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(Fark)   Shouldn't pregnant people be worried that their babies might eat their way out?   ( fark.com) divider line
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2212 clicks; posted to Geek » on 29 Sep 2017 at 10:33 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-09-29 09:31:57 PM  

vudukungfu: Seriously, though. The REAL question is how come women's guts don't slide out.


That actually is a good question. You'd figure when they fish out all that afterbirth that an intestine or two would slide on out.
 
2017-09-29 09:32:31 PM  

Brawndo: Earthworm Jim Jones: Sweet!

Got a link to any of his work?

This is just the thread you want to read before tomorrow.


Lol
 
2017-09-29 09:33:07 PM  

unsolicited dick pic: RCF, the mama eater

Wait...


"It's been three hours, shouldn't the placenta be out by now?"
 
2017-09-29 09:33:10 PM  
The grasp of biology in this thread, it troubles me.
 
2017-09-29 09:34:27 PM  

birdmanesq: The Geek Tab?

Well, this will dissolve into cunnilingus jokes in under 50 posts.


Do twin girls occasionally flip flop in the womb and, ya know...
 
2017-09-29 09:34:40 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-09-29 09:34:46 PM  
But when they do get teeth they will try to bite you.
 
2017-09-29 09:35:45 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-09-29 09:36:34 PM  
(._.)
 
2017-09-29 09:36:44 PM  
The uterus is a very tough organ, and a small baby can't manage to chew threw it with bony little gums.

Well, that baby Alien thing could.
 
2017-09-29 09:36:49 PM  

EggFool: But when they do get teeth they will try to bite you.


Well, I imagine when they get their fingers, they just drag them along the inside of the belly. It's gotta hurt a little when the fetus gets his fingernails.
 
2017-09-29 09:37:04 PM  

EggFool: But when they do get teeth they will try to bite you.


Bite the handbreast that feeds you
 
2017-09-29 09:38:13 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-09-29 09:38:31 PM  

Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: EggFool: But when they do get teeth they will try to bite you.

Well, I imagine when they get their fingers, they just drag them along the inside of the belly. It's gotta hurt a little when the fetus gets his fingernails.


Why do you think the babies are trying to hurt their mommies?
 
2017-09-29 09:39:22 PM  
img.fark.net
Some babies have teeth.
 
2017-09-29 09:39:26 PM  

Chris Ween: Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: birdmanesq: The Geek Tab?

Well, this will dissolve into cunnilingus jokes in under 50 posts.

Should it go into Politics then?

Do you want answers or arguments?


Yessss.... Because science is what's required here...
 
2017-09-29 09:39:27 PM  

EggFool: Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: EggFool: But when they do get teeth they will try to bite you.

Well, I imagine when they get their fingers, they just drag them along the inside of the belly. It's gotta hurt a little when the fetus gets his fingernails.

Why do you think the babies are trying to hurt their mommies?


Because they're children and therefore evil.
 
2017-09-29 09:39:33 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: EggFool: But when they do get teeth they will try to bite you.

Bite the handbreast that feeds you


Or their brother's finger.
 
2017-09-29 09:39:37 PM  

Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)


So...
 
2017-09-29 09:39:40 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: EggFool: But when they do get teeth they will try to bite you.

Bite the handbreast that feeds you


Wait, they latch on like with their teeth?
 
2017-09-29 09:40:30 PM  

EggFool: Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: EggFool: But when they do get teeth they will try to bite you.

Well, I imagine when they get their fingers, they just drag them along the inside of the belly. It's gotta hurt a little when the fetus gets his fingernails.

Why do you think the babies are trying to hurt their mommies?


I think they don't know where they are and are just exploring.
 
2017-09-29 09:40:46 PM  

no1curr: Babies are barely-sentient parasites who are continually fed and resting quite comfortably (in most circumstances). Birth is basically the landlady evicting a freeloading tenant. On other words, why would they want to ruin such a good thing?

just draw an arrow to the answer already provided in your question
 
2017-09-29 09:41:07 PM  

birdmanesq: Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)

So...


April 18, 2018

I'm *thrilled*
 
2017-09-29 09:41:35 PM  

EggFool: Bathia_Mapes: EggFool: But when they do get teeth they will try to bite you.

Bite the handbreast that feeds you

Or their brother's finger.


Chaaaaalie bit meee. That really houttts.
 
2017-09-29 09:41:37 PM  
Y'all are focused on teeth? The real tool of escape would be their tiny goddamn razor blade fingernails.

I was sliced up immediately after the twins arrived. Vicious little jerks.
 
2017-09-29 09:42:32 PM  
All of you have just made Jesus cry. All of you.
 
2017-09-29 09:42:47 PM  

Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)

So...

April 18, 2018

I'm *thrilled*


Really?!?  In that case you need to have the baby a week earlier so we could have the same birthday!
 
2017-09-29 09:43:17 PM  

Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)

So...

April 18, 2018

I'm *thrilled*


Counts on hand....


WHOOT!  \o/
 
2017-09-29 09:43:28 PM  
How stoned do you have to be to worry about this? Eggy stoned or all the way to Rae?
 
2017-09-29 09:43:40 PM  

italie: All of you have just made Jesus cry. All of you.


His tears fuel my soul.
 
2017-09-29 09:43:57 PM  

Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: Bathia_Mapes: EggFool: But when they do get teeth they will try to bite you.

Bite the handbreast that feeds you

Wait, they latch on like with their teeth?


It's not uncommon for babies to get their first tooth while they're still being breastfed. Sometimes baby bites mommy's boob, but not to intentionally hurt their mother.
 
2017-09-29 09:44:16 PM  

Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)

So...

April 18, 2018

I'm *thrilled*


I like babies so much. Appoint me official spoiling uncle.
 
2017-09-29 09:44:39 PM  
Every family needs a middle child.  Right?
 
2017-09-29 09:44:48 PM  

Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)

So...

April 18, 2018

I'm *thrilled*

Really?!?  In that case you need to have the baby a week earlier so we could have the same birthday!


Fark that. Mines on the 19th.

//We're playing by Price is right rules, correct?
 
2017-09-29 09:45:02 PM  

Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: vudukungfu: Seriously, though. The REAL question is how come women's guts don't slide out.

That actually is a good question. You'd figure when they fish out all that afterbirth that an intestine or two would slide on out.


I'll leave you to google images of uterine prolapse.
 
2017-09-29 09:45:15 PM  

Mr. Fuzzypaws: italie: All of you have just made Jesus cry. All of you.

His tears fuel my soul.


Fair enough.
 
2017-09-29 09:45:25 PM  
*schedules vasectomy*
 
2017-09-29 09:45:31 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: Bathia_Mapes: EggFool: But when they do get teeth they will try to bite you.

Bite the handbreast that feeds you

Wait, they latch on like with their teeth?

It's not uncommon for babies to get their first tooth while they're still being breastfed. Sometimes baby bites mommy's boob, but not to intentionally hurt their mother.


I just figured they sucked on like lampreys to sharks.
 
2017-09-29 09:45:44 PM  
Italie is a great name for a baby.
 
2017-09-29 09:46:03 PM  
shiat. I forgot this is a greened thread.
 
2017-09-29 09:46:10 PM  

flucto: Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)

So...

April 18, 2018

I'm *thrilled*

I like babies so much. Appoint me official spoiling uncle.


And I'll teach him French and economics.
 
2017-09-29 09:46:28 PM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: I was a pregnant person, once.

Once.


i.imgur.com
 
2017-09-29 09:47:13 PM  

italie: Helen Keller's Moaning Hand: Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)

So...

April 18, 2018

I'm *thrilled*

Really?!?  In that case you need to have the baby a week earlier so we could have the same birthday!

Fark that. Mines on the 19th.

//We're playing by Price is right rules, correct?


*throws down gloves*

She'll squirt that baby out on the 19th over my dead body.
 
2017-09-29 09:47:29 PM  

Mrs.Sharpier: Every family needs a middle child.  Right?


You can't have a middle child last.  It doesn't work that way.

Congrats.
 
2017-09-29 09:47:41 PM  

harleyquinnical: Badafuco: Womb stew.

It's Uterus, not Uterstew.


Lol!

And kinda gross.
 
2017-09-29 09:47:46 PM  

EggFool: Bathia_Mapes: EggFool: But when they do get teeth they will try to bite you.

Bite the handbreast that feeds you

Or their brother's finger.


It's a natural reflex

img.fark.netOMNOMNOM
 
2017-09-29 09:47:54 PM  

birdmanesq: *schedules vasectomy*


I once knew a guy who scheduled a vasectomy 3 times. Each time, he ended up at the bar across the street.

Wife went with the fourth time.

// He had 3 kids. Not sure if there is a connection.
 
2017-09-29 09:47:54 PM  

birdmanesq: *schedules vasectomy*


We figure this is a souvenir from our Sonoma trip. Where we, haha, incidentally enough, were having a talk about Mr. S  scheduling a vasectomy.

/sobs
//pukes
 
2017-09-29 09:47:58 PM  

Mrs.Sharpier: birdmanesq: Mrs.Sharpier: (._.)

So...

April 18, 2018

I'm *thrilled*


Congratulations!
 
2017-09-29 09:48:30 PM  
*crosses her legs*
 
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