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(KTUU Alaska)   Joyriding on a stolen electric shopping cart and getting it stuck in the snow, that's a felony   ( ktuu.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Crime, Supermarket, electric shopping cart, Safeway shopping cart, Safeway Inc., felony theft charges, Retailing, Burglary  
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3414 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Nov 2017 at 5:50 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-11-09 06:04:49 AM  
... a maxed out speed of under 2 mph

I could sleepwalk faster than that. This is why they don't allow those road boulders to compete in the Iditarod.
 
2017-11-09 07:03:53 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-09 07:17:13 AM  
Why wouldn't it be a felony?  I just looked it up, and any theft of property whose value is greater that $500 is a felony in Alaska.  Does not matter if you were only joy riding, because theft of a vehicle is also a felony.  Guy took property that was not his, and guy got caught, thus guy is screwed.  We do not have "but I was only having fun" exceptions to the law.
 
2017-11-09 07:27:54 AM  
Hopefully he'll lose weight and move more in prison and come out a healthier person
 
2017-11-09 08:02:56 AM  
Thank God this criminal is off the streets. Now I can finally sleep easy.
 
2017-11-09 08:25:25 AM  

ComaToast: ... a maxed out speed of under 2 mph

I could sleepwalk faster than that. This is why they don't allow those road boulders to compete in the Iditarod.


Those things are not maxed out at 2mph.  It has a chip governing the speed, but changing that chip can get speeds upwards of 15mph.  However, an 80+, can't see well enough to drive a car, silver haired customer can still knock over a display at 2mph.

winedrinkingman: Why wouldn't it be a felony?  I just looked it up, and any theft of property whose value is greater that $500 is a felony in Alaska.  Does not matter if you were only joy riding, because theft of a vehicle is also a felony.  Guy took property that was not his, and guy got caught, thus guy is screwed.  We do not have "but I was only having fun" exceptions to the law.


Yeah, another story told as if getting caught was the felony.  When really people need to see it as, when you committed a felony is when it became illegal.  If he didn't get caught, he still committed a felony.
 
2017-11-09 08:41:53 AM  
 Alcohol involved? Not saying he's an alcoholic, he's just really good at drinking.
 
2017-11-09 09:35:33 AM  

winedrinkingman: Why wouldn't it be a felony?  I just looked it up, and any theft of property whose value is greater that $500 is a felony in Alaska.  Does not matter if you were only joy riding, because theft of a vehicle is also a felony.  Guy took property that was not his, and guy got caught, thus guy is screwed.  We do not have "but I was only having fun" exceptions to the law.


Because it's tomfoolery with no real harm done. In the non-legal sense, it is literally a misdemeanor. But at least we can nail him with a felony charge, eh? That'll show him.
 
2017-11-09 10:02:24 AM  
Did feloniarity ensue?
 
2017-11-09 10:26:02 AM  

starsrift: winedrinkingman: Why wouldn't it be a felony?  I just looked it up, and any theft of property whose value is greater that $500 is a felony in Alaska.  Does not matter if you were only joy riding, because theft of a vehicle is also a felony.  Guy took property that was not his, and guy got caught, thus guy is screwed.  We do not have "but I was only having fun" exceptions to the law.

Because it's tomfoolery with no real harm done. In the non-legal sense, it is literally a misdemeanor. But at least we can nail him with a felony charge, eh? That'll show him.


Seriously? He was stealing an expensive electric cart. Even if you believe that he was just going for a joyride, do you really think he was going to kindly return it to the store when that joyride was over? Not a chance in hell. He'd have his joyride and then kick it over a gorge when he got bored of it. Like every asshole ever. Screw this guy and anyone who thinks that crap like this is fun or funny or no big deal.
 
2017-11-09 10:35:47 AM  
I remember when I worked for Walmart, some drunk college students came in, started riding around, hitting displays. 3 of them got cited for OVI
 
2017-11-09 10:50:17 AM  

starsrift: Because it's tomfoolery with no real harm done


Except the whole "stealing something worth $2500" part.

You are LITERALLY invoking the "but i was just borrowing it!" defense.
 
2017-11-09 11:21:48 AM  

winedrinkingman: Why wouldn't it be a felony?  I just looked it up, and any theft of property whose value is greater that $500 is a felony in Alaska.  Does not matter if you were only joy riding, because theft of a vehicle is also a felony.  Guy took property that was not his, and guy got caught, thus guy is screwed.  We do not have "but I was only having fun" exceptions to the law.


Felony means that you lose your right as a citizen.  No right to vote,  No right to defend yourself with a gun.  No right to keep your kids in a divorce.  It also makes one nearly unemployable for anything above minimum wage.  Felonies are suppose to be for rapist, murders, violent thugs, politicians and other sociopaths.  NOT for petty criminals that takes a few thousand dollar electric cart for a joy ride.  I'm not a lawyer or historian, but I would guess this law was passed in the 1800's when $500 was worth a lot more than it is now days.   But the slime ball politicians never updated it because it would make them look like they are not "tough on crime" and it lets prosecutors trump up charges so that the defendant just cops a plea deal and pays a larger fine.  Who wants to risk having a felony on their record when they can just pay the $50,000 in fees and fines.  This is part of the legal extortion racket that our legal system has become.
 
2017-11-09 11:23:33 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-09 11:28:17 AM  

ComaToast: ... a maxed out speed of under 2 mph

I could sleepwalk faster than that. This is why they don't allow those road boulders to compete in the Iditarod.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-09 12:49:45 PM  
WANTED FOR QUESTIONING
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-09 12:57:06 PM  
Good.  And also put him on the sex offenders list for good measure.
 
2017-11-09 02:05:00 PM  
Electric scooters in snow is more common than you think. I caught this lovely couple Just before Christmas last year.
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-09 02:05:11 PM  

winedrinkingman: Why wouldn't it be a felony?  I just looked it up, and any theft of property whose value is greater that $500 is a felony in Alaska.  Does not matter if you were only joy riding, because theft of a vehicle is also a felony.  Guy took property that was not his, and guy got caught, thus guy is screwed.  We do not have "but I was only having fun" exceptions to the law.


Yep, THIS^^^ In Az, felony status kicked in at $1,000, but the point still stands. It's based on the value, and this guy exceeded either of those. So yeah, a felony.
 
2017-11-09 02:06:44 PM  

MonoChango: winedrinkingman: Why wouldn't it be a felony?  I just looked it up, and any theft of property whose value is greater that $500 is a felony in Alaska.  Does not matter if you were only joy riding, because theft of a vehicle is also a felony.  Guy took property that was not his, and guy got caught, thus guy is screwed.  We do not have "but I was only having fun" exceptions to the law.

Felony means that you lose your right as a citizen.  No right to vote,  No right to defend yourself with a gun.  No right to keep your kids in a divorce.  It also makes one nearly unemployable for anything above minimum wage.  Felonies are suppose to be for rapist, murders, violent thugs, politicians and other sociopaths.  NOT for petty criminals that takes a few thousand dollar electric cart for a joy ride.  I'm not a lawyer or historian, but I would guess this law was passed in the 1800's when $500 was worth a lot more than it is now days.   But the slime ball politicians never updated it because it would make them look like they are not "tough on crime" and it lets prosecutors trump up charges so that the defendant just cops a plea deal and pays a larger fine.  Who wants to risk having a felony on their record when they can just pay the $50,000 in fees and fines.  This is part of the legal extortion racket that our legal system has become.


Maybe you just don't steal shiat, and you avoid the whole "Stealing shiat over $500 constitutes a felony." thing?
 
2017-11-09 02:47:04 PM  

shut_it_down: starsrift: winedrinkingman: Why wouldn't it be a felony?  I just looked it up, and any theft of property whose value is greater that $500 is a felony in Alaska.  Does not matter if you were only joy riding, because theft of a vehicle is also a felony.  Guy took property that was not his, and guy got caught, thus guy is screwed.  We do not have "but I was only having fun" exceptions to the law.

Because it's tomfoolery with no real harm done. In the non-legal sense, it is literally a misdemeanor. But at least we can nail him with a felony charge, eh? That'll show him.

Seriously? He was stealing an expensive electric cart. Even if you believe that he was just going for a joyride, do you really think he was going to kindly return it to the store when that joyride was over? Not a chance in hell. He'd have his joyride and then kick it over a gorge when he got bored of it. Like every asshole ever. Screw this guy and anyone who thinks that crap like this is fun or funny or no big deal.


anustart: starsrift: Because it's tomfoolery with no real harm done

Except the whole "stealing something worth $2500" part.

You are LITERALLY invoking the "but i was just borrowing it!" defense.


The Safeway in question was able to recover the cart.

With the notation that it was stolen at 3:14am, please prove unrecoverable financial damage that Safeway has suffered, or in legal terms, "irreparable harm". Despite the fact that I was alluding to the non-legal definition of misdemeanor, which both of you have blissfully glossed over.

Also, pull the sticks from your asses.

/ this isn't stunt anything like I'd pull
// but felony, really?
 
2017-11-09 03:13:49 PM  
The value/$ threshold for felony should probably be indexed to inflation.

In the meantime, I don't agree with felony charges either.  Class B misdemeanor penalties (90 days/$2000) should suffice for a first offense.
2nd offense - Full Class A jail sentences (1 year/$10k).
3rd offense - Class B Felony, full 10 years in prison because fark you, you incorrigible thieving asshole.
 
2017-11-09 03:22:14 PM  

pedrop357: The value/$ threshold for felony should probably be indexed to inflation.

In the meantime, I don't agree with felony charges either.  Class B misdemeanor penalties (90 days/$2000) should suffice for a first offense.
2nd offense - Full Class A jail sentences (1 year/$10k).
3rd offense - Class B Felony, full 10 years in prison because fark you, you incorrigible thieving asshole.


B-b-b-but TOUGH ON CRIME.  You know, broken windows?

Really, if the numbskulls that run the so-called "justice" system had their way, spitting on the sidewalk would be a 'felony'.
 
2017-11-09 03:25:11 PM  

starsrift: shut_it_down: starsrift: winedrinkingman: Why wouldn't it be a felony?  I just looked it up, and any theft of property whose value is greater that $500 is a felony in Alaska.  Does not matter if you were only joy riding, because theft of a vehicle is also a felony.  Guy took property that was not his, and guy got caught, thus guy is screwed.  We do not have "but I was only having fun" exceptions to the law.

Because it's tomfoolery with no real harm done. In the non-legal sense, it is literally a misdemeanor. But at least we can nail him with a felony charge, eh? That'll show him.

Seriously? He was stealing an expensive electric cart. Even if you believe that he was just going for a joyride, do you really think he was going to kindly return it to the store when that joyride was over? Not a chance in hell. He'd have his joyride and then kick it over a gorge when he got bored of it. Like every asshole ever. Screw this guy and anyone who thinks that crap like this is fun or funny or no big deal.

anustart: starsrift: Because it's tomfoolery with no real harm done

Except the whole "stealing something worth $2500" part.

You are LITERALLY invoking the "but i was just borrowing it!" defense.

The Safeway in question was able to recover the cart.

With the notation that it was stolen at 3:14am, please prove unrecoverable financial damage that Safeway has suffered, or in legal terms, "irreparable harm". Despite the fact that I was alluding to the non-legal definition of misdemeanor, which both of you have blissfully glossed over.

Also, pull the sticks from your asses.

/ this isn't stunt anything like I'd pull
// but felony, really?


1) Irreparable harm isn't an element of the crime. 2) They were able to retrieve the cart because he got caught, not because he was returning it. 3) I don't give a rat's ass about what definition of a misdemeanor you're using because I obviously think it's more serious than a harmless prank. 4) The fact that you're so quick to downplay this crime leads me to believe that you've either been this asshole before and just can't accept how terrible you were, or you're the type of crappy parent that lets their kids act like assholes because "they're just being kids." Me? I'm always the guy on the other end of these "pranks" that gets his new bike dumped into a river. 5) It's charged as a felony because the cart is expensive. More expensive than a lot of used cars. Would you be OK with him stealing someone's car and joyriding? Again. Screw this guy. 6) It'll get pled down to misdemeanor theft anyway.
 
2017-11-09 03:34:34 PM  

starsrift: shut_it_down: starsrift: winedrinkingman: Why wouldn't it be a felony?  I just looked it up, and any theft of property whose value is greater that $500 is a felony in Alaska.  Does not matter if you were only joy riding, because theft of a vehicle is also a felony.  Guy took property that was not his, and guy got caught, thus guy is screwed.  We do not have "but I was only having fun" exceptions to the law.

Because it's tomfoolery with no real harm done. In the non-legal sense, it is literally a misdemeanor. But at least we can nail him with a felony charge, eh? That'll show him.

Seriously? He was stealing an expensive electric cart. Even if you believe that he was just going for a joyride, do you really think he was going to kindly return it to the store when that joyride was over? Not a chance in hell. He'd have his joyride and then kick it over a gorge when he got bored of it. Like every asshole ever. Screw this guy and anyone who thinks that crap like this is fun or funny or no big deal.

anustart: starsrift: Because it's tomfoolery with no real harm done

Except the whole "stealing something worth $2500" part.

You are LITERALLY invoking the "but i was just borrowing it!" defense.

The Safeway in question was able to recover the cart.

With the notation that it was stolen at 3:14am, please prove unrecoverable financial damage that Safeway has suffered, or in legal terms, "irreparable harm". Despite the fact that I was alluding to the non-legal definition of misdemeanor, which both of you have blissfully glossed over.

Also, pull the sticks from your asses.

/ this isn't stunt anything like I'd pull
// but felony, really?


It was stolen. Therefore he stole it. It was over the amount for felonies. Therefore it's a felony.

Are you really arguing that if someone gets their shiat back, then it really wasn't "stolen", so we should just all shake hands and go home?
 
2017-11-09 03:59:19 PM  
Do they even prosecute misdemeanors (besides DUI) anymore?
 
2017-11-09 06:21:16 PM  

fredbox: Do they even prosecute misdemeanors (besides DUI) anymore?


That's what they're doing, not making an arrest till it's reaches felony status, because the media reports on every arrest ever.
 
2017-11-09 08:00:52 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

"Well, it must be comforting to know that you'll be going to hell at no more than 3 miles an hour."
 
2017-11-10 03:15:08 AM  

Mikey1969: It was stolen. Therefore he stole it. It was over the amount for felonies. Therefore it's a felony.

Are you really arguing that if someone gets their shiat back, then it really wasn't "stolen", so we should just all shake hands and go home?


A misdemeanor isn't "all shake hands and go home". Just thinking someone shouldn't find themselves virtually unemployable and all the other restrictions that felons live with just for what turned out to be an ultimately harmless shenanigan; I mean he barely made it out of the store's parking lot with the darn cart.
 
2017-11-10 09:26:52 AM  

starsrift: Mikey1969: It was stolen. Therefore he stole it. It was over the amount for felonies. Therefore it's a felony.

Are you really arguing that if someone gets their shiat back, then it really wasn't "stolen", so we should just all shake hands and go home?

A misdemeanor isn't "all shake hands and go home". Just thinking someone shouldn't find themselves virtually unemployable and all the other restrictions that felons live with just for what turned out to be an ultimately harmless shenanigan; I mean he barely made it out of the store's parking lot with the darn cart.


Oh calm down, he's not going to get convicted of a felony. It'll get pled down to a misdemeanor unless it's a repeat offense. But your "shenanigans" defense is just infuriating.
 
2017-11-10 11:48:16 AM  

shut_it_down: starsrift: Mikey1969: It was stolen. Therefore he stole it. It was over the amount for felonies. Therefore it's a felony.

Are you really arguing that if someone gets their shiat back, then it really wasn't "stolen", so we should just all shake hands and go home?

A misdemeanor isn't "all shake hands and go home". Just thinking someone shouldn't find themselves virtually unemployable and all the other restrictions that felons live with just for what turned out to be an ultimately harmless shenanigan; I mean he barely made it out of the store's parking lot with the darn cart.

Oh calm down, he's not going to get convicted of a felony. It'll get pled down to a misdemeanor unless it's a repeat offense. But your "shenanigans" defense is just infuriating.


In all honesty, THIS.
 
2017-11-10 01:27:38 PM  

shut_it_down: Oh calm down, he's not going to get convicted of a felony. It'll get pled down to a misdemeanor unless it's a repeat offense. But your "shenanigans" defense is just infuriating.


I assure you, not nearly as infuriating as I find your transferred anger masquerading as bootlicking authoritianism. But we're all people with individual views; if you want to vicariously take out your anger at a stolen bike at some poor drunken idiot with a motorized cart in Alaska, I'm certainly not going to stop you.
 
2017-11-10 02:13:33 PM  

starsrift: shut_it_down: Oh calm down, he's not going to get convicted of a felony. It'll get pled down to a misdemeanor unless it's a repeat offense. But your "shenanigans" defense is just infuriating.

I assure you, not nearly as infuriating as I find your transferred anger masquerading as bootlicking authoritianism. But we're all people with individual views; if you want to vicariously take out your anger at a stolen bike at some poor drunken idiot with a motorized cart in Alaska, I'm certainly not going to stop you.


LOL bootlicking authoritarianism? Because I don't think it's funny when drunk assholes steal things? And that I'm not bothered that they're criminally charged? I look forward to your defense of people who were "just speed racing" or committing "lol arson."
 
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