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(USA Today)   Wait. Scarlett Johansson is single again? Well, why didn't anyone tell me. Quick, to the "In My Dreams" Copter   ( usatoday.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Johansson, English-language films, New York, Scarlett Johansson, York Daily News, New York Post, Divorce, New York City  
•       •       •

3357 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 14 Sep 2017 at 11:50 AM (18 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2017-09-14 11:11:55 AM  
FTFA: Scarlett Johansson and her French husband, Romain Dauriac, are now divorced, according to a joint statement they issued Wednesday.

Wednesday?!

img.fark.netView Full Size


"This news is 24 bloody hours old! Sitting at my desk like an addled schoolboy. The entire fleet is after her."
 
2017-09-14 11:24:03 AM  

HawgWild: FTFA: Scarlett Johansson and her French husband, Romain Dauriac, are now divorced, according to a joint statement they issued Wednesday.

Wednesday?!

[img.fark.net image 320x240]

"This news is 24 bloody hours old! Sitting at my desk like an addled schoolboy. The entire fleet is after her."


Don't waste your time. Im taking her to Chuckee Cheese in a couple hours.
 
2017-09-14 11:26:28 AM  

WhiskeyBender: HawgWild: FTFA: Scarlett Johansson and her French husband, Romain Dauriac, are now divorced, according to a joint statement they issued Wednesday.

Wednesday?!

[img.fark.net image 320x240]

"This news is 24 bloody hours old! Sitting at my desk like an addled schoolboy. The entire fleet is after her."

Don't waste your time. Im taking her to Chuckee Cheese in a couple hours.


Ha! You won't be able to woo her with their beautiful music if they no longer have a band!

Me, I'm taking her to Dave & Buster's. I saved up so we could do the special where you get two entrees and $10 worth of tokens! She'll be like so much putty in my greasy, Dave & Buster's food hands!

Ha ha!
 
2017-09-14 11:29:27 AM  

HawgWild: WhiskeyBender: HawgWild: FTFA: Scarlett Johansson and her French husband, Romain Dauriac, are now divorced, according to a joint statement they issued Wednesday.

Wednesday?!

[img.fark.net image 320x240]

"This news is 24 bloody hours old! Sitting at my desk like an addled schoolboy. The entire fleet is after her."

Don't waste your time. Im taking her to Chuckee Cheese in a couple hours.

Ha! You won't be able to woo her with their beautiful music if they no longer have a band!

Me, I'm taking her to Dave & Buster's. I saved up so we could do the special where you get two entrees and $10 worth of tokens! She'll be like so much putty in my greasy, Dave & Buster's food hands!

Ha ha!


You're both underestimating the power of playing hard to get. I plan on ignoring her until she comes begging.
 
2017-09-14 11:29:58 AM  

HawgWild: WhiskeyBender: HawgWild: FTFA: Scarlett Johansson and her French husband, Romain Dauriac, are now divorced, according to a joint statement they issued Wednesday.

Wednesday?!

[img.fark.net image 320x240]

"This news is 24 bloody hours old! Sitting at my desk like an addled schoolboy. The entire fleet is after her."

Don't waste your time. Im taking her to Chuckee Cheese in a couple hours.

Ha! You won't be able to woo her with their beautiful music if they no longer have a band!

Me, I'm taking her to Dave & Buster's. I saved up so we could do the special where you get two entrees and $10 worth of tokens! She'll be like so much putty in my greasy, Dave & Buster's food hands!

Ha ha!


Dammmmiiitttt!!! You play dirty sir, very dirty. I hope you love her as much as I love her.

/sniff sniff
 
2017-09-14 11:30:08 AM  
She is a lovely woman and a talented actress. But that voice. Her voice is just horrible.
 
2017-09-14 11:31:35 AM  

August11: She is a lovely woman and a talented actress. But that voice. Her voice is just horrible.


Did ... did you see Her? Pffffttttt ...
 
2017-09-14 11:31:59 AM  

cranked: HawgWild: WhiskeyBender: HawgWild: FTFA: Scarlett Johansson and her French husband, Romain Dauriac, are now divorced, according to a joint statement they issued Wednesday.

Wednesday?!

[img.fark.net image 320x240]

"This news is 24 bloody hours old! Sitting at my desk like an addled schoolboy. The entire fleet is after her."

Don't waste your time. Im taking her to Chuckee Cheese in a couple hours.

Ha! You won't be able to woo her with their beautiful music if they no longer have a band!

Me, I'm taking her to Dave & Buster's. I saved up so we could do the special where you get two entrees and $10 worth of tokens! She'll be like so much putty in my greasy, Dave & Buster's food hands!

Ha ha!

You're both underestimating the power of playing hard to get. I plan on ignoring her until she comes begging.


Sonuvabiatch ...
 
2017-09-14 11:34:32 AM  
I thought she was dating Colin Jost from SNL for the last few months.  Her divorce might be finalized but that doesn't mean she's single.
 
2017-09-14 11:38:04 AM  

August11: She is a lovely woman and a talented actress. But that voice. Her voice is just horrible.


She has a voice for talking dirty to me.  Before my wife beats me to death of course.


But this thread is worthless without pics.
 
2017-09-14 11:40:31 AM  

Ambivalence: I thought she was dating Colin Jost from SNL for the last few months.  Her divorce might be finalized but that doesn't mean she's single.


You're just saying that to throw us off the trail. YOU WANT HER FOR YOURSELF!

I'm onto you ...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 11:43:00 AM  
Dokken - "In My Dreams" (Official Music Video)
Youtube VvyBiHGr2b8
 
2017-09-14 11:46:28 AM  

kdawg7736: [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/VvyBiHGr2b8 - 480x270]


Nothing sexier than playing a power ballad in the rain ...
 
2017-09-14 11:52:24 AM  
she's past her "Use by" date. I hope she saved her Avengers money
 
2017-09-14 11:54:11 AM  

kdawg7736: [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/VvyBiHGr2b8 - 480x270]


Who wore it better?

The Party - In My Dreams
Youtube Hjw8e_AKVcs
 
2017-09-14 11:55:05 AM  

Crewmannumber6: she's past her "Use by" date. I hope she saved her Avengers money


Not to worry, age will take the corners off those knees.
 
2017-09-14 11:58:27 AM  

August11: She is a lovely woman and a talented actress. But that voice. Her voice is just horrible.


Is this the new "sharp knees?"
 
2017-09-14 11:59:27 AM  

August11: She is a lovely woman and a talented actress. But that voice. Her voice is just horrible.


It works for me. Love the husky voiced woman thing. Very sexy.
 
2017-09-14 12:00:32 PM  
May I tell my obligatory CSB about the time Scarlett Johansson checked me out?

No? Okay, I will anyway.

I was living in LA and worked as a background extra on the movie Don Jon, and I was positioned at the end of a hallway in the gym. SJ was right there with me about four feet away, and when she first saw me, she gave me a head to toe look and a smile. I nodded and smiled back.

Now, she might have been thinking "What a super-dork this dude is", but I like to imagine that she thought "Mmm, that's one fine hunk of man meat. I'd never have a chance with a guy that hot!" because you can't prove she didn't think that, so there will always be the possibility that she did think that.

And thus endeth the story until the next ScarJo thread. Thank you for your attention.
 
2017-09-14 12:02:18 PM  

HawgWild: cranked: HawgWild: WhiskeyBender: HawgWild: FTFA: Scarlett Johansson and her French husband, Romain Dauriac, are now divorced, according to a joint statement they issued Wednesday.

Wednesday?!

[img.fark.net image 320x240]

"This news is 24 bloody hours old! Sitting at my desk like an addled schoolboy. The entire fleet is after her."

Don't waste your time. Im taking her to Chuckee Cheese in a couple hours.

Ha! You won't be able to woo her with their beautiful music if they no longer have a band!

Me, I'm taking her to Dave & Buster's. I saved up so we could do the special where you get two entrees and $10 worth of tokens! She'll be like so much putty in my greasy, Dave & Buster's food hands!

Ha ha!

You're both underestimating the power of playing hard to get. I plan on ignoring her until she comes begging.

Sonuvabiatch ...


All three of you are delusional. ScarJo will be mine once I take her to Red Lobster after a convention. No-one can resist the lure of those Cheddar Biscuits!
 
2017-09-14 12:06:02 PM  

mongbiohazard: August11: She is a lovely woman and a talented actress. But that voice. Her voice is just horrible.

It works for me. Love the husky voiced woman thing. Very sexy.


Here comes the science
http://thepsychreport.com/culture/could-it-be-her-voice-why-scarlett-​j​ohanssons-voice-makes-samantha-seem-human/
 
2017-09-14 12:06:07 PM  

RoyFokker'sGhost: HawgWild: cranked: HawgWild: WhiskeyBender: HawgWild: FTFA: Scarlett Johansson and her French husband, Romain Dauriac, are now divorced, according to a joint statement they issued Wednesday.

Wednesday?!

[img.fark.net image 320x240]

"This news is 24 bloody hours old! Sitting at my desk like an addled schoolboy. The entire fleet is after her."

Don't waste your time. Im taking her to Chuckee Cheese in a couple hours.

Ha! You won't be able to woo her with their beautiful music if they no longer have a band!

Me, I'm taking her to Dave & Buster's. I saved up so we could do the special where you get two entrees and $10 worth of tokens! She'll be like so much putty in my greasy, Dave & Buster's food hands!

Ha ha!

You're both underestimating the power of playing hard to get. I plan on ignoring her until she comes begging.

Sonuvabiatch ...

All three of you are delusional. ScarJo will be mine once I take her to Red Lobster after a convention. No-one can resist the lure of those Cheddar Biscuits!


Oh! She is jewish though, she can't eat at Red Lobster!

/........
//please don't rationalize that
 
2017-09-14 12:06:37 PM  
Failed marriages with Ryan Reynolds and a French multimillionaire, huh?

Scarlett, your problem is obviously that you're setting your sights too high. Why not aim for the bottom and give me a call? I'm great with kids, too.
 
2017-09-14 12:07:07 PM  
Somehow this douche has been making out with her all over NYC.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 12:11:22 PM  

Crewmannumber6: she's past her "Use by" date. I hope she saved her Avengers money


Are you kidding me?  Scarlett is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and the place in between your fingers gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Scarlett is like that.
 
2017-09-14 12:14:26 PM  

Wheyfaring Stranger: Crewmannumber6: she's past her "Use by" date. I hope she saved her Avengers money

Are you kidding me?  Scarlett is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and the place in between your fingers gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Scarlett is like that.


Not sure if you wanna bang Scarlett, or this piece of fruit you speak of
 
2017-09-14 12:15:21 PM  

Wheyfaring Stranger: Crewmannumber6: she's past her "Use by" date. I hope she saved her Avengers money

Are you kidding me?  Scarlett is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and the place in between your fingers gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Scarlett is like that.


Word
 
2017-09-14 12:15:43 PM  
I hear she likes competitive sports games, especially NHL Playoff hockey.
 
2017-09-14 12:17:21 PM  
What is with her eyes. Stop trying to make blue eyes a thing, Nazis.
 
2017-09-14 12:17:40 PM  

thatguyoverthere70: May I tell my obligatory CSB about the time Scarlett Johansson checked me out?

No? Okay, I will anyway.

I was living in LA and worked as a background extra on the movie Don Jon, and I was positioned at the end of a hallway in the gym. SJ was right there with me about four feet away, and when she first saw me, she gave me a head to toe look and a smile. I nodded and smiled back.

Now, she might have been thinking "What a super-dork this dude is", but I like to imagine that she thought "Mmm, that's one fine hunk of man meat. I'd never have a chance with a guy that hot!" because you can't prove she didn't think that, so there will always be the possibility that she did think that.

And thus endeth the story until the next ScarJo thread. Thank you for your attention.


Well, did you cum or what?
 
2017-09-14 12:17:43 PM  

Wheyfaring Stranger: Crewmannumber6: she's past her "Use by" date. I hope she saved her Avengers money

Are you kidding me?  Scarlett is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and the place in between your fingers gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Scarlett is like that.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 12:18:43 PM  

Wheyfaring Stranger: Crewmannumber6: she's past her "Use by" date. I hope she saved her Avengers money

Are you kidding me?  Scarlett is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and the place in between your fingers gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Scarlett is like that.


I heard she BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "Avengers" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.
 
2017-09-14 12:19:25 PM  
I used to have a big ol' boner for Scarlett, but it lasted for more than 4 hours and I had to seek medical attention.
 
2017-09-14 12:20:24 PM  

GRCooper: I heard she BEEFS.

She'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of "Avengers" she used to shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 12:20:46 PM  
She's hot, and I really dig her as a red head in that tight outfit she wears in The Avengers and I'll be in my bunk.
 
2017-09-14 12:24:32 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 12:28:06 PM  

Wheyfaring Stranger: Crewmannumber6: she's past her "Use by" date. I hope she saved her Avengers money

Are you kidding me?  Scarlett is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and the place in between your fingers gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Scarlett is like that.


What film is that from?  My Google-fu powers have failed me, and it's driving me crazy.
 
2017-09-14 12:34:08 PM  
I lived with her for a few months when I was in LA. cool girl. our lives were on different paths though
 
2017-09-14 12:35:49 PM  

jmr61: Somehow this douche has been making out with her all over NYC.

[img.fark.net image 850x566]


Didn't that Yankee player give her the herp?
 
2017-09-14 12:40:29 PM  

natural316: Wheyfaring Stranger: Crewmannumber6: she's past her "Use by" date. I hope she saved her Avengers money

Are you kidding me?  Scarlett is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and the place in between your fingers gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Scarlett is like that.

Not sure if you wanna bang Scarlett, or this piece of fruit you speak of


Either way, he's getting sticky.
 
2017-09-14 12:42:27 PM  

Mad Scientist: [img.fark.net image 850x595]


Is that the real Scarlett or that eerily realistic sex toy robot thing that some dude made?
 
2017-09-14 12:43:23 PM  

CthulhuCalling: Mad Scientist: [img.fark.net image 850x595]

Is that the real Scarlett or that eerily realistic sex toy robot thing that some dude made?


Now you have my attention!
 
2017-09-14 12:44:12 PM  

August11: She is a lovely woman and a talented actress. But that voice. Her voice is just horrible.


Imagine having to spend the night with her and Kay Adams listen to both of them talk. Torture.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 12:47:17 PM  

HawgWild: FTFA: Scarlett Johansson and her French husband, Romain Dauriac, are now divorced, according to a joint statement they issued Wednesday.

Wednesday?!

[img.fark.net image 320x240]

"This news is 24 bloody hours old! Sitting at my desk like an addled schoolboy. The entire fleet is after her."


Masterful.
 
2017-09-14 12:49:39 PM  

Arab Lover: August11: She is a lovely woman and a talented actress. But that voice. Her voice is just horrible.

Imagine having to spend the night with her and Kay Adams listen to both of them talk. Torture.

[img.fark.net image 540x524]


If I'm ever captured and interrogated, I hope you're the one in charge.
 
2017-09-14 12:50:54 PM  
Too many studmen tipping their fedoras in this thread.
 
2017-09-14 12:51:29 PM  
I actually really liked her small part in Hail Caesar!

Hail, Caesar! - No One's the Wiser Scene (5/10) | Movieclips
Youtube UbwxGgR-EAM
 
2017-09-14 12:51:56 PM  

Arab Lover: August11: She is a lovely woman and a talented actress. But that voice. Her voice is just horrible.

Imagine having to spend the night with her and Kay Adams listen to both of them talk. Torture.

[img.fark.net image 540x524]


One man's hell is another man's heaven ...
 
2017-09-14 12:52:55 PM  
media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2017-09-14 12:56:16 PM  

Shabash: Wheyfaring Stranger: Crewmannumber6: she's past her "Use by" date. I hope she saved her Avengers money

Are you kidding me?  Scarlett is a peach. Like when you eat a peach that is so ripe you can push your thumb through the skin. The juice runs down your chin and drips onto your chest, and the place in between your fingers gets so sticky you have trouble separating them. The next day, even after you wash your hands, you can still smell the sweet juice on your skin and, if no one is watching, you lick your fingers and the memory of that sweet fruit on your tongue floods back. Scarlett is like that.

What film is that from?  My Google-fu powers have failed me, and it's driving me crazy.


Best I can tell, it's some copypasta that started showing up by 2010 (Iron Man 2 threads). I've seen it adapted to a few other celebs, but it seems to always show up in Scarlett threads.
 
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