FARK.com: (978794) Jesus just left Chicago. Ends up nude in Houston

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		Jesus just left Chicago. Ends up nude in Houston (story.news.yahoo.com)		63
		More: Dumbass

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14910 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jun 2004 at 8:51 AM | Favorite | share:

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DoctaCheeko		2004-06-02 08:30:54 AM

That's showbiz. I heard he's been busy with movie roles lately.

curlinggod		2004-06-02 08:49:44 AM

Took a jump through Mississippi, well, muddy water turned to wine.
Took a jump through Mississippi, muddy water turned to wine.
Yeah, yeah.
Then out to California through the forests and the pines.

MarchWhelp		2004-06-02 08:53:50 AM

"The biggest thing was that he was slippery. There's no pants or nothing to hang onto," said Andrew Green, a witness.

I'm pretty sure there was something to hang onto.

Chain		2004-06-02 08:57:06 AM

Someone should tell him G.W. (the chosen one) moved to Crawford.

She comes in colors everywhere		2004-06-02 08:57:50 AM

Ya just don't get enough ZZTop references anymore.

/and I thank you for that...

StrikitRich		2004-06-02 08:58:21 AM

MarchWhelp - Yeah, but they don't pay the cops enough to do it.

Where there any bus accidents during this incident?

LittleSmitty		2004-06-02 09:00:31 AM

"It took four police officers and three bystanders to subdue Weeks on Westheimer near Chimney Rock."

amatuers. one good swift kick. just one swift kick....

wickedMule		2004-06-02 09:00:34 AM

"Twelve o'clock in the middle of the day -- that's kind of like the last thing you expect -- some guy walking down the street stark naked..."

And the best part was, he did not need a watch to tell the time, instead Jesus relies on the ancient "sundial" method,
which unfortunately, only works if you are naked.

dynamicdog		2004-06-02 09:02:24 AM

Seriously, who hasn't walked along a busy street nude?

fatal_exception		2004-06-02 09:02:48 AM

"nd he's bound for Houston Texas" ould have been a better end for the headline.

fatal_exception		2004-06-02 09:04:54 AM

what the fark? why am I issing etters?

mahakala		2004-06-02 09:05:09 AM

Ahh, I never tire of the saga of 'naked man'
He really gets around

wickedMule		2004-06-02 09:08:01 AM

fatal_exception

Is your eyboard fuc ed up?

stevoh		2004-06-02 09:08:02 AM

HMMMM, HE WAS "SLIPPERY", maybe he was practising that immaculate conception thingymabob!!??

No Catchy Nickname		2004-06-02 09:10:36 AM

"He said his name was Brandon and he was Jesus. That's what he told me."

Brandon AND Jesus. At the same time? Hmmm, this could be a hint that he has a mental problem.

/just a thought

filth		2004-06-02 09:12:08 AM

Good work on the headline

StrikitRich		2004-06-02 09:19:43 AM

Anybody check the local motels for Vaseline?

BloodFart		2004-06-02 09:27:37 AM

8-year olds, Dude.

purpleheadedyogurtthrower		2004-06-02 09:29:55 AM

one must purify himself..naked ..alone in front all men/women.. to be truly holy.. or really be farked up..

fatal_exception		2004-06-02 09:31:43 AM

wickedMule
o, I on't hink so. It's probably ust me.

PatRIOTactORforceablesodimy		2004-06-02 09:32:39 AM

obviously he was just coming back from La Grange.

flubby		2004-06-02 09:32:52 AM

You don't have to worry because taking care of business is his name.

tevye77		2004-06-02 09:37:45 AM

this post needs a Kitty

bushgirl		2004-06-02 09:40:47 AM

This is why I love Houston - we never run out of crazy naked people

lurkergrrrl		2004-06-02 09:45:55 AM

he should be doing that in the montrose not in the galleria area, silly jesus. i bet we hang out at the same bar.

Geotpf		2004-06-02 09:53:31 AM

Had this occured in Manhattan, or Hollywood, nobody would have even noticed...

Rat		2004-06-02 10:00:06 AM

He's the lead singer in the Naked Cowboy Band

binnster		2004-06-02 10:04:49 AM

"The biggest thing was that he was slippery. There's no pants or nothing to hang onto," said Andrew Green, a witness.

I hope that if I ever get apprehended whilst naked no-one says that the biggest thing about me was that I had nothing to hang onto...

Schwhat		2004-06-02 10:17:47 AM

He said he was Jesus, does anything else needed to be said??

HyperX		2004-06-02 10:24:10 AM

If he was black, there was something to hold onto for sure!!! If he was Chinese then yea, nothing to hold onto.

kaduh		2004-06-02 10:29:06 AM

As hot as it was here yesterday, it's probably not a bad idea. I might just nude up when I head out for lunch today and tell everyone I am Buddah.

Doc_Rocknocker		2004-06-02 10:34:42 AM

Well, that's two! Whoo-hoo!

So much for the other 2655 stories I submitted. Shootings in Riyadh? Pfffft....

/Houston Expat thanking the Oil City for Weirdness on parade. Whoo-Hoo!

mkaye		2004-06-02 10:38:18 AM

Pretty gross!

loudest_mute		2004-06-02 10:46:30 AM

Jesus always looked more like a Ralph or a Steve to me, but Brandon? No way in hell I'm following the path to redemption led by a Brandon.

airzonk		2004-06-02 10:55:01 AM

Well, at least we know THIS Jesus really did exist.

puckhead		2004-06-02 10:59:43 AM

"The biggest thing was that he was slippery. There's no pants or nothing to hang onto," said Andrew Green, a witness.
ziiiiiiiiiiing!
(it was cold)

Total Wanger		2004-06-02 11:02:41 AM

I saw this guy on the news this morning. They showed him fighting when he got tackled, he had to on some acid or something.

nytmare		2004-06-02 11:14:52 AM

A Jesus leaves Chicago heading south at 40 mph while a Buddha leaves Houston heading north at 80 mph one hour later. What's for lunch?

ShoeNut		2004-06-02 11:28:09 AM

"The biggest thing was that he was slippery. There's no pants or nothing to hang onto," said Andrew Green, a witness.

Maybe he was a greased pig.

The Nim Elf		2004-06-02 11:31:11 AM

Nice Phish reference in the headline...

lbn		2004-06-02 11:32:10 AM

lurkergrrrl,

If he were doing that in Monstrose chances are you wouldn't be hanging out at the same bar.

NTTIAWWT

Unfreakable		2004-06-02 11:32:19 AM

But really, who hasn't ended up nude in Houston?

(I'm thinking of the Houston 500 here)

playin_intraffic		2004-06-02 11:39:53 AM

I thought he was bound for New Orleans?

Romeo24k		2004-06-02 11:52:07 AM

Jesus works in miysterious ways

MMGAMOIO		2004-06-02 11:58:03 AM

the nim elf

as a big phish fan, i sincerely hope you're joking

silverpig		2004-06-02 12:15:51 PM

you people talk about this as if you are surprised there is a jesus id Houston. When I lived there, I had 2 or 3 guys names Jesus doing the landscaping at my apartment complex, a Jesus bussing the tables at Pappacito's, and a Jesus cleaning my office. No shortage of the Jesus in H-town, believe me...

silverpig		2004-06-02 12:17:38 PM

"Don't fark wit de Jesus!"

a little movie trivia- can anyone name the movie from which I got this quote?

Fnorbrish		2004-06-02 12:18:44 PM

Jesus? Every crazy guy calls himself Jesus. How conventional. Why not call yourself Saint Augustine, or Elvis, or Winston Churchill, or John Philip Sousa? That would be interesting. C'mon, crazy naked people, show some creativity.

NakedApe		2004-06-02 12:28:54 PM

If this guy is Jesus Houston could be in big trouble.

crankychick		2004-06-02 12:30:15 PM

Man, couldn't he have been original and claimed to be Barabas? There are way too many Jesus' committing acts of weirdness lately. Time to hear from the guy who got pardoned.

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