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(Fark)   Shouldn't pregnant people be worried that their babies might eat their way out?   ( fark.com) divider line
    More: Scary  
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2203 clicks; posted to Geek » on 29 Sep 2017 at 10:33 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-09-29 09:48:42 PM  

italie: birdmanesq: *schedules vasectomy*

I once knew a guy who scheduled a vasectomy 3 times. Each time, he ended up at the bar across the street.

Wife went with the fourth time.

// He had 3 kids. Not sure if there is a connection.


That's a bad pun.
 
2017-09-29 09:48:47 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)

So...

April 18, 2018

I'm *thrilled*

Congratulations!


Can you delete all the posts that reference this, since it's a greened thread?

Thanks!
 
2017-09-29 09:48:49 PM  

Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: italie: Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)

So...

April 18, 2018

I'm *thrilled*

Really?!?  In that case you need to have the baby a week earlier so we could have the same birthday!

Fark that. Mines on the 19th.

//We're playing by Price is right rules, correct?

*throws down gloves*

She'll squirt that baby out on the 19th over my dead body.


This can be arranged.

// grabs a car battery and jumper cables.
 
2017-09-29 09:49:52 PM  

italie: birdmanesq: *schedules vasectomy*

I once knew a guy who scheduled a vasectomy 3 times. Each time, he ended up at the bar across the street.

Wife went with the fourth time.

// He had 3 kids. Not sure if there is a connection.


Best 30 bucks I ever spent. Light duty at work, good pills, and even a single valium to take the morning of. Apparently the valium reduces the amount of men fleeing to the bar across the street.
 
2017-09-29 09:50:01 PM  
Whoa! Mini Helen Keller! Awesome!
 
2017-09-29 09:50:07 PM  

italie: Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: italie: Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)

So...

April 18, 2018

I'm *thrilled*

Really?!?  In that case you need to have the baby a week earlier so we could have the same birthday!

Fark that. Mines on the 19th.

//We're playing by Price is right rules, correct?

*throws down gloves*

She'll squirt that baby out on the 19th over my dead body.

This can be arranged.

// grabs a car battery and jumper cables.


Can we at least agree on Danger as the middle name for the baby?
 
2017-09-29 09:50:50 PM  

Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: *schedules vasectomy*

We figure this is a souvenir from our Sonoma trip. Where we, haha, incidentally enough, were having a talk about Mr. S  scheduling a vasectomy.

/sobs
//pukes


Oh shiat. I just got it.

Congrats on embarking on this journey!
 
2017-09-29 09:50:50 PM  

Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: *schedules vasectomy*

We figure this is a souvenir from our Sonoma trip. Where we, haha, incidentally enough, were having a talk about Mr. S  scheduling a vasectomy.

/sobs
//pukes


Does adding wine help get babby formed?
 
2017-09-29 09:50:54 PM  

raerae1980: *crosses her legs*


It's the only way to sex them
 
2017-09-29 09:51:11 PM  

birdmanesq: Whoa! Mini Helen Keller! Awesome!


o/
 
2017-09-29 09:51:14 PM  
Some days im comfortable with not having kids.   Other days i feel regretful.   (._. )
 
2017-09-29 09:51:43 PM  

harleyquinnical: Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: *schedules vasectomy*

We figure this is a souvenir from our Sonoma trip. Where we, haha, incidentally enough, were having a talk about Mr. S  scheduling a vasectomy.

/sobs
//pukes

Does adding wine help get babby formed?


Depends where you add it.
 
2017-09-29 09:51:47 PM  

harleyquinnical: Does adding wine help get babby formed?


Unqualified yes.

Correlation is not causation, however, except when it is.
 
2017-09-29 09:52:29 PM  

raerae1980: Some days im comfortable with not having kids.   Other days i feel regretful.   (._. )


If you're not doing anything on Thursday/Friday, we need a stand-in nanny.
 
2017-09-29 09:52:48 PM  

farkingismybusiness: [img.fark.net image 122x432]
Some babies have teeth.


If it were a man it wouldn't be crying. He'd be getting ready for his double shift at the coal mine.
 
2017-09-29 09:53:16 PM  

Dance Party: The uterus is a very tough organ, and a small baby can't manage to chew threw it with bony little gums.

Well, that baby Alien thing could.


Babies are worthless at chewing.
 
2017-09-29 09:53:33 PM  
Jonathan Swift disapproves of this thread.
 
2017-09-29 09:53:37 PM  

harleyquinnical: Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: *schedules vasectomy*

We figure this is a souvenir from our Sonoma trip. Where we, haha, incidentally enough, were having a talk about Mr. S  scheduling a vasectomy.

/sobs
//pukes

Does adding wine help get babby formed?


Let's find out.
 
2017-09-29 09:53:57 PM  

raerae1980: Some days im comfortable with not having kids.   Other days i feel regretful.   (._. )


img.fark.net
 
2017-09-29 09:54:14 PM  

birdmanesq: harleyquinnical: Does adding wine help get babby formed?

Unqualified yes.

Correlation is not causation, however, except when it is.


I got a ridiculously good tannat in the mail the other day.
 
2017-09-29 09:54:53 PM  

wizden: Dance Party: The uterus is a very tough organ, and a small baby can't manage to chew threw it with bony little gums.

Well, that baby Alien thing could.

Babies are worthless at chewing.


Well they have the time. What do you think the baby's going to do?  MacGuyver his way out with an a Fallopian tube, amniotic fluid, and an IUD?
 
2017-09-29 09:55:27 PM  

wizden: Dance Party: The uterus is a very tough organ, and a small baby can't manage to chew threw it with bony little gums.

Well, that baby Alien thing could.

Babies are worthless at chewing.


With as strong of a grip as they have, I figure they just rip the uterus out from the inside if they wanted too.
 
2017-09-29 09:56:51 PM  

raerae1980: Some days im comfortable with not having kids.   Other days i feel regretful.   (._. )


The wife is fine until she holds a baby, and then the clock strikes again.
 
2017-09-29 09:57:03 PM  
Sorry to threadjack. I'll post a follow up if this invasive species begins gnawing at my uterine wall.
 
2017-09-29 09:57:24 PM  

birdmanesq: raerae1980: Some days im comfortable with not having kids.   Other days i feel regretful.   (._. )

If you're not doing anything on Thursday/Friday, we need a stand-in nanny.


*backs up slowly*
 
2017-09-29 09:57:39 PM  

flucto: birdmanesq: harleyquinnical: Does adding wine help get babby formed?

Unqualified yes.

Correlation is not causation, however, except when it is.

I got a ridiculously good tannat in the mail the other day.


Tell me more.
 
2017-09-29 09:57:51 PM  

Mrs.Sharpier: Sorry to threadjack. I'll post a follow up if this invasive species begins gnawing at my uterine wall.


Tell me more.
 
2017-09-29 09:58:07 PM  

Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: daphne: THIS got a green?  Mods trying to make us look special ed?  WTF?  To answer subby's question, babby is fed quite adequately through the umbilical cord, unless it is an undead zom baby and are you watching the Dawn of the Dead remake?  Is that it?

/cranky

You sound hormonal. Are you pregnant?


PMS. But I do not have a womb to gestate a cannibal embryo. So bitter
 
2017-09-29 09:58:18 PM  

Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: wizden: Dance Party: The uterus is a very tough organ, and a small baby can't manage to chew threw it with bony little gums.

Well, that baby Alien thing could.

Babies are worthless at chewing.

Well they have the time. What do you think the baby's going to do?  MacGuyver his way out with an a Fallopian tube, amniotic fluid, and an IUD?


img.fark.net
 
2017-09-29 09:58:46 PM  

EggFool: daphne: THIS got a green?  Mods trying to make us look special ed?  WTF?  To answer subby's question, babby is fed quite adequately through the umbilical cord, unless it is an undead zom baby and are you watching the Dawn of the Dead remake?  Is that it?

/cranky

Simmer down.  Come sit by me.


No onions please
 
2017-09-29 09:58:52 PM  
Can we suggest names?
 
2017-09-29 09:59:02 PM  
how is prangent formed
Youtube EShUeudtaFg
 
2017-09-29 09:59:06 PM  

Mrs.Sharpier: shiat. I forgot this is a greened thread.


You can  report comments you want deleted.
 
2017-09-29 09:59:15 PM  

harleyquinnical: wizden: Dance Party: The uterus is a very tough organ, and a small baby can't manage to chew threw it with bony little gums.

Well, that baby Alien thing could.

Babies are worthless at chewing.

With as strong of a grip as they have, I figure they just rip the uterus out from the inside if they wanted too.


BABY HULK SMASH!
img.fark.net
 
2017-09-29 09:59:26 PM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: raerae1980: Some days im comfortable with not having kids.   Other days i feel regretful.   (._. )

[img.fark.net image 800x350]


Ha!
 
2017-09-29 10:00:44 PM  

mitchcumstein1: Can we suggest names?


Danger has to be the middle name.
 
2017-09-29 10:01:33 PM  

valanienna: [YouTube video]


PrrrrreGANTE!
 
2017-09-29 10:01:37 PM  
So, uhhhh...

img.fark.net
 
2017-09-29 10:01:48 PM  

birdmanesq: flucto: birdmanesq: harleyquinnical: Does adding wine help get babby formed?

Unqualified yes.

Correlation is not causation, however, except when it is.

I got a ridiculously good tannat in the mail the other day.

Tell me more.


Markham 2014 Tannat. They sent me a bottle and it was so good I have to wonder if it was due to the cheese I was eating or the meal or maybe cosmic rays or something. It was so, so good. So I bought a few more to make sure. If it's as good as I thought I'll load up a truck full.
 
2017-09-29 10:02:04 PM  

Chris Ween: Mrs.Sharpier: shiat. I forgot this is a greened thread.

You can  report comments you want deleted.


That's okay. Fark.com has all of what, eleventeen users?
 
2017-09-29 10:02:17 PM  

mitchcumstein1: Can we suggest names?


Not Mitch.
 
2017-09-29 10:02:38 PM  

IvyLady: So, uhhhh...

[img.fark.net image 425x356]


Lol
 
2017-09-29 10:02:39 PM  

mitchcumstein1: Can we suggest names?


Permanent Sharpier
 
2017-09-29 10:03:00 PM  
i.pinimg.com
 
2017-09-29 10:03:32 PM  

flucto: mitchcumstein1: Can we suggest names?

Permanent Sharpier


*golf clap*
 
2017-09-29 10:03:58 PM  

Mrs.Sharpier: mitchcumstein1: Can we suggest names?

Not Mitch.


Oh god no.
 
2017-09-29 10:03:58 PM  
Chiara if she's a girl.
 
2017-09-29 10:04:08 PM  

flucto: mitchcumstein1: Can we suggest names?

Permanent Sharpier


Surprise Announcement....but with a French accent.  So it sound more like Sous Vide Andouile.
 
2017-09-29 10:04:16 PM  

Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: italie: Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: italie: Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)

So...

April 18, 2018

I'm *thrilled*

Really?!?  In that case you need to have the baby a week earlier so we could have the same birthday!

Fark that. Mines on the 19th.

//We're playing by Price is right rules, correct?

*throws down gloves*

She'll squirt that baby out on the 19th over my dead body.

This can be arranged.

// grabs a car battery and jumper cables.

Can we at least agree on Danger as the middle name for the baby?


High motherfarking five on that.
 
2017-09-29 10:05:12 PM  
www.fukarf.com
 
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