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(teenhollywood.com)   Halle Berry has confessed she can't stop breaking wind   (teenhollywood.com) divider line 140
    More: Cool  
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31315 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jun 2004 at 12:21 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-06-01 10:11:42 AM  
2 things...

1.) the thing that bugs me about farting is when you smell a fart, you're not just smelling stinky air, you're smelling the inside of the feces-producing cavity of another person.

2.) on that page they have a link to "paris hilton nipple slips"... um. who cares about a nipple slip? we've seen damn near the whole kama sutra from this woman... i want to see some backdoor action, dammit.
 
2004-06-01 10:12:22 AM  
In the hopes of deflecting attention away from my Queen, I have to admit that I too have caught the windy backlash from protein shakes. I use GNC's combination whey protein and high carb shake on a daily basis to keep my weight up. Mixed with water, it's pretty harmless. However, to actually get the full potential out of it, the powder has to be mixed with milk. That's where things go horribly wrong. The combination of powdered whey and lactic acid, along with the digestive enzymes in the intestines makes for a volatile, self-perpetuating atmosphere of odourless but powerfully expelled flatus.

The problem is that I spend all day on a sales floor when I'm at work. To everyone else I might look like I'm bustling around looking for customers to help, or items to re-stock. In reality, I'm just looking for a quiet corner to cut a bomb loose.

Now that that's off my chest, I think I'll go have a protein shake, and pay the girlfriend a visit.
 
2004-06-01 10:16:45 AM  
Just think. 15 seconds ago that was in my ass. Now it's in your brain.
 
2004-06-01 10:31:11 AM  
why would you share that information with a reporter?!?

my BF has a friend who pukes at the smell of farts. great comedy.
 
2004-06-01 10:33:00 AM  
Crispin-Glover-Lover

Just about everyone who's ever used a protein shake can share that experience. It's talked about pretty openly in the press.
 
2004-06-01 10:33:41 AM  
We just had a discussion about this a few weeks ago.

Worst gas = smoothies/protein shakes
2nd worst gas - deviled eggs.

It just makes her more human.
 
2004-06-01 10:52:15 AM  
Damn, this came out last year!
 
2004-06-01 10:52:35 AM  
I'd hit it even if it WERE passing me a stinky...
 
2004-06-01 11:28:41 AM  
That does not decrease her sexiness at all. In fact, I think I'd crack up if she farted in front of me, then get turned on.
 
2004-06-01 11:49:10 AM  
Scatwoman
 
2004-06-01 11:54:55 AM  
brap:

Scatwoman

Best... comment... ever.
 
2004-06-01 12:01:31 PM  
Don't worry Halle... I have a plug. I'll be over in five minutes.

Oh, you aren't alergic to latex, are you?
 
2004-06-01 12:06:21 PM  
Toss another "l" in there.
 
2004-06-01 12:23:35 PM  
women are not allowed to fart.
 
2004-06-01 12:24:17 PM  
Halle has never been too embarrassed to fart in front of me. She still has issues with her queefs though.
 
2004-06-01 12:24:46 PM  

"Halle Berry has confessed she can't stop breaking wind"

...or speeding cars for that matter.

 
2004-06-01 12:26:25 PM  
My Question is why is the farker reading teen hollywood.com
 
2004-06-01 12:27:18 PM  
[image from people.brandeis.edu too old to be available]
 
2004-06-01 12:27:49 PM  
[image from zip.com.au too old to be available]
 
2004-06-01 12:28:03 PM  
pecker_snot Your Weeners is kinda amusing considering your sn. Just saying. And brap, is there any time that you are off. Your comments are constantly hilarious. Thanks for the laughs.
 
2004-06-01 12:29:10 PM  
"1.) the thing that bugs me about farting is when you smell a fart, you're not just smelling stinky air, you're smelling the inside of the feces-producing cavity of another person."

Wow. Thanks for that.

"2.) on that page they have a link to "paris hilton nipple slips"... um. who cares about a nipple slip? we've seen damn near the whole kama sutra from this woman... i want to see some backdoor action, dammit."

You mean you want to see her f*cked in the feces-producing cavity?
 
2004-06-01 12:30:13 PM  
I always thought she was a shiatty actress.

/here all week
 
2004-06-01 12:30:19 PM  
Well, I'll just have to plug her ass, won't I?!

Yes, having too much protein really makes you windy. Just yesterday after a workout I had a big shake plus a bar.

Couldn't go outside the rest of the day. Or I should say, I wouldn't want to be in public, outside.
 
2004-06-01 12:30:27 PM  
glenlivid... there does seem to be some inconsistency there, hmm.
 
2004-06-01 12:31:20 PM  
[image from img.fark.com too old to be available]
 
2004-06-01 12:32:09 PM  
No sound bites?
 
c
2004-06-01 12:32:51 PM  
Because of molecules we are connected to the outside world from our bodies. Like when you smell things, because when you smell a smell it's not really a smell, it's a part of the object that has come off of it, molecules. So when you smell something bad, it's like in a way you're eating it. This is why you should not really smell things, in the same way that you don't eat everything in the world around you because as a smell, it gets inside of you. So the next time you go into the bathroom after someone else has been there, remember what kinds of molecules you are in fact eating.


Obscure?
 
2004-06-01 12:32:55 PM  
Thanks to teenhollywood.com, I can hang out with stars like Halle Berry while she cranks one.
 
2004-06-01 12:33:58 PM  
I'd cork it.
 
2004-06-01 12:35:54 PM  
In keeping with the thread:

I completely agree with GWShenlong05. Protein shakes with milk are gut bombs ticking away.

In not so keeping with the thread:
GWShenlong05 has been keeping some bootylicious company and am wondering if this rump has had any foul flatulence.

http://ca.f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/adomise_1/detail?.dir=/f0b7&.dnm=ef1c.jpg

/Hope not.
 
2004-06-01 12:36:49 PM  
"Teen Hollywood - Hang Out With The Stars"

Yeah, right. Hollywood's biggest stars just hang around on that website all day just in case somebody wants to talk to them. Whatever.
 
2004-06-01 12:36:59 PM  
Halle never did much for me.. not that this is really helping matters.

/my girlfriend is hotter anyway.
 
2004-06-01 12:37:30 PM  
A fart is the crookedest thing in the world.

Aim it at the ground, but it hits you in the nose.
 
2004-06-01 12:37:55 PM  
or creating scat, like Scatwoman

/I know, someone already beat me to it, but I had to say it.
 
2004-06-01 12:40:36 PM  
No sound bites?
Ummm.....
 
2004-06-01 12:41:11 PM  
I've been married for over three years and I have not heard/nor smelled my wife fart. Anyone else?
 
2004-06-01 12:41:14 PM  
[image from photodump.com too old to be available]
 
2004-06-01 12:43:19 PM  
I'd let her fart on me, then buy me a steak dinner.
 
2004-06-01 12:44:24 PM  
Pull my well-manicured finger, dahling!
 
2004-06-01 12:45:48 PM  
Jake Steed


I've been married for over three years and I have not heard/nor smelled my wife fart. Anyone else?

Dude, after some good bung hole loven, your wife is always farting at my place...stinky too.

/I kidd I kidd
 
c
2004-06-01 12:45:58 PM  
2004-06-01 12:41:11 PM Jake Steed
I've been married for over three years and I have not heard/nor smelled my wife fart. Anyone else?


That's because she saves 'em up and throws you a Dutch Oven as soon as you fall asleep at night.
 
2004-06-01 12:46:20 PM  
Worst gas = smoothies/protein shakes
2nd worst gas - deviled eggs.


Nope. Brussel sprouts. Period.

My GF cooked some up the other night and we were driving each other out of the room. A garbage truck in summer smells better. Those farts were so bad I was bagging them up and leaving them at the curb.

/GF is on vacation, nobody to share stinky farts with :(
 
2004-06-01 12:46:28 PM  
2004-06-01 12:41:11 PM Jake Steed

I've been married for over three years and I have not heard/nor smelled my wife fart. Anyone else?

***************

My mom claims never to have farted in other's company. She would up with colon cancer (beat it, thank God).

One should not contain these things. Farts are funny. If they also happen to be offensive, light a match.
 
2004-06-01 12:46:39 PM  
I've been married for over three years and I have not heard/nor smelled my wife fart. Anyone else?

Once, when she was asleep, a real SBD wicked one woke me up.

I could tell it wasn't one of mine. Fox smells his own hole, what?
 
2004-06-01 12:46:52 PM  
"I've been married for over three years and I have not heard/nor smelled my wife fart. Anyone else?"

I haven't heard or smelled your wife fart either, but that's probably cause when she's with me she's got my dick in her ass.
 
2004-06-01 12:48:06 PM  
Nuthin' creates gas like a Louisiana bean dish or a box of raisins.

Nuthin'!
 
2004-06-01 12:48:47 PM  
My vote is for Brocolli giving the worst gas.

Oh, I almost forgot, I did your wife do and she farted.

/just trying to keep up.
 
2004-06-01 12:49:03 PM  
[image from pages.sbcglobal.net too old to be available]

"Oh now see here..." (farting sounds) "Stop that!" (farting sounds)
"Attention wireless listeners, most of the sounds you are now hearing are not being made by me" (farting sounds) "Oh stop, stop" (farting sounds) "Someone please stop the farting!" (farting sounds) (Mr Burns collapses onto the studio floor)
 
2004-06-01 12:49:23 PM  
She can toot on my snoot anytime she wants.
 
2004-06-01 12:49:36 PM  
You "she had my dick in her ass" cretins should grow up. Don't like me sayin' it? C'mon over here and I'll teach ya some manners, ya whippersnappers! I'll flip you like a cheese omelet, buddy boy!
 
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