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166 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 05 Nov 2017 at 5:04 AM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-11-05 02:54:21 AM  
Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha
And while she tried to be a star
Tony always tended bar.

I am not sorry for the earworm.
 
2017-11-05 03:14:17 AM  
I haven't seen my imaginary friend since he ran off with my fantasy girlfriend.
 
2017-11-05 03:26:52 AM  

Gordon Bennett: Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there


What is this? old songs for old guys week?
 
2017-11-05 03:28:05 AM  
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2017-11-05 03:29:46 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-11-05 03:37:21 AM  
He erases my memory of him after every encounter, so I can't.
 
2017-11-05 03:48:44 AM  
So I have this therapist with a terrible sense of humor (I call him the Asshole Whisperer). Several times when referencing something a friend of mine said or did, he stops me and says, "You have friends?".  The guy's a jerk, but I suppose one needs a jerk therapist if one is also a jerk.

My last session, he took it up a notch. This is how the convo went:

Me: My friend Chris said I need to relax because I'm way too intense, Doc.
Asshole Whisperer: I'm beginning to think all your friends are imaginary.
Me: Wait, what? Even the cat?
Asshole Whisperer: Even the cat.
Me: Jesus.
Asshole Whisperer: Him, too.
 
2017-11-05 05:19:36 AM  
He dropped dead after I went for a jog (what-ever that is)

media.tmz.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-05 05:39:04 AM  
This thread is a trap!
 
2017-11-05 05:57:07 AM  

Gordon Bennett: Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha
And while she tried to be a star
Tony always tended bar.

I am not sorry for the earworm.


Well Barry Manilow was an underappreciated genius of his time. . .
 
2017-11-05 05:59:32 AM  
My friend is only semi-imaginary, in that the dog "says" a lot of things that, were he capable of speech, he probably wouldn't really say.
 
2017-11-05 06:03:43 AM  
Well, they're quick with quips about many a not-newsworthy topic...
 
2017-11-05 06:45:28 AM  

mjjt: img.fark.net


If God doesn't exist, then explain to me how water boils.

Oh wait.  You can't.
 
2017-11-05 06:55:46 AM  
I have a tattoo of a pin up girl.

I've talked to her before, but all she ever does is be metal salts suspended inside of macrophages living in my subcutaneous tissues, so her responses have been less than verbose.
 
2017-11-05 06:58:59 AM  
You wouldn't know her, she's from Canada
 
2017-11-05 07:12:56 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-11-05 07:24:56 AM  
Republicans keep pretending they're my friend.  Does that count?
 
2017-11-05 07:55:36 AM  
His name is Jesus. He's a white guy with blue eyes and long hair. But not like a hippie or anything. He actually washes his hair. He can do neat stuff like turning water into wine. So he's like always fun to have at a party when you've run out of 2-buck-chuck. Plus, he usually brings hookers.
 
2017-11-05 07:58:31 AM  
When I was three, I had an imaginary friend named Geegus.  Geegus was a "space-man" who was invisible and scared the crap out of my mom because I knew the name of his planet, how many light years away it was... and because Geegus was capable of pushing me in the swing.

I remember quite clearly the day that he left, because my mom was baking gave me a cookie and asked if Geegus might like one too.  I went outside and called for him, and shortly came back inside and gave my mom back the second cookie and said, "Geegus is gone."
 
2017-11-05 08:04:24 AM  
His name is Tyler Burden. The first rule is we don't talk about him.
 
2017-11-05 08:05:18 AM  
My senior year of high I announced that I had an imaginary friend named George. I insisted one of my teachers and most of the students in that class shake hands with tiny George when meeting him for the first time. I would hold my palm out while they did a 2 finger shake and then immediately yell 'that's not his hand, you pervert' before stomping off in a fake huff.
George was around for months. Inevitably, when there was a noise, dropped book, or anything else disruptive, George was blamed.
He ran away one day. We chased him around the class room and he escaped through an open door, never to be seen again.

I was a weird kid.
Still a weird adult.
 
2017-11-05 08:05:41 AM  
shiat. You know what I meant
 
2017-11-05 08:07:48 AM  
My imaginary friend can beat up your imaginary friend.
 
2017-11-05 08:35:29 AM  
I had an imaginary friend and a real pet duck that were both named Jack.
Jack the duck went to live at my grandfathers place and supposedly flew off to be with the other ducks.
(I suspect he might have ended up as table fare for my grandparents).
My imaginary friend Jack just disappeared one day, kind of sad now that I think of it like that.
 
2017-11-05 09:38:55 AM  
I had an imaginary friend and we would romp and play all the time. Then my Mom gave me some pills and he went away.

Dammit, Mom!
 
2017-11-05 10:21:19 AM  

ZMugg: I had an imaginary friend and we would romp and play all the time. Then my Mom gave me some pills and he went away.

Dammit, Mom!


Is an alt a farker's imaginary friend?
 
2017-11-05 10:31:21 AM  
He lives in Canada, you wouldn't know him.
 
2017-11-05 10:32:51 AM  

luckyeddie: ZMugg: I had an imaginary friend and we would romp and play all the time. Then my Mom gave me some pills and he went away.

Dammit, Mom!

Is an alt a farker's imaginary friend?


Yes?
 
2017-11-05 10:52:47 AM  
He's like my twin, except he gets to do all the things that other people tell me are bad.
 
2017-11-05 11:52:46 AM  
Which one?  All of my friends are imaginary.
 
2017-11-05 12:16:33 PM  
Imaginary Lover - Atlanta Rhythm Section
Youtube G6Z-DQGqM90
 
2017-11-05 01:06:34 PM  
His name is Brian. Brain is a mod and likes copying every single thread from the "sports" tab into the "discussion" tab.

Brian is, well, we just say that he is slow.

Because it would be rude to call someone retarded.
 
2017-11-05 01:42:39 PM  
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