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(Oregon Live)   If someone drives on your lawn at 5:40 in the morning, shooting at their truck isn't the best option. You should teach your kids that, too, before they fire eight rounds from "the household's .40-caliber Glock"   ( oregonlive.com) divider line
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5327 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2017 at 5:36 AM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2017-10-06 05:54:45 AM  
28 votes:
"At least one of the bullets grazed his Smith's head"

I hate getting shot in the Smith's head.
2017-10-06 06:17:57 AM  
20 votes:

Lady J: There was a fight outside my house last night. We heard a smash of breaking glass (thrown bottle, it turns out), and then a lot of shouting and scuffling. Lord J went outside and there was a dude with a baseball bat kicking off at the little scallies who hang around the basketball court and shot w33d. Big brother of head scally came 'steaming' up the road on his electric scooter and calmly tried to defuse the siuation. I was actually really impressed. Someone must have called the cops though cos a whole bunch showed up really quickly (donut shop obvs sold out).

No real harm done in the end, thankfully, except for some glass to sweep up.


I didn't realise Fark did multi-language.

Can anyone explain how I get back to English?
2017-10-06 01:15:08 AM  
12 votes:
image.oregonlive.com

I have to wonder, did the dad knock up Ronald McDonald's ugly sister?
2017-10-06 02:09:14 AM  
11 votes:

davidphogan: I have to wonder, did the dad knock up Ronald McDonald's ugly sister?


This one?
img.fark.net
2017-10-06 06:35:00 AM  
8 votes:

dyhchong: Lady J: There was a fight outside my house last night. We heard a smash of breaking glass (thrown bottle, it turns out), and then a lot of shouting and scuffling. Lord J went outside and there was a dude with a baseball bat kicking off at the little scallies who hang around the basketball court and shot w33d. Big brother of head scally came 'steaming' up the road on his electric scooter and calmly tried to defuse the siuation. I was actually really impressed. Someone must have called the cops though cos a whole bunch showed up really quickly (donut shop obvs sold out).

No real harm done in the end, thankfully, except for some glass to sweep up.

I didn't realise Fark did multi-language.

Can anyone explain how I get back to English?


Settings > Language > English (American)

let me help you out...

scally - tracksuit-sporting young man frequently in trouble with the boys in blue for petty offences
shotting weed - selling cannabis
steaming - emitting visible water vapour / very drunk / wading into a situation with enthusiasm
2017-10-06 08:15:32 AM  
5 votes:
These two guys are idiots. Everybody knows that once you shoot a truck you've gotta drag it inside your house to make it 'legit' or else Hillary Goddamn Clinton shows up and takes your guns and Bill starts chatting up your daughters. Thanks Obama!
2017-10-06 06:34:12 AM  
5 votes:
Bullsh*t. The "household firearm" is useful in many mundane situations. I, for example, like to use mine to open my beer.

\Doh!??!?!11
2017-10-06 05:50:58 AM  
5 votes:

NephilimNexus: Shotgun clearly the better option.


img.fark.net
2017-10-06 05:48:30 AM  
5 votes:
Absolute best part of TFA

"During his interview with deputies, Smith said he could still fix Sanderson's fence."
2017-10-06 02:35:38 AM  
5 votes:
After the shootout

img.fark.net

SHOOTOUTS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!
2017-10-06 01:31:33 AM  
5 votes:

feckingmorons: Shooting at people is never the Weeners,.


Hopefully.
2017-10-06 07:46:53 AM  
4 votes:
Are the guns OK?
2017-10-06 06:40:12 AM  
4 votes:

Lady J: dyhchong: Lady J: There was a fight outside my house last night. We heard a smash of breaking glass (thrown bottle, it turns out), and then a lot of shouting and scuffling. Lord J went outside and there was a dude with a baseball bat kicking off at the little scallies who hang around the basketball court and shot w33d. Big brother of head scally came 'steaming' up the road on his electric scooter and calmly tried to defuse the siuation. I was actually really impressed. Someone must have called the cops though cos a whole bunch showed up really quickly (donut shop obvs sold out).

No real harm done in the end, thankfully, except for some glass to sweep up.

I didn't realise Fark did multi-language.

Can anyone explain how I get back to English?

Settings > Language > English (American)

let me help you out...

scally - tracksuit-sporting young man frequently in trouble with the boys in blue for petty offences
shotting weed - selling cannabis
steaming - emitting visible water vapour / very drunk / wading into a situation with enthusiasm


Were there dustbins or hooligans involved?
2017-10-06 06:27:58 AM  
4 votes:
What the hell so you know? Have you seen my lawn? If farking emaculate.

Incidentally this is the same way I deal with dandelions. Airates the lawn and provides the soil with the much needed lead to keep your grass that lush, deep green.
2017-10-06 06:03:14 AM  
4 votes:

feckingmorons: I didn't read the article.
I own guns
I own a lot of guns.
I own fully automatic guns (not bump stocks)

Shooting at people is never the Weeners,. It is always the last response, right after running screaming like a little girl, at least in my bool.


Dont Shoot A Guy In The Dick
Youtube qBCDY5XhZng
2017-10-06 01:27:47 AM  
4 votes:
I didn't read the article.
I own guns
I own a lot of guns.
I own fully automatic guns (not bump stocks)

Shooting at people is never the Weeners,. It is always the last response, right after running screaming like a little girl, at least in my bool.
2017-10-06 07:49:52 AM  
3 votes:

Horizon: Lady J: There was a fight outside my house last night. We heard a smash of breaking glass (thrown bottle, it turns out), and then a lot of shouting and scuffling. Lord J went outside and there was a dude with a baseball bat kicking off at the little scallies who hang around the basketball court and shot w33d. Big brother of head scally came 'steaming' up the road on his electric scooter and calmly tried to defuse the siuation. I was actually really impressed. Someone must have called the cops though cos a whole bunch showed up really quickly (donut shop obvs sold out).

No real harm done in the end, thankfully, except for some glass to sweep up.

Are you drunk?


I wish.
2017-10-06 06:44:57 AM  
3 votes:

Summoner101: Lady J: dyhchong: Lady J: There was a fight outside my house last night. We heard a smash of breaking glass (thrown bottle, it turns out), and then a lot of shouting and scuffling. Lord J went outside and there was a dude with a baseball bat kicking off at the little scallies who hang around the basketball court and shot w33d. Big brother of head scally came 'steaming' up the road on his electric scooter and calmly tried to defuse the siuation. I was actually really impressed. Someone must have called the cops though cos a whole bunch showed up really quickly (donut shop obvs sold out).

No real harm done in the end, thankfully, except for some glass to sweep up.

I didn't realise Fark did multi-language.

Can anyone explain how I get back to English?

Settings > Language > English (American)

let me help you out...

scally - tracksuit-sporting young man frequently in trouble with the boys in blue for petty offences
shotting weed - selling cannabis
steaming - emitting visible water vapour / very drunk / wading into a situation with enthusiasm

Were there dustbins or hooligans involved?


Scallies are hooligans, just with more man-made fibre apparel.

The bottle may have come out of a dustbin prior to its launch, but whether that bin was a wheelie bin or a fixed receptacle is currently unknown.
2017-10-06 10:19:44 AM  
2 votes:

Splinthar: doglover: This is why you put rocks strategically at the edge of your property.  No truck on your lawn, no need to consider violence to remedy lawn truck situation.

I am a big fan of painted 4x4 concrete with reinforced cores instead of traditional wood posts.  They look like sturdy wood but are actually impromptu tank traps.
Though a well placed decorative boulder is always good.


Headline assumes they somehow got past that. They're in the mine field now, though.
2017-10-06 07:24:30 AM  
2 votes:
I apologize, I said accidentally above.  It was certainly intentional.  The "accident" was not realizing anyone was home.
2017-10-06 06:09:38 AM  
2 votes:
There was a fight outside my house last night. We heard a smash of breaking glass (thrown bottle, it turns out), and then a lot of shouting and scuffling. Lord J went outside and there was a dude with a baseball bat kicking off at the little scallies who hang around the basketball court and shot w33d. Big brother of head scally came 'steaming' up the road on his electric scooter and calmly tried to defuse the siuation. I was actually really impressed. Someone must have called the cops though cos a whole bunch showed up really quickly (donut shop obvs sold out).

No real harm done in the end, thankfully, except for some glass to sweep up.
2017-10-06 02:27:34 AM  
2 votes:

Zevon's Evil Twin: I bet we can guess which channel he was watching...


PornHub carrottoon?
2017-10-06 12:42:04 PM  
1 vote:

Lady J: dyhchong: Lady J: There was a fight outside my house last night. We heard a smash of breaking glass (thrown bottle, it turns out), and then a lot of shouting and scuffling. Lord J went outside and there was a dude with a baseball bat kicking off at the little scallies who hang around the basketball court and shot w33d. Big brother of head scally came 'steaming' up the road on his electric scooter and calmly tried to defuse the siuation. I was actually really impressed. Someone must have called the cops though cos a whole bunch showed up really quickly (donut shop obvs sold out).

No real harm done in the end, thankfully, except for some glass to sweep up.

I didn't realise Fark did multi-language.

Can anyone explain how I get back to English?

Settings > Language > English (American)

let me help you out...

scally - tracksuit-sporting young man frequently in trouble with the boys in blue for petty offences
shotting weed - selling cannabis
steaming - emitting visible water vapour / very drunk / wading into a situation with enthusiasm


Was there a bustle in the hedgerow?
2017-10-06 09:19:02 AM  
1 vote:
"exhausted from working two jobs"= the meth wore off.
2017-10-06 07:51:41 AM  
1 vote:
TFA:  "The guy emptied a clip at me!"

He's just trolling the gun nuts, isn't he?

/it's like words have synonyms
2017-10-06 07:49:53 AM  
1 vote:

The Envoy: Lady J: The Envoy: Summoner101: Lady J: dyhchong: Lady J: There was a fight outside my house last night. We heard a smash of breaking glass (thrown bottle, it turns out), and then a lot of shouting and scuffling. Lord J went outside and there was a dude with a baseball bat kicking off at the little scallies who hang around the basketball court and shot w33d. Big brother of head scally came 'steaming' up the road on his electric scooter and calmly tried to defuse the siuation. I was actually really impressed. Someone must have called the cops though cos a whole bunch showed up really quickly (donut shop obvs sold out).

No real harm done in the end, thankfully, except for some glass to sweep up.

I didn't realise Fark did multi-language.

Can anyone explain how I get back to English?

Settings > Language > English (American)

let me help you out...

scally - tracksuit-sporting young man frequently in trouble with the boys in blue for petty offences
shotting weed - selling cannabis
steaming - emitting visible water vapour / very drunk / wading into a situation with enthusiasm

Were there dustbins or hooligans involved?

Scallies are hooligans, just with more man-made fibre apparel.

The bottle may have come out of a dustbin prior to its launch, but whether that bin was a wheelie bin or a fixed receptacle is currently unknown.

Ex council estate so we're not kerbside property. Hence no dustbins or wheelie bins, just those big communal bins.

I'm not sure scally and hooligan are that interchangeable... a hooligan is a yob, loud and probably violent, or at least physical.

Scallies can be a biatcheeky, even endearing. When I hear scally I always envisage a little skinny, chalkwhite yout, wearing a grey tracksuit. Head w33d shotter (see above) fits this description perfectly.

/I like words

The big bins have wheels though don't they?  Technically correct and all that!

I've always referred to scousers as scallies, but hooligan does have that whole violence and foot ...


I like that the Aussies have the anti-hoon laws.  From hooligan to hoon!  Love, love, love it!  Use it every
chance I get now.  Stop being a hoon, you little hoon.
2017-10-06 07:32:21 AM  
1 vote:
Looks like they'll have a promising career in law enforcement.
2017-10-06 07:25:59 AM  
1 vote:

CaptainSpaceJohnny: I apologize, I said accidentally above.  It was certainly intentional.  The "accident" was not realizing anyone was home.


Hardly a reason for someone to shoot at kids.
2017-10-06 07:24:38 AM  
1 vote:
USA USA.  Everyone wants to kill you, so you better be fast on the draw.
2017-10-06 07:13:01 AM  
1 vote:

vudukungfu: Scally + cider = hooligan


fair
2017-10-06 07:04:00 AM  
1 vote:

The Envoy: Summoner101: Lady J: dyhchong: Lady J: There was a fight outside my house last night. We heard a smash of breaking glass (thrown bottle, it turns out), and then a lot of shouting and scuffling. Lord J went outside and there was a dude with a baseball bat kicking off at the little scallies who hang around the basketball court and shot w33d. Big brother of head scally came 'steaming' up the road on his electric scooter and calmly tried to defuse the siuation. I was actually really impressed. Someone must have called the cops though cos a whole bunch showed up really quickly (donut shop obvs sold out).

No real harm done in the end, thankfully, except for some glass to sweep up.

I didn't realise Fark did multi-language.

Can anyone explain how I get back to English?

Settings > Language > English (American)

let me help you out...

scally - tracksuit-sporting young man frequently in trouble with the boys in blue for petty offences
shotting weed - selling cannabis
steaming - emitting visible water vapour / very drunk / wading into a situation with enthusiasm

Were there dustbins or hooligans involved?

Scallies are hooligans, just with more man-made fibre apparel.

The bottle may have come out of a dustbin prior to its launch, but whether that bin was a wheelie bin or a fixed receptacle is currently unknown.


Ex council estate so we're not kerbside property. Hence no dustbins or wheelie bins, just those big communal bins.

I'm not sure scally and hooligan are that interchangeable... a hooligan is a yob, loud and probably violent, or at least physical.

Scallies can be a biatcheeky, even endearing. When I hear scally I always envisage a little skinny, chalkwhite yout, wearing a grey tracksuit. Head w33d shotter (see above) fits this description perfectly.

/I like words
2017-10-06 06:52:08 AM  
1 vote:

backhand.slap.of.reason: anyone that should venture your property, or even into your home, is not an intruder looking to do you harm.  A staggering number of people kill their family members every year because they hurdanintruda.


jazzadvice.com

It's for the best.
2017-10-06 06:50:04 AM  
1 vote:

The Envoy: Scallies are hooligans, just with more man-made fibre apparel.

The bottle may have come out of a dustbin prior to its launch, but whether that bin was a wheelie bin or a fixed receptacle is currently unknown.


Nobody knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in London... with hooligans...
2017-10-06 06:44:38 AM  
1 vote:
Dumbshiats probably imagined it was a terrorist attack.
2017-10-06 06:39:53 AM  
1 vote:

Begoggle: More responsible gun owners.


Problem is there are a lot that aren't and at some point they will prove it.
/Gunowner
//Strive to be responsible
2017-10-06 06:35:03 AM  
1 vote:
Oregon Live ? Don't read the article or take a chance on locking up my comp for the next two hours ?
2017-10-06 06:33:31 AM  
1 vote:

Hillbilly Jim: Absolute best part of TFA

"During his interview with deputies, Smith said he could still fix Sanderson's fence."


While wearing a bulletproof vest, is my advice.
2017-10-06 06:02:33 AM  
1 vote:
I don't understand this, FTFA:
"..on suspicion of attempted assault and unlawful use of a weapon"
how is this not attempted murder?
They shot at him with guns. Not their tiny peni or confetti.

Shooting your conefetti at someone without their consent is assault. They grazed his head with a bullet. Not confetti.

This is absurd.
2017-10-06 05:46:35 AM  
1 vote:
CSB: when I was younger, I woke up one morning to find tire tracks in the front lawn, just inches away from the front of our house.  There was an intersection right near the house, and our theory is that someone must have dozed off while going through the intersection, barely missed all of the trees between the sidewalk and the front yard, woke up to see they were about to hit a house, panicked, pulled a u-turn at the last possible second, and drove off into the night.
2017-10-06 02:21:37 AM  
1 vote:
I bet we can guess which channel he was watching...
 
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