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(National Post)   Grab your paddle and crack open a Molson, the Mounties can no longer pinch Canadians for drunk canoeing   ( nationalpost.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, impaired driving laws, Canoe, Canoeing, Criminal law, drunk driving charges, impaired driving laws., Boat, criminal impaired driving  
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2575 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Sep 2017 at 4:50 PM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



75 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2017-09-28 03:57:35 PM  
It's drunken adventure you seek?
Then let's go get lost up a creek!
Canucks, grab a case,
get smashed off your face,
And pray that you don't spring a leak.
 
2017-09-28 04:01:03 PM  
Well, it looks like drunken assholes are back on the menu for the Grand River. The damn thing usually eats three of four people a year.
 
2017-09-28 04:06:41 PM  
Our long, national nightmare is over.
 
2017-09-28 04:08:50 PM  
Back off, Dudley Doright!  Just concentrate on saving Nell Fenwick.
 
2017-09-28 04:09:48 PM  
Shiat, I've been drunk canoeing myself. Never considered it might be illegal.
 
2017-09-28 04:15:25 PM  
LaBatt Blue is more of a drunk canoeing beer in my opinion.

That or Lucky Lager.
 
2017-09-28 04:26:32 PM  

Rev.K: LaBatt Blue is more of a drunk canoeing beer in my opinion.

That or Lucky Lager.


Lucky is for slow pitch or shotgunning after a day fly fishing.
 
2017-09-28 04:32:03 PM  

Rev.K: LaBatt Blue is more of a drunk canoeing beer in my opinion.

That or Lucky Lager.


Proper application of Lucky Lager:
 
2017-09-28 04:37:54 PM  
Someone should think of the beaver.
 
2017-09-28 04:40:01 PM  
Well, in the case of muscular or human-powered vessels, there can be far many more numbers of people in the vessel, and it also affects people around the vessel. First responders, people who are searching for people who get lost or get in trouble.

Okay is that really a problem though, are there stats that say others are being impacted? And if that is the case, is it the kind of problem that needs a solution that includes a criminal conviction? Because they can still get charged with drunk in public which isn't a criminal charge.
 
2017-09-28 04:40:21 PM  

unyon: Rev.K: LaBatt Blue is more of a drunk canoeing beer in my opinion.

That or Lucky Lager.

Proper application of Lucky Lager:


I'm thinking a bubba will make a good flotation device when the canoe inevitably tips.
 
2017-09-28 04:52:02 PM  
I'm more of a drunk tuber. Canoeing takes too much effort.
 
2017-09-28 04:52:30 PM  
You shouldn't pinch Canadians anyway. If you break the skin, you could get sprayed with their viscous, tar like acid blood.
 
2017-09-28 04:53:39 PM  
Hang on, people actually went canoeing sober????? On purpose? Or porpoise?
 
2017-09-28 04:54:00 PM  
The fark, eh?

So what's the legal action if someone gets hurt or dies because of drunken canoeing?
 
2017-09-28 04:54:23 PM  
My dad will be stoked.

And yeah, Lucky.
 
2017-09-28 04:55:37 PM  
That's no longer a paddlin'.
 
2017-09-28 04:56:31 PM  

unyon: Rev.K: LaBatt Blue is more of a drunk canoeing beer in my opinion.

That or Lucky Lager.

Proper application of Lucky Lager:


I love The Dudes!
 
2017-09-28 04:57:08 PM  

make me some tea: Shiat, I've been drunk canoeing myself. Never considered it might be illegal.


No kidding. Being in a boat w/o booze? Inconceivable!
 
2017-09-28 04:59:56 PM  
I don't like boats.

I don't go on boats.

So I'll just continue drinking on land, thanks.
 
2017-09-28 05:02:11 PM  
I love boats, but the first half of the headline had me expecting something more fun.
 
2017-09-28 05:02:41 PM  
Thank god, that was one really stupid law. Drinking and bicycling is still illegal in ontario though. Also, if you ever get pulled over on a bicycle for lack or a bell or something, give them your health card, not your driver's licence, or it will count as a driving infraction and your insurance will go up.
 
2017-09-28 05:03:38 PM  
Been known to quaff a few on the water, but F that Canadian crap.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-28 05:04:59 PM  
Gonna have to ask you to do a field sobriety test...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-28 05:06:36 PM  

Short Victoria's War: Gonna have to ask you to do a field sobriety test...

[img.fark.net image 850x637]


No one can paddle a canoe at 12m/s. That's bullsh*t. F*ck that quiz.
 
2017-09-28 05:08:32 PM  
Also, Mr. Canoehead not impressed:

Mr. Canoehead - Episode 1
Youtube cnhCghc4wHU
 
2017-09-28 05:08:40 PM  

unyon: Rev.K: LaBatt Blue is more of a drunk canoeing beer in my opinion.

That or Lucky Lager.

Proper application of Lucky Lager:


fark that made me thirsty.

I'm going to harness up the critters and walk them up to the beer store and get me a 8 pack of Luck dogs as soon as I get home from work.

Thanks!!!
 
2017-09-28 05:17:25 PM  
Great, more drunken idiots polluting the water ways.
/Irritated kayaker.
// Tired of seeing cans and bottles in the water.
/// slashies
 
2017-09-28 05:26:09 PM  

whidbey: The fark, eh?

So what's the legal action if someone gets hurt or dies because of drunken canoeing?


I believe criminal negligence statues will cover that just fine.
 
2017-09-28 05:29:05 PM  

John Buck 41: make me some tea: Shiat, I've been drunk canoeing myself. Never considered it might be illegal.

No kidding. Being in a boat w/o booze? Inconceivable!


It's a DUI up here in WA.

Yeah. It is.
 
2017-09-28 05:33:22 PM  

Lars The Canadian Viking: Thank god, that was one really stupid law. Drinking and bicycling is still illegal in ontario though. Also, if you ever get pulled over on a bicycle for lack or a bell or something, give them your health card, not your driver's licence, or it will count as a driving infraction and your insurance will go up.


Yeah, because cops have NO way to look up your license unless you hand it to them! Being fined for breaching the traffic safety act doesn't require a license.  But if you have one, rest assured it's going on your abstract.

Dude, even in the early 90s when we barely had SCMODS that wouldn't have worked.

Also, you can't fight the ticket just because he wasn't wearing his hat, either. And no, he doesn't have to "show you the radar". Oh, and there's no freebie percentage of leeway attached to the speed limit.

Any other urban myths we can clear up for you?
 
2017-09-28 05:34:52 PM  

whidbey: John Buck 41: make me some tea: Shiat, I've been drunk canoeing myself. Never considered it might be illegal.

No kidding. Being in a boat w/o booze? Inconceivable!

It's a DUI up here in WA.

Yeah. It is.


It is in Canada, too.  Just no longer in a canoe, apparently.

It's a canoe.  I'm honestly okay with this from a big-picture perspective.
 
2017-09-28 05:40:44 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-28 05:41:59 PM  

anustart: whidbey: John Buck 41: make me some tea: Shiat, I've been drunk canoeing myself. Never considered it might be illegal.

No kidding. Being in a boat w/o booze? Inconceivable!

It's a DUI up here in WA.

Yeah. It is.

It is in Canada, too.  Just no longer in a canoe, apparently.

It's a canoe.  I'm honestly okay with this from a big-picture perspective.


cannabislifenetwork.comView Full Size
 
2017-09-28 05:48:27 PM  

Rev.K: LaBatt Blue is more of a drunk canoeing beer in my opinion.

That or Lucky Lager.


Ahem
greenfieldbrands.comView Full Size
 
2017-09-28 05:48:30 PM  

Maud Dib: Been known to quaff a few on the water, but F that Canadian crap.

[img.fark.net image 850x637]


some of that 'Canadian crap' is pretty damn good.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-28 05:51:07 PM  

litespeed74: Maud Dib: Been known to quaff a few on the water, but F that Canadian crap.

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

some of that 'Canadian crap' is pretty damn good.

[img.fark.net image 544x960]


Canuck beer isn't bad in cans or bottles, but the beer usually tastes flat on tap.

What is up with that?
 
2017-09-28 05:52:10 PM  

Short Victoria's War: Gonna have to ask you to do a field sobriety test...

[img.fark.net image 850x637]


9.08 m/s moving left?
 
2017-09-28 05:58:10 PM  

unyon: Rev.K: LaBatt Blue is more of a drunk canoeing beer in my opinion.

That or Lucky Lager.

Proper application of Lucky Lager:


Never heard of this band before but I like it!
 
2017-09-28 05:58:59 PM  

Evil Mackerel: Great, more drunken idiots polluting the water ways.
/Irritated kayaker.
// Tired of seeing cans and bottles in the water.

That is a littering offense, not a DWI one. Plus, cans and bottles can be sunk if you are not too drunk to care.
 I agree that putting your trash in the water is offensive, but Draconian open container laws mean you should sink it when you see the OPP coming
Back to the subject at hand, how about small sailboats such as Sunfish etc? Where does the line get drawn?
 
2017-09-28 06:03:03 PM  
Last time I kayaked drunk I flipped my boat in the marsh and lost my wallet with 400 dollars. Fark that. The hippy lettuce is enough. Good to have options though.
 
2017-09-28 06:03:20 PM  

Type random string here: Short Victoria's War: Gonna have to ask you to do a field sobriety test...

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

9.08 m/s moving left?


*cracks open another beer*

Uh... sure
 
2017-09-28 06:03:41 PM  

Rev.K: Short Victoria's War: Gonna have to ask you to do a field sobriety test...

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

No one can paddle a canoe at 12m/s. That's bullsh*t. F*ck that quiz.


Paddle? No. Small outboard/trolling motor? Sure.
 
2017-09-28 06:06:10 PM  

whidbey: John Buck 41: make me some tea: Shiat, I've been drunk canoeing myself. Never considered it might be illegal.

No kidding. Being in a boat w/o booze? Inconceivable!

It's a DUI up here in WA.

Yeah. It is.


That's a shame. Does that affect car license too or just boats? And I would think if one wasn't actually under the influence it would just be a silly open container violation.
 
2017-09-28 06:08:49 PM  

anustart: there's no freebie percentage of leeway attached to the speed limit.


Maybe not where you live.
 
2017-09-28 06:14:33 PM  

John Buck 41: whidbey: John Buck 41: make me some tea: Shiat, I've been drunk canoeing myself. Never considered it might be illegal.

No kidding. Being in a boat w/o booze? Inconceivable!

It's a DUI up here in WA.

Yeah. It is.

That's a shame. Does that affect car license too or just boats? And I would think if one wasn't actually under the influence it would just be a silly open container violation.


I've never personally known anyone who got busted. But I've seen the Seattle Police Patrol boat out there amongst the pleasure cruisers.

Seems like you'd really have to do something dumb to get a DUI on a boat.
 
2017-09-28 06:14:45 PM  

Rev.K: Short Victoria's War: Gonna have to ask you to do a field sobriety test...

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

No one can paddle a canoe at 12m/s. That's bullsh*t. F*ck that quiz.


Obviously, you're not a whitewater golfer.
 
2017-09-28 06:17:52 PM  

John Buck 41: anustart: there's no freebie percentage of leeway attached to the speed limit.

Maybe not where you live.


I'd be interested to know of ANY jurisdiction in North America where that is codified. However I admittedly can only attest to Canada.
 
2017-09-28 06:20:19 PM  
Every day, I tell the old lady, Canada looks better and better. This almost seals it.
 
2017-09-28 06:23:09 PM  

Nick Nostril: Every day, I tell the old lady, Canada looks better and better. This almost seals it.


You can only hang out there 6 months a year.

Unless you have something professionally awesome to bring to the table.
 
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