Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fark)   Shouldn't pregnant people be worried that their babies might eat their way out?   ( fark.com) divider line
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

2203 clicks; posted to Geek » on 29 Sep 2017 at 10:33 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



228 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-09-29 11:13:52 PM  
what if we all taste like different meats and we never even know it?
 
2017-09-29 11:15:07 PM  
Dammit.  We have a chance to shine and our scientists are AWOL?
 
2017-09-29 11:15:49 PM  
I thought I was going to throw my baby up when I was pregnant. It seemed counterproductive to what my body was trying to do.
 
2017-09-29 11:18:32 PM  

Moderator: Dammit.  We have a chance to shine and our scientists are AWOL?


I believe I, at least, gave answer to the question in the headline.

Granted, endoparasitism isn't my field of expertise.
 
2017-09-29 11:20:42 PM  

Moderator: Dammit.  We have a chance to shine and our scientists are AWOL?


img.fark.net
 
2017-09-29 11:23:37 PM  

Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: no1curr: Babies are barely-sentient parasites who are continually fed and resting quite comfortably (in most circumstances). Birth is basically the landlady evicting a freeloading tenant. On other words, why would they want to ruin such a good thing?

Babies constantly eat?  I figured they got fed when the woman eats and it just goes down the umbilical cord?


Just like your other organs constantly do their job. There isn't an "on" cycle for this...
 
2017-09-29 11:23:54 PM  

Moderator: Geek tab we need your scientific help.


Babies usually don't get teeth until they're six months out of the womb.
Babies do not understand cause and effect until they're out of the womb a bit as well. They rely on reflexes early on to open their mouths and eat.
They are fed through the umbilical cord while in utero and therefore do not experience hunger.
The amniotic sac is surprisingly strong, and despite popular belief, usually (90% of the time) doesn't rupture until after labor has started.
Even if the sac is broken somehow, the cervix must also dilate. Sometimes doctors are able to keep the cervix from dilating, and other times, the sac can leak but the cervix will stay closed.

There. Science'd.

Pregnant women do need to fear being kicked by the baby in the bladder and the ribs though. It hurts.
 
2017-09-29 11:25:58 PM  
Children taste like veal
 
2017-09-29 11:31:02 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-09-29 11:32:42 PM  

make me some tea: Children taste like veal


That's threadjacking.  This is about moms
 
433 [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2017-09-29 11:43:11 PM  

mesmer242: Babies usually don't get teeth until they're six months out of the womb.


Everybody look at this guy, and his facts.  What does he know, anyway?
 
2017-09-29 11:46:36 PM  
img.fark.net

Did somebody say babies?
 
2017-09-29 11:59:44 PM  

Fingerware Error: [img.fark.net image 228x222]


Is that their baby? NSFW https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOaTKoG09lQ
 
2017-09-29 11:59:56 PM  

433: mesmer242: Babies usually don't get teeth until they're six months out of the womb.

Everybody look at this guy, and his facts.  What does he know, anyway?


Knowing how much danger my nipples are in is extremely important to me.
 
433 [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2017-09-30 12:18:26 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Is that their baby?


Hey man, I'm reaching back into the lands of long ago threads, but, I have a farky/favorite for you that tells me to ask you if that Nintendo 3ds you found in a puddle ever got around to working.  So, did it work?

mesmer242: Knowing how much danger my nipples are in is extremely important to me.


What's so great about your nipples, mesmer242?  Why are you so protective?  Maybe your nipples could be a public service, did you ever think about that?  You probably didn't, you're so selfish with your nipples.  Your nipples aren't having their own episode of Parks and Rec, there's no debate here, put your nipples out into the public sphere, let the public decide their importance, don't be a prude, don't be a jerk, set your body free, bro.  Bro?  Bra?  Just be cool.
 
2017-09-30 12:38:35 AM  

cryinoutloud: I thought I was going to throw my baby up when I was pregnant. It seemed counterproductive to what my body was trying to do.


Not really.  Your body spent the entire nine-or-so months butting heads with a manipulative asshole fetus that attempted to hijack your body and its functions and largely succeeded:

War in the Womb

The cells of the human endometrium are tightly aligned, creating a fortress-like wall around the inside of the uterus. That barrier is packed with lethal immune cells. As far back as 1903, researchers observed embryos 'invading' and 'digesting' their way into the uterine lining. In 1914, R W Johnstone described the implantation zone as 'the fighting line where the confiict between the maternal cells and the invading trophoderm takes place'. It was a battlefield 'strewn with... the dead on both sides'.

When scientists tried to gestate mice outside the womb, they expected the embryos to wither, deprived of the surface that had evolved to nurture them. To their shock they found instead that - implanted in the brain, testis or eye of a mouse - the embryo went wild. Placental cells rampaged through surrounding tissues, slaughtering everything in their path as they hunted for arteries to sate their thirst for nutrients. It's no accident that many of the same genes active in embryonic development have been implicated in cancer. Pregnancy is a lot more like war than we might care to admit.


/sleep tight!
 
2017-09-30 01:03:13 AM  
Well. That's how I got here. Mom has been getting treated for a sucking chest wound ever since. She's so good to me!

/The answer is chicken, moms taste like chicken.
 
2017-09-30 01:09:57 AM  

Chris Ween: We are made of meat.


We are friend to all children.
 
2017-09-30 01:10:10 AM  

Chris Ween: make me some tea: Children taste like veal

That's threadjacking.  This is about moms


They're worthless.  We've had no less than three attempted child suicides tonight, and I'm the one not in bed.

I might be doing this wrong.
 
2017-09-30 01:38:46 AM  

433: drjekel_mrhyde: Is that their baby?

Hey man, I'm reaching back into the lands of long ago threads, but, I have a farky/favorite for you that tells me to ask you if that Nintendo 3ds you found in a puddle ever got around to working.  So, did it work?

mesmer242: Knowing how much danger my nipples are in is extremely important to me.

What's so great about your nipples, mesmer242?  Why are you so protective?  Maybe your nipples could be a public service, did you ever think about that?  You probably didn't, you're so selfish with your nipples.  Your nipples aren't having their own episode of Parks and Rec, there's no debate here, put your nipples out into the public sphere, let the public decide their importance, don't be a prude, don't be a jerk, set your body free, bro.  Bro?  Bra?  Just be cool.


Oh good, we figured out which thread the ghost of Hugh Hefner is posting on.
 
2017-09-30 01:54:45 AM  

Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)

So...

April 18, 2018

I'm *thrilled*


My condolences.
 
2017-09-30 01:55:17 AM  
If a fetus or newborn started eating its umbilical cord, would it eventually get to the end and start eating itself?
 
2017-09-30 02:44:55 AM  

mikaloyd: [i.pinimg.com image 278x400]

I'd seen that photo before. I'd always wondered how many vaginas that woman had.
 
2017-09-30 07:37:03 AM  
Shouldn't pregnant pragnent people be worried that their babies might eat their way out?

Babbys cant frigth back.
 
2017-09-30 09:04:17 AM  
I hope we solved submitters question
 
2017-09-30 09:09:53 AM  

IvyLady: So, uhhhh...

[img.fark.net image 425x356]


Those cats!
 
2017-09-30 09:48:08 AM  
I've been trying to eat my way in for years.
 
2017-09-30 03:29:00 PM  

raerae1980: Chris Ween: sarahthustra: i have to image i'm delicious.

I think I'm marbled or just engorged like veal.

Bacon.  I bet we taste like bacon.....


Not really. But if you did, guys would be spending a lot more time down there.
 
Displayed 28 of 228 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report