, now, the failure rate is down to "only" 70 percent.
 
2017-11-09 11:38:10 AM  
My favorite all time TSA test run story.

The team that goes around testing to see if they catch things put the makings of a simulated bomb in a piece of luggage. The TSA searched the bag and ignored all the bomb making materials, but did bravely seize a bottle of water.

Our national moistness nightmare is over.
 
2017-11-09 02:16:04 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: The TSA can kiss my ass.  It's nothing but a Work-for-Welfare program for the otherwise unemployable that constitutes legalized theft and sexual assault.

FARK the TSA.



1) Your average TSA agent could "f*ck up a cup of coffee".

2) I want to slap anyone who says "Bbbbut it's a jobs program!"  You know what was a good jobs program?  The Civilian Conservation Corps....my Grandpa was in it, and they actually did things that added value...like building roads and bridges.  What value does the TSA give us?

3) My last TSA experience was with this c*nty biatch in Boston.  Not only did she take FOREVER to finally search my backpack, she snapped at another guy when he asked about his wife getting the "opt out" pat-down.  She (the wife) been waiting for a long time, and when he brought that up, her snooty reply was "It's not a priority for us!"  And I'll give the husband credit...he responded with "It's a priority for me."

4) I'm damn glad I have TSA Pre-Check.
 
2017-11-09 02:25:37 PM  
Since we haven't had any attacks, maybe we can just scrap the whole program.
 
2017-11-09 02:26:01 PM  
Real serious airport security requires well-trained, highly motivated personnel.  It will lead to longer delays and will cost a ton of money.  You are not going to do it on the cheap.  So, as a nation, let's decide what we want and proceed accordingly..
 
2017-11-09 02:27:44 PM  

The_Sponge: Benevolent Misanthrope: The TSA can kiss my ass.  It's nothing but a Work-for-Welfare program for the otherwise unemployable that constitutes legalized theft and sexual assault.

FARK the TSA.


1) Your average TSA agent could "f*ck up a cup of coffee".

2) I want to slap anyone who says "Bbbbut it's a jobs program!"  You know what was a good jobs program?  The Civilian Conservation Corps....my Grandpa was in it, and they actually did things that added value...like building roads and bridges.  What value does the TSA give us?

3) My last TSA experience was with this c*nty biatch in Boston.  Not only did she take FOREVER to finally search my backpack, she snapped at another guy when he asked about his wife getting the "opt out" pat-down.  She (the wife) been waiting for a long time, and when he brought that up, her snooty reply was "It's not a priority for us!"  And I'll give the husband credit...he responded with "It's a priority for me."

4) I'm damn glad I have TSA Pre-Check.


Yep tsa precheck.... The newer if you have money you can avoid being molested or sexually assaulted by minimum wage workers for your own "safety."
 
2017-11-09 02:32:22 PM  

Magwi: The_Sponge: Benevolent Misanthrope: The TSA can kiss my ass.  It's nothing but a Work-for-Welfare program for the otherwise unemployable that constitutes legalized theft and sexual assault.

FARK the TSA.


1) Your average TSA agent could "f*ck up a cup of coffee".

2) I want to slap anyone who says "Bbbbut it's a jobs program!"  You know what was a good jobs program?  The Civilian Conservation Corps....my Grandpa was in it, and they actually did things that added value...like building roads and bridges.  What value does the TSA give us?

3) My last TSA experience was with this c*nty biatch in Boston.  Not only did she take FOREVER to finally search my backpack, she snapped at another guy when he asked about his wife getting the "opt out" pat-down.  She (the wife) been waiting for a long time, and when he brought that up, her snooty reply was "It's not a priority for us!"  And I'll give the husband credit...he responded with "It's a priority for me."

4) I'm damn glad I have TSA Pre-Check.

Yep tsa precheck.... The newer if you have money you can avoid being molested or sexually assaulted by minimum wage workers for your own "safety."


Eighty-five bucks to keep your shoes on?
Maybe they ought to charge money for those who like to be groped?
 
2017-11-09 02:35:27 PM  
"In this system, we use high power algorithms to detect explosives," said Mark Laustra of Analogic, a company developing the technology.

Well, well, well.  High powered algorithms.  That's impressive.  "OK Jim, every 9th person that comes through the line gets double-checked.  That's what we call an algorithm.  I learned that in my community college management 101 class."
 
2017-11-09 02:40:06 PM  

Magwi: Yep tsa precheck.... The newer if you have money you can avoid being molested or sexually assaulted by minimum wage workers for your own "safety."


demaL-demaL-yeH: Eighty-five bucks to keep your shoes on?
Maybe they ought to charge money for those who like to be groped?



I have TSA Pre-Check because it came with my Nexus pass.....which only cost $50.  As a bonus, Nexus also comes with Global Entry....it's one of the best deals around if you can get one.

/Personally speaking, the pat-downs don't bother me....I just really hate slow moving/long lines.
 
2017-11-09 02:41:45 PM  
As of september 12, 2001, anybody trying to hijack an airplane was about as far as "claim this plane in the name of-" before receiving a Spontaneous Community-based Patriotic Beatdown. This has been borne out multiple times, and the results are cathartic and hilarious.

 Explosives are the biggest threat, and chemical detection is infinitely better than human screening security theater.  More important is a shifting security regimen that is not predictable. Any routine examination can be avoided, but when they don't know what test they will get that day it's harder to avoid and evade.
 
2017-11-09 02:42:43 PM  
Just think, with a 95% fail rate they still caught Gorka carrying a gun.
 
2017-11-09 02:44:17 PM  

The_Sponge: Magwi: Yep tsa precheck.... The newer if you have money you can avoid being molested or sexually assaulted by minimum wage workers for your own "safety."

demaL-demaL-yeH: Eighty-five bucks to keep your shoes on?
Maybe they ought to charge money for those who like to be groped?


I have TSA Pre-Check because it came with my Nexus pass.....which only cost $50.  As a bonus, Nexus also comes with Global Entry....it's one of the best deals around if you can get one.

/Personally speaking, the pat-downs don't bother me....I just really hate slow moving/long lines.


Thing is pat down is one thing. "Lets stick our hand down your pants" is another. Should i assume you missed the updated guidelines where they had to alert police about a possible upsurge in reports for this reason, or have you just not seen it happen? many of us have.
 
2017-11-09 02:45:51 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Magwi: The_Sponge: Benevolent Misanthrope: The TSA can kiss my ass.  It's nothing but a Work-for-Welfare program for the otherwise unemployable that constitutes legalized theft and sexual assault.

FARK the TSA.


1) Your average TSA agent could "f*ck up a cup of coffee".

2) I want to slap anyone who says "Bbbbut it's a jobs program!"  You know what was a good jobs program?  The Civilian Conservation Corps....my Grandpa was in it, and they actually did things that added value...like building roads and bridges.  What value does the TSA give us?

3) My last TSA experience was with this c*nty biatch in Boston.  Not only did she take FOREVER to finally search my backpack, she snapped at another guy when he asked about his wife getting the "opt out" pat-down.  She (the wife) been waiting for a long time, and when he brought that up, her snooty reply was "It's not a priority for us!"  And I'll give the husband credit...he responded with "It's a priority for me."

4) I'm damn glad I have TSA Pre-Check.

Yep tsa precheck.... The newer if you have money you can avoid being molested or sexually assaulted by minimum wage workers for your own "safety."

Eighty-five bucks to keep your shoes on?
Maybe they ought to charge money for those who like to be groped?


I bought it.  It's not so much the legalized sexual assault I'm worried about (I'm fat, middle-aged and not particularly attractive), but the legalized theft.  Until I got Pre-Check, I had something stolen from my carry-on every. farking. time one of those troglodytes opened it up for a "random check".  Now, my electronics are safe.

./I should get cheap-ass luggage to disguise the probability of valuables, I suppose.
//Fark that I have to even consider that in order to avoid being burglarized by a government official in the course of their duties.
 
2017-11-09 02:49:27 PM  

Magwi: Thing is pat down is one thing. "Lets stick our hand down your pants" is another. Should i assume you missed the updated guidelines where they had to alert police about a possible upsurge in reports for this reason, or have you just not seen it happen? many of us have.



I will never excuse the invasive pat-downs, and I fully realize why people are upset.

So I am only speaking for myself when I say this:

Long and slow-moving lines irritate me more than any invasive pat-down I have received from a TSA goon.  And I fully understand that such a view places me in the minority.
 
2017-11-09 02:50:16 PM  
They sure were interested in the 10 pounds of vinyl records I had in my carry on.  I guess it looked like plastic explosives on the x-ray.
 
2017-11-09 02:51:29 PM  
You libs are never happy. They report a 500% increase in efficiency in only two years and you still whine.
 
2017-11-09 02:51:49 PM  

tricycleracer: They sure were interested in the 10 pounds of vinyl records I had in my carry on.  I guess it looked like plastic explosives on the x-ray.



When they finally searched my backpack in Boston, here are the two items they paid close attention to:

Wet wipes
A book

Apparently, good hygiene and reading are foreign concepts to your average TSA agent.
 
2017-11-09 02:54:01 PM  

Pocket Ninja: When an entire process is failing at up to a 95 percent rate, the obvious only solution is to throw more money at it. This approach, for example, is what brought the often-criticized F-35 program back from the brink of failure. Think of where we would be now if those in charge had, at the first difficulty, merely thrown up their hands, shook their heads, and pulled the plug? Just think.

In truth, I can conceive of only one reason why someone would want to deny the TSA more money -- he or she wants the TSA to fail, wants airport security to be lax. And why would someone want that? Why would anyone who wasn't directly working on behalf of ISIS want anything like that at all?

I'm not accusing anyone, of course. But the questions need to be asked.


My only options are funny and smart, where is the "This post made me cry" option?
 
2017-11-09 03:00:34 PM  

Incog_Neeto: Pocket Ninja: When an entire process is failing at up to a 95 percent rate, the obvious only solution is to throw more money at it. This approach, for example, is what brought the often-criticized F-35 program back from the brink of failure. Think of where we would be now if those in charge had, at the first difficulty, merely thrown up their hands, shook their heads, and pulled the plug? Just think.

In truth, I can conceive of only one reason why someone would want to deny the TSA more money -- he or she wants the TSA to fail, wants airport security to be lax. And why would someone want that? Why would anyone who wasn't directly working on behalf of ISIS want anything like that at all?

I'm not accusing anyone, of course. But the questions need to be asked.

My only options are funny and smart, where is the "This post made me cry" option?


PN is good like that. I just gave up flying. I was forced to do so twice back around 2012 for work and found the whole thing so painfully idiotic that I can no longer be bothered with it.

Will have to break that rule someday or take a boat to Ireland but until then, fark the TSA for its intrusiveness and uselessness and fark the airlines for their shiatty service, add-on fees and sardine packed flights.
 
2017-11-09 03:05:55 PM  
 
2017-11-09 03:08:51 PM  

Too Pretty For Prison: "In this system, we use high power algorithms to detect explosives," said Mark Laustra of Analogic, a company developing the technology.

Well, well, well.  High powered algorithms.  That's impressive.  "OK Jim, every 9th person that comes through the line gets double-checked.  That's what we call an algorithm.  I learned that in my community college management 101 class."


I saw this and remembered just how much I loathe R&D government contractors.
/Especially government contractor marketroids.
 
2017-11-09 03:10:08 PM  
There always seem to be about three times as many TSA "officers" as necessary or actually working whenever I go through major airports. Not to mention they look like they're either from the countries we're afraid of or so terribly out of shape they couldn't get work doing anything else but say, "Please take your shoes off," all day.

Another huge W. Bush mistake.
 
2017-11-09 03:14:43 PM  

Smackledorfer: Here, that took very little time, and Google sucks for fark searching ime.

https://m.fark.com/comments/9531009/Po​lice-determine-London-car-attacker-was​-not-an-ISIS-terrorist-he-was-just-a-g​arden-variety-arsehole#new



Oh no!  I criticized certain people in Europe who have no desire to assimilate or join Western Society.
 
2017-11-09 03:18:08 PM  
Hey, give them credit; they see every single belt, every single shoe, and every water bottle.

They have the people working security looking for all the stupid innocuous things it's little wonder they miss the important things.
 
2017-11-09 03:33:32 PM  

Befuddled: Hey, give them credit; they see every single belt, every single shoe, and every water bottle.

They have the people working security looking for all the stupid innocuous things it's little wonder they miss the important things.


Exactly. When i have a p.o.t.s. attack mid security line and ask if i can give money for water from the other sude that im allowed it from or get a a glass to fix my heartrate midline because of their security messures is totally justified to them. (And dont give me that doctors note crap it costs less to just buy water in the airport). I should have been smart enough in advance to request wheelchair assistance for the delayed line of 5 people knowing they could delay us all forever and yell at me for sitting on the floor (now i ask whether i think i need it or not because they're stupid if i have an issue after. Tipping someone to wheel me through an airport i was fine for before the incident is completely rational and not in anyway an undue hardship on the disabled or irrational in any way. I still remember having to but water to make formula for my kid when she was a baby because of this stupidity where they threw out her bottle.
 
2017-11-09 03:49:18 PM  
Saving us from toenail clippers every day.
 
2017-11-09 04:25:26 PM  
Last Christmas I had some (sealed) treats from Trader Joe's in my carry-on. I'm sure you'll all feel safer knowing that they were thoroughly swabbed and checked for explosives.
 
2017-11-09 04:29:07 PM  
Currently sitting in the Philadelphia International Airport. And I'm not getting a kick out of this.
 
2017-11-09 04:58:54 PM  
I remember a particular TSA guy (he looked to be about 20) shouting at us, "If we find a water bottle in your backpack, we WILL pull you aside, you WILL get a very thorough personal search OF YOUR PERSON, and everyone in your party will get the same, you will NOT enjoy it, I will RUIN your day." Then walking along the line shouting at each person, "HURRY UP."

That's as close as I ever came to being arrested. It was a business trip and I couldn't afford it, but I really wanted to record on my phone for a bit, get in his face, say, "Call your supervisor," wait for the cuffs, and then talk it over with a lawyer. But let's face it, the most that would have happened is that particular stupid little shiat would have been fired (and even that is unlikely). And I'd have an arrest on my record.

The most I could manage was to pause, look him in the eye, and say, very calmly and in a measured tone of voice, "We're all moving as fast as any of us reasonably can. None of us want to be here any longer than necessary." He pretended not to hear me, just moved on, "HURRY UP. If we find a water bottle..." I hope I pissed him off enormously; I believe I did.

The point is that they're focused on rules, not on preventing bad things. That guy had a raging boner for finding somebody, anybody, who forgot about a water bottle, so he could stick his finger up their ass and the asses of their family members, or at least threaten to. He had no doubt been yelled at by his equally-mindless supervisor, "I'm sick and tired of people putting water bottles in their backpacks and holding up the line, and it's all YOUR fault. You either put a stop to it or I'm gonna make your life miserable." That supervisor in turn had been yelled at by *his* supervisor...

On the other hand, just for balance, the last TSA guy who made an impression on me saw my Pee Wee Herman t-shirt (Pee Wee dancing on the bar in the platform shoes) as I walked through the scanner and did some kind of ventriloquist thing, because without even leaning toward me, his honeyed ultra-smooth Al Green voice (he was black and freakin' suave as hell) buzzed in my ear, "That is one awesome shirt, bro." It was like URL from Futurama had just whispered "Awwwwww yeah" to me and me alone.

I was still erupting into giggles and looking proudly down at my shirt an hour later. I asked myself, am I sure I'm not an ISIS agent? If it turns out I am, I'm turning myself in, because damn that guy was cool. Exhaustive review concluded that no, dumbass, I'm not an ISIS agent.

/csb
 
2017-11-09 05:08:34 PM  

LarryDan43: Since we haven't had any attacks, maybe we can just scrap the whole program.


That actually wouldn't be a bad idea. For all those "Well if it makes me safer..." and "I guess you must have something to hide..." asswipes, consider that most airports already have either a) a detatchment of cops assigned to it (little 13-gate MSN has a detachment of deputies AND a bomb-sniffing dog) or b) their own police force. Please stop being chickenshiats, you're embarassing yourselves
 
2017-11-09 05:09:52 PM  

cmb53208: LarryDan43: Since we haven't had any attacks, maybe we can just scrap the whole program.

That actually wouldn't be a bad idea. For all those "Well if it makes me safer..." and "I guess you must have something to hide..." asswipes, consider that most airports already have either a) a detatchment of cops assigned to it (little 13-gate MSN has a detachment of deputies AND a bomb-sniffing dog) or b) their own police force. Please stop being chickenshiats, you're embarassing yourselves



It would be so much better to have each airport manage their own security team under certain federal standards.
 
2017-11-09 06:02:04 PM  
They could use civil forfeiture on the all the terrorists and criminals they are able to stop.
 
2017-11-09 07:11:23 PM  
I suspect a significant number of people would be okay with the TSA as long as only "Muslims" were sent to the cotton swab area.

/it's also why they think the TSA should be more like Israel's security
//"Muslims" in quotes because you know the dregs they hire will send Sikhs and other brown people there too.
 
2017-11-10 09:20:20 AM  

The_Sponge: Magwi: Thing is pat down is one thing. "Lets stick our hand down your pants" is another. Should i assume you missed the updated guidelines where they had to alert police about a possible upsurge in reports for this reason, or have you just not seen it happen? many of us have.


I will never excuse the invasive pat-downs, and I fully realize why people are upset.

So I am only speaking for myself when I say this:

Long and slow-moving lines irritate me more than any invasive pat-down I have received from a TSA goon.  And I fully understand that such a view places me in the minority.


img.fark.net
 
2017-11-10 09:21:19 AM  

Pangea: The_Sponge: Magwi: Thing is pat down is one thing. "Lets stick our hand down your pants" is another. Should i assume you missed the updated guidelines where they had to alert police about a possible upsurge in reports for this reason, or have you just not seen it happen? many of us have.


I will never excuse the invasive pat-downs, and I fully realize why people are upset.

So I am only speaking for myself when I say this:

Long and slow-moving lines irritate me more than any invasive pat-down I have received from a TSA goon.  And I fully understand that such a view places me in the minority.

[img.fark.net image 552x527]


Replied to the wrong post. Oh well, this thread is way done anyway.
 
6 days ago  
I cited a poster saying fark to an entire religion. I cited him saying Muslims could not and would not adapt to western society. I cited him claiming one type of Muslims were the good ones, and he was ignorant on that.

Google bigot, mods, and see if it fits. It does.
 
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