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(Riverfront Times)   Middle school janitor calls the police about a tampon   ( riverfronttimes.com) divider line
    More: Silly, feminine hygiene product, Feminine hygiene, Sanitary napkin, Hygiene, Toilet, bloody toilet bowl, Wednesday night, Clear Channel Communications  
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5812 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2017 at 8:25 AM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2017-10-06 09:27:10 AM  
16 votes:
www.oddee.com
2017-10-06 08:35:48 AM  
16 votes:

Jake Havechek: Where I work, the most common problems are clogged toilets in the men's room, and diarrhea that gets sprayed on the wall behind the toilet in the women's room.


Back in 93 when I worked at Food Lion, someone totally shiattied up the women's room. Best in can describe it, is that they stood at the entrance to the stall and fired a shiat cannon. It wasn't even a shiat blunderbuss, but a full on shiat cannon. There was a LOT of it. On the floor, all over the toilet, and across the three walls up to about 4 feet high. I have no idea how a human body could have produced that much shiat. Or why they decided a Food Lion bathroom was the place to do it.

Also someone once stuck a turd to the wall in the men's room. Just a turd hanging out on the wall. Like a friendly spider. If spiders were made from poo.
2017-10-06 09:02:30 AM  
13 votes:
This seems appropriate ...

img.fark.net
2017-10-06 02:50:21 AM  
8 votes:
Most of you have had a life-long education on caretakers

img.fark.net
2017-10-06 02:40:00 AM  
7 votes:
I worked at a taco and sub shop that was frequented by very drunk college students late at night.

This would have been better than some of the shiat I had to clean up.  Women's bathrooms were terrible.  I have no idea how you can miss a toilet when you're taking a shiat, but the people who used dirty tampons to write on the wall were the worst.

I mean, dudes are farked up, but at least they just pee on the seat.
2017-10-06 09:50:41 AM  
6 votes:
img.fark.net
2017-10-06 09:07:12 AM  
6 votes:
img.fark.net
2017-10-06 07:12:59 AM  
6 votes:
Wait until he checks the dumpster after the prom
2017-10-06 09:22:49 AM  
5 votes:
img.fark.net
Fetuses! Fetuses everywhere!!!
2017-10-06 01:31:41 PM  
4 votes:

Jake Havechek: MythDragon:

That definitely beats the shiatty sweatpants and panties incident.  20 years ago, when I worked in a high-rise, a person on the 32nd floor called to report a foul odor coming from the stairwell, as the door was close to their cube.  A supervisor was sent, opened the stairwell door and a pair of brown stained panties was in the corner of the landing, several dried brown puddles and smears on the floor, and on the bottom step of the stairs before the next landing, a severely brown stained pair of sweatpants and two pair of stained socks.  And above all, an abominable stomach churning stench.

You don't need to be a detective to know what happened, but the main question in our minds was, unless the person happened to have a change of clothes with them, how did they leave the building?


That would have been a marvelous Encyclopedia Brown story
2017-10-06 08:49:19 AM  
4 votes:
MythDragon:

That definitely beats the shiatty sweatpants and panties incident.  20 years ago, when I worked in a high-rise, a person on the 32nd floor called to report a foul odor coming from the stairwell, as the door was close to their cube.  A supervisor was sent, opened the stairwell door and a pair of brown stained panties was in the corner of the landing, several dried brown puddles and smears on the floor, and on the bottom step of the stairs before the next landing, a severely brown stained pair of sweatpants and two pair of stained socks.  And above all, an abominable stomach churning stench.

You don't need to be a detective to know what happened, but the main question in our minds was, unless the person happened to have a change of clothes with them, how did they leave the building?
2017-10-06 08:35:07 AM  
4 votes:

davidphogan: I worked at a taco and sub shop that was frequented by very drunk college students late at night.

This would have been better than some of the shiat I had to clean up.  Women's bathrooms were terrible.  I have no idea how you can miss a toilet when you're taking a shiat, but the people who used dirty tampons to write on the wall were the worst.

I mean, dudes are farked up, but at least they just pee on the seat.


Women, in their prissiness, are too often afraid to admit everybody has bodily functions or that they are in a process of theirs, or good forbid their pristine buttocks touch a toilet seat, etc.

Ironically that purity obsession results in them being even filthier. Flushing tampons to avoid being seen in a trash can, hovering over toilet seats, making themselves uncomfortable by holding in a poop for ridiculous amounts of time.

Crazy.

And no it isn't all women, but as a fellow bathroom cleaner in the past, and having had female roommates, you ladies are ridiculous.
2017-10-06 09:07:49 AM  
3 votes:
img.fark.net
2017-10-06 06:56:36 AM  
3 votes:

SpaceyCat: bigfatbuddhist: I've found that women are more likely to "hover" in a public restroom...

Yep.  Unless there are those paper seat cover thingies available or I've brought my own cleaning supplies, I'm not putting my ass on some of those seats.  I know drunken clumsiness, but damn....


Well, having the same hygiene as a feral hog, I tend to sit...
2017-10-06 02:53:31 AM  
3 votes:
"If you have a daughter that attends our middle school, I would talk with them, try to be honest with them, see what they have to say and just, you know, make sure that they're alright and they seem OK."

And tell them not to throw their used tampons in the farking toilet.
2017-10-06 03:48:59 PM  
2 votes:

ElizaDoolittle: fusillade762:
And tell them not to throw their used tampons in the farking toilet.

Please explain where they should dispose of used bloody tampons 5 days out of 28 on average, arsehole.  Because the toilet is exactly where I threw my used tampons back when I had periods.  Some countries don't have adequate toilets: they ask you to put tampons in the provided bins. That is a problem of their sanitary systems, not female bodies.

Incidentally, since you seem to think that menstruating women are disgusting and fark up toilets: When I lived in Mexico, the signs said that the toilets could not handle used toilet paper. We were asked to dispose of our TP in the bin provided.

That's right.  Anyone who took a shiat had to wrap their used TP and put it in the bin.  It's sort of disgusting when you think about people pooping.  And they do it every day!!  Even worse, about half of them are men.  Where's the outrage about this?

Billions of people doing what comes naturally, what keeps us alive (pooping) and what keeps the species alive (women ovulating), and you have a hang up that women menstruate?  It's how you got born, you dolt.


img.fark.net
2017-10-06 11:30:16 AM  
2 votes:

ArthurVandelay: As a custodian for over 16 years, listen to my proof of authority!

Gals, holy shiat, they can either be the cleanest or the messiest in those restrooms.  I've noticed it tends to rely on the factor of "group restrooming" than anything else.

At wondercon (twice) and two winter wonderlands (raves) I was assigned to a mens/womens restroom area.  So I decided to keep track of dirtyness.

Men, these folks tend to be just nasty in general.  Not out of malice though, they just seem to "not care" about the restroom experience other than "Don't look at my dick!"  It was fun watching them be awkward at the sinks, many avoided washing hands altogether. (gross if you shiat)  If you pissed, well I assume your peen is clean.

Women, these folks are just as nasty as the men.  But I witnessed several malicious dirtyings of the restrooms by the gals.  Each time was a "they didn't have" or "not my fault they"  The best one, a tampon clogging a toilet.  "Not my fault the toilet can't handle a little thing like a tampon" to which I replied "Who's fault is it that your bio-hazard isn't in the sanitary napkin bin right next to the stool?" (There was a loud argument after this, and doesn't add to the story)

Which brings me to the point: I don't know if your blood has the aids or a plethora of other pathogens, why not help make sure I don't have to think about that.  I mean I am already cleaning up your excrement, is that not nasty enough?


You own Vandelay Industries and clean the restrooms?
Good man!
2017-10-06 09:20:48 AM  
2 votes:
Old joke time:
What does Courtney Love have in common with a hockey player? They both change their pads after three periods.
2017-10-06 08:52:13 PM  
1 vote:

Smackledorfer: Fliegan: TNel: "Police were called, an investigation took place, Fox 2 reported breathlessly from the scene - and then, by this morning, the station reported that the object turned out to be nothing more than a feminine hygiene product.
You know: The sort of thing that's often found floating inside a bloody toilet bowl."
"Posted By Elizabeth Semko"

WTF how can an adult woman not know you aren't supposed to flush feminine hygiene products?!?!  I give the young girl a pass but come the fark on.

I am 48 year old woman who NEVER heard that I shouldn't flush tampons until about two years ago.

I own my own home, I don't care if I have to call a plumber every year*, I am not putting my drippy tampons into the trash. They're getting flushed.

*have never had to call a plumber for tampon-related plumbing issues.

Some smokers never get cancer.

Some live into their 90s.

You should take up smoking, because by your logic shown here you must believe it is harmless.


You forgot "second hand clogging", pipes don't end at a property line.
2017-10-06 12:39:19 PM  
1 vote:

dkulprit: Even if it was a fetus, why did the police have to get involved?  At that size it would've meant it was a miscarriage.  Last time I checked, even with the current administration, having a miscarriage wasn't a crime.


It was in an elementary school....if it was a fetus it could have meant that a young child was being abused.
2017-10-06 12:22:31 PM  
1 vote:

ArthurVandelay: Also:

http://www.theperiodblog.com/faq/faq-can-you-flush-tampons/


Well if someone's random blog says it, it must be true.
2017-10-06 10:27:14 AM  
1 vote:

lindalouwho: gonegirl: When I started bleeding out of my snatch, I was absolutely told that it was okay to flush tampons, just to make sure to throw away pads. I didn't hear "don't flush tampons" until I was an adult and landlords specifically told me to not do that when I signed the lease.

I'm way more disgusted by the folks in this thread treating a junior high school girl like trash than I am by a used tampon floating in a toilet.

wut

Where, exactly, do you see anyone treating the girl in TFA like trash?
She's barely even mentioned in this thread.


Nobody's actually celebrating the endless awesomeness of women's capacity to create life, as evidenced by their menstrual flow. That's the same thing as treating girls like trash.
2017-10-06 10:09:51 AM  
1 vote:
When I started bleeding out of my snatch, I was absolutely told that it was okay to flush tampons, just to make sure to throw away pads. I didn't hear "don't flush tampons" until I was an adult and landlords specifically told me to not do that when I signed the lease.

I'm way more disgusted by the folks in this thread treating a junior high school girl like trash than I am by a used tampon floating in a toilet.
2017-10-06 09:19:17 AM  
1 vote:
Even if it was a fetus, why did the police have to get involved?  At that size it would've meant it was a miscarriage.  Last time I checked, even with the current administration, having a miscarriage wasn't a crime.
2017-10-06 09:06:53 AM  
1 vote:

ohokyeah: Jake Havechek: MythDragon:

That definitely beats the shiatty sweatpants and panties incident.  20 years ago, when I worked in a high-rise, a person on the 32nd floor called to report a foul odor coming from the stairwell, as the door was close to their cube.  A supervisor was sent, opened the stairwell door and a pair of brown stained panties was in the corner of the landing, several dried brown puddles and smears on the floor, and on the bottom step of the stairs before the next landing, a severely brown stained pair of sweatpants and two pair of stained socks.  And above all, an abominable stomach churning stench.

You don't need to be a detective to know what happened, but the main question in our minds was, unless the person happened to have a change of clothes with them, how did they leave the building?

My guess is that their t-shirt or sweatshirt was a bit on the long side, since that's the typical apparel you see with sweatpants, so they just "pretended" it was a dress until they got back to their apartment.


They also "pretended" they were wearing brown fishnet stockings.
2017-10-06 09:00:42 AM  
1 vote:
Geez. Was he on the rag that day?
2017-10-06 08:59:24 AM  
1 vote:

davidphogan: I worked at a taco and sub shop that was frequented by very drunk college students late at night.

This would have been better than some of the shiat I had to clean up.  Women's bathrooms were terrible.  I have no idea how you can miss a toilet when you're taking a shiat, but the people who used dirty tampons to write on the wall were the worst.

I mean, dudes are farked up, but at least they just pee on the seat.


For me it was working at a Winn Dixie when I was in high school.  Cleaning the womens room was used as a punishment by management.
2017-10-06 06:06:21 AM  
1 vote:
Where I work, the most common problems are clogged toilets in the men's room, and diarrhea that gets sprayed on the wall behind the toilet in the women's room.
2017-10-06 05:50:37 AM  
1 vote:

davidphogan: I worked at a taco and sub shop that was frequented by very drunk college students late at night.

This would have been better than some of the shiat I had to clean up.  Women's bathrooms were terrible.  I have no idea how you can miss a toilet when you're taking a shiat, but the people who used dirty tampons to write on the wall were the worst.

I mean, dudes are farked up, but at least they just pee on the seat.


Had a night-shift job at a convenience store many moons ago. Got fired for locking the bathroom because I got tired of cleaning up the aftermath of teenagers p*ssing/sh*tting/f*cking in there.

And most of the time, they didn't even buy anything, you know?
2017-10-06 03:00:01 AM  
1 vote:

mjjt: Most of you have had a life-long education on caretakers

[img.fark.net image 472x360]


OutKast - Hey Ya!
Youtube PWgvGjAhvIw


Listen to that while watching Willie on a loop.  Smoke some weed.  It'll start making sense.
 
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