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(CNN)   ♬ ♬ Just drop off the key, Lee. No need to destroy with a windy aria, Maria. Just say no way, Jose. There must be fifty ways to get these tropical storms out of the Atlantic Ocean. ♬ ♬   ( cnn.com) divider line
    More: Scary, hurricane, Tropical cyclone, National Hurricane Center, tropical storm, Atlantic Ocean, Wind, major hurricane, dangerous major hurricane  
•       •       •

2895 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Sep 2017 at 11:57 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-09-17 09:31:01 AM  
D2swants to drop a nuke somewhere.  Why not in the middle of a hurricane? Who knows, we might even find a new species of fish. (There aren't any dinosaurs in the Caribbean are there?)
 
2017-09-17 10:11:34 AM  
You lost the scansion towards the end, but well done subby.
 
2017-09-17 11:16:02 AM  
Well, I guess this is the new hurricane thread, so let's check in on José and Maria.
img.fark.netJosé is headed north, and is expected to turn east before making landfall in New England or Atlantic Canada. There is, however, a risk of strong winds along the eastern seaboard.
TS-force winds are most likely in eastern Massachusetts (Nantucket 60% probability), but New York (35% at JFK) and Boston (34%) could see high winds as well.

There's a slight chance of TS winds at Washington DC (10%), which should be a boon to headline writers on Fark.

Then there's Maria.

img.fark.netProbabilities of hurricane force winds have increased for Guadeloupe (53%), the USVI (St. Croix 43%) and Puerto Rico (San Juan 36%).

Maria remains on track to be at least a Cat 3 by the time she reaches PR sometime Wednesday, and stay above Cat 3 through Friday, by which time she'll be passing the Dominican Republic.

img.fark.net
Far too early to tell whether she'll try to live up to her sister's reputation in the States. Keep an eye on her though.
 
2017-09-17 12:00:34 PM  
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? Big bad wolf. Big bad wolf.
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

Tra la la la la!
 
2017-09-17 12:00:46 PM  

MikeyFuccon: Far too early to tell whether she'll try to live up to her sister's reputation in the States. Keep an eye on her though.


A lot of spaghetii's between Myrtle Beach and Cape Cod.  None below and several missing entirely.
 
2017-09-17 12:03:18 PM  
Shiat. I just got power back 2 days ago and Internet this morning.
 
2017-09-17 12:04:42 PM  
Jebus!  We just got power back - gonna need to replenish the alcohol cabinet.
 
2017-09-17 12:06:07 PM  
I wouldn't worry too much about Lee.  He's dying.  Sad!
 
2017-09-17 12:07:52 PM  
Jesus, Maria y Jose.
 
2017-09-17 12:12:02 PM  
Kinda looks like a heat map of a vulva.

img.fark.net
 
2017-09-17 12:14:01 PM  

Spanky McStupid: Jebus!  We just got power back - gonna need to replenish the alcohol cabinet.


At least in these days of gloom and doom, someone has their priorities straight.
 
2017-09-17 12:16:39 PM  
Was that headline hit by a hurricane? Cause it's a disaster
 
2017-09-17 12:19:33 PM  
It's too soon for a tropical storm to follow Irma's exact path.  It takes time for water to warm back up after a hurricane moves through, and Irma carried a lot of energy.  On the other hand, we normally get a couple of cool weeks after a hurricane passes, and it is already hot outside.
 
2017-09-17 12:20:36 PM  
Paul Simon picked out a burial spot and had it dug up so he could get in it and start rolling over
 
2017-09-17 12:21:27 PM  
// set snark on
This is really bizarre. It must be the first time ever in history that a series of tropical storm has become hurricanes in the late summer or early fall.
// set snark off

You know, this does happen every year. Sometimes we luck out, and there is little damage in the US. Other times, we're not so lucky. There's nothing new here except that weather satellites and computer models make it clear what's happening or likely to happen.
 
2017-09-17 12:26:35 PM  
gregscott:
You know, this does happen every year. Sometimes we luck out, and there is little damage in the US. Other times, we're not so lucky. There's nothing new here except that weather satellites and computer models make it clear what's happening or likely to happen.

Perhaps, but this year is the worst year ever recorded. If we do not act now by killing the oil industry and diverting all of that cash to Chinese solar panel manufacturers, it WILL be worse next year...I guarantee it!*

*This is not a guarantee.
 
2017-09-17 12:27:08 PM  

winedrinkingman: It's too soon for a tropical storm to follow Irma's exact path.  It takes time for water to warm back up after a hurricane moves through, and Irma carried a lot of energy.  On the other hand, we normally get a couple of cool weeks after a hurricane passes, and it is already hot outside.


These storms are big.  The eye of Maria is tracking well south of Irma but there will be many islands that get negative effects from both storms.
 
2017-09-17 12:28:32 PM  
(Speaking on stage): I'm pretty sure if Trump has his way we could build a wall over 'Murica and make the rest of the world pay for it! MAGA! ! ! ! ! !

(Someone from offstage): It's been done:
GEOSTORM Teaser Trailer (2017) Gerard Butler Disaster Movie
Youtube 5JWcbfhuz60
 
2017-09-17 12:31:08 PM  
When will the Christians admit that this is God punishing them for electing, and supporting, Donald Trump?
I mean really, lust/gluttony/greed/sloth/wrath/envy/pride & coveting/false idol/thievery/rape/adultery/false testimony... the man is a checklist of the forbidden. A handful of sodomites don't have sheit on that piece of work...

Fess up bible thumpers!
 
2017-09-17 12:31:39 PM  
In other news, last month The Orange One was at his Trump-iest yet...
img.fark.net
/because he's an ignorant fark
 
2017-09-17 12:32:17 PM  

omegaic: gregscott:
You know, this does happen every year. Sometimes we luck out, and there is little damage in the US. Other times, we're not so lucky. There's nothing new here except that weather satellites and computer models make it clear what's happening or likely to happen.

Perhaps, but this year is the worst year ever recorded. If we do not act now by killing the oil industry and diverting all of that cash to Chinese solar panel manufacturers, it WILL be worse next year...I guarantee it!*

*This is not a guarantee.


I buy German solar panels. Far superior...
 
2017-09-17 12:39:51 PM  
ya happy now treehuggers? You didnt want clean burning coal and now you got all these damn wind farms creating these winds. You couldn't control your crops. All this wind without the good carbon in the air to weigh it down it becomes stable and you get hurricanes. And now you're going to blame them on Monsanto gmo wind farms. Unbelievable.
 
2017-09-17 12:44:02 PM  

gregscott: // set snark on
This is really bizarre. It must be the first time ever in history that a series of tropical storm has become hurricanes in the late summer or early fall.
// set snark off

You know, this does happen every year. Sometimes we luck out, and there is little damage in the US. Other times, we're not so lucky. There's nothing new here except that weather satellites and computer models make it clear what's happening or likely to happen.


Yeah... nothing different at all... except all that Chinese hoax in our ocean:

www.epa.gov
So yeah, nothing has changed AT ALL which would affect hurricanes. Except for the heat energy the Chinese are hoaxing in to our oceans. But what could that do, right? Nothing! Heat energy, of course, being what fuels hurricanes, and makes them stronger, and also contributes to higher sea levels meaning higher tidal surges and giving a boost to storm surge as well. Increased heat energy Chinese hoax in our oceans which means the storms which do form are more destructive, so more of the storms which hit us would be more intense, and those tropical depressions which begin to form will have more energy to draw from and establish themselves, possibly counterbalancing the upper level shear predicted to make the formation of those storms more difficult.

But yeah, totally nothing at all. Just a bunch of Chinese hoax, and everything is the same as always. Nothing has changed. Yep. No siree. Totally the same. No changes here. Those darn Chinese and all their hoaxes! Just a whole bunch of hoaxy hoaxers, hoaxin' with all the hoaxes! Yesiree Bob. That must be what the evidence indicates. Ahhhhh YUP.  http://www.nature.com/nclimate/journal/v2/n7/full/nclimate1553.html
 
2017-09-17 12:47:26 PM  

gregscott: // set snark on
This is really bizarre. It must be the first time ever in history that a series of tropical storm has become hurricanes in the late summer or early fall.
// set snark off

You know, this does happen every year. Sometimes we luck out, and there is little damage in the US. Other times, we're not so lucky. There's nothing new here except that weather satellites and computer models make it clear what's happening or likely to happen.


Get that logic and common sense the fark outta here!
 
2017-09-17 12:53:25 PM  
If it wasn't for the hard scientific evidence that climate change was an elaborate hoax of antifa terrorists, this kind of thing might worry me.
 
2017-09-17 12:56:30 PM  
Isn't it better if they stay in the Atlantic?
 
2017-09-17 01:00:03 PM  

BitwiseShift: Kinda looks like a heat map of a vulva.

[img.fark.net image 425x349]


Or the sleeve of a wizard.
 
2017-09-17 01:04:47 PM  

gregscott: // set snark on
This is really bizarre. It must be the first time ever in history that a series of tropical storm has become hurricanes in the late summer or early fall.
// set snark off

You know, this does happen every year. Sometimes we luck out, and there is little damage in the US. Other times, we're not so lucky. There's nothing new here except that weather satellites and computer models make it clear what's happening or likely to happen.


Yep.  Three hurricanes active in the Atlantic at the same time is common.  Happens all the time.

It's how you know those Al Gore scaremongering videos are absolute rubbish-- they tried to scare us all with tall tales of twin hurricanes menacing the Eastern Shore... those knuckleheads got it all wrong.
 
2017-09-17 01:06:12 PM  

gregscott: // set snark on
This is really bizarre. It must be the first time ever in history that a series of tropical storm has become hurricanes in the late summer or early fall.
// set snark off

You know, this does happen every year. Sometimes we luck out, and there is little damage in the US. Other times, we're not so lucky. There's nothing new here except that weather satellites and computer models make it clear what's happening or likely to happen.


Well, I'm convinced. Let's not do anything.
 
2017-09-17 01:13:10 PM  

Kegovitch: ya happy now treehuggers? You didnt want clean burning coal and now you got all these damn wind farms creating these winds. You couldn't control your crops. All this wind without the good carbon in the air to weigh it down it becomes stable and you get hurricanes. And now you're going to blame them on Monsanto gmo wind farms. Unbelievable.


I funnied this but i am also cringing because this sounds like something that could show up on my Fb page.

Dammit, Poe...
 
2017-09-17 01:21:05 PM  
I'll repost from the earlier thread. . .Hurricane strength and numbers in the Atlantic appear to be cyclical.
2005 Hurricane season:  Emily was not retired because it quickly lost energy after just getting into cat 5.  The number after the 5 is the mph of the maximum winds.

June
TS Arlene
TS Bret

July
Hurricane Cindy (1)
Hurricane Dennis (4)
Hurricane Emily (5, 160)
TS Franklin
TS Gert

August
TS Harvey
Hurricane Irene (2)
TS Jose
Hurricane Katrina(5,175)
TS Lee

September
Hurricane Maria (3)
Hurricane Nate (1)
Hurricane Ophelia (1)
Hurricane Phillippe (1)
Hurricane Rita (5, 180)

October
Hurricane Stan (1)
TS unnamed
TS Tammy
Hurricane Vince (1)
Hurricane Wilma (5, 185)
TS Alpha
Hurricane Beta (3)

November
TS Gamma
TS Delta

December
Hurricane Epsilon (1)
TS Zeta
 
2017-09-17 01:22:26 PM  

BitwiseShift: Kinda looks like a heat map of a vulva.

[img.fark.net image 425x349]


Link for comparison, please.
 
2017-09-17 01:24:03 PM  
Living in Puerto Rico I am learning a lot about hurricanes.  Mostly that unless the eye wall hits your house, you'll be fine.  Irma passed by 50 miles north and we had nothing except a small tree that was poorly rooted fall over.

The water cistern and generator are for after the storm when the wind knocks down the power lines.  Of course the infrastructure here sucks so even if you just think about losing power it will shut off, so that is pretty normal.
 
2017-09-17 01:26:28 PM  

Lord Jubjub: Emily was not retired because it quickly lost energy after just getting into cat 5.


No, they only get retired because of the damage they do to land and people.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_retired_Atlantic_hurricane_name​s

Every one of them hit land and a couple were never even hurricanes.
 
2017-09-17 01:32:43 PM  
If we melt all of the polar ice, it will cool the oceans down and we won't get storms!

Just send me money for my genius.
 
2017-09-17 01:37:32 PM  

12349876: Lord Jubjub: Emily was not retired because it quickly lost energy after just getting into cat 5.

No, they only get retired because of the damage they do to land and people.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_retired_Atlantic_hurricane_names

Every one of them hit land and a couple were never even hurricanes.


That was kind of the point.  Most Cat 5 storms get their names retired because they eventually hit land.  Emily hit land but had lost so much energy that she did minimal damage.
 
2017-09-17 01:46:09 PM  

winedrinkingman: It's too soon for a tropical storm to follow Irma's exact path.  It takes time for water to warm back up after a hurricane moves through, and Irma carried a lot of energy.  On the other hand, we normally get a couple of cool weeks after a hurricane passes, and it is already hot outside.


And hurricanes are supposed to lose strength more quickly than the latest ones because they bring colder water up from deeper. Unfortunately, the water in the Caribbean is warmer deeper down than ever before.
 
2017-09-17 01:49:24 PM  

winedrinkingman: It's too soon for a tropical storm to follow Irma's exact path.  It takes time for water to warm back up after a hurricane moves through, and Irma carried a lot of energy.  On the other hand, we normally get a couple of cool weeks after a hurricane passes, and it is already hot outside.


It was 90 at my sister's house in Williston (between Ocala and Gainesville) the day after Irma passed through. The Keys stayed cool for a few days afterward. The land heats up much faster than water. That's one of the many crap things about Florida -- stay on the coast, you can cool off, but get storm surges. Live inland, save your home, but it's hell's sauna.
 
2017-09-17 01:52:55 PM  
So, this isn't good.
With things near riot stages in St Thomas and many of the leewards still entirely offline, even a cat 1 would cause an extreme amount of damage and chaos. There's not a lot safe shelter left and little time to evacuate.

/forecast suggesting cat 3.
/Bohica...
 
2017-09-17 01:56:48 PM  
Mexico, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia .. possibly South Carolina, North Carolina, and New England.

Anybody keeping a book on the odds that this season hits everybody from Mexico to Newfoundland at some point. If this is the new normal, things are going to get way hotter.

If the Texas Bullshiat reaction to Hurricane Sandy is any indication of things to come, Congress could feel the heat of partisan Douchebaggery to an unprecedented degree.

Think about that an unprecedented degree of douchebaggery. In Trump's Washington DC.

I know, I'm scared too. And I am in Canada.

Oh, well, back to lobbying the Canadian Government to get the bomb to defend ourselves from our dear ,dear frenemies. Acts of God can be left to God. Dealing with acts of human stupidity and malice are our job.
 
2017-09-17 02:02:03 PM  

dammit just give me a login: BitwiseShift: Kinda looks like a heat map of a vulva.

[img.fark.net image 425x349]

Link for comparison, please.


Fark is not your personal erotica page.
 
2017-09-17 02:05:39 PM  

omegaic: gregscott:
You know, this does happen every year. Sometimes we luck out, and there is little damage in the US. Other times, we're not so lucky. There's nothing new here except that weather satellites and computer models make it clear what's happening or likely to happen.

Perhaps, but this year is the worst year ever recorded. If we do not act now by killing the oil industry and diverting all of that cash to Chinese solar panel manufacturers, it WILL be worse next year...I guarantee it!*

*This is not a guarantee.


Who told you it was the worst year ever recorded? How about the hurricane that took out Galveston?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Atlantic_hurricane_records
 
2017-09-17 02:07:47 PM  
I am horrified by what happened in the Caribbean and the slowness and feebleness of the response. 49 million people, people!

We have the Trumpery Administration's official opinion on whether Canada will be toast if attacked by our common enemies. Is this the Trumpery response to 49 million people being in peril of the seas because of anthropogenic AMERICAN MADE CLIMATE CHANGE, OCEAN ACIDIFICATION AND SEA LEVEL RISE.

It is no Chinese hoax.

The Right Wing American response to Right Wing Americans destroying the world for fun and profit (among others):  do as we say, not as we did. The universal response of Pious Hypocritical Old Buggers to anything that youth does. PHOBbing the problems they created off on the victims again as always. Be blythe and go thy innocent way, the other fellow always has to pay.

I have to admit that Canada was no saint and did more than its share of the damage. 2% of the world's greenhouse gas emissions sounds trivial and the former Conservative Government did its best to trivialize it further but it was only one two hundreth (1/200)  who did (1/50) of the damage. So we are no saints and can not sit on America's head and blithely pretend we are more innocent than all those Red Caps with MAGA sewn on them by slave wage workers in the Philippines or China.

Even Europe, where more is being done than almost anywhere, is full of cant and hypocrisy. Not enough. They are still doing nowhere nearly enough despite all their talk. Typical Europeans. All talk, no action.

Is the time come to bash in each other's skulls and eat the creamy goo inside? Why, yes, Kent. I think so. They aren't serving any other useful purpose.
 
2017-09-17 02:08:21 PM  

mongbiohazard: gregscott: // set snark on
This is really bizarre. It must be the first time ever in history that a series of tropical storm has become hurricanes in the late summer or early fall.
// set snark off

You know, this does happen every year. Sometimes we luck out, and there is little damage in the US. Other times, we're not so lucky. There's nothing new here except that weather satellites and computer models make it clear what's happening or likely to happen.

Yeah... nothing different at all... except all that Chinese hoax in our ocean:

[www.epa.gov image 850x531]
So yeah, nothing has changed AT ALL which would affect hurricanes. Except for the heat energy the Chinese are hoaxing in to our oceans. But what could that do, right? Nothing! Heat energy, of course, being what fuels hurricanes, and makes them stronger, and also contributes to higher sea levels meaning higher tidal surges and giving a boost to storm surge as well. Increased heat energy Chinese hoax in our oceans which means the storms which do form are more destructive, so more of the storms which hit us would be more intense, and those tropical depressions which begin to form will have more energy to draw from and establish themselves, possibly counterbalancing the upper level shear predicted to make the formation of those storms more difficult.

But yeah, totally nothing at all. Just a bunch of Chinese hoax, and everything is the same as always. Nothing has changed. Yep. No siree. Totally the same. No changes here. Those darn Chinese and all their hoaxes! Just a whole bunch of hoaxy hoaxers, hoaxin' with all the hoaxes! Yesiree Bob. That must be what the evidence indicates. Ahhhhh YUP.  http://www.nature.com/nclimate/journal/v2/n7/full/nclimate1553.html


Get that data shiat outta here.  We make gut based decisions in 2017.
 
2017-09-17 02:13:11 PM  

BitwiseShift: Kinda looks like a heat map of a vulva.

[img.fark.net image 425x349]


I'd hit it.
 
2017-09-17 02:18:54 PM  

dammit just give me a login: BitwiseShift: Kinda looks like a heat map of a vulva.

[img.fark.net image 425x349]

Link for comparison, please.


img.fark.net
 
2017-09-17 02:21:50 PM  

NutWrench: Shiat. I just got power back 2 days ago and Internet this morning.


im still waiting. just got internet back today. don't think m gong to be able to sleep when the power comes back on. Generator hum will be missing :/
 
2017-09-17 02:26:46 PM  

Kegovitch: ya happy now treehuggers? You didnt want clean burning coal and now you got all these damn wind farms creating these winds. You couldn't control your crops. All this wind without the good carbon in the air to weigh it down it becomes stable and you get hurricanes. And now you're going to blame them on Monsanto gmo wind farms. Unbelievable.


img.fark.net
 
2017-09-17 02:28:42 PM  

StatelyGreekAutomaton: BitwiseShift: Kinda looks like a heat map of a vulva.

[img.fark.net image 425x349]

I'd hit it.


I'd rock it...like a hurricane!
 
2017-09-17 02:32:26 PM  

BitwiseShift: Kinda looks like a heat map of a vulva.

[img.fark.net image 425x349]


I'm saddened that a GIS and BIS didn't turn up any such pictures.
 
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