Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Virginian-Pilot)   Copier company forced former employee into a pagan ritual to exorcise demons from office, lawsuit says   ( pilotonline.com) divider line
    More: Weird, Lindsey, Abuse, Pleading, Ms. Lindsey, Vanover, Patricia Lindsey, lawsuit, Ms. Vanover  
•       •       •

3317 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Sep 2017 at 9:08 PM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-09-13 03:47:59 PM  
The article seems to imply the pagan ritual was a bad thing.  This country was founded on paganism, and it is what has made our country great.
 
2017-09-13 04:38:59 PM  
From what I can gather from TFA she was 'present' when someone else burned sage so, totes "FORCED TO PARTICIPATE". From what I've learned all my life and from my Native American Studies class Native Americans don't really have 'issues' burning Sage as they farking invented burning Sage in rituals. Color me cornfuzzled.
 
2017-09-13 04:45:35 PM  
How many moments of silence and pseudo-christian prayers have I had to sit through over the years?

Lots.

Cope.
 
2017-09-13 05:08:43 PM  
 Many years ago I worked in an office with a window overlooking an interior atrium. On the other side of the atrium were similar offices. As it so happens it afforded me an excellent view of another company's copier room.

 One day I'm on the phone I turn around glancing out the window I see three women early in their 20s dancing and gyrating around the copier in  some ritual meant to free up a paper jam or something.

I was absolutely entranced by the secret ritual I was witnessing. I will never know if they got their copiesbecause after a moment they noticed me and scattered laughing all the while.

Wait. What were we talking about?
 
2017-09-13 07:51:10 PM  

OK So Amuse Me: From what I can gather from TFA she was 'present' when someone else burned sage so, totes "FORCED TO PARTICIPATE". From what I've learned all my life and from my Native American Studies class Native Americans don't really have 'issues' burning Sage as they farking invented burning Sage in rituals. Color me cornfuzzled.


But the best part was that they were 'exercising' the demons

Not clear whether it was the complainant or the sage burners who thought that a bit of cardio might help
 
2017-09-13 08:19:04 PM  

mjjt: OK So Amuse Me: From what I can gather from TFA she was 'present' when someone else burned sage so, totes "FORCED TO PARTICIPATE". From what I've learned all my life and from my Native American Studies class Native Americans don't really have 'issues' burning Sage as they farking invented burning Sage in rituals. Color me cornfuzzled.

But the best part was that they were 'exercising' the demons

Not clear whether it was the complainant or the sage burners who thought that a bit of cardio might help


LOL I totally missed that! I guess my brain filtered it and read it as exorcise. That's even funnier!
 
2017-09-13 09:12:16 PM  
I knicknamed our copier Bob Marley, because it was always jammin'
 
2017-09-13 09:19:22 PM  
fired for failure to PC load letter
 
2017-09-13 09:21:30 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


/It's a shame the demons seem to have taken Scott Adams
 
2017-09-13 09:24:01 PM  
Well seeing as how copies are a tool of the devil...
 
2017-09-13 09:28:20 PM  
I am curious about the Wiccan twine. Is it supposed to be better than regular twine?
 
2017-09-13 09:30:23 PM  
I've seen her pictures on her FB profile. She might have trouble convincing a jury that he was soliciting sexual favors from her.
 
2017-09-13 09:30:45 PM  
i remove my cap, lower my eyes, kneel, and raise my fist far unto the heavens all for the glory of my god!!  --

whiskey


/sorry
//religion bothers me
 
2017-09-13 09:35:21 PM  
The copier guy always removes the 'Suave' post-it I put under the Ricoh emblem.
 
2017-09-13 09:36:24 PM  
Same old same old canned response from upper management. Just like when the Pope or POTUS poopoos something. "I condemn thee. Such actions are intolerable."
Words don't stop Shiat.
 
2017-09-13 09:38:21 PM  

mr_larry: I've seen her pictures on her FB profile. She might have trouble convincing a jury that he was soliciting sexual favors from her.


link?
 
2017-09-13 09:40:36 PM  

mr_larry: I've seen her pictures on her FB profile. She might have trouble convincing a jury that he was soliciting sexual favors from her.


So what? Why are you shaming this beautiful piece of office production utilitarianism?
img.fark.netView Full Size

/also, doubt office manager was skimming the cream....
//probably would take anything
///3
 
2017-09-13 09:41:39 PM  

ojay: The copier guy always removes the 'Suave' post-it I put under the Ricoh emblem.


Was still laughing so I had to come back just to "funny" your comment :-p
 
2017-09-13 09:43:50 PM  
Wasn't this an episode of The Office?
 
Oak
2017-09-13 09:49:21 PM  
All copiers are powered by demons; that's how they work. You don't want to exorcise them; you want to placate them.
 
2017-09-13 09:50:38 PM  
Paging Weaver95 to the thread.
 
2017-09-13 09:53:55 PM  
I can't stand the smell of burning sage. Gives me a splitting headache, makes my ears ring, all I want to do is crawl into a cave until the smell goes away.
 
2017-09-13 09:54:43 PM  
Not that I am a demon or anything. I am a weak pathetic mortal just like the rest of you.
 
2017-09-13 09:55:36 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-13 09:57:38 PM  
Ricoh is our inhouse copier maintenance and copy center partner.

Everyone they've cycled through over the last few years have been freaks.
 
2017-09-13 09:59:28 PM  
What a pagan ritual to exorcise demons from office equipment may look like.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-13 10:02:16 PM  
haha for a smudging? she's really trying to win a lawsuit.
 
2017-09-13 10:03:00 PM  

Madman drummers bummers: [img.fark.net image 564x317]


Amazing.
 
2017-09-13 10:06:41 PM  
Hubby farts and I go running for the sage which I waved around him while chanting "Be gone foul demons of the air!"  He doesn't think it's nearly as funny as I do.
 
2017-09-13 10:11:20 PM  

Alicious: I am curious about the Wiccan twine. Is it supposed to be better than regular twine?


It usually has more hair and reeks of patchouli.
 
2017-09-13 10:19:40 PM  
Norfolk?

I was sure this was going to be in India or Africa
 
2017-09-13 10:22:20 PM  

OK So Amuse Me: From what I can gather from TFA she was 'present' when someone else burned sage so, totes "FORCED TO PARTICIPATE". From what I've learned all my life and from my Native American Studies class Native Americans don't really have 'issues' burning Sage as they farking invented burning Sage in rituals. Color me cornfuzzled.


Wiccans generally don't believe in demons. Also never known them to be so specific in the twine they use.
 
2017-09-13 10:26:05 PM  
Good luck if she doesn't have anything to back it up with.
 
2017-09-13 10:35:07 PM  

freakingmoron: Alicious: I am curious about the Wiccan twine. Is it supposed to be better than regular twine?

It usually has more hair and reeks of patchouli.


Well, at least you tried. :/

big pig peaches:
Wiccans generally don't believe in demons. Also never known them to be so specific in the twine they use.

I am sensing twine marketing potential here.
 
2017-09-13 10:35:57 PM  
Is this why the ink/toner is so expensive?  Always thought it must have been made from virgins blood.
 
2017-09-13 10:38:31 PM  

dv-ous: How many moments of silence and pseudo-christian prayers have I had to sit through over the years?


At every car race basket/golf/foot/base ball game ...
 
2017-09-13 10:39:25 PM  
Paging Weaver95.  Smack this shiat down
 
2017-09-13 10:49:05 PM  

big pig peaches: OK So Amuse Me: From what I can gather from TFA she was 'present' when someone else burned sage so, totes "FORCED TO PARTICIPATE". From what I've learned all my life and from my Native American Studies class Native Americans don't really have 'issues' burning Sage as they farking invented burning Sage in rituals. Color me cornfuzzled.

Wiccans generally don't believe in demons. Also never known them to be so specific in the twine they use.


In my excessively limited Wiccan experiences, their twine is usually rustic jute-y stuff or purple velvet.

Amazon doesn't have any results for 'Wiccan twine.'

I am really curious about this twine now. What if the twine I've been using to hold up my climing plants is secretly wiccan?!?
 
2017-09-13 10:51:55 PM  
Just shake the damn toner cartridge you cheap bastards..You'll get another week or so out of it..
 
2017-09-13 11:08:50 PM  

OK So Amuse Me: From what I can gather from TFA she was 'present' when someone else burned sage so, totes "FORCED TO PARTICIPATE". From what I've learned all my life and from my Native American Studies class Native Americans don't really have 'issues' burning Sage as they farking invented burning Sage in rituals. Color me cornfuzzled.


Pitiful, would not nibble again.
 
2017-09-13 11:10:03 PM  

amfv: Many years ago I worked in an office with a window overlooking an interior atrium. On the other side of the atrium were similar offices. As it so happens it afforded me an excellent view of another company's copier room.

 One day I'm on the phone I turn around glancing out the window I see three women early in their 20s dancing and gyrating around the copier in  some ritual meant to free up a paper jam or something.

I was absolutely entranced by the secret ritual I was witnessing. I will never know if they got their copiesbecause after a moment they noticed me and scattered laughing all the while.

Wait. What were we talking about?


The fact that your fly is open.
 
2017-09-13 11:12:23 PM  

Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel: I can't stand the smell of burning sage. Gives me a splitting headache, makes my ears ring, all I want to do is crawl into a cave until the smell goes away.


So, it works!
 
2017-09-13 11:33:37 PM  

stuffy: Good luck if she doesn't have anything to back it up with.


She went to HR 10 times
 
2017-09-13 11:40:16 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel: I can't stand the smell of burning sage. Gives me a splitting headache, makes my ears ring, all I want to do is crawl into a cave until the smell goes away.

So, it works!


FFS.

I don't care how bad you taste or how many binding spells you know, you're at the top of my list.

At least I know you won't be able to misunderstand THAT.
 
2017-09-13 11:44:30 PM  

Alicious: freakingmoron: Alicious: I am curious about the Wiccan twine. Is it supposed to be better than regular twine?

It usually has more hair and reeks of patchouli.

Well, at least you tried. :/


In all seriousness, I just had some experience with making sage smudge a couple months ago. The sage bushes were over-growing their area in my garden and I didn't want to waste it. I didn't know a lot about making them so I asked my Wiccan friends about it. One had an old book with a great illustrated section on it. The only suggestion for the twine was to use something made from cotton. I had butchers twine and cotton thread sitting around so I tried both of those. The twine would burn ahead of the rate of combustion of the sage and the smoldering sage and twine would fall off. The thread burned too fast and the smudge just kinda loosened up and expanded. I eventually found a heavier upholstery thread at a fabric store that worked best. Sometimes it will leave a few charred threads dangling after the smudge burns past it but it didn't have the fire hazard potential of the other options I'd tried.

TL/DR I have no idea wtf Wiccan twine is even though I think I probably would have encountered it in my experience.
 
2017-09-13 11:50:09 PM  
Leave Pan out of the workplace!
 
2017-09-13 11:51:55 PM  

OK So Amuse Me: From what I can gather from TFA she was 'present' when someone else burned sage so, totes "FORCED TO PARTICIPATE". From what I've learned all my life and from my Native American Studies class Native Americans don't really have 'issues' burning Sage as they farking invented burning Sage in rituals. Color me cornfuzzled.


Seriously speaking, though, if that's the case, she might actually have been offended and took action based on that.

/DNRTA
 
2017-09-13 11:56:43 PM  
I have never seen or heard of such a product as "Wiccan twine". And believe me, I've been in enough occult shops and botanicas that I should have.

/Still regret Indio Imports going bad and then closing
//Still remember the goth in the purple velvet coat and top hat
///And the big penis- and vulva-shaped candles they sold (No, I never bought one)
 
2017-09-14 12:21:02 AM  
I'm tired of paying my personal trainer. Can someone share this exorcism plan?
 
2017-09-14 12:56:01 AM  

The Captain's Ghost: Paging Weaver95 to the thread.


you rang?
 
Displayed 50 of 78 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report