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(KTVO Kirksville)   "Another bear sighting in SE Iowa: Can Goldilocks be far behind?", asks TV station not familiar with the chronological order of the story   ( ktvo.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Police, Mahaska County, Iowa, Poweshiek County Sheriff, Keokuk County, Iowa, Wapello County naturalist, Iowa, Coroner, Poweshiek County, Iowa  
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1698 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Sep 2017 at 9:20 AM (18 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2017-09-14 08:22:09 AM  
13 votes:
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2017-09-14 09:47:57 AM  
11 votes:

Lorenzo Von Matterhorn: The article says "call law enforcement".  So it's illegal to be a bear in Iowa?


Only for black bears.
2017-09-14 10:03:03 AM  
6 votes:

Eli WhiskeyDik: Lorenzo Von Matterhorn: The article says "call law enforcement".  So it's illegal to be a bear in Iowa?

Only for black bears.


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2017-09-14 09:33:31 AM  
6 votes:
static-12.sinclairstoryline.comView Full Size
I had no idea that Iowa's state motto was "Do Not Resuscitate".
2017-09-14 09:36:33 AM  
4 votes:

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [static-12.sinclairstoryline.com image 850x478]I had no idea that Iowa's state motto was "Do Not Resuscitate".


Have you ever resided in Iowa?
2017-09-14 09:21:41 AM  
4 votes:
Betsy DeVos warned us about this.
jbc [TotalFark]
2017-09-14 09:56:56 AM  
3 votes:

Mikey1969: Um, subby... The bears were there first, it was there house.


Um, Mikey... Goldilocks thinks your English teacher was too soft.
2017-09-14 10:37:22 AM  
2 votes:
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2017-09-14 10:24:06 AM  
2 votes:

Voiceofreason01: There are people in SE Iowa?


Sort of.
2017-09-14 10:02:53 AM  
2 votes:
There are people in SE Iowa?
jbc [TotalFark]
2017-09-14 09:52:42 AM  
2 votes:

tarheel07: I'm rusty on my children's stories, but doesn't she get pooped out at the end?


Do you not know where poop exits the body?
2017-09-14 09:42:18 AM  
2 votes:
The article says "call law enforcement".  So it's illegal to be a bear in Iowa?
2017-09-14 09:36:16 AM  
2 votes:
Goldilocks isn't far behind. It takes time to digest everything.
2017-09-14 09:30:03 AM  
2 votes:
Alternate story version: Goldilocks is held hostage and forced into servitude by the bears. She is made to follow them as they wander the woods and they feed her scraps of bugs and offal. Then the bears go home and eat porridge while she cleans.

Later she stumbles across a gingerbread house in the woods in which her fairy godmother lives and Goldilocks is granted some wishes, which she uses to go to a fancy ball while wearing glass slippers. At the stroke of midnight she runs down the stairs, trips, and shatters the glass - slicing open her femoral artery. The bears eat her because she tastes just right.
2017-09-14 01:18:53 PM  
1 vote:

Lorenzo Von Matterhorn: The article says "call law enforcement".  So it's illegal to be a bear in Iowa?


Book 'em, Lou. One count of being a bear and one count of being an accessory to being a bear.
2017-09-14 10:21:35 AM  
1 vote:
Yea, Subby. Everyone knows that Goldilocks came first. It's always a good idea to make sure she comes first.
2017-09-14 09:55:07 AM  
1 vote:
A large bear-like creature, possibly a bear, has wandered down from Mount Springfield in search of food, or perhaps employment,
2017-09-14 09:33:33 AM  
1 vote:

tarheel07: I'm rusty on my children's stories, but doesn't she get pooped out at the end?


Actually it's "on", and that's just in the German version.
2017-09-14 08:43:53 AM  
1 vote:

RJReves: [img.fark.net image 425x239][img.fark.net image 425x239]


My brain read the lower gif as "we're in bat country" when I quickly opened this thread.
 
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