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(Politico)   John Kelly finds out why his phone is acting weird   ( politico.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, President of the United States, White House, staff John Kelly, Mobile phone, President Donald Trump, Donald Trump, White House chief, personal cell phone  
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10642 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2017 at 4:55 AM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2017-10-06 05:13:36 AM  
37 votes:
How farking incompetent are these chucklekfarks???

"Hey I'm a big Mr Somebody with a big job in a big country with lots of big enemies, my primary source of communication with my other Mr Somebodies has been acting really really strange lately, must be nothing important"

Seriously??? What was the farking holdup? He still had a year on his contract before he could upgrade???

Every time, E V E R Y god damn time I say to  my self "you know BBQ, these clowns can't possibly have any more chuckles left in their bag" I'm proven wrong.
2017-10-06 05:16:58 AM  
30 votes:

irvingsmiley: As I have said elsewhere on the intarwebs, the rest of the world is either laughing at us or shaking their heads at us. All of us, every US citizen. I live overseas now, and I have personal experience to show for this.


I'm a foreigner. All 7.2 billion of us got together behind your backs and we pretty much all agree you guys are crazy.

Seriously, Trump doesn't command a lot of respect. He doesn't respect any previous deals and doesn't get that you can't shake up the international order like an etch-a-sketch without garnering resentment. The rest of the world seems to have decided to work around him and wait him out until the pendulum swings back into sanity-ville.
2017-10-06 05:00:36 AM  
28 votes:
As I have said elsewhere on the intarwebs, the rest of the world is either laughing at us or shaking their heads at us. All of us, every US citizen. I live overseas now, and I have personal experience to show for this.
2017-10-06 05:49:32 AM  
26 votes:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: Its his personal phone, which he doesn't use much or even at all since being issued a government phone. And there's no reason to believe he had anything work-related on the phone or kept the phone at his office in the White House.

Great big nothingburger. But please do tell us how this couldn't or wouldn't have happened under an Obama or Clinton administration so we can laugh in your face.


Jesus, what did that strawman do to you that you had to beat it like that?
2017-10-06 03:47:35 AM  
26 votes:
They're leaking unflattering stuff about Kelly? Friday news dump here we come.
2017-10-06 05:41:49 AM  
24 votes:

thisispete: irvingsmiley: As I have said elsewhere on the intarwebs, the rest of the world is either laughing at us or shaking their heads at us. All of us, every US citizen. I live overseas now, and I have personal experience to show for this.

I'm a foreigner. All 7.2 billion of us got together behind your backs and we pretty much all agree you guys are crazy.

Seriously, Trump doesn't command a lot of respect. He doesn't respect any previous deals and doesn't get that you can't shake up the international order like an etch-a-sketch without garnering resentment. The rest of the world seems to have decided to work around him and wait him out until the pendulum swings back into sanity-ville.


I don't know. I don't think we can trust you with the keys to the world anymore. First you crash the worlds economy then the nice mechanic you hire to fix it can't do anything because you tie his hands because you can't get over that he is a black man telling you what to do. It's finally working again and you hand it over to the tweaker that says he can make it goes fast by unhooking the brakes and loosening the wheels . Now he's screaming from the hood like the Fury Road guitarist as you careen down the road about to crash into Korea town or the Pita Pit.
2017-10-06 02:33:23 AM  
21 votes:
And he's supposed to be one of the "adults". We are so boned.
2017-10-06 05:06:18 AM  
18 votes:
Why are personal phones allowed near anything classified? We weren't allowed to take them into the datacentre I used to work in.
2017-10-06 05:31:47 AM  
14 votes:

wax_on: Is there anything this administration can not totally fark up?


grifting
2017-10-06 06:22:32 AM  
11 votes:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: dracos31: Next week's Tom Sawyer: Its his personal phone, which he doesn't use much or even at all since being issued a government phone. And there's no reason to believe he had anything work-related on the phone or kept the phone at his office in the White House.

Great big nothingburger. But please do tell us how this couldn't or wouldn't have happened under an Obama or Clinton administration so we can laugh in your face.

Jesus, what did that strawman do to you that you had to beat it like that?

You know "straw man" means something other than "argument I can't refute", yes?


Maybe to someone with a lick of common sense.  You on the other hand...
2017-10-06 06:55:38 AM  
10 votes:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: I also seem to be the only one who read the article which says while several administration personnel have a problem with using personal email for government business, Kelley isn't one of them.


TFA didn't say that.  It said, "A White House official told Politico that Kelly used his government-issued phone for most communications since he joined the administration as Trump's secretary of homeland security. Kelly became chief of staff in July.
The details surrounding when, where, or how the phone was compromised, and what information might have been accessed, are all unclear,Politico reported."

I'm sure you didn't mean to lie about that and instead it was just your misunderstanding which led you to state untruths as facts just now.
2017-10-06 06:15:25 AM  
10 votes:
Android, I'm assuming? Given the fact that every other app in the Android store seems to have been created by someone with a name like Xiong Liaopiaddong, isn't it safe to say nearly every Android phone is chock-full-o-malware?
2017-10-06 07:50:43 AM  
9 votes:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: dracos31: Next week's Tom Sawyer: Its his personal phone, which he doesn't use much or even at all since being issued a government phone. And there's no reason to believe he had anything work-related on the phone or kept the phone at his office in the White House.

Great big nothingburger. But please do tell us how this couldn't or wouldn't have happened under an Obama or Clinton administration so we can laugh in your face.

Jesus, what did that strawman do to you that you had to beat it like that?

You know "straw man" means something other than "argument I can't refute", yes?


Tommy boy, allow me to explain why this is not a "nothingburger".

So Kelly uses his secured, government issued phone for government business.  No big deal.

Kelly keeps his personal device in his pocket... or out on his desk.  His family have dealt with him being in government service for decades.  Quick question: Which number do you think his friends and family call or text?

Now, if the device is compromised with a form of spyware that opens the microphone and/or activates the camera, everything being said in that office is being transmitted back to the home servers that the spyware originated from.  Even if the device was compromised by private actors, what are the odds of these private actors monetizing that data by selling it to hostile national actors?

Just the potential that the in office conversations of the WH Chief of Staff and former Secretary of Homeland Security could be in the hands of a foreign spy service is disturbing.  After all, the Russian FSB managed to get a boatload of data about our cyber protection and attack plans from the NSA because some moron contractor decided to take files home and work on them... and his home machine was compromised by a back door in the copy of Kaspersky Labs security software.

People used to think I was paranoid because if I was doing work at home, I used a computer that had no modem or network card installed and encrypted the media the files were on.  When finished, the media was subjected to a 7 pass wipe, a big damn electromagnet AND then reformatted.
2017-10-06 05:14:56 AM  
9 votes:
An administration that can't even enact routine IT security.
2017-10-06 06:04:55 AM  
7 votes:
Oh for fuksakè, someone please rescue us from this perdition.

I want to know who had access to his phone... There is no doubt in my mind that Russian operatives are running amok in Trump's White House.
2017-10-06 05:35:35 AM  
6 votes:

lucksi: wax_on: Is there anything this administration can not totally fark up?

grifting


Hell they've probably boned that, too.
2017-10-06 05:13:53 AM  
5 votes:

irvingsmiley: As I have said elsewhere on the intarwebs, the rest of the world is either laughing at us or shaking their heads at us. All of us, every US citizen. I live overseas now, and I have personal experience to show for this.


This is too true. It also gets tedious having to answer questions about this idiot's behavior on a weekly basis.

Safe to say the Japanese are solidly in the "Fark this guy camp." It's easy to see why.
2017-10-06 08:05:47 AM  
4 votes:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: What untruths? He used his government phone (the one that WASNT popped) for most communications. I'm betting that meant personal communications too because who carries two phones unless you have to? Which means it's highly likely nothing substantive was on his personal device. And "we don't know what was on the device" is farktard speak for "we didn't find anything."

Christ you people want to make a mountain of this molehill? Fine, don't ever farking talk to me about criticism of Hillary's emails because this doesn't even rise to that nothingburger.


Jimmies rustled much?!

Your bet notwithstanding, most people carry two phones - business and personal.  In fact, TFA clearly implies Kelley carried two, otherwise why the investigation as Politico reported?  Also, I think it's safe to say that most of the WH aides carry two phones - hence the memo encouraging minimising use of personal phones at work, or even locking them in lockers.  You know, the thing TFA, which you claim to have read, said?

I'm not even going to go in to the fact that "most communications" clearly does not mean "all communications", another clear implication that he did indeed use his personal device for at least some government communications.

So, what we have are a whole load of your assumptions, liberally sprinkled with some lapses in reading comprehension.  And lest anybody forget, you're claiming that your assumptions (the aforementioned untruths) are indeed facts:  

Next week's Tom Sawyer: But hey, facts you know.

2017-10-06 06:54:50 AM  
4 votes:

The Soupman Cumeth: backhand.slap.of.reason: Oh for fuksakè, someone please rescue us from this perdition.

I want to know who had access to his phone... There is no doubt in my mind that Russian operatives are running amok in Trump's White House.

[img.fark.net image 425x288]You never fail...


It's hard to disagree with the idea that those responsible for breaching security of a high ranking political figure in the USA are Russian operatives.

Have you paid attention to what they've been doing, or have you just swept it all aside by saying anyone raising concerns over Russian activities are just crazy trying to ascribe all issues to Russia? If so go ahead and tag me as Everything is Russia as well, because since the election last year it's been looking a lot like everything has been Russia. Although I'll leave the door open for it being Chinese, or Israeli's, or Merkel. But it's likely Russia. They've compromised everything, it seems.
2017-10-06 06:35:30 AM  
4 votes:

dracos31: Next week's Tom Sawyer: Its his personal phone, which he doesn't use much or even at all since being issued a government phone. And there's no reason to believe he had anything work-related on the phone or kept the phone at his office in the White House.

Great big nothingburger. But please do tell us how this couldn't or wouldn't have happened under an Obama or Clinton administration so we can laugh in your face.

Jesus, what did that strawman do to you that you had to beat it like that?


Excuse me, but you missed how that strawman was toting a tu quoque.
2017-10-06 05:21:38 AM  
4 votes:
Is there anything this administration can not totally fark up?
2017-10-06 11:21:08 AM  
3 votes:

hashtag.acronym: IMHO, the reason we have Trump is because we have a two-party system and our choices are Retard and Demwit.  I wish more political parties would take off in America.  We really need more political diversity to prevent this from happening again.


img.fark.net

How YOU doin'?
2017-10-06 08:06:23 AM  
3 votes:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: What untruths? He used his government phone (the one that WASNT popped) for most communications. I'm betting that meant personal communications too because who carries two phones unless you have to? Which means it's highly likely nothing substantive was on his personal device. And "we don't know what was on the device" is farktard speak for "we didn't find anything."

Christ you people want to make a mountain of this molehill? Fine, don't ever farking talk to me about criticism of Hillary's emails because this doesn't even rise to that nothingburger.


Anyone that has spent as much time in government service as Kelly has will carry a personal and a work device.  Hell, I used to carry a plain old Nokia candy-bar phone for business and a Samsung flip for personal.  At the office, my personal phone sat in a lock box in the bottom drawer of my filing cabinet, which was also locked.  The devices would change places when I was on break or at lunch.  My family and friends were never provided the work number and the only one at work that had my personal number was my boss.

Even when I went over to smartphones, I make a point to never use them on unknown or open networks.  If I have to spend time waiting for someone or something and want to amuse myself, I keep a cheap 7" Android tablet for use on open networks.  I never use it on my home network to avoid even the potential of contaminating any device on that network.
2017-10-06 06:51:39 AM  
3 votes:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: Guybird: Next week's Tom Sawyer: dracos31: Next week's Tom Sawyer: Its his personal phone, which he doesn't use much or even at all since being issued a government phone. And there's no reason to believe he had anything work-related on the phone or kept the phone at his office in the White House.

Great big nothingburger. But please do tell us how this couldn't or wouldn't have happened under an Obama or Clinton administration so we can laugh in your face.

Jesus, what did that strawman do to you that you had to beat it like that?

You know "straw man" means something other than "argument I can't refute", yes?

Maybe to someone with a lick of common sense.  You on the other hand...

Right, I'm the only one not jumping on the "hurrr durrr incompetence" bandwagon because I know a thing or two about mobile security and how personal devices not used for government business are completely out of the purview of government security policies. I also seem to be the only one who read the article which says while several administration personnel have a problem with using personal email for government business, Kelley isn't one of them.

But hey, facts you know. Don't let them get in the way. And attack anyone who brings them up, right? Christ, where did all the smart farkers go?


You act like 90% of government officials don't just do whatever the hell they want and tell their lackeys to deal with it. All of them like to use their own private email systems and a large number of them prefer their own particular cell phone over a blackberry. Just because we know that it's all bad security practices doesn't mean they don't have the clout to ignore it.
2017-10-06 06:40:25 AM  
3 votes:
Staffers reviewed the cellphone for several days and tried to decipher what had happened to it, the officials said. Many functions on the phone were not working.  The IT department concluded the phone had been compromised and should not be used further, according to the memo.

This sounds like a Geek Squad diagnosis.  "We don't know why many functions aren't functioning so you must have been hacked."

Pretty sure state-sponsored hackers avoid leaving such obvious evidence that something's not right.
2017-10-06 06:15:41 AM  
3 votes:

backhand.slap.of.reason: Oh for fuksakè, someone please rescue us from this perdition.

I want to know who had access to his phone... There is no doubt in my mind that Russian operatives are running amok in Trump's White House.


The Russians are having a secret occupation in plain site, basically.
2017-10-06 05:42:45 AM  
3 votes:

irvingsmiley: puffy999: lucksi: wax_on: Is there anything this administration can not totally fark up?

grifting

Hell they've probably boned that, too.

Rats, beat me to it.  8-)


Hey if there is an administration that knows about boners, this is it.
2017-10-06 05:39:36 AM  
3 votes:

lucksi: wax_on: Is there anything this administration can not totally fark up?

grifting


Nah, they are farking that up, too.
2017-10-06 05:03:04 AM  
3 votes:

Tanqueray: They're leaking unflattering stuff about Kelly? Friday news dump here we come.


But his emails. He's gone.
2017-10-06 06:18:21 AM  
2 votes:

thisispete: The rest of the world seems to have decided to work around him and wait him out until the pendulum swings back into sanity-ville.


Unfortunately, Obama ain't coming out of retirement. Mores the pity...
2017-10-06 11:26:41 AM  
1 vote:

lucksi: wax_on: Is there anything this administration can not totally fark up?

grifting


Come on, if they were actually good at grifting, we wouldn't know about it until the entire cheeto-crusted, gilt-foiled clan was on their personal jet and well out of the country with their Billions safely converted into gold, gems, and foreign real estate.

Noooo, WE GET A 71 year old Manchild with his arm up to the goddamned elbow in the Cookie Jar who then pitches a tantrum if he's called out on it.

Incompetent notwits* can't even grift properly.

*not a typo
2017-10-06 11:03:22 AM  
1 vote:
img.discogs.com
2017-10-06 09:23:20 AM  
1 vote:

HAMMERTOE: Spying upon the Trump Administration? Given the Watergate-level activities of the DNC, including the prior Administration, casting attention toward Russia seems like a weak diversion at best.


I hope you're seeing a doctor for your extreme mental issues.
2017-10-06 09:21:08 AM  
1 vote:

Truck Fump: But put that all aside, if you can, and realize that Trump does not represent every American, and probably not most Americans. Like you, we're stuck with him for the rest of his term. And, like you, we can only hope to limit the damage he does in that time.


A lot of us do appreciate that. I've been to the US myself and I like Americans. I studied US history at university and your politics can't really be avoided on places like Fark or Reddit. To be honest, the baroque nature of the electoral college itself doesn't really seem like a sane electoral system to me. And I'm conscious of the issues that illustrate a remarkable lack of national consensus across a slew if issues - life and death stuff.

Just about every day Trump's utterances and tweets are reported in our evening news, in the papers and online. Maybe it's not as frequent in countries were English isn't the first language.

Maybe this is a good thing and we decide the US isn't the indispensable nation that it became in WW2 and we learn to become a bit more resilient in looking after our own, but things just seem awfully risky right now.
2017-10-06 08:47:59 AM  
1 vote:

irvingsmiley: As I have said elsewhere on the intarwebs, the rest of the world is either laughing at us or shaking their heads at us. All of us, every US citizen. I live overseas now, and I have personal experience to show for this.


Yeah but until they quit buying our shiat and coming over here for holiday, they are helping prop this up.

If the rest of the world wants to help, they need to be treating the US like South Africa in the 80s and disinvesting.
2017-10-06 08:42:07 AM  
1 vote:

thisispete: irvingsmiley: As I have said elsewhere on the intarwebs, the rest of the world is either laughing at us or shaking their heads at us. All of us, every US citizen. I live overseas now, and I have personal experience to show for this.

I'm a foreigner. All 7.2 billion of us got together behind your backs and we pretty much all agree you guys are crazy.

Seriously, Trump doesn't command a lot of respect. He doesn't respect any previous deals and doesn't get that you can't shake up the international order like an etch-a-sketch without garnering resentment. The rest of the world seems to have decided to work around him and wait him out until the pendulum swings back into sanity-ville.


As an American, I really can't blame you for feeling that way.  Were I in your place, I would be feeling the same way.

All I ask, is that you understand that our election process doesn't reflect the will of the American people, it reflects the will of (in most cases) slightly over 50% of those who chose to vote. Now, whether more of us should have gotten off our lazy fat asses and gone out to vote, is a valid question for you to ask, as is how this cheeto-colored shiatgibbon managed to climb to the top of the pile of candidates for one of our two parties.

But put that all aside, if you can, and realize that Trump does not represent every American, and probably not most Americans.  Like you, we're stuck with him for the rest of his term. And, like you, we can only hope to limit the damage he does in that time.
2017-10-06 07:29:57 AM  
1 vote:

Next week's Tom Sawyer: personal devices not used for government business


I think I found the flaw in your analysis :)
2017-10-06 06:47:34 AM  
1 vote:
I expect nothing less with this administration.
2017-10-06 06:40:58 AM  
1 vote:

Wyalt Derp: Why are personal phones allowed near anything classified? We weren't allowed to take them into the datacentre I used to work in.


Years ago when they started to put cameras in phones the account I was working at made us put them in our cars or supervisors desk. And they were not even a security firm, they were a non profit.
2017-10-06 06:38:15 AM  
1 vote:

The Soupman Cumeth: Should have gotten an iPhone.

COME AT ME BRO!


No point in coming after you. Your iPhone is too slow to keep up with today's Androids, anyway. hell, my mid-range LG G6 could stomp all over any iPhone.

Sad.
2017-10-06 06:35:49 AM  
1 vote:

backhand.slap.of.reason: Oh for fuksakè, someone please rescue us from this perdition.

I want to know who had access to his phone... There is no doubt in my mind that Russian operatives are running amok in Trump's White House.


img.fark.netYou never fail...
2017-10-06 06:33:44 AM  
1 vote:

puffy999: [img.fark.net image 302x357]


Serious question:

Anyone know if that gif is an original comic panel or if it's been altered?
2017-10-06 06:31:50 AM  
1 vote:
Should have gotten an iPhone.

COME AT ME BRO!
2017-10-06 06:31:47 AM  
1 vote:

Guybird: Next week's Tom Sawyer: dracos31: Next week's Tom Sawyer: Its his personal phone, which he doesn't use much or even at all since being issued a government phone. And there's no reason to believe he had anything work-related on the phone or kept the phone at his office in the White House.

Great big nothingburger. But please do tell us how this couldn't or wouldn't have happened under an Obama or Clinton administration so we can laugh in your face.

Jesus, what did that strawman do to you that you had to beat it like that?

You know "straw man" means something other than "argument I can't refute", yes?

Maybe to someone with a lick of common sense.  You on the other hand...


Right, I'm the only one not jumping on the "hurrr durrr incompetence" bandwagon because I know a thing or two about mobile security and how personal devices not used for government business are completely out of the purview of government security policies. I also seem to be the only one who read the article which says while several administration personnel have a problem with using personal email for government business, Kelley isn't one of them.

But hey, facts you know. Don't let them get in the way. And attack anyone who brings them up, right? Christ, where did all the smart farkers go?
2017-10-06 06:21:50 AM  
1 vote:
It would be the height of stupidity if he had to pay extra data charges because the phone was constantly videoing/audio recording everything and sending it back to China/Russia.

/so that's probably what happened too
2017-10-06 05:46:39 AM  
1 vote:
Its his personal phone, which he doesn't use much or even at all since being issued a government phone. And there's no reason to believe he had anything work-related on the phone or kept the phone at his office in the White House.

Great big nothingburger. But please do tell us how this couldn't or wouldn't have happened under an Obama or Clinton administration so we can laugh in your face.
2017-10-06 05:10:00 AM  
1 vote:
Attached is important info about President Trump, just click on the attachment called thisisnotahackbutcompromisingintel.exe.zip
2017-10-06 04:56:54 AM  
1 vote:
The Fappening 3: The West Wing Edition.
 
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