Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Jalopnik)   Ever wondered what those holes in the sides of Buicks are called? (Hint: Not 'speed holes')   ( jalopnik.com) divider line
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

4869 clicks; posted to Geek » on 24 Sep 2017 at 3:14 AM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-09-23 10:07:45 PM  
Rust?
 
2017-09-23 10:30:36 PM  
Jack holes?
 
2017-09-24 12:11:42 AM  
What do the four ventiports and crushed velour interior of a 1978 Buick Electra Park Avenue land yacht say to you?  Shriner or pimp?
classicvehicleslist.comView Full Size
 
2017-09-24 12:16:52 AM  
Yeah, came to post 'Ventiports', then go back to read the article and check to see if my memory was right.  Looks like it was.
 
2017-09-24 12:20:24 AM  
Huh.  Checked the article.  Pretty cool - I wish they'd go back to installing lights in them and triggering each one from a distributor port.
 
2017-09-24 01:49:41 AM  

stan unusual: What do the four ventiports and crushed velour interior of a 1978 Buick Electra Park Avenue land yacht say to you?  Shriner or pimp?
[classicvehicleslist.com image 640x480]


This thing was at Whangamata 2017

img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size

more here (scroll down)
 
2017-09-24 01:53:54 AM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: Huh.  Checked the article.  Pretty cool - I wish they'd go back to installing lights in them and triggering each one from a distributor port.


It's not a major to do if you have a 50's or 60's Roadmaster

Don't dick around trying to hook up to the distributor; just wire in some LEDs - no-one will know the difference

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-24 03:58:38 AM  

stan unusual: What do the four ventiports and crushed velour interior of a 1978 Buick Electra Park Avenue land yacht say to you?  Shriner or pimp?
[classicvehicleslist.com image 640x480]


A bit of both.

Car Wash (5/10) Movie CLIP - Daddy Rich Arrives (1976) HD
Youtube XbTEusaf2nU
 
2017-09-24 04:09:15 AM  

mjjt: stan unusual: What do the four ventiports and crushed velour interior of a 1978 Buick Electra Park Avenue land yacht say to you?  Shriner or pimp?
[classicvehicleslist.com image 640x480]

This thing was at Whangamata 2017

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

[img.fark.net image 850x637]
more here (scroll down)


I never realised you could use an old 60s cushion to steer.

Maybe my girlfriend is onto something buying all these seemingly useless things from the op shop.
 
2017-09-24 04:31:52 AM  
Just popping in to say "No."

Have owned three 'luxury' class  Buicks and learned it with the first one..  That said..

Holy Carp..!   None o'mine looked anything like the pics you guys put up..  I want a refund or an immediate upgrade..!!      =)
 
2017-09-24 05:13:40 AM  
I've owned one Buick in my life, and as far as I know it didn't have ventiports.

img.fark.netView Full Size
/Not the one I owned, but basically the same
//If I had it to do over, would have kept the car and skipped the ex
 
2017-09-24 05:58:03 AM  
The first person to spot a three-hole Buick earned three free punches to take out on some helpless victim.  The more rare four-hole Buick was, yes, worth four free punches.  A 'punchiac' was worth one punch.

/no one ever collected
 
2017-09-24 06:49:28 AM  

bearded clamorer: Rust?


I've had a 71 Skylark and 73 Riviera. It's definitely rust.
 
2017-09-24 07:44:08 AM  
All the Buicks I see on the road, have old people behind the wheel. So definitively not speed holes.
 
2017-09-24 07:58:00 AM  
What are the fake ones called that people slap on garbage like the PT Cruiser? Ugly? Just plain stupid?
 
2017-09-24 08:35:28 AM  
Portholes when I was a kid, because they were boats.
 
2017-09-24 08:36:28 AM  
Though I should talk...my Pontiac has nostrils that serve no purpose beyond cosmetic.
 
2017-09-24 08:51:34 AM  
dick holsters?
 
2017-09-24 09:04:34 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-24 09:42:16 AM  

mjjt: stan unusual: What do the four ventiports and crushed velour interior of a 1978 Buick Electra Park Avenue land yacht say to you?  Shriner or pimp?
[classicvehicleslist.com image 640x480]

This thing was at Whangamata 2017

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

[img.fark.net image 850x637]
more here (scroll down)


Wow, I'd drove that car in the nude. Really FEEL that velour.
 
2017-09-24 10:11:16 AM  
Oh, now I'm totally going to add the lighted versions to my wife's minivan.

/Spent far too much time reading about Cadillac Allantes after this.
 
2017-09-24 10:45:45 AM  
GM can call them whatever they want. People call them portholes.
 
2017-09-24 10:55:57 AM  
Can You Steal The Spirit of Ecstasy?
Youtube aj53HuWBfjE
 
2017-09-24 11:20:27 AM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: Huh.  Checked the article.  Pretty cool - I wish they'd go back to installing lights in them and triggering each one from a distributor port.


Take it a step further.  Have a small tube from each exhaust header to a port, and use a hi-power LED to flash into the exhaust.  Might be noisy, but it might look pretty cool.

CSB
When I was in the Navy, I (a Machinist's Mate in A Gang) was cross-trained to run the large ALCO 251C diesel motor-generators, as our division had too many MMs and not enough Enginemen.  3 huge, 16 cylinder locomotive engines, each driving a 1500KW generator.  We had to manually open a vent valve on each cylinder and turn the engine over a few times to vent it properly.  With 16 cylinders, forgetting to close one vent was fairly common.  Once that diesel started going, though, you'd see and hear that 1-foot flame coming out of the vent.  Didn't hurt anything, but it was noisy.  When we had all 3 engines lit off, you had to wear both earplugs and headphones to save your hearing.
/CSB
 
2017-09-24 01:45:46 PM  
For some reason Maseratis have them, too, making them even douchier.
 
2017-09-24 01:49:57 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


Fry Holes?
 
2017-09-24 02:27:24 PM  

indy_kid: Nicholas D. Wolfwood: Huh.  Checked the article.  Pretty cool - I wish they'd go back to installing lights in them and triggering each one from a distributor port.

Take it a step further.  Have a small tube from each exhaust header to a port, and use a hi-power LED to flash into the exhaust.  Might be noisy, but it might look pretty cool.

CSB
When I was in the Navy, I (a Machinist's Mate in A Gang) was cross-trained to run the large ALCO 251C diesel motor-generators, as our division had too many MMs and not enough Enginemen.  3 huge, 16 cylinder locomotive engines, each driving a 1500KW generator.  We had to manually open a vent valve on each cylinder and turn the engine over a few times to vent it properly.  With 16 cylinders, forgetting to close one vent was fairly common.  Once that diesel started going, though, you'd see and hear that 1-foot flame coming out of the vent.  Didn't hurt anything, but it was noisy.  When we had all 3 engines lit off, you had to wear both earplugs and headphones to save your hearing.
/CSB


Were your insides liquefied by the end of your shift, though?
 
2017-09-24 03:30:51 PM  

mjjt: stan unusual: What do the four ventiports and crushed velour interior of a 1978 Buick Electra Park Avenue land yacht say to you?  Shriner or pimp?
[classicvehicleslist.com image 640x480]

This thing was at Whangamata 2017

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

[img.fark.net image 850x637]
more here (scroll down)


Now that is... Erm... Something.

Plush?
 
2017-09-24 03:41:08 PM  
what do you call the opera windows in a Nash Metropolitan?
 
2017-09-24 03:42:03 PM  

Boojum2k: I've owned one Buick in my life, and as far as I know it didn't have ventiports.

[img.fark.net image 400x225]/Not the one I owned, but basically the same
//If I had it to do over, would have kept the car and skipped the ex


They are right there in the picture!!! Are you effing with us?
 
2017-09-25 03:39:38 AM  

uttertosh: Boojum2k: I've owned one Buick in my life, and as far as I know it didn't have ventiports.

[img.fark.net image 400x225]/Not the one I owned, but basically the same
//If I had it to do over, would have kept the car and skipped the ex

They are right there in the picture!!! Are you effing with us?


He probably had the regular Grand National (no ventiports), not the GNX. I miss my GN :(
 
2017-09-25 03:52:36 AM  

Galius_Persnickety: uttertosh: Boojum2k: I've owned one Buick in my life, and as far as I know it didn't have ventiports.

[img.fark.net image 400x225]/Not the one I owned, but basically the same
//If I had it to do over, would have kept the car and skipped the ex

They are right there in the picture!!! Are you effing with us?

He probably had the regular Grand National (no ventiports), not the GNX. I miss my GN :(


Yeah, mine was an 85 GN, so not even intercooled. Still ran like a bat out of hell.
 
2017-09-25 05:24:18 AM  

Boojum2k: Galius_Persnickety: uttertosh: Boojum2k: I've owned one Buick in my life, and as far as I know it didn't have ventiports.

[img.fark.net image 400x225]/Not the one I owned, but basically the same
//If I had it to do over, would have kept the car and skipped the ex

They are right there in the picture!!! Are you effing with us?

He probably had the regular Grand National (no ventiports), not the GNX. I miss my GN :(

Yeah, mine was an 85 GN, so not even intercooled. Still ran like a bat out of hell.


Also: isn't that the car from the original Robocop movie? It looks quite like it from that angle. If so, then it's been my fantasy car for, well, since I saw it in Robocop, actually.

I don't even have a license, but it's a car I'd love to own just as much as a DeLorean.
 
2017-09-25 10:57:26 AM  
"They're where you put the tampons when Dyna flows."

--bad "mom joke" from when she was a teenager in the 1950s
 
2017-09-25 12:18:16 PM  

mjjt: stan unusual: What do the four ventiports and crushed velour interior of a 1978 Buick Electra Park Avenue land yacht say to you?  Shriner or pimp?
[classicvehicleslist.com image 640x480]

This thing was at Whangamata 2017

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

[img.fark.net image 850x637]

[img.fark.net image 850x637]
more here (scroll down)


Oh man! This is where Tacky turns to the camera and says, "At least I'm not THAT bad!" LOL
 
2017-09-25 01:45:12 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: All the Buicks I see on the road, have old people behind the wheel. So definitively not speed holes.


Apparently you've never seen one of these?
https://myclassicgarage.com/marketplace/knowledge_base/1970-buick-gs
With 510 lb-ft of torque, an off-the-shop-floor model could lift the front tires off the ground.

Buick wasn't all Electra-LeSabre-Roadmasters...

Of course, I don't think the Skylark line ever had the ventiports...
 
2017-09-25 02:42:26 PM  
Much a spoiler on a front-wheel-drive car, those holes on Buicks are for nothing.  NOTHING.
 
Displayed 37 of 37 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report