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(KFVS 12)   "Go further without consent"   ( kfvs12.com) divider line
    More: Fail, trendy ad campaign, Birth control, safe sex initiative, Planned Parenthood League, New York Post, Consent Condoms, problematic prophylactic, condom company  
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9222 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Sep 2017 at 8:20 AM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2017-09-14 08:37:29 AM  
17 votes:
Wife tells me no all the time. Apparently, cuddling up to her and pressing my erection into her back isn't sexy. Guess I'll just fark a donut.
2017-09-14 09:26:50 AM  
14 votes:
i.huffpost.comView Full Size
2017-09-14 08:22:54 AM  
12 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: And they sold the fark out of them, too.

We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.


img.fark.netView Full Size
This is why I have signed contracts...
2017-09-14 08:43:55 AM  
11 votes:
Always get permission before you fark a
img.fark.netView Full Size

the ass
2017-09-14 08:29:25 AM  
11 votes:
It's better than the previous version.
(Donut) GO FART-
HER WITHOUT
CONSENT
2017-09-14 09:18:20 AM  
10 votes:
Before I have sex, I sit down with a woman and teach her how to say 'Yes' and 'No' in half a dozen different languages. Then I ask her if she's okay with us proceeding, and ask for her consent in a specific language.

If she can't correctly say 'Yes' in that particular language during this quiz, we don't move forward.

Or at least that's how I imagine it would go. Also, I'm not certain what happens after. Ladies, call me.
2017-09-14 08:37:04 AM  
9 votes:
mmmmmmmmm.....lack of consent

i.imgur.comView Full Size


//and gummi bears
2017-09-14 08:32:40 AM  
7 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: And they sold the fark out of them, too.

We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.


"Hans, are we the baddies?"
2017-09-14 09:57:40 AM  
6 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: As a white woman, my experience is vastly different from other ethnic groups.


Who are you to speak about the experiences of other ethnic groups? Check your privilege.
2017-09-14 09:15:24 AM  
6 votes:
look, can I fark the donut or not? I've got my pants off and this cruller is cooling pretty rapidly
2017-09-14 07:56:53 AM  
6 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2017-09-14 01:05:37 PM  
5 votes:

dbrunker: Sometimes the message doesn't get across...

[img.fark.net image 640x360]
[img.fark.net image 640x360]


richmondbizsense.comView Full Size

i.pinimg.comView Full Size


Virginia has since revoked those plates because our DMV is a huge f*cking bummer
2017-09-14 10:38:22 AM  
5 votes:

cwheelie: I'd have a donut shop just to come up with the wacky names
Annie Sprinkles
Glazed & Confused
Round Midnight (dark chocolate)
Eh, Claire (Canadian Maple )
etc


Donut Disturb
I can't believe I ate the hole thing
2017-09-14 08:32:14 AM  
5 votes:
So I have to ask the donut for consent before I stick my dick in it?
2017-09-14 12:34:15 PM  
4 votes:
Sometimes the message doesn't get across...

img.fark.netView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size
2017-09-14 09:23:40 AM  
4 votes:

Fano: Shadow Blasko: Snarfangel: Ker_Thwap: There's a condom ad for women now.  It's kind of stupid, and slays a giant straw man. "Don't let anyone tell you that women can't buy condoms!"  I thought it was kind of insulting.  Gendered condoms?  Really?


"Women can't buy condoms" said no sane person ever.

Wait.. Were they female condoms... Because that is a thing.

Man I'd love to live in one of those.


img.fark.netView Full Size
2017-09-14 04:31:24 PM  
3 votes:
I'm married...

Consent is completely different after 20 years. Is the child asleep enough to stay in her own farking room, does anyone have to work in the morning, everyone seen the back-cracker and in good physical working order?  We haven't even gotten to is anyone in the mood yet...

I remember when I used to bite her neck until she melted in my arms, pull her panties down and lift her skirt and hammer her up against he wall of her apartment before she had to go sit through class as a well farked 20 year old hot mess.

/Get off my lawn.
2017-09-14 01:43:50 PM  
3 votes:

Extra Virgin Geek Olive Oil: Ok, so, you are also putting emphasis on vastly as the deciding factor in the knowledge claim and that you are inferring that she is judging the experiences of others as well.

Interesting.

Ok, mind if I ask you a few questions to pick your brain?


Three things concern me about "As a white woman, my experience is vastly different from other ethnic groups. "

First of all, "as a white woman". That can, I grant you, be read in two ways. Either she is claiming that as a white woman she has special insight into these matters or she means "my experience as a white woman". But in the latter case she is effectively claiming to speak for all white women. Can she do that? How has she acquired the relevant knowledge? How does she know what parts of her experience are down to being white, what pats are down to being a woman and what are down to completely different factors - her education, job, sexuality, social background and so on.

Second, "is vastly different". Again, how does she know? By quantifying the extent to which her singular experience is different from those of everybody in other ethnic groupings, she is claiming knowledge of experiences across these groupings and

Third, "from other ethnic groups" indicates that those experiences can be grouped together by ethnicity, regardless of other social factors.

Maybe it as just a badly thought out version of "I recognise that my experience will have been shaped by being a white women in a society which is both racist and sexist, and that other people from other groups, and indeed my own, will have a wide range of experiences" but she chose the words she did and it's not wholly unreasonable to examine them a little further. Not least because of that mention of "my black and Latino friends" which sounds suspiciously like "some of my best friends are Jewish".
2017-09-14 11:13:00 AM  
3 votes:
I saw it immediately.

thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
2017-09-14 10:15:36 AM  
3 votes:
I'd have a donut shop just to come up with the wacky names
Annie Sprinkles
Glazed & Confused
Round Midnight (dark chocolate)
Eh, Claire (Canadian Maple )
etc
2017-09-14 02:08:08 PM  
2 votes:
This inspired me to violate a cruller.

At least the condom kept the crumbs out of my meatus.  So I'm going to call the whole experience, not thrilling but acceptable.  It was a little dry.

Note to self:  Maybe incorporate coffee dunking into my donut and pastry foreplay.  Experiment with urethra sprinkles.
2017-09-14 01:13:02 PM  
2 votes:

Extra Virgin Geek Olive Oil: "Unless she is physically putting your dick in one of her holes, then it means no".


She can't get to it with the handcuffs on though!

/Note: handcuffs were requested by the restrained party
2017-09-14 12:04:01 PM  
2 votes:

Lady J: But if someone is not responding at all, just stting there, or lying there, it probably is worth saying 'are you sure you want to do this?


That is a COMPLETE waste of time down at the morgue, let me tell you...
2017-09-14 10:14:02 AM  
2 votes:

orbister: "It took me a minute to actually get that the donut was supposed to be part of the sentence, but even after the pun clicked, I just have so many more questions about the brainstorming process behind this," wrote one commenter.

In what way is "O Go further without consent" better than "Go further without consent"?


matthew903.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2017-09-14 09:16:24 AM  
2 votes:

Shadow Blasko: Snarfangel: Ker_Thwap: There's a condom ad for women now.  It's kind of stupid, and slays a giant straw man. "Don't let anyone tell you that women can't buy condoms!"  I thought it was kind of insulting.  Gendered condoms?  Really?


"Women can't buy condoms" said no sane person ever.

Wait.. Were they female condoms... Because that is a thing.


Man I'd love to live in one of those.
2017-09-14 08:41:39 AM  
2 votes:

bainsguy: So I have to ask the donut for consent before I stick my dick in it?


Glazed means Glazed
2017-09-15 06:05:08 AM  
1 vote:

drayno76: I'm married...

Consent is completely different after 20 years. Is the child asleep enough to stay in her own farking room, does anyone have to work in the morning, everyone seen the back-cracker and in good physical working order?  We haven't even gotten to is anyone in the mood yet...

I remember when I used to bite her neck until she melted in my arms, pull her panties down and lift her skirt and hammer her up against he wall of her apartment before she had to go sit through class as a well farked 20 year old hot mess.

/Get off my lawn.


Um, that was... wow. You're like 90% of the way to a story at Archive of our Own or Literotica with that. Do it!
2017-09-14 09:01:03 PM  
1 vote:

if_i_really_have_to: SanityIsAFullTimeJob: Benevolent Misanthrope: And they sold the fark out of them, too.

We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.

If by "guys," you mean "very few guys," you may be right. Dumb stereotyping is dumb.

54% of college athletes and 38% of non-athletes admit to raping their partner
 

Of the sexually coercive behaviors listed on the survey, including "I used threats to make my partner have oral or anal sex," almost all met the legal definition of rape.

When campus rapists don't think they're rapists
  Nearly one-third of college men admit they might rape a woman if they could get away with it, a new study on campus sexual assault claims. Of those men, however, far fewer will admit this if the word rape is actually used during the course of questioning.

I can only figure that men get so angry about this subject because they're looking back at some of the things they did when they were "young and dumb" and realising they might have, just a little bit, raped someone, or did nothing while one of their friends raped someone.  That's not the way you want to think about yourself, or your buddies, is it?

/#VeryFewMen


Those studies use a lot of ambiguous language and questionable defininitions to get from here to there.

"Verbal coercion" and "threats" can be construed very loosely. You can verbally threaten someone with physical violence to get them to have sex with you, and you can also "threaten" to break up with them if they don't do anal. One of those is rape. The other is not. I'm extremely dubious about the percentages listed accurately reflecting the intentions of men. I will absolutely concede that college athletes are more likely to commit rapes though.
2017-09-14 05:29:38 PM  
1 vote:

TWX: Z-clipped: IDisposable: Smoking GNU: As a male, i find ''No means no'' to be pretty self-explanatory.

It's not just "no means no", it's also "not saying anything means no".

As stated literally, this is way overboard.  While explicitly asking for verbal consent is something that should always be on the table when there's a large degree of uncertainty about what one of you wants, reading body language or expecting some active participation from your partner (i.e. cues that something isn't wanted) is not automatically "sex without consent", and the idea that every advance must be preceded by a verbal request lest the advance be considered assault is absolutely ludicrous.

It's silly to try to codify a human interaction as messy as sex that strictly, and the kind of people blind enough to non-verbal cues to need such strict rules are the same kind of people who will find a way to commit assaults around them regardless.

As I came to understand it, "no means no," was to prevent someone from asking a question with the phrasing that the response, "no" meant to proceed. The answer of no meant that sex was not consented to, regardless of how the question was asked.

The type of question where this applied was along the lines of, "Would you mind having sex?" where "No" could be interpreted as either no-the-respondent-wouldn't-mind-having-sex or no-the-respondent-doesn't-want-sex. Since sometimes the person responding can be bashful on the topic of sex, a somewhat demure response that really is intended as a negative might not be interpreted as a negative by the person asking if she turns away with just a touch of embarrassment as she says no.


Then you misunderstood. "No means no" is meant to dispel the notion present in some other cultures that women should play coy and reject all advances (even welcome ones) out of a sense of propriety, and that men shouldn't take no for an answer unless it's emphatic.

I wasn't actually originally commenting on "No means no", but rather the notion that's being pushed onto the younger generation that all consent must be verbal and explicit and that things like "implied consent", "using good judgement", or "having basic interpersonal skills" have no place in the discussion about sexual encounters.
2017-09-14 04:52:37 PM  
1 vote:

inglixthemad: Benevolent Misanthrope: And they sold the fark out of them, too.

We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.

The mirror is true. Women tend to be passive and view consent as something that should be asked of them instead of proactively saying their wishes. If you don't want to use your voice you're abrogating your responsibility just as much as the guys. Deal with it.


You know what's funny? I've had sex with a LOT of women in my life, in a variety of contexts ranging from two marriages to the occasional anonymous one-nighter, and not once that I can remember has a single one of them ever explicitly asked my verbal permission before making an advance upon my person.  And I find this to be a good thing.
2017-09-14 04:48:25 PM  
1 vote:

orbister: Extra Virgin Geek Olive Oil: If you decline, that's fine. Just know there's probably nothing further we can discuss moving forward and we will simply have to dismiss each other's views.

That's OK. I'm in the UK, it's mid evening and I have a lot to do before tomorrow, so if I don't reply much it's nothing personal.

Generally I prefer a Marxist approach to issues of race and ethnicity. The real conflict is and always has been rich versus poor, and where it is white versus non-white, as it undoubtedly is in many places, that's because "white" stands proxy for rich and "non-white" stands proxy for poor. Except, of course, that it's nt that simple, because there are poor white people and there are rich non-white people. As soon as people let themselves believe that the experience of others must be different because of ethnicity, they are basically allowing capital to divide labour and thereby rule over it. Solidarity, that's what we need, not division.


What I disagree with you on isn't the inference of what "must be" by these statements. My disagreement with you is specifically on the possibility for someone to reasonably claim to know that, on average, being a part of one type of group of people, experiences life or thing in life differently than another group of people. Race, gender, income, sexual identity, sexual preference, it makes no difference how you fill out that variable in On Average Group A experiences things in life differently than Group B.

The claim of saying As a member of Group A, my experiences are vastly different than Group B. Let's break a couple of things down.

First, when using the term know, in most cases save for some very specific instances, when someone says they know something, it means they have reasonably sufficient knowledge to be able to answer questions that demonstrate that knowledge. If I said I know the Spanish language, and yet the only words I could demonstrate were some very basic greetings and a few nouns or a slang term. Most would agree that I did not in fact demonstrate a reasonable knowledge of the Spanish language. If on the other hand I was able to hold an hour long conversation in Spanish with someone and there were minimal to no mistranslations, then most would agree that I had enough knowledge about the language to say that I know Spanish.

Second, is it possible for someone to gain reasonably sufficient knowledge about a topic to make the claim to know about it without having been present, immersed, or born into? Seeing as how we have entire fields of experts who make a living on subjects that they were never a part of, it's safe to say that yes it is possible to have reasonable knowledge of things such as cultures or race without having to specifically be a part of or born into them.

Next, how can we come to know the experiences of people in other groups if we were not born into or immersed in those groups? The answer here is pretty easy. We communicate with those people. They share with us their experiences. We share with them ours. By examining their collective experiences and comparing those to experiences shared by the people who share our own group, we can see a more clear picture. And by having empathy, we can reasonably extrapolate any negative differences between our experiences and theirs.

Finally, how can we determine the vastness of these differences. Again by examining the negative differences between what one group experiences over another, especially in the cases of interactions with people from a third type of group (white men vs black men when interacting with police for example) and mentally calculating the number of differences of these types of situations, we can say within reason that two groups of people do in fact experience things vastly different from each other.

All of this takes into consideration the type of data collected and how much and doing a quick mental calculation to figure out what the average seems to be, and basing those statements using those averages.

It is reasonable to say "As a thrill-seeker, my experiences on roller coasters are vastly different from acrophobics" (those with a fear of things like roller coasters or bungee jumping).

Just because race or gender is involved in the topic, that doesn't mean we should tip-toe around facts. If the fact is that on the average women experience dating vastly different then men, and this is something that is largely common knowledge, there is nothing offensive about it, and to state this fact, being a member of either of those groups, doesn't inherently mean you are speaking on behalf of all of that group, only that your experiences seem, by all accounts, to largely match the majority of others in that group.

Nothing more, nothing less.
2017-09-14 03:56:58 PM  
1 vote:

backhand.slap.of.reason: What's a "condom"?


It's like a condor, except smaller and more rubbery.
2017-09-14 03:07:03 PM  
1 vote:

IDisposable: Smoking GNU: As a male, i find ''No means no'' to be pretty self-explanatory.

It's not just "no means no", it's also "not saying anything means no".


As stated literally, this is way overboard.  While explicitly asking for verbal consent is something that should always be on the table when there's a large degree of uncertainty about what one of you wants, reading body language or expecting some active participation from your partner (i.e. cues that something isn't wanted) is not automatically "sex without consent", and the idea that every advance must be preceded by a verbal request lest the advance be considered assault is absolutely ludicrous.

It's silly to try to codify a human interaction as messy as sex that strictly, and the kind of people blind enough to non-verbal cues to need such strict rules are the same kind of people who will find a way to commit assaults around them regardless.
2017-09-14 02:00:55 PM  
1 vote:

karlandtanya: Ker_Thwap: [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/oQbei5JGiT8 - 480x270]

Have you ever just asked a woman directly what kind of tea she likes and then offered her a cup of that kind of tea?  Just come right out and ask her directly:    "I enjoy serving this kind of tea--do you like this kind?  Would you like some tea later this evening?  Or perhaps right now?"


Gloria, I too know what it feels like to be thirsty.
2017-09-14 01:28:27 PM  
1 vote:

karlandtanya: Have you ever just asked a woman directly what kind of tea she likes and then offered her a cup of that kind of tea? Just come right out and ask her directly: "I enjoy serving this kind of tea--do you like this kind? Would you like some tea later this evening? Or perhaps right now?"


That bloody tea video is terrible. "Yesterday I visited my friend. Last time I saw her she made me a cup of tea, which I drank. The time before that, she made me a cup of tea, which I drank. In fact, we've been meeting up twice a week for five years and every time she has made me a cup of tea and I've drunk it. But yesterday ... she made the tea without asking. The biatch raped me."

And, of course, it makes the usual prudish assumption that no women could ever want sex without being coaxed into it.
2017-09-14 01:22:00 PM  
1 vote:

Extra Virgin Geek Olive Oil: Ok, let me see if I understand you correctly. You are saying when she uses the words "My experiences differ from that of other ethnic groups" that she is making a knowledge claim on what other ethnic groups experiences are?


Well of course she is, because otherwise she can't know that her experience is "vastly different", not just different, from theirs. And she write that "As a white woman". What is it about being a white woman that lets her judge the experiences of others?
2017-09-14 01:11:28 PM  
1 vote:

Extra Virgin Geek Olive Oil: I think the biggest issue, and why there is such a big question mark on the "sensibility" of the entire conversation is that there are 2 sides to this subject.


And, really, two different subjects: consent, the concept, and consent as it applies to legal lines in the sand.

I find myself _morally_ agreeing with the idea that one should carry a higher standard of consent besides "well, there wasn't a 'no'."  That much strikes me as simply human, and polite... something I think one should be with another person even on a one night stand.

However, due to the very high potential for abuse (in the legal sense) that such a vague, unspecific non-standard carries, I would be extremely uncomfortable with anything other than "no equals no" being the legal divider between rape and all other forms of awkward, uncertain, probably-inexperienced sex.  There are cases where "not saying anything" has meant "yes," there are cases where it has meant "no," and most of the time, "not saying anything" is just too vague.  I don't think the law should see such a situation as "rape... you know, just in case."

And yes, I see a frightening number of people pushing for exactly that.  I think that's where a lot of the pushback against "extended consent" comes from.
2017-09-14 11:19:24 AM  
1 vote:

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: peterquince: Smoking GNU: Benevolent Misanthrope: And they sold the fark out of them, too.

We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.

As a male, i find ''No means no'' to be pretty self-explanatory.

The challenge is convincing some guys (not directed at you, because you're clearly a supporter) that "no means no" isn't enough - but that "yes means yes".

Been married a long time now...so I've been out of the dating scene for a long time, which means this really isn't my subject or concern...but are times such that you REALLY have to stop what you  are doing, and ask your female partner (who is going along gleefully with everything so far, who has said not a word of protest) "Are you REALLY sure you want to have sex now?" "Really, really sure?" "I'm not pressuring you into anything?"   That seems really bizarre to me.  Again, not my scene anymore, but has it really gotten that bad with predatory men, and women who can't (I know that is a loaded word) stand up for themselves and just say "No."?


No of course not. The vast majority of people have sufficiently developed social skills that it's obvious whether someone wants to or not.

If someone is all over you, kissing you back, taking your clothes off as you take theirs off, etc, then you don't need to check they want to cos it's obvious.

But if someone is not responding at all, just stting there, or lying there, it probably is worth saying 'are you sure you want to do this?' It might be they're very nervous and they want you to take the lead, but they do wanna do it. But it might be that they don't, and they're scared to say no because they think you might be angry or tell everyone they're frigid.

I honestly think this mostly is only an issue with young, inexperienced people, just starting out, or people with low self esteem, who are a bit damaged.
2017-09-14 10:48:25 AM  
1 vote:

HAMMERTOE: adamatari: Honestly? There are some rapists who don't know, but most of them know. They know well and they do it over and over. I think Bill Cosby knew he was a rapist. I think so did Polanski. I think they just don't care and think they'll get away with it just like they did however many times before.

I do believe you're at least partially right, at least in cases where the perpetrator is an "elite". But there are also cases where the rapist is of the more common "garden variety". I think they might be confused by conflicting messages. "Grab her by the pu$$y" is a generally agreed-upon vile and disgusting expression of that mentality, but what if she's clearly a "one-percenter" and we strongly suspect that's where her money is? Does she still retain her right to privacy of her person and belongings if enough of us sell our votes to a politician who promises us to strip her of them?


I have read the last three lines five times and have no idea what you are saying.

The women Donald Trump allegedly abused were not one-percenters, it's not okay to rape rich women, and every person - man or woman - has a right to their person and belongings.
2017-09-14 10:39:59 AM  
1 vote:

peterquince: Smoking GNU: Benevolent Misanthrope: And they sold the fark out of them, too.

We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.

As a male, i find ''No means no'' to be pretty self-explanatory.

The challenge is convincing some guys (not directed at you, because you're clearly a supporter) that "no means no" isn't enough - but that "yes means yes".


Been married a long time now...so I've been out of the dating scene for a long time, which means this really isn't my subject or concern...but are times such that you REALLY have to stop what you  are doing, and ask your female partner (who is going along gleefully with everything so far, who has said not a word of protest) "Are you REALLY sure you want to have sex now?"  "Really, really sure?" "I'm not pressuring you into anything?"   That seems really bizarre to me.  Again, not my scene anymore, but has it really gotten that bad with predatory men, and women who can't (I know that is a loaded word) stand up for themselves and just say "No."?
2017-09-14 10:29:26 AM  
1 vote:

Benevolent Misanthrope: And they sold the fark out of them, too.

We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.


Honestly? There are some rapists who don't know, but most of them know. They know well and they do it over and over. I think Bill Cosby knew he was a rapist. I think so did Polanski. I think they just don't care and think they'll get away with it just like they did however many times before.
2017-09-14 10:19:05 AM  
1 vote:
Nothing gets a woman more wet than having her sign a contract consenting to the act.

I think the cues for consent and desire are subtle but easily read if you know what to look for. I guess that doesn't apply to certain people who are socially awkward. This whole thing is overboard because no man rapes someone "accidentally".
2017-09-14 10:17:09 AM  
1 vote:

Benevolent Misanthrope: theflatline: Benevolent Misanthrope: yoyopro: Benevolent Misanthrope:
We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.

I understand you.  Speaking as a male, sometimes I am ashamed to be one of them.  But take heart, we're not all like that.
Speaking as a white male, sometimes I feel compelled to say the same thing to my black friends.

Yeah - I know what you mean. As a white woman, my experience is vastly different from other ethnic groups. And even though I'm gay, that's not obvious. It's not the same as being part of a visible minority. I often want to say to my black and Latino friends, "Yes,  I get it that I enjoy privilege. Please don't think I'm like those turds in Charlottesville."

Are you Canadian?

"Visible minority".

No, but used to live there and I like that shorthand.  I also use "newcomer" instead of "immigrant".  It's just nicer.


People is what I see.  I never knew I was a visible minority until I went to Canada.  I found it quite insulting.  I have spent my life between the south and South America, only place my browness was of any contention was the NE of the US and Canada.
2017-09-14 10:10:06 AM  
1 vote:

orbister: Benevolent Misanthrope: As a white woman, my experience is vastly different from other ethnic groups.

Who are you to speak about the experiences of other ethnic groups? Check your privilege.


I'm growing to hate that phrase.
2017-09-14 10:09:26 AM  
1 vote:

Benevolent Misanthrope: theflatline: Benevolent Misanthrope: yoyopro: Benevolent Misanthrope:
We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.

I understand you.  Speaking as a male, sometimes I am ashamed to be one of them.  But take heart, we're not all like that.
Speaking as a white male, sometimes I feel compelled to say the same thing to my black friends.

Yeah - I know what you mean. As a white woman, my experience is vastly different from other ethnic groups. And even though I'm gay, that's not obvious. It's not the same as being part of a visible minority. I often want to say to my black and Latino friends, "Yes,  I get it that I enjoy privilege. Please don't think I'm like those turds in Charlottesville."

Are you Canadian?

"Visible minority".

No, but used to live there and I like that shorthand.  I also use "newcomer" instead of "immigrant".  It's just nicer.


It's only nicer if you'er a xenophobe.
2017-09-14 10:06:34 AM  
1 vote:
"It took me a minute to actually get that the donut was supposed to be part of the sentence, but even after the pun clicked, I just have so many more questions about the brainstorming process behind this," wrote one commenter.

In what way is "O Go further without consent" better than "Go further without consent"?
2017-09-14 10:04:13 AM  
1 vote:

Lady J: I think a good rule of thumb for a young person would be, if the other person isn't doing any of the running , isn't making any of the moves ... you need to check they're up for it.


I think we should stop stressing consent, much of the discussion of which is based on an intensely sexist notion that women can never be actively sexual and can only ever be coaxed into sex by a man. Instead we should stress pleasure to young people - if you are not giving the other person pleasure you should stop doing what you're doing and if you don't know whether you're giving the other person pleasure you should ask. If they're enjoying it, consent is there and if they are not enjoying it consent, however coaxed, coerced or wheedled, is worthless.

But hey, can you imagine how the Daily Mail would react if we told young people that sex is supposed to be fun for everybody involved?
2017-09-14 10:01:06 AM  
1 vote:

Benevolent Misanthrope: No, but used to live there and I like that shorthand.  I also use "newcomer" instead of "immigrant".  It's just nicer.


It's not nicer, it's dishonest. Don't let them make "immigrant" a dirty word because it's not. Many immigrants I know have been here way longer than I've been alive -- I'm the relative newcomer in that situatuon.
2017-09-14 09:15:11 AM  
1 vote:

IDisposable: Smoking GNU: As a male, i find ''No means no'' to be pretty self-explanatory.

It's not just "no means no", it's also "not saying anything means no".


That's the trickier one for a lot of guys. "She was into it, by which I mean she didn't slap my face and say no, and I didn't want to jinx it by explicitly asking."
2017-09-14 09:13:01 AM  
1 vote:

IDisposable: Smoking GNU: As a male, i find ''No means no'' to be pretty self-explanatory.

It's not just "no means no", it's also "not saying anything means no".


You make a good point. This consent stuff is all over the media here, and there's been loads of soap storylines, and public service type adverts aimed at young people.

I think a good rule of thumb for a young person would be, if the other person isn't doing any of the running , isn't making any of the moves ... you need to check they're up for it.
2017-09-14 09:08:53 AM  
1 vote:
Who the hell has difficulty 'wrapping their head around the concept of consent'?  Those sociopaths understand it just fine, they chose to ignore it.  And they are the minority or else there would be open rape in the streets 24/7.
2017-09-14 09:07:44 AM  
1 vote:

pikov.yndropov: I didn't even bother reading TFA.  But WTF were they thinking to release something like that.  Unless it was done intentionally in order to feed the well oiled outrage machine.

/stay angry mis amigos


I almost wonder if, though, if we're just not the target audience for this. Are 17 year-olds reading it the same way? If it's just that I'm old, and other people are regularly communicating with rebus puzzles like this....it's not impossible that we're missing the point, not them.
2017-09-14 09:00:50 AM  
1 vote:

Lady J: SanityIsAFullTimeJob: Benevolent Misanthrope: And they sold the fark out of them, too.

We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.

If by "guys," you mean "very few guys," you may be right. Dumb stereotyping is dumb.

All of this. The vast majority of guys have no problem at all with the concept of consent. So it can't be that difficult to establish in someone.


Yeah. The two dicks I've met who were into actual manipulation, even blackmail and attempted rape (he couldn't keep the erection) knew exactly what they were doing. Worse, they were amused by it.

/I have no qualms with the death penalty for 100% proven cases of rape
2017-09-14 08:49:51 AM  
1 vote:

SanityIsAFullTimeJob: Benevolent Misanthrope: And they sold the fark out of them, too.

We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.

If by "guys," you mean "very few guys," you may be right. Dumb stereotyping is dumb.


Maybe, but let's not pretend that we aren't a nation that let Donald Trump take high office.
2017-09-14 08:48:05 AM  
1 vote:

SanityIsAFullTimeJob: Benevolent Misanthrope: And they sold the fark out of them, too.

We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.

If by "guys," you mean "very few guys," you may be right. Dumb stereotyping is dumb.


All of this. The vast majority of guys have no problem at all with the concept of consent. So it can't be that difficult to establish in someone.
2017-09-14 08:47:24 AM  
1 vote:

yoyopro: Benevolent Misanthrope:
We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.

I understand you.  Speaking as a male, sometimes I am ashamed to be one of them.  But take heart, we're not all like that.
Speaking as a white male, sometimes I feel compelled to say the same thing to my black friends.


Yeah - I know what you mean. As a white woman, my experience is vastly different from other ethnic groups. And even though I'm gay, that's not obvious. It's not the same as being part of a visible minority. I often want to say to my black and Latino friends, "Yes,  I get it that I enjoy privilege. Please don't think I'm like those turds in Charlottesville."
2017-09-14 08:43:29 AM  
1 vote:

Benevolent Misanthrope: And they sold the fark out of them, too.

We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.


If by "guys," you mean "very few guys," you may be right. Dumb stereotyping is dumb.
2017-09-14 08:41:54 AM  
1 vote:

Benevolent Misanthrope: And they sold the fark out of them, too.

We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.


As a male, i find ''No means no'' to be pretty self-explanatory.
2017-09-14 08:36:33 AM  
1 vote:
Benevolent Misanthrope:
We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.

I understand you.  Speaking as a male, sometimes I am ashamed to be one of them.  But take heart, we're not all like that.
Speaking as a white male, sometimes I feel compelled to say the same thing to my black friends.
2017-09-14 08:07:53 AM  
1 vote:
And they sold the fark out of them, too.

We had a thread about this recently - how rapists don't know they're rapists and the whole idea of consent being difficult for many men to get their brains around.  This makes me think guys feel like consent for sex is a joke - something you do because she might falsely accuse you of rape later, but everybody knows it's just another PC-stupid thing.
 
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