Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   Why you won't buy Apple's new $1000 phone   ( slate.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Apple, IPhone, new iPhone, expensive Apple phone, price tag, Smartphone, higher price, iPhone Upgrade Program  
•       •       •

2909 clicks; posted to Geek » on 11 Sep 2017 at 11:56 PM (18 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2017-09-11 09:35:13 PM  
Because it doesn't have a rotary dial?
 
2017-09-11 09:37:42 PM  
I don't need a new phone?
 
2017-09-11 09:38:06 PM  
Wrong question, the one to ask is "Why would I want to buy Apple's new phone?".
 
2017-09-11 09:38:19 PM  
It could be because I can't charge my car with it or power my home during a black out. Or that it doesn't overcome the horrible signal issues that so many carriers have out in rural and suburban areas of Arizona. But mostly because I think Apple doesn't want me to be a customer with that sort of price tag.
 
2017-09-11 09:39:48 PM  
Because I just bought a Moto G5 Plus for pocket change?
 
2017-09-11 09:44:06 PM  
Because I'm waiting for the Pixel 2.
 
2017-09-11 09:55:19 PM  
And Apple's hike could just make room for more success among Apple's more affordable competitors. But it may also cement Apple as a truly luxury brand, and using an Android phone might start to look less like a matter of preference and more a reflection on what you can afford.

F*CK YOU.

I have an Android because I hate iOS with a passion. My computer is a MacBook and I love it, but iOS sucks. I use what is useful to ME.
 
2017-09-11 10:03:59 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-09-11 10:33:20 PM  
I know it's not uncommon for developers and manufacturers to pay for pretty reviews and articles, but this elevated "paid shill" to an art.
 
2017-09-11 10:37:16 PM  
Facial recognition? Am I supposed to pretend to be Chloe from "24" or Abby from NCIS?
 
2017-09-11 10:42:51 PM  
Because it doesn't have a headphone jack?
 
2017-09-11 11:28:20 PM  

Mugato: Facial recognition?


Yup..that's a face.
 
2017-09-11 11:30:12 PM  
Because I just bought a refurbished iPhone 6s on eBay so I could have a headphone jack?
 
2017-09-11 11:46:20 PM  
It's not a question, a comma is missing. "Why, you won't buy Apple's new $1000 phone!"
 
2017-09-11 11:59:29 PM  
I haven't owned anything but Apple products since the IIe. I'm not a snob or a fanboy, it's just that I like the way Apple products work and I don't like the way PC products work. So at some point I'll probably have one of these phones in my pocket.
 
2017-09-12 12:03:44 AM  

optikeye: Mugato: Facial recognition?

Yup..that's a face.


How is it supposed to differentiate between neckbeards?
 
2017-09-12 12:07:02 AM  

FormlessOne: Because I just bought a Moto G5 Plus for pocket change?


At least they put the magnetometer back in that one. I went from a Gen 1 to a G4 and found out it got removed in 2, 3 and 4. That really sucked because that was a tool I actually used, a lot.
 
2017-09-12 12:08:23 AM  
I'm still buying the first one
 
2017-09-12 12:09:08 AM  
Because I've found that I rarely use so many of the apps and features on the $700 phone I carry right now?
 
2017-09-12 12:13:20 AM  
Because I bought it a few years ago when I got my Galaxy S7?
 
2017-09-12 12:15:04 AM  
why is it that Apple products require one to bin their device and purchase a new one any time minor o/s revisions are made, yet anyone with sense and an android device can enjoy several generations of backwards compatible o/s' all for the price of their time in update

this particular planned obsolescence is based solely upon the desires of the next shiny thing they can flaunt to their audience.  there is no purpose to buy their stupid, overpriced phone unless you adore it.

I'm sure it's good at what it does for that timeframe it's supposed to, of course.

/note 4.  4.4 to 5.0 to 5.1 to 6.0 to 7.1
 
2017-09-12 12:23:24 AM  

arcgear: why is it that Apple products require one to bin their device and purchase a new one any time minor o/s revisions are made, yet anyone with sense and an android device can enjoy several generations of backwards compatible o/s' all for the price of their time in update

this particular planned obsolescence is based solely upon the desires of the next shiny thing they can flaunt to their audience.  there is no purpose to buy their stupid, overpriced phone unless you adore it.

I'm sure it's good at what it does for that timeframe it's supposed to, of course.

/note 4.  4.4 to 5.0 to 5.1 to 6.0 to 7.1


It actually takes 3 years or so for Apple phones to become impossible to upgrade to the latest version of the OS. By that time, some significant hardware failure or fatal accident is likely to occur anyway.
 
2017-09-12 12:24:48 AM  

caution: It's not a question, a comma is missing. "Why, you won't buy Apple's new $1000 phone!"


That reminds me of one of my buddy's five maxims:

"Fa
 
2017-09-12 12:26:23 AM  
Because I'm still rocking my Samsung Galaxy Note 4 and Mrs. Shrink lives her Note 3?
 
2017-09-12 12:26:24 AM  

The Smails Kid: caution: It's not a question, a comma is missing. "Why, you won't buy Apple's new $1000 phone!"

That reminds me of one of my buddy's five maxims:

"Fa


...rk you, asshole mobile interface!"

AHEM! Let's try that again.

"Visiting relatives are like assholes. You were expecting an analogy after that sentence, but all it is missing is two commas."
 
2017-09-12 12:27:55 AM  
Because it's a THOUSAND FARKING DOLLARS?
 
2017-09-12 12:28:07 AM  

Shrink: Because I'm still rocking my Samsung Galaxy Note 4 and Mrs. Shrink lives her Note 3?


Yes, LIVES!
/lurves
 
2017-09-12 12:29:47 AM  
Because you can get at least 3 high-quality escorts for that kind of money? Because that's one month's rent for a cheap apartment in the San Francisco Bay Area?
 
2017-09-12 12:30:59 AM  

forgotmydamnusername: arcgear: why is it that Apple products require one to bin their device and purchase a new one any time minor o/s revisions are made, yet anyone with sense and an android device can enjoy several generations of backwards compatible o/s' all for the price of their time in update

this particular planned obsolescence is based solely upon the desires of the next shiny thing they can flaunt to their audience.  there is no purpose to buy their stupid, overpriced phone unless you adore it.

I'm sure it's good at what it does for that timeframe it's supposed to, of course.

/note 4.  4.4 to 5.0 to 5.1 to 6.0 to 7.1

It actually takes 3 years or so for Apple phones to become impossible to upgrade to the latest version of the OS. By that time, some significant hardware failure or fatal accident is likely to occur anyway.


if "jailbroken" isn't a handset barred from updates?
 
2017-09-12 12:31:51 AM  
Buy the phone for $1000, and we'll let you know how many other people bought the phone for $1000.
 
2017-09-12 12:32:44 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: And Apple's hike could just make room for more success among Apple's more affordable competitors. But it may also cement Apple as a truly luxury brand, and using an Android phone might start to look less like a matter of preference and more a reflection on what you can afford.

F*CK YOU.

I have an Android because I hate iOS with a passion. My computer is a MacBook and I love it, but iOS sucks. I use what is useful to ME.


Hey, is that your Datsun they're towing?
 
2017-09-12 12:34:32 AM  
I still have the note 3...works awesome..and also have an early Samsung 3.and it still works great...Apple can make cool things..but I can stock up on my winter booze..so blow off....$1000 for a phone...on your knees before I do that
 
2017-09-12 12:36:26 AM  
Because I can
 
2017-09-12 12:37:41 AM  
The iPhone 8 now with all the same features that have been in windows phone and android for years. Congratulations on paying more for them.

/sent from my iPhone
 
2017-09-12 12:53:55 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: And Apple's hike could just make room for more success among Apple's more affordable competitors. But it may also cement Apple as a truly luxury brand, and using an Android phone might start to look less like a matter of preference and more a reflection on what you can afford.

F*CK YOU.

I have an Android because I hate iOS with a passion. My computer is a MacBook and I love it, but iOS sucks. I use what is useful to ME.


But America RELIES on you buying into status symbols!
 
2017-09-12 12:55:30 AM  

hundreddollarman: Because you can get at least 3 high-quality escorts for that kind of money? Because that's one month's rent for a cheap apartment in the San Francisco Bay Area?


Wat.

Whar.
 
2017-09-12 12:56:10 AM  

hundreddollarman: Because you can get at least 3 high-quality escorts for that kind of money? Because that's one month's rent for a cheap apartment in the San Francisco Bay Area?


A studio apartment in the Tenderloin goes for double that. I don't think you'd be able to find anything in East Oakland or the Iron Triangle in Richmond for a grand anymore, either.
 
2017-09-12 01:09:38 AM  

The Smails Kid: hundreddollarman: Because you can get at least 3 high-quality escorts for that kind of money? Because that's one month's rent for a cheap apartment in the San Francisco Bay Area?

Wat.

Whar.


San Francisco, Wyoming. It's hip.
 
2017-09-12 01:11:09 AM  

forgotmydamnusername: hundreddollarman: Because you can get at least 3 high-quality escorts for that kind of money? Because that's one month's rent for a cheap apartment in the San Francisco Bay Area?

A studio apartment in the Tenderloin goes for double that. I don't think you'd be able to find anything in East Oakland or the Iron Triangle in Richmond for a grand anymore, either.


Definitely not there, but in some parts of Sonoma and Solano counties, you can get a modest apartment (1 bd/1 ba) for about $850-$1,000 a month. But then you factor in utilities, cable, etc. ...
 
2017-09-12 01:14:07 AM  

arcgear: forgotmydamnusername: arcgear: why is it that Apple products require one to bin their device and purchase a new one any time minor o/s revisions are made, yet anyone with sense and an android device can enjoy several generations of backwards compatible o/s' all for the price of their time in update

this particular planned obsolescence is based solely upon the desires of the next shiny thing they can flaunt to their audience.  there is no purpose to buy their stupid, overpriced phone unless you adore it.

I'm sure it's good at what it does for that timeframe it's supposed to, of course.

/note 4.  4.4 to 5.0 to 5.1 to 6.0 to 7.1

It actually takes 3 years or so for Apple phones to become impossible to upgrade to the latest version of the OS. By that time, some significant hardware failure or fatal accident is likely to occur anyway.

if "jailbroken" isn't a handset barred from updates?


No, they're just more difficult to execute, and if there's no jailbreak out for the updated version of the OS you want to go to, why yes, you're hosed until someone gets it together to release one.
 
2017-09-12 01:23:40 AM  

hundreddollarman: forgotmydamnusername: hundreddollarman: Because you can get at least 3 high-quality escorts for that kind of money? Because that's one month's rent for a cheap apartment in the San Francisco Bay Area?

A studio apartment in the Tenderloin goes for double that. I don't think you'd be able to find anything in East Oakland or the Iron Triangle in Richmond for a grand anymore, either.

Definitely not there, but in some parts of Sonoma and Solano counties, you can get a modest apartment (1 bd/1 ba) for about $850-$1,000 a month. But then you factor in utilities, cable, etc. ...


Just looked at some rental ads for Santa Rosa. $1200 is looking as cheap as it gets.
 
2017-09-12 01:56:35 AM  

NewportBarGuy: Because it doesn't have a rotary dial?


i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2017-09-12 02:14:57 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: And Apple's hike could just make room for more success among Apple's more affordable competitors. But it may also cement Apple as a truly luxury brand, and using an Android phone might start to look less like a matter of preference and more a reflection on what you can afford.

F*CK YOU.

I have an Android because I hate iOS with a passion. My computer is a MacBook and I love it, but iOS sucks. I use what is useful to ME.


I worked on SoundJam before Apple bought the rights. Every time I update iTunes it gets crappier and crappier.

I'm embarrassed to admit I was there for it's birth.
 
2017-09-12 02:16:35 AM  

forgotmydamnusername: arcgear: why is it that Apple products require one to bin their device and purchase a new one any time minor o/s revisions are made, yet anyone with sense and an android device can enjoy several generations of backwards compatible o/s' all for the price of their time in update

this particular planned obsolescence is based solely upon the desires of the next shiny thing they can flaunt to their audience.  there is no purpose to buy their stupid, overpriced phone unless you adore it.

I'm sure it's good at what it does for that timeframe it's supposed to, of course.

/note 4.  4.4 to 5.0 to 5.1 to 6.0 to 7.1

It actually takes 3 years or so for Apple phones to become impossible to upgrade to the latest version of the OS. By that time, some significant hardware failure or fatal accident is likely to occur anyway.


Much longer than that. About 5 years.
 
2017-09-12 02:18:04 AM  
Because I'm waiting for...
SURFACE PHONE!
 
2017-09-12 03:46:43 AM  

Notabunny: I like the way Apple products work


My (donated) iPad2 has kicked me out of Facetime and refuses to sign back in (to my great relief).

So for my part, I like the way Apple products don't work.
 
2017-09-12 04:02:38 AM  
No headphone jack, no purchase. My last two phones were iPhones, but I'm switching to something else when I get a new one.
 
2017-09-12 04:46:44 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: And Apple's hike could just make room for more success among Apple's more affordable competitors. But it may also cement Apple as a truly luxury brand, and using an Android phone might start to look less like a matter of preference and more a reflection on what you can afford.

F*CK YOU.

I have an Android because I hate iOS with a passion. My computer is a MacBook and I love it, but iOS sucks. I use what is useful to ME.


I do customer service for Verizon and 9 times out of 10 someone who calls on because their phone gets a bad signal has an iPhone.  They aren't good phones.
I've always went with Samsung and the only time my phone didn't work as a phone is when I'm in the middle of the Rocky mountains well outside of my coverage and it still works better than whatever piece of shiat Apple is selling.
 
2017-09-12 04:50:54 AM  
 Apple phones suck.  End of story.
 
2017-09-12 04:59:13 AM  
I'm still amazed by how many people have an Apple watch.  I wouldn't trade a broken Seiko 5 for one.
 
Displayed 50 of 83 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report