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(AOL)   Headline: "Is my drinking normal, or am I an alcoholic?" Well, you're reading this on Fark, so there you go   ( aol.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Alcoholism, alcohol, alcohol use disorder, potential alcohol problems, alcohol abuse issues, Alcohol abuse, people, full-on diagnosable alcoholism  
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4557 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Sep 2017 at 12:50 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



189 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-09-20 11:40:06 AM  
The most important thing here is that if you have to ask this question, and you then go to AOL News for an answer, you have bigger problems than potential alcoholism in your life.
 
2017-09-20 11:43:24 AM  
AOL is still a thing?
 
2017-09-20 11:50:09 AM  
14 drinks per week?

img.fark.net
 
2017-09-20 11:50:40 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-09-20 11:56:32 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-09-20 12:17:55 PM  
By current medical standards, I've been a full-tilt-boogie alcky since 1976

/And I don't even drink much anymore
//Still considered an alcky
///Probably much more accurate the first 30 years
 
2017-09-20 12:52:18 PM  
So, substandard, then. Need to drink more, yes?
 
2017-09-20 12:52:34 PM  
MaudlinMutantMollusk

By current medical standards, I've been a full-tilt-boogie alcky since 1976

/And I don't even drink much anymore
//Still considered an alcky
///Probably much more accurate the first 30 years


Always though it was spelled "alkie"
 
2017-09-20 12:54:07 PM  
files.explosm.net
 
2017-09-20 12:55:08 PM  

kdawg7736: AOL is still a thing?


AlcohOL.
 
2017-09-20 12:55:49 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: MaudlinMutantMollusk

By current medical standards, I've been a full-tilt-boogie alcky since 1976

/And I don't even drink much anymore
//Still considered an alcky
///Probably much more accurate the first 30 years

Always though it was spelled "alkie"


Spellcheck was going to puke either way, so I just went with fewer keystrokes

/Now I need a drink
 
2017-09-20 12:56:04 PM  
"Am I an alcoholic?" is the same as asking "Does this small craft advisory apply to me?"  If you have to ask, the answer is "probably"
 
2017-09-20 12:56:41 PM  
When you're all drunk, the teetotalers play pranks on you then take incriminating pictures.

Sobriety pays off.
 
2017-09-20 12:57:03 PM  

Eli WhiskeyDik: 14 drinks per week?

[img.fark.net image 255x198]


That's why I drink out of these.  14 a week works out just fine.
img.fark.net
 
2017-09-20 12:57:26 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Random Anonymous Blackmail: MaudlinMutantMollusk

By current medical standards, I've been a full-tilt-boogie alcky since 1976

/And I don't even drink much anymore
//Still considered an alcky
///Probably much more accurate the first 30 years

Always though it was spelled "alkie"

Spellcheck was going to puke either way, so I just went with fewer keystrokes

/Now I need a drink


files.explosm.net
 
2017-09-20 12:57:39 PM  
As long as you don't neglect any of your responsibilities due to drinking, you don't have a problem.
 
2017-09-20 12:58:37 PM  
I thought questions asked in headlines were automatic nos?
 
2017-09-20 12:58:43 PM  
Is my drinking normal?

No.

Could I be an alcoholic?

Yes.

That'll be $3,000.
 
2017-09-20 12:59:13 PM  
Hack Patooey

"Am I an alcoholic?" is the same as asking "Does this small craft advisory apply to me?" If you have to ask, the answer is "probably"

And if you are naked on a snowmobile in the middle of a shopping center while asking about the small craft advisory, you might have had too much to drink.
 
2017-09-20 12:59:27 PM  

WilderKWight: When you're all drunk, the teetotalers play pranks on you then take incriminating pictures.

Sobriety pays off.


That is why I only drink alone.

That and I am always alone. So alone.
 
2017-09-20 01:01:44 PM  
The average male-bodied person should stay below four drinks per night, and consume no more than 14 drinks per week. For female-bodied people, it's that generally drops to three drinks a night and seven per week.
If you're regularly going over both of those limits, you might have a problem.

Reading comprehension...it says MIGHT what it does not say is DO.

Big farking difference.
 
2017-09-20 01:02:33 PM  
Head shrinks trying to round up more victims...

/had three beers last night, hadn't had any for two to three weeks prior
//will probably get shiat-house drunk at a golf tournament on Friday
///third slashie for the Saturday hangover
 
2017-09-20 01:02:35 PM  
I think that by any written standards, if you drink more than one drink a week, you're an alcoholic.
In other words, there are no standards on which to go by.  But I can provide a few that are probably more helpful that anything you'll read on AOL.

1.  When someone asks you how much you drink, do you lie, or do you tell the truth?
If you lie, you are an alcoholic.  (everyone who drinks lies).

2.  If you find little airplane bottles hidden around the house that you don't remember hiding, you are an alcoholic.

3.  If you have to ask someone if they think you are an alcoholic, you most certainly ARE an alcoholic.

4.  Do you hide your drinking from people?  (afraid to drink in front of some people)  If so, you are an alcoholic.

5.  Do you have a drink the second you get out of bed?  Well, obviously, you are an alcoholic.

6.  Do you make plans knowing that you'll be too drunk to even attempt that by some point later in the day?  That's a serious alcohol problem.

You know how I could tell it was time to stop drinking?  When all 6 of these things were a constant problem.
 
2017-09-20 01:02:42 PM  

kdawg7736: AOL is still a thing?


It was part of Yahoo!!!!!  when verizon bought Yahoo!!!!! they decided to hand their entire email system over to aol.com (with a shedule that never made sense).  So yes, it is still a thing.  I'm guessing that accounting depriciation will keep a thing until the year 3000.
 
2017-09-20 01:03:15 PM  
The average male-bodied person should stay below four drinks per night, and consume no more than *14 drinks per week.

*Does not apply to Wisconsin residents.

img.fark.net
 
2017-09-20 01:03:20 PM  
Normal is based on a demographic  population. The trick is to pick the correct population. So are you an alcoholic, if we used the members of the Mormon Tabernacle choir as normal then yes. If we pick Fark mods, then no.
 
2017-09-20 01:03:27 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-09-20 01:03:30 PM  

Dimensio: That is why I only drink alone.


With nobody else?
 
2017-09-20 01:03:45 PM  
The threat of nuclear war coupled with alcohol being a relaxant....well, you figure it out.
 
2017-09-20 01:04:40 PM  
Before I finally quit drinking, I thought I drank a lot (I was right lol). Then I found the tv show Intervention and learned how much the real professionals drink. I was such a slacker.

On the weekend, i watched an episode where a woman was drinking 2 fifths of vodka and 2 quarts of mouthwash per day. I have seen episodes in the past where people drink 2 or more 1.75 liter bottles of vodka per day.

By comparison, having 4 drinks per day seems kind of silly.

Will be sober 8 years on Feb 10th.
 
2017-09-20 01:05:47 PM  
At night, I drink 375 ml of Tequila.  Have for the past several years.  Never crave it when I'm not drinking, can go without for over a week when traveling and I can always turn down a second drink in public.  It's only when I'm at home, going nowhere and only have sleep coming.  Only effect so far is just that I'm fatter than I would be if I didn't drink.

I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
 
2017-09-20 01:06:03 PM  
BEER.
It's the reason I get up every afternoon !
 
2017-09-20 01:07:16 PM  

Pocket Ninja: The most important thing here is that if you have to ask this question, and you then go to AOL News for an answer, you have bigger problems than potential alcoholism in your life.


I recommend yahoo answers for important questions like this.
 
2017-09-20 01:08:55 PM  
Guys, I know this is a stupid question but since this is a serious topic, I should ask.  Does tonic water contain alcohol?
 
2017-09-20 01:09:02 PM  
A handy chart:
img.fark.net

/The people on the far right do an amazing job stacking their glassware for being as plastered as they are
 
2017-09-20 01:09:34 PM  
I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk.

Alcoholics go to meetings.  Drunks go to parties.

Big difference there.
 
2017-09-20 01:09:53 PM  
Tumblr is worse.
 
2017-09-20 01:10:26 PM  
Whenever I quit drinking entirely (usually when I have to go on antibiotics) I try a variety of sleep aids which either a) don't work i.e. melatonin or b) work too well and I feel like absolute shiat in the morning.

Yeah, that's my excuse.
 
2017-09-20 01:11:50 PM  

colon_pow: BEER.
It's the reason I get up every afternoon !


That explains a lot
 
2017-09-20 01:12:12 PM  

Explodo: As long as you don't neglect any of your responsibilities due to drinking, you don't have a problem.


img.fark.net
 
2017-09-20 01:12:36 PM  
"The average male-bodied person should stay below four drinks per night, and consume no more than 14 drinks per week."

img.fark.net

How about no more than a 6 pack on weeknights and go fark yourself on weekends?  Does that work for you, you stupid judgmental cock?

Actually, a couple hits of delicious legal weed and it is all I can do to get through 3-4 beers or 1 mixed drink on any given night without falling asleep on the couch.  I know it is trading one vice for the other, but combined they are both way less destructive than what I used to drink on an average night.
 
2017-09-20 01:14:14 PM  
I only drink on Friday and Saturday nights. If I'm out with friends, I'll drink during the week.
 I made this rule for myself ten years ago when I realized I was drinking to get drunk every night. I have alcoholics on both sides of my family and I knew I could go down that road myself if I wasn't careful.
I still can put back a bottle or more of wine a night if I want to. So I probably fit into the problem drinker category. But as far as I'm concerned, as long as I play by my rules 90% of the time, I'm ok.
 
2017-09-20 01:14:32 PM  

Lance Robdon: Guys, I know this is a stupid question but since this is a serious topic, I should ask.  Does tonic water contain alcohol?


NO but the *bigger* question is, does your alcohol contain Tonic Water?
/with yummy limes.
 
2017-09-20 01:16:17 PM  

MrBonestripper: I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk.

Alcoholics go to meetings.  Drunks go to parties.

Big difference there.


A drunk is just an alcoholic without the guilt.
 
2017-09-20 01:16:30 PM  
"Is my drinking normal, or am I an alcoholic?"

img.fark.net
 
2017-09-20 01:19:31 PM  

Lance Robdon: Guys, I know this is a stupid question but since this is a serious topic, I should ask.  Does tonic water contain alcohol?


When you add the appropriate amount of gin, yes.
 
2017-09-20 01:20:58 PM  

durbnpoisn: 6.  Do you make plans knowing that you'll be too drunk to even attempt that by some point later in the day?  That's a serious alcohol problem.


Sweet, I only make plans thinking I'll still be sober enough to pull them off.

/not an alcoholic
//I'll drink to that
///damnit, forgot about the antibuse. nevermind
 
2017-09-20 01:21:11 PM  

Lance Robdon: Guys, I know this is a stupid question but since this is a serious topic, I should ask.  Does tonic water contain alcohol?


Mine contains gin, but that's because it's the only way I can drink tonic water.
 
2017-09-20 01:23:01 PM  
i would have a lengthier response to this article, but I don't want to be late for Happy Hour. BYE
 
2017-09-20 01:25:51 PM  

gilgigamesh: MrBonestripper: I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk.

Alcoholics go to meetings.  Drunks go to parties.

Big difference there.

A drunk is just an alcoholic without the guilt.


Love to stay and argue the point with you, but I gotta be down at the bar in w6 minutes....
 
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