Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Agony Booth)   The top 5 meanest bad guy sidekicks are Oddjob, Fiona Volpe, Darth Vader, Joachim, and Saruman. The list must be wrong since it doesn't include Mike Pence   ( agonybooth.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Khan, Star Wars, bad guy, James Bond, Khan's directives, great female Bond, Khan's respect, James Bond series  
•       •       •

1526 clicks; posted to Geek » on 03 Oct 2017 at 9:50 AM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-10-03 09:26:01 AM  
Mike Pence is just a zealot. His malevolence is unthinking, not calculated, driven by his need to subjugate others to his beliefs. Had he not been given power, he wouldn't be a threat.
 
2017-10-03 09:43:41 AM  

FormlessOne: Mike Pence is just a zealot. His malevolence is unthinking, not calculated, driven by his need to subjugate others to his beliefs. Had he not been given power, he wouldn't be a threat.


If anyone wants to give reasons why O Ren Iishi isn't on the list,

img.fark.net
 
2017-10-03 09:44:40 AM  
No idea why the above was a quote of FormlessOne.

Iishi is much cooler than Pence.
 
2017-10-03 09:50:55 AM  

TommyDeuce: No idea why the above was a quote of FormlessOne.

Iishi is much cooler than Pence.


Everyone is much cooler than Pence.
 
2017-10-03 09:55:24 AM  
Oddjob instead of Jaws?
 
2017-10-03 09:59:39 AM  

Arkanaut: Oddjob instead of Jaws?


Jaws reformed after he found love.
 
2017-10-03 10:00:35 AM  
No Dick Cheney?

/Trump only talks about shooting people and getting away with it.
/Cheney shoots people, gets away with it, and makes them apologize for being shot.
/That's some serious gangsta business right there.
 
2017-10-03 10:01:04 AM  
Bane from The Dark Knight Rises?
 
2017-10-03 10:01:33 AM  

way south: No Dick Cheney?

/Trump only talks about shooting people and getting away with it.
/Cheney shoots people, gets away with it, and makes them apologize for being shot.
/That's some serious gangsta business right there.


Dick Cheney was no sidekick.
 
2017-10-03 10:02:43 AM  
Another option:

theactionelite.com
 
2017-10-03 10:03:54 AM  
img.fark.net
He laughs at Mike Pence. LAUGHS!
 
2017-10-03 10:12:17 AM  
TommyDeuce:  If anyone wants to give reasons why O Ren Iishi isn't on the list,

[img.fark.net image 245x160]


I don't know that I'd consider her a sidekick.  She was at one point, but by the time the movie rolled around, the organization had broken up and they'd gone their separate ways.  You could make a case that Elle Driver was still Bill's underling, but O-Ren, was off doing her own thing by the time we met her.  Besides, she was unquestionably the primary antagonist of the first movie.
 
2017-10-03 10:15:52 AM  
img.fark.net
Now I have a machine gun... ho ho ho
 
2017-10-03 10:16:53 AM  
I'm glad they didn't include Number 2; it's a shiate name.
 
2017-10-03 10:17:07 AM  
On the one hand, I'd hardly called Darth Vader a sidekick.

On the other, he doesn't look anywhere near as good as Fiona Volpe in a bikini:

i.pinimg.com
 
2017-10-03 10:19:29 AM  
Saruman wasn't a sidekick, either. He may have been, eventually (though I doubt it), but at the time LotR was set he was still his own boss.
 
2017-10-03 10:22:16 AM  
Although it was a pretty crap throwaway movie, I still like Crispin Glover's performance as the Thin Man in Charlie's Angels... Really brought back the idea of the uber-intimidating henchman.

img.fark.net
 
2017-10-03 10:25:04 AM  
 
2017-10-03 10:26:44 AM  

Last Man on Earth: TommyDeuce:  If anyone wants to give reasons why O Ren Iishi isn't on the list,

[img.fark.net image 245x160]

I don't know that I'd consider her a sidekick.  She was at one point, but by the time the movie rolled around, the organization had broken up and they'd gone their separate ways.  You could make a case that Elle Driver was still Bill's underling, but O-Ren, was off doing her own thing by the time we met her.  Besides, she was unquestionably the primary antagonist of the first movie.


Since Vader and Saruman made the list - I'm comfortable including them.

Probably most of these are better defined as "The Dragon" instead of "The Sidekick"

Along those lines - Grendel?
 
2017-10-03 10:31:48 AM  

skyotter: There's a trope for that.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheDragon


Do not click unless you want to be majorly unproductive today
 
2017-10-03 10:36:49 AM  

texdent: skyotter: There's a trope for that.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheDragon

Do not click unless you want to be majorly unproductive today


That's why I didn't hide the link.  ;)
 
2017-10-03 10:38:57 AM  
The henchwoman in Kingsmen (#1) was among the coolest I've seen, and definitely would make it in to the top 5 of any of these lists.

/dnrtfa
 
2017-10-03 10:42:27 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: On the one hand, I'd hardly called Darth Vader a sidekick.

On the other, he doesn't look anywhere near as good as Fiona Volpe in a bikini:

[i.pinimg.com image 250x345]


mydisguises.com

/I mean, they're not THAT far off
 
2017-10-03 10:44:00 AM  
+1 subby. I get it.
 
2017-10-03 10:52:24 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: On the one hand, I'd hardly called Darth Vader a sidekick.

On the other, he doesn't look anywhere near as good as Fiona Volpe in a bikini:

[i.pinimg.com image 250x345]


Darth Vader is totally a sidekick. That's what's interesting about his character. He has his own Star Destroyer and seems to be the man in charge, but you forget that he answers to a boss, and a boss that has superior power. Vader is totally a second fiddle, he's just so well crafted and so well played that you have to be reminded.
 
2017-10-03 10:55:06 AM  

ReverendLoki: Although it was a pretty crap throwaway movie, I still like Crispin Glover's performance as the Thin Man in Charlie's Angels... Really brought back the idea of the uber-intimidating henchman.

[img.fark.net image 486x352]


I get a kick out of the movie. I'll watch it when the mood hits me, and not feel like I've wasted 2 hours. Then again, I have a thing for Drew, and would watch a movie where she inventoried her sock drawer... In hopes that she  moved on to her underwear drawer next. :-)

But I agree, Crispin Glover was a GREAT bad guy in that. It would really be hard to watch the movie again if he wasn't the evil focus. Damn, he just kills it.
 
2017-10-03 11:03:39 AM  

Mikey1969: ReverendLoki: Although it was a pretty crap throwaway movie, I still like Crispin Glover's performance as the Thin Man in Charlie's Angels... Really brought back the idea of the uber-intimidating henchman.

[img.fark.net image 486x352]

I get a kick out of the movie. I'll watch it when the mood hits me, and not feel like I've wasted 2 hours. Then again, I have a thing for Drew, and would watch a movie where she inventoried her sock drawer... In hopes that she  moved on to her underwear drawer next. :-)

But I agree, Crispin Glover was a GREAT bad guy in that. It would really be hard to watch the movie again if he wasn't the evil focus. Damn, he just kills it.


He's pretty creepy in American Gods as well.

Hell, he was a little creepy in What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
 
2017-10-03 11:12:33 AM  
Meanest? Major Toht (the gestapo guy with the glasses) in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
 
2017-10-03 11:22:53 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-10-03 11:31:10 AM  

TommyDeuce: Mikey1969: ReverendLoki: Although it was a pretty crap throwaway movie, I still like Crispin Glover's performance as the Thin Man in Charlie's Angels... Really brought back the idea of the uber-intimidating henchman.

[img.fark.net image 486x352]

I get a kick out of the movie. I'll watch it when the mood hits me, and not feel like I've wasted 2 hours. Then again, I have a thing for Drew, and would watch a movie where she inventoried her sock drawer... In hopes that she  moved on to her underwear drawer next. :-)

But I agree, Crispin Glover was a GREAT bad guy in that. It would really be hard to watch the movie again if he wasn't the evil focus. Damn, he just kills it.

He's pretty creepy in American Gods as well.

Hell, he was a little creepy in What's Eating Gilbert Grape?


I love Crispin Glover, but mostly because he's one of those actors who really only picks the right roles. He doesn't Nic Cage his way through life. When he takes a role, he's the weirdest motherfarker you've ever seen up to that point... :-)

Even Willard... I know most people think it wasn't that great, but I can't think of another actor who could be in it. 
s103.podbean.com
 
2017-10-03 11:33:18 AM  

FormlessOne: Mike Pence is just a zealot. His malevolence is unthinking, not calculated, driven by his need to subjugate others to his beliefs. Had he not been given power, he wouldn't be a threat.


How did we go from talking about movie villain sidekicks to farking Trump again. Take that shiat to the politics tab.
 
2017-10-03 11:35:09 AM  

texdent: skyotter: There's a trope for that.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheDragon

Do not click unless you want to be majorly unproductive today


Also, take bottled water and bread crumbs.
 
2017-10-03 11:37:12 AM  

HydroMonkey: The henchwoman in Kingsmen (#1) was among the coolest I've seen, and definitely would make it in to the top 5 of any of these lists.

/dnrtfa


Gazelle.  Yeah, I enjoyed the hell out of her too.  Just the right blend of offbeat and menacing.
 
2017-10-03 11:47:13 AM  

Mikey1969: TommyDeuce: Mikey1969: ReverendLoki: Although it was a pretty crap throwaway movie, I still like Crispin Glover's performance as the Thin Man in Charlie's Angels... Really brought back the idea of the uber-intimidating henchman.

[img.fark.net image 486x352]

I get a kick out of the movie. I'll watch it when the mood hits me, and not feel like I've wasted 2 hours. Then again, I have a thing for Drew, and would watch a movie where she inventoried her sock drawer... In hopes that she  moved on to her underwear drawer next. :-)

But I agree, Crispin Glover was a GREAT bad guy in that. It would really be hard to watch the movie again if he wasn't the evil focus. Damn, he just kills it.

He's pretty creepy in American Gods as well.

Hell, he was a little creepy in What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

I love Crispin Glover, but mostly because he's one of those actors who really only picks the right roles. He doesn't Nic Cage his way through life. When he takes a role, he's the weirdest motherfarker you've ever seen up to that point... :-)

Even Willard... I know most people think it wasn't that great, but I can't think of another actor who could be in it.
[s103.podbean.com image 720x310]


Good point.  Then again, I hear he's one weird motherfarker in real life, too, though much more mild mannered.  He was apparently doing something local here when my wife saw him shopping in a Whole Foods, and the only real description I got was that he looked eccentric, hairy and scruffy.
 
2017-10-03 11:56:35 AM  
Wait....

upload.wikimedia.org

...he was an evil sidekick?
 
2017-10-03 12:00:34 PM  

TommyDeuce: FormlessOne: Mike Pence is just a zealot. His malevolence is unthinking, not calculated, driven by his need to subjugate others to his beliefs. Had he not been given power, he wouldn't be a threat.

If anyone wants to give reasons why O Ren Iishi isn't on the list,

[img.fark.net image 245x160]

meanest bad guy sidekicks


/when you've risen to the head of the Japanese underworld, you've pretty much graduated from sidekick
//Gogo Yubari qualifies
///best opponent to almost kill the Bride in hand-to-hand combat
 
2017-10-03 12:08:56 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: TommyDeuce: FormlessOne: Mike Pence is just a zealot. His malevolence is unthinking, not calculated, driven by his need to subjugate others to his beliefs. Had he not been given power, he wouldn't be a threat.

If anyone wants to give reasons why O Ren Iishi isn't on the list,

[img.fark.net image 245x160]

meanest bad guy sidekicks

/when you've risen to the head of the Japanese underworld, you've pretty much graduated from sidekick
//Gogo Yubari qualifies
///best opponent to almost kill the Bride in hand-to-hand combat


That argument would apply to Saruman. His sidekick, Wormtongue, was more nasty than mean.
 
2017-10-03 12:20:46 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: TommyDeuce: FormlessOne: Mike Pence is just a zealot. His malevolence is unthinking, not calculated, driven by his need to subjugate others to his beliefs. Had he not been given power, he wouldn't be a threat.

If anyone wants to give reasons why O Ren Iishi isn't on the list,

[img.fark.net image 245x160]

meanest bad guy sidekicks

/when you've risen to the head of the Japanese underworld, you've pretty much graduated from sidekick
//Gogo Yubari qualifies
///best opponent to almost kill the Bride in hand-to-hand combat


She was good, but maybe a bit gimmicky.

I'd argue Johnny Mo equally qualifies, though.  And on his own merits, not just as the leader of the Crazy 88.
 
2017-10-03 12:22:51 PM  

TommyDeuce: Last Man on Earth: TommyDeuce:  If anyone wants to give reasons why O Ren Iishi isn't on the list,

[img.fark.net image 245x160]

I don't know that I'd consider her a sidekick.  She was at one point, but by the time the movie rolled around, the organization had broken up and they'd gone their separate ways.  You could make a case that Elle Driver was still Bill's underling, but O-Ren, was off doing her own thing by the time we met her.  Besides, she was unquestionably the primary antagonist of the first movie.

Since Vader and Saruman made the list - I'm comfortable including them.

Probably most of these are better defined as "The Dragon" instead of "The Sidekick"

Along those lines - Grendel?


I would argue that Saruman was still acting as an agent of Sauron, rather than serving his own goals, while Vader was unambiguously a servant for Tarkin in the first movie, and the Emperor after that.  O-Ren was a sidekick/dragon/whatever when they left the Bride for dead, but by the time the Bride woke up and came after her, she no longer had any ties to Bill.

The question, to me, is whether the character was advancing their own agenda, or helping to advance someone else's agenda.  Certainly your own star can ascend by helping someone else, and they probably would have stabbed their "masters" in the back if they thought it would bring them greater power, but Saruman and Vader were still lieutenants of a greater evil.  Saruman ceased to be a sidekick when he gave up on Sauron and took over the Shire, but that didn't happen until near the end (and was cut from the movies entirely).
 
2017-10-03 12:49:21 PM  

ReverendLoki: Mikey1969: TommyDeuce: Mikey1969: ReverendLoki: Although it was a pretty crap throwaway movie, I still like Crispin Glover's performance as the Thin Man in Charlie's Angels... Really brought back the idea of the uber-intimidating henchman.

[img.fark.net image 486x352]

I get a kick out of the movie. I'll watch it when the mood hits me, and not feel like I've wasted 2 hours. Then again, I have a thing for Drew, and would watch a movie where she inventoried her sock drawer... In hopes that she  moved on to her underwear drawer next. :-)

But I agree, Crispin Glover was a GREAT bad guy in that. It would really be hard to watch the movie again if he wasn't the evil focus. Damn, he just kills it.

He's pretty creepy in American Gods as well.

Hell, he was a little creepy in What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

I love Crispin Glover, but mostly because he's one of those actors who really only picks the right roles. He doesn't Nic Cage his way through life. When he takes a role, he's the weirdest motherfarker you've ever seen up to that point... :-)

Even Willard... I know most people think it wasn't that great, but I can't think of another actor who could be in it.
[s103.podbean.com image 720x310]

Good point.  Then again, I hear he's one weird motherfarker in real life, too, though much more mild mannered.  He was apparently doing something local here when my wife saw him shopping in a Whole Foods, and the only real description I got was that he looked eccentric, hairy and scruffy.


I just remember when he did that shiat on Letterman back in the day, nobody knew what to think...
 
2017-10-03 12:51:19 PM  

Last Man on Earth: TommyDeuce: Last Man on Earth: TommyDeuce:  If anyone wants to give reasons why O Ren Iishi isn't on the list,

[img.fark.net image 245x160]

I don't know that I'd consider her a sidekick.  She was at one point, but by the time the movie rolled around, the organization had broken up and they'd gone their separate ways.  You could make a case that Elle Driver was still Bill's underling, but O-Ren, was off doing her own thing by the time we met her.  Besides, she was unquestionably the primary antagonist of the first movie.

Since Vader and Saruman made the list - I'm comfortable including them.

Probably most of these are better defined as "The Dragon" instead of "The Sidekick"

Along those lines - Grendel?

I would argue that Saruman was still acting as an agent of Sauron, rather than serving his own goals, while Vader was unambiguously a servant for Tarkin in the first movie, and the Emperor after that.  O-Ren was a sidekick/dragon/whatever when they left the Bride for dead, but by the time the Bride woke up and came after her, she no longer had any ties to Bill.


It's so easy to get to the end of the first Star Wars movie and forget all about that. Vader as a character is just such an overwhelming presence that you have a thing in the back of your mind that says "That's right, he worked for so-and-so", but in the front of your mind, he IS the bad guy supreme...
 
2017-10-03 01:07:12 PM  
A sidekick supports the hero, sometimes learns from him but needs the hero to do the heavy lifting. The hero cares about the sidekick, especially when the sidekick inevitably gets captured or kidnapped.

Bad guys rarely have sidekicks. You're either an enforcer or a minion. They don't care much about their underlings.
 
2017-10-03 01:17:44 PM  
Eh. At least all of those listed were part of some order that influenced their behaviors. They could be controlled at some level. I'd rather that than some nihilistic lunatics like the family members in The Devil's Rejects.
 
2017-10-03 01:20:12 PM  
Book Saruman wasn't Sauron's toady.  He wanted the ring for himself and pretended to Sauron to be in his thrall while he searched for it for his own use.
 
2017-10-03 01:28:49 PM  
It does seem the article confuses side kicks with henchmen. But bad guys can have side kicks. The Christmas Story above is a good example and I would say the following would qualify:

img.fark.net
 
2017-10-03 01:32:16 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-10-03 01:33:42 PM  

betty swollocks: [img.fark.net image 425x425]


Hans Landa


/still learning fark on phone
 
2017-10-03 02:25:09 PM  
i.pinimg.com i.pinimg.com vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2017-10-03 02:38:05 PM  
I have only two words for the authors of this list;

"Biatches, leave."
 
2017-10-03 02:51:58 PM  

McGrits: It does seem the article confuses side kicks with henchmen. But bad guys can have side kicks. The Christmas Story above is a good example and I would say the following would qualify:

[img.fark.net image 375x307]


Good example. Though I'd use the movie's terminology and call evil sidekicks "Toadies"
 
2017-10-03 03:06:14 PM  
A sidekick, and, technically, not a good guy.

img.fark.net
 
2017-10-03 05:42:24 PM  
I'm old school. Gonna vote Bolo from Enter the Dragon.

img.fark.net
 
2017-10-03 06:08:44 PM  
Your list is ridiculous!
img.fark.net
 
2017-10-03 06:24:25 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-10-03 06:40:32 PM  

cefm: Your list is ridiculous!
[img.fark.net image 200x303]


You have failed once again Starscream
 
2017-10-03 06:45:25 PM  
Bolo would be great but he was more of a henchman than sidekick, imo. O'hara was more sidekick and right hand man. But yeah, Bolo was so ruthless.
 
2017-10-03 06:59:17 PM  

Farker Soze: Book Saruman wasn't Sauron's toady.  He wanted the ring for himself and pretended to Sauron to be in his thrall while he searched for it for his own use.


I think each knew the other would stab them in the back at the first opportunity. The real life analogy is Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia when they pretended to be allies.
 
2017-10-03 07:03:16 PM  
The author seems to pick henchmen he remembers nostalgically from good movies as opposed to actual best henchmen.  Vader is on there as a good pick probably by accident, because the rest range from "OK but not top five" to "why the fark is she on this list?"
 
2017-10-03 07:19:08 PM  
The Maltese Falcon (2/10) Movie CLIP - Joel Cairo (1941) HD
Youtube sGuNGXmQZSE
 
2017-10-03 07:21:33 PM  

Emposter: The author seems to pick henchmen he remembers nostalgically from good movies as opposed to actual best henchmen.  Vader is on there as a good pick probably by accident, because the rest range from "OK but not top five" to "why the fark is she on this list?"


My top 5 would be (in no particular order):
1. Darth Vader
2. Number 2 from Austin Powers
3. Harley Quinn (though it varies because there are so many versions of her)
4. Starscream (Transformers)
5. Thomas "The German" Eichhorst (The Strain)
 
2017-10-03 11:41:05 PM  
Since I didn't read the article, I'll bite: Saruman really isn't an underling, though the "master" he pretends to serve actually WAS for much of his existence. As villainous sidekicks go, Sauron is a fantastic one. Second in command, his master is defeated, so he goes ahead and damn near takes over the world himself. Of course, most of that is largely omitted from the movies, so.....
 
2017-10-04 01:14:31 AM  
img.fark.net
Hei(l) guise...
 
2017-10-04 02:20:56 AM  
img.fark.net
Officer: ...wanted in 14 counties of this state, the condemned is found guilty of the crimes of murder, armed robbery of citizens, state banks and post offices, the theft of sacred objects, arson in a state prison, perjury, bigamy, deserting his wife and children, inciting prostitution, kidnapping, extortion, receiving stolen goods, selling stolen goods, passing counterfeit money, and, contrary to the laws of this state, the condemned is guilty of using marked cards... 

/Sounds pretty mean to me...
 
2017-10-04 04:22:35 AM  

Streetwise Hercules: I have only two words for the authors of this list;

"Biatches, leave."


Call me.
 
2017-10-04 05:53:25 AM  

TommyDeuce: If anyone wants to give reasons why O Ren Iishi isn't on the list,


Because no one in that movie had any characterization whatsoever and that one in particular basically showed up, sleepwalked through a by-the-numbers wirework action scene only rendered memorable by the awkward lack of polish, then died?

That's sort of like asking why Hydra agent #2 from the second captain america film, credited as "dude who showed up and fell over after being punched once" isn't on the list.  The list is about characters with actual personality traits displayed on-screen, I think.
 
Displayed 65 of 65 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report