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(Politico)   John Kelly finds out why his phone is acting weird   ( politico.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, President of the United States, White House, staff John Kelly, Mobile phone, President Donald Trump, Donald Trump, White House chief, personal cell phone  
•       •       •

10658 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2017 at 4:55 AM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2017-10-06 02:29:38 AM  
43 votes:
I'm glad that my phone is totally unhacked.

Россия потрясающая.  путин - человек
Posted from my Lenovo Laptop
2017-10-06 05:41:49 AM  
13 votes:

thisispete: irvingsmiley: As I have said elsewhere on the intarwebs, the rest of the world is either laughing at us or shaking their heads at us. All of us, every US citizen. I live overseas now, and I have personal experience to show for this.

I'm a foreigner. All 7.2 billion of us got together behind your backs and we pretty much all agree you guys are crazy.

Seriously, Trump doesn't command a lot of respect. He doesn't respect any previous deals and doesn't get that you can't shake up the international order like an etch-a-sketch without garnering resentment. The rest of the world seems to have decided to work around him and wait him out until the pendulum swings back into sanity-ville.


I don't know. I don't think we can trust you with the keys to the world anymore. First you crash the worlds economy then the nice mechanic you hire to fix it can't do anything because you tie his hands because you can't get over that he is a black man telling you what to do. It's finally working again and you hand it over to the tweaker that says he can make it goes fast by unhooking the brakes and loosening the wheels . Now he's screaming from the hood like the Fury Road guitarist as you careen down the road about to crash into Korea town or the Pita Pit.
2017-10-06 04:56:54 AM  
12 votes:
The Fappening 3: The West Wing Edition.
2017-10-06 05:49:32 AM  
11 votes:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: Its his personal phone, which he doesn't use much or even at all since being issued a government phone. And there's no reason to believe he had anything work-related on the phone or kept the phone at his office in the White House.

Great big nothingburger. But please do tell us how this couldn't or wouldn't have happened under an Obama or Clinton administration so we can laugh in your face.


Jesus, what did that strawman do to you that you had to beat it like that?
2017-10-06 05:39:12 AM  
11 votes:
Someone totally stole all of his Farmville cash!
2017-10-06 05:46:32 AM  
10 votes:
img.fark.net
2017-10-06 05:13:36 AM  
10 votes:
How farking incompetent are these chucklekfarks???

"Hey I'm a big Mr Somebody with a big job in a big country with lots of big enemies, my primary source of communication with my other Mr Somebodies has been acting really really strange lately, must be nothing important"

Seriously??? What was the farking holdup? He still had a year on his contract before he could upgrade???

Every time, E V E R Y god damn time I say to  my self "you know BBQ, these clowns can't possibly have any more chuckles left in their bag" I'm proven wrong.
2017-10-06 05:10:00 AM  
8 votes:
Attached is important info about President Trump, just click on the attachment called thisisnotahackbutcompromisingintel.exe.zip
2017-10-06 09:11:16 AM  
6 votes:
Kelly: Every time I turn my phone on, the screen is full of gibberish.
IT Guy: Uh, sir, your phone is fine. That's just President Trump's Twitter feed.
Kelly: Goddamnitsomuch!
2017-10-06 11:21:08 AM  
4 votes:

hashtag.acronym: IMHO, the reason we have Trump is because we have a two-party system and our choices are Retard and Demwit.  I wish more political parties would take off in America.  We really need more political diversity to prevent this from happening again.


img.fark.net

How YOU doin'?
2017-10-06 03:47:35 AM  
4 votes:
They're leaking unflattering stuff about Kelly? Friday news dump here we come.
2017-10-06 11:35:39 AM  
3 votes:
Trump is right.  I really am tired of all this winning.
2017-10-06 09:12:32 AM  
3 votes:

Snapper Carr: The Fappening 3: The West Wing Edition.


img.fark.net
/I get so much mileage out of so few reaction images with this dumpster fire regime.
2017-10-06 07:20:38 AM  
3 votes:

The Envoy: Next week's Tom Sawyer: I also seem to be the only one who read the article which says while several administration personnel have a problem with using personal email for government business, Kelley isn't one of them.

TFA didn't say that.  It said, "A White House official told Politico that Kelly used his government-issued phone for most communications since he joined the administration as Trump's secretary of homeland security. Kelly became chief of staff in July.
The details surrounding when, where, or how the phone was compromised, and what information might have been accessed, are all unclear,Politico reported."

I'm sure you didn't mean to lie about that and instead it was just your misunderstanding which led you to state untruths as facts just now.


But those Farklibs sure done got it stugg to 'em!
2017-10-06 06:35:49 AM  
3 votes:

backhand.slap.of.reason: Oh for fuksakè, someone please rescue us from this perdition.

I want to know who had access to his phone... There is no doubt in my mind that Russian operatives are running amok in Trump's White House.


img.fark.netYou never fail...
2017-10-06 06:21:50 AM  
3 votes:
It would be the height of stupidity if he had to pay extra data charges because the phone was constantly videoing/audio recording everything and sending it back to China/Russia.

/so that's probably what happened too
2017-10-06 05:46:39 AM  
3 votes:
Its his personal phone, which he doesn't use much or even at all since being issued a government phone. And there's no reason to believe he had anything work-related on the phone or kept the phone at his office in the White House.

Great big nothingburger. But please do tell us how this couldn't or wouldn't have happened under an Obama or Clinton administration so we can laugh in your face.
2017-10-06 12:06:01 PM  
2 votes:

HAMMERTOE: Spying upon the Trump Administration? Given the Watergate-level activities of the DNC, including the prior Administration, casting attention toward Russia seems like a weak diversion at best.


Oh shiat, THIS guy.
2017-10-06 07:26:37 AM  
2 votes:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: Its his personal phone, which he doesn't use much or even at all since being issued a government phone. And there's no reason to believe he had anything work-related on the phone or kept the phone at his office in the White House.

Great big nothingburger. But please do tell us how this couldn't or wouldn't have happened under an Obama or Clinton administration so we can laugh in your face.


Lol, not sure if trolling, or typical Trump supporter...7/10.

/well
//oiled
///machine
2017-10-06 06:31:50 AM  
2 votes:
Should have gotten an iPhone.

COME AT ME BRO!
2017-10-06 05:42:45 AM  
2 votes:

irvingsmiley: puffy999: lucksi: wax_on: Is there anything this administration can not totally fark up?

grifting

Hell they've probably boned that, too.

Rats, beat me to it.  8-)


Hey if there is an administration that knows about boners, this is it.
2017-10-06 05:35:35 AM  
2 votes:

lucksi: wax_on: Is there anything this administration can not totally fark up?

grifting


Hell they've probably boned that, too.
2017-10-06 11:53:21 AM  
1 vote:

irvingsmiley: As I have said elsewhere on the intarwebs, the rest of the world is either laughing at us or shaking their heads at us. All of us, every US citizen. I live overseas now, and I have personal experience to show for this.


our overseas correspondent ric romero, everyone
2017-10-06 10:25:16 AM  
1 vote:

Summoner101: An administration that can't even enact routine IT security.


He needs to get Barron working on this. Remember he's very good at cyber
2017-10-06 09:23:20 AM  
1 vote:

HAMMERTOE: Spying upon the Trump Administration? Given the Watergate-level activities of the DNC, including the prior Administration, casting attention toward Russia seems like a weak diversion at best.


I hope you're seeing a doctor for your extreme mental issues.
2017-10-06 09:12:44 AM  
1 vote:
Spying upon the Trump Administration? Given the Watergate-level activities of the DNC, including the prior Administration, casting attention toward Russia seems like a weak diversion at best.
2017-10-06 08:47:17 AM  
1 vote:
Why do I get the feeling they found a text macro that automatically types, "What the fark did you do now?!"
2017-10-06 08:38:51 AM  
1 vote:

thisispete: I'm a foreigner. All 7.2 billion of us got together behind your backs and we pretty much all agree you guys are crazy.

Seriously, Trump doesn't command a lot of respect. He doesn't respect any previous deals and doesn't get that you can't shake up the international order like an etch-a-sketch without garnering resentment. The rest of the world seems to have decided to work around him and wait him out until the pendulum swings back into sanity-ville.


I'm a 'mercin and I don't think you should do that.  What would happen if every major government in the world publicly stated "we won't work with that guy"?  I'm not sure what would happen, but it would be a beautiful thing.
2017-10-06 08:08:02 AM  
1 vote:

davidphogan: I'm glad that my phone is totally unhacked.

Россия потрясающая.  путин - человек
Posted from my Lenovo Laptop


America is amazing.  Trump is a wonderful man.
Posted from my Elbrus Laptop.
2017-10-06 08:05:47 AM  
1 vote:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: What untruths? He used his government phone (the one that WASNT popped) for most communications. I'm betting that meant personal communications too because who carries two phones unless you have to? Which means it's highly likely nothing substantive was on his personal device. And "we don't know what was on the device" is farktard speak for "we didn't find anything."

Christ you people want to make a mountain of this molehill? Fine, don't ever farking talk to me about criticism of Hillary's emails because this doesn't even rise to that nothingburger.


Jimmies rustled much?!

Your bet notwithstanding, most people carry two phones - business and personal.  In fact, TFA clearly implies Kelley carried two, otherwise why the investigation as Politico reported?  Also, I think it's safe to say that most of the WH aides carry two phones - hence the memo encouraging minimising use of personal phones at work, or even locking them in lockers.  You know, the thing TFA, which you claim to have read, said?

I'm not even going to go in to the fact that "most communications" clearly does not mean "all communications", another clear implication that he did indeed use his personal device for at least some government communications.

So, what we have are a whole load of your assumptions, liberally sprinkled with some lapses in reading comprehension.  And lest anybody forget, you're claiming that your assumptions (the aforementioned untruths) are indeed facts:  

Next week's Tom Sawyer: But hey, facts you know.

2017-10-06 07:50:43 AM  
1 vote:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: dracos31: Next week's Tom Sawyer: Its his personal phone, which he doesn't use much or even at all since being issued a government phone. And there's no reason to believe he had anything work-related on the phone or kept the phone at his office in the White House.

Great big nothingburger. But please do tell us how this couldn't or wouldn't have happened under an Obama or Clinton administration so we can laugh in your face.

Jesus, what did that strawman do to you that you had to beat it like that?

You know "straw man" means something other than "argument I can't refute", yes?


Tommy boy, allow me to explain why this is not a "nothingburger".

So Kelly uses his secured, government issued phone for government business.  No big deal.

Kelly keeps his personal device in his pocket... or out on his desk.  His family have dealt with him being in government service for decades.  Quick question: Which number do you think his friends and family call or text?

Now, if the device is compromised with a form of spyware that opens the microphone and/or activates the camera, everything being said in that office is being transmitted back to the home servers that the spyware originated from.  Even if the device was compromised by private actors, what are the odds of these private actors monetizing that data by selling it to hostile national actors?

Just the potential that the in office conversations of the WH Chief of Staff and former Secretary of Homeland Security could be in the hands of a foreign spy service is disturbing.  After all, the Russian FSB managed to get a boatload of data about our cyber protection and attack plans from the NSA because some moron contractor decided to take files home and work on them... and his home machine was compromised by a back door in the copy of Kaspersky Labs security software.

People used to think I was paranoid because if I was doing work at home, I used a computer that had no modem or network card installed and encrypted the media the files were on.  When finished, the media was subjected to a 7 pass wipe, a big damn electromagnet AND then reformatted.
2017-10-06 07:29:57 AM  
1 vote:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: personal devices not used for government business


I think I found the flaw in your analysis :)
2017-10-06 06:55:38 AM  
1 vote:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: I also seem to be the only one who read the article which says while several administration personnel have a problem with using personal email for government business, Kelley isn't one of them.


TFA didn't say that.  It said, "A White House official told Politico that Kelly used his government-issued phone for most communications since he joined the administration as Trump's secretary of homeland security. Kelly became chief of staff in July.
The details surrounding when, where, or how the phone was compromised, and what information might have been accessed, are all unclear,Politico reported."

I'm sure you didn't mean to lie about that and instead it was just your misunderstanding which led you to state untruths as facts just now.
2017-10-06 06:35:30 AM  
1 vote:

dracos31: Next week's Tom Sawyer: Its his personal phone, which he doesn't use much or even at all since being issued a government phone. And there's no reason to believe he had anything work-related on the phone or kept the phone at his office in the White House.

Great big nothingburger. But please do tell us how this couldn't or wouldn't have happened under an Obama or Clinton administration so we can laugh in your face.

Jesus, what did that strawman do to you that you had to beat it like that?


Excuse me, but you missed how that strawman was toting a tu quoque.
2017-10-06 06:28:21 AM  
1 vote:
"My cellphone often asks me to speak up.  Strange thing I wasn't using my cellphone.  I always spoke up."

This made-up quote probably isn't far from reality.
2017-10-06 06:23:20 AM  
1 vote:

Summoner101: An administration that can't even enact routine IT security.


who knew hacking could be so complicated?
2017-10-06 06:15:25 AM  
1 vote:
Android, I'm assuming? Given the fact that every other app in the Android store seems to have been created by someone with a name like Xiong Liaopiaddong, isn't it safe to say nearly every Android phone is chock-full-o-malware?
2017-10-06 05:40:14 AM  
1 vote:

puffy999: lucksi: wax_on: Is there anything this administration can not totally fark up?

grifting

Hell they've probably boned that, too.


Rats, beat me to it.  8-)
2017-10-06 05:39:36 AM  
1 vote:

lucksi: wax_on: Is there anything this administration can not totally fark up?

grifting


Nah, they are farking that up, too.
2017-10-06 05:31:47 AM  
1 vote:

wax_on: Is there anything this administration can not totally fark up?


grifting
 
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