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(Idaho State Journal)   ALIENS ARE COMING TO FILL OUR BODIES WITH ALCOHOL...bring on the invasion   ( idahostatejournal.com) divider line
    More: Repeat, Casper reports, Northwest Smith, Time, President of the United States, James Horner, time travel, aliens, Johnson  
•       •       •

3180 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2017 at 2:18 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



67 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2017-10-05 12:22:46 PM  
Anyone know this guy's fark handle?
 
2017-10-05 01:02:49 PM  
Could not be reached for comment:

i.ytimg.com
 
2017-10-05 01:19:57 PM  
And Drew is the first one in line welcoming our alien overlords.
 
2017-10-05 01:41:17 PM  
But they use an anal probe.
 
2017-10-05 02:02:21 PM  
I for one welcome our new *hic*
 
2017-10-05 02:03:14 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: Could not be reached for comment:

[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2017-10-05 02:21:39 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: Could not be reached for comment:

[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]


Goddamnit.
 
2017-10-05 02:21:44 PM  
homer abducted by aliens
Youtube qUNyQTUOW1M

Simpsons did it
 
2017-10-05 02:21:45 PM  
Vodka barada nikto
 
2017-10-05 02:23:04 PM  
I've been training for this my whole life...my body is ready.
 
2017-10-05 02:23:17 PM  
*grumbles*

fine, I'll do this one.
img.fark.net
 
2017-10-05 02:26:14 PM  

guestguy: I've been training for this my whole life...my body is ready.


Well, ok, more like half my life...

/I wasn't a drunk baby
//buzzed is probably more accurate
///3s and such
 
2017-10-05 02:29:08 PM  

guestguy: guestguy: I've been training for this my whole life...my body is ready.

Well, ok, more like half my life...

/I wasn't a drunk baby
//buzzed is probably more accurate
///3s and such


Remember that movie "Last Starfighter?" Well that's like me. But with booze.
 
2017-10-05 02:29:14 PM  
PURITY OF ESSENCE
 
2017-10-05 02:29:25 PM  
Ftfa "Media reports indicated his blood-alcohol content was .136 percent."

Amature. The aliens only talk to me when I hit .25 or higher.
 
2017-10-05 02:29:39 PM  
They must have come from G34.3.
 
2017-10-05 02:32:10 PM  

uncleacid: But they use an anal probe.


img.fark.net
 
2017-10-05 02:32:13 PM  
Does this guy know anything about the fire in N.H.?
 
2017-10-05 02:33:05 PM  
BAH. I guess the mods didn't like my headline about Drew showing up in historical photos
 
2017-10-05 02:35:48 PM  

Fano: PURITY OF ESSENCE


PEACE ON EARTH.... through booze.
 
2017-10-05 02:36:22 PM  
Most Casper mug shot ever.
 
2017-10-05 02:42:03 PM  

uncleacid: But they use an anal probe.


I, for one, welcome our buttchugging overlords.
 
2017-10-05 02:42:44 PM  
They better not be illegal aliens.

/Legal drinking age only, thank you.
 
2017-10-05 02:42:45 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-10-05 02:46:25 PM  
"...claimed he was from the year 2048.... ...Johnson told police he was only able to time travel because aliens filled his body with alcohol. He noted that he was supposed to be transported to the year 2018, not this year."

Uh, that's actually kinda fun and creative, Del Rey, give this guy a book deal! I would totally read a short story about alcohol fueled time traveling aliens. I'm picturing something like Buckaroo Bonsai.
 
2017-10-05 02:53:22 PM  

AckAckAck: "...claimed he was from the year 2048.... ...Johnson told police he was only able to time travel because aliens filled his body with alcohol. He noted that he was supposed to be transported to the year 2018, not this year."

Uh, that's actually kinda fun and creative, Del Rey, give this guy a book deal! I would totally read a short story about alcohol fueled time traveling aliens. I'm picturing something like Buckaroo Bonsai.


Is that how you get the 2048 tile?

/I never could
 
2017-10-05 02:53:33 PM  
Fun fact, some states like New York have mental hygiene laws that can transition an arrest, even a serious Felony arrest, into a medical issue.  It won't get you completely out of trouble, and I don't recommend McMurphying yourself over unpaid traffic tickets, but 3 years of court ordered treatment is far better than 5 years in the clink.

I know a guy who told a judge he had a microchip in his head after he broke out of rehab and stole a car to go on a crack binge.  He ended up spending over five years in New York State's criminal psychiatric facilities and was still convicted of a Felony... but not eight Felonies.
 
2017-10-05 03:00:39 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-10-05 03:00:42 PM  
Because when the Alien invasion begins, Casper Wyoming will be their number one target.
 
2017-10-05 03:04:52 PM  

backhand.slap.of.reason: Fun fact, some states like New York have mental hygiene laws that can transition an arrest, even a serious Felony arrest, into a medical issue.  It won't get you completely out of trouble, and I don't recommend McMurphying yourself over unpaid traffic tickets, but 3 years of court ordered treatment is far better than 5 years in the clink.

I know a guy who told a judge he had a microchip in his head after he broke out of rehab and stole a car to go on a crack binge.  He ended up spending over five years in New York State's criminal psychiatric facilities and was still convicted of a Felony... but not eight Felonies.


The downside? They only have to let you out when they consider you to be sane. Which could be "never."
 
2017-10-05 03:06:55 PM  
2048?  And nobody asked him who was president then? Or how the Trump presidency turned out.
Did we ever get to Mars?   Did we really have first contact with the Vulcans then?  So many questions.
 
2017-10-05 03:10:59 PM  

abhorrent1: Because when the Alien invasion begins, Casper Wyoming will be their number one target.


Aren't there a bunch of ICBM missiles out there?
 
2017-10-05 03:12:59 PM  
I would trust someone who said they were from 200 years into the future before I trusted someone with a chin strap beard.
 
2017-10-05 03:14:06 PM  

mr_larry: abhorrent1: Because when the Alien invasion begins, Casper Wyoming will be their number one target.

Aren't there a bunch of ICBM missiles out there?


Not as many as ATM machines.
 
2017-10-05 03:17:10 PM  
I've never understood the clamour for repealing the 2nd amendment and removing all the guns when alcohol is responsible for MANY more deaths and is celebrated to a religious degree.
 
2017-10-05 03:19:30 PM  

guestguy: mr_larry: abhorrent1: Because when the Alien invasion begins, Casper Wyoming will be their number one target.

Aren't there a bunch of ICBM missiles out there?

Not as many as ATM machines.


When I see ATM I immediately think of something else.  Porn has ruined me.
 
2017-10-05 03:19:55 PM  
I, for one, welcome our new alien openbarlords
 
2017-10-05 03:21:26 PM  

You Are All Sheep: I've never understood the clamour for repealing the 2nd amendment and removing all the guns when alcohol is responsible for MANY more deaths and is celebrated to a religious degree.


We tried banning it, that didn't take.
 
2017-10-05 03:24:11 PM  

mr_larry: guestguy: mr_larry: abhorrent1: Because when the Alien invasion begins, Casper Wyoming will be their number one target.

Aren't there a bunch of ICBM missiles out there?

Not as many as ATM machines.

When I see ATM I immediately think of something else.  Porn has ruined me.


Ahhh, you're thinking of ATM mouth.
 
2017-10-05 03:33:35 PM  
Im just here for the probes, somebody said there would be probes here today.
 
2017-10-05 03:45:59 PM  

guestguy: Ahhh, you're thinking of ATM mouth.


It IS ATM Machine. Robotics has come a long way.
 
2017-10-05 03:51:10 PM  

assalon5: Im just here for the probes, somebody said there would be probes here today.


They're in my butt. You got next
 
2017-10-05 03:52:47 PM  

Lethargic_Apathy: guestguy: Ahhh, you're thinking of ATM mouth.

It IS ATM Machine. Robotics has come a long way.


img.fark.net
 
2017-10-05 03:56:58 PM  

abhorrent1: assalon5: Im just here for the probes, somebody said there would be probes here today.

They're in my butt. You got next


Well at least don't have them change the settings. Its kinda itchy I will tell you from the last time.
 
2017-10-05 03:58:02 PM  
I'll tell you what's really strange about this.

If it were 100% true, this is exactly how we would treat someone who traveled back in time to warn us about aliens.  We would think he was a drunken loony, and lock him up until he sobered a bit.

I'm not saying he's telling the truth.  I'm only saying that he could be telling the truth.

Sort of like how so many people are waiting for the 2nd coming of Christ.  If he actually DID decide to come back, no one in the entire world would believe him.  Makes you wonder what the hell all those people are really waiting for.
 
2017-10-05 04:03:36 PM  

JoJay: 2048?  And nobody asked him who was president then? Or how the Trump presidency turned out.
Did we ever get to Mars?   Did we really have first contact with the Vulcans then?  So many questions.


I like playing devil's advocate, so here I go... (I'm not trolling, I swear)

But what if he really did come from 2048? What if he's right and has no recollection of our history because aliens wiped it out. People are so quick to write off the implausible because it's easy to make someone uncomfortable with the very thought. I've done enough drugs to know we were taught lies about them. I've also done enough to know there's far more possible than we are willing to acknowledge.

Love you guys. Keep it civil.
 
2017-10-05 04:03:53 PM  

durbnpoisn: I'll tell you what's really strange about this.

If it were 100% true, this is exactly how we would treat someone who traveled back in time to warn us about aliens.  We would think he was a drunken loony, and lock him up until he sobered a bit.

I'm not saying he's telling the truth.  I'm only saying that he could be telling the truth.

Sort of like how so many people are waiting for the 2nd coming of Christ.  If he actually DID decide to come back, no one in the entire world would believe him.  Makes you wonder what the hell all those people are really waiting for.


img.fark.net
 
2017-10-05 04:07:47 PM  
I can believe he is a time traveller. You can tell.

He obviously got his hair cut in the 17th century.


Brantgoose's advice on Hair Care for Time Travellers


As a fellow time traveller, I would like to suggest that you get your hair cut in the Twentieth Century. Especially if you are a woman. They do great Flavian hairstyles in the 1950s. Permament waves are relatively simple, cheap and easy. They know how to do all lengths and all styles and can even do beautiful topiary work with Africanized hair.

If you wear a wig, send it to a hair dresser in the 18th Century. You don't actually have to be there while the artistes do your hair. They will delouse, wash, powder, shape and set your hair and you can send a footman to collect it when it is done. Very convenient.

For some reason, Americans know hair better than anything. They consider it more important that knowledge, facts, truth, logic, politics, morality or sense. Americans are the passed masters in hair, especially past hair. A Hollywood hair dresser can give you the styles of any period of history, and dammit, they will look better than the real thing.

Try the 1950s. Service was pretty good in the 1950s. Dumbth had not yet destroyed service. There was not yet a service economy to ruin service. Service was cheap, relatively polite, and competent or else the employee was fired and paid any money owing if they were lucky.

There is an old Russian proverb which I learned from an Old Russian in the Reign of Ivan the Terrible.

Grey beards, green heads.

Applies beautifully to American politics.

 America is like an insane asylum where the barber is really, really good.

Full of old fools with great hair.

 
2017-10-05 04:08:51 PM  
Well it's about gotdamn time!
 
2017-10-05 04:12:22 PM  
I am proud of that one.

America is like an insane asylum where the barber is really, really good.

America is like an insane asylum where the barber is really, really good.

America is like an insane asylum where the barber is really, really good.

What I tell you three times is true. I am not counting the previous post.

 
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