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(ESPN)   Week 1 of the NFL season continues. After the Chiefs surprised the Patriots, will there be any other big upsets? Who will become an unsung hero? Fire up the grill and get the cold ones ready...kickoff begins at 1pm ET   ( espn.com) divider line
    More: Live, American football positions, Rams DT Aaron, DT Aaron Donald, American football, Steelers OLB Bud, high ankle sprain, National Football League, WR ArDarius Stewart  
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340 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 10 Sep 2017 at 12:00 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



2421 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Newest

 
2017-09-10 12:43:25 AM  
viralcircus.com
 
2017-09-10 02:13:44 AM  
My fantasy team would have been a lot better had Brandin Cooks not been mugged in the end zone twice by Mitchell. Three times total in the game.
 
2017-09-10 03:20:54 AM  
I started Kareem Hunt in my money league. that is all. :P


Kareem Hunt's message to fantasy owners | The Fantasy Show with Matthew Berry | ESPN
Youtube ssP1o0k3yg0

 
2017-09-10 05:13:44 AM  
Any degenerate gamblers here?
If you go by rule of thumb CLE is a 9 point home dog versus PIT which makes it almost an automatic bet on CLE but eeeww hard to take that one.  Same with CHI a 6 point home dog versus ATL and again eew.  I like OAK as a 3 point dog against TEN. SEA usually starts the season slow which makes GB attractive as a 3 point fav.  Not much else jumping out at me.  Anyone else have a lock they'd like to share?
 
2017-09-10 07:12:30 AM  

relaxitsjustme: Any degenerate gamblers here?
If you go by rule of thumb CLE is a 9 point home dog versus PIT which makes it almost an automatic bet on CLE but eeeww hard to take that one.  Same with CHI a 6 point home dog versus ATL and again eew.  I like OAK as a 3 point dog against TEN. SEA usually starts the season slow which makes GB attractive as a 3 point fav.  Not much else jumping out at me.  Anyone else have a lock they'd like to share?


I'm headed to Bills/Jets in a bit. Be hard to bet against them today. God, I'm so excited. Bloody Mary anyone?
 
2017-09-10 08:54:59 AM  
[clears throat]

fooooooooooooooot-baaaaaaaaaaaaaaw

That is all.
 
2017-09-10 08:56:49 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2017-09-10 09:16:04 AM  
My early games are JEST-Buffasuck and Eagles-Skins.

Thinking I may wait till the late game to get some real football, even if I'd rather watch the non-Buck game for reasons other than Buck for once.
 
2017-09-10 09:21:09 AM  

img.fark.net

GOOOOOOOD MORNING, FARK.COM!!! XD



This Offseason has been a real pisser; Trump, Russians, the specter of nuclear war with a 3rd-world dictatorship, and the return of the f**king Nazis. NAZIS! The city of Houston's been swamped by Hurricane Harvey, and now, Florida is getting a pounding from Hurricane Irma. To say "fun has been in short supply lately" is an understatement. :-(

But maybe, MAYBE, we can all have some respite from the s**tshow life's been throwing at us this year. Let us break out the pizza, buffalo wings, hamburgers, and make our SO's fix us a goddamn sammich! Let us dust off our beer hats, get drunk, and throw some even-drunker Bills fans through a table or two! Let us throw caution to the wind and, most important of all, make some really stupid bets with our friends, family, and bookies of questionable repute! PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL HAS RETURNED TO US, AND, BY GOD, I THINK WE'VE F**KING EARNED IT!

THIS is Captain Steroid's Week 1...

img.fark.net

My picks for today are as follows...

- Buffalo tramples the Jets, putting them in 1st Place in the AFC East! Let that sink in for a moment.

- Washington clips the Eagles wings. Get Over It!

- Raiders top the Titans in the "Battle of the Broken Quarterbacks"!

- Houston Texans bring their city a much-needed win! Granted, it's against the Jaguars, but I think they'll take it.

- ♫It's the Ciiiiircle of Liiiiife, as the Lions maul the Cardinaaaaals!♫

- Steelers do to the Browns what Ben Roethlisberger does to motorcycles... wrecks the S**T out of 'em! :P

- Could'a-been-Super-Bowl-Champion Atlanta Falcons claw the holy hell out of DA' Bears at Soldier Field!

- Baltimore beats Cincinnati by 4. Quoth the Ravens, "Nevermore!"

- Colts unleash the Magic of Friendship (and a healthy Andrew Luck) to defeat the Rams in LA!

- SuperCam Returnstm to further tarnish the 49ers record in Santa Clara!

- PACKERRRRRS! :D

- Cowboys pull a Lee Harvey Oswald on the New York Football Giants in Dallas on Sunday Night!

Those are my picks for today. Use them if you want, but don't blame me if you get them wrong. ^_-

Stay safe, stay dry, and remember that THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS HAVE THE WORST RECORD IN THE NFL! XD
 
2017-09-10 09:23:42 AM  

LucklessWonder: [img.fark.net image 425x289]


CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

img.fark.net
 
2017-09-10 09:28:01 AM  

null: LucklessWonder: [img.fark.net image 425x289]

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

[img.fark.net image 800x400]


Brilliant! I actually laughed out loud enough to scare the cat out of the bedroom.
 
2017-09-10 09:28:13 AM  
payload204.cargocollective.com
 
2017-09-10 09:30:08 AM  
cdn.fansided.com
 
2017-09-10 09:30:23 AM  

Captain Steroid: Buffalo tramples the Jets, putting them in 1st Place in the AFC East! Let that sink in for a moment.


It'll be the last time either of them sniff it alone for the rest of the season at least.

Captain Steroid: Stay safe, stay dry, and remember that THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS HAVE THE WORST RECORD IN THE NFL! XD


Why you gotta be like that? You know most of the full-time fans here aren't like the ones you're aiming that at....
 
2017-09-10 09:31:55 AM  

null: [cdn.fansided.com image 300x300]


I'd much rather that was purely Browns colors instead of all three teams...just saying.
 
2017-09-10 09:33:21 AM  
So what are the odds that the entire northern half of Georgia goes into a panic attack if they go up 28-3?

\given the Bears, this is actually a possibility....
 
2017-09-10 09:49:36 AM  

FriarReb98: null: [cdn.fansided.com image 300x300]

I'd much rather that was purely Browns colors instead of all three teams...just saying.


Not my work though.
 
2017-09-10 09:51:58 AM  

null: FriarReb98: null: [cdn.fansided.com image 300x300]

I'd much rather that was purely Browns colors instead of all three teams...just saying.

Not my work though.


I know, just think the FoS nickname belongs with the Browns more than the other two. At least they win things sometimes.
 
2017-09-10 10:06:36 AM  
ESPN's new Sunday Countdown setup is insane, and not in a good way. They have Rex Ryan's massive head looming in the background like the goddamn Wizard of Oz.

Send it back! Send it all back!
 
2017-09-10 10:22:28 AM  

domino324: ESPN's new Sunday Countdown setup is insane, and not in a good way. They have Rex Ryan's massive head looming in the background like the goddamn Wizard of Oz.

Send it back! Send it all back!


It can't possibly be as bad as their power rankings on the dot com.
 
2017-09-10 10:47:12 AM  

Captain Steroid: - Colts unleash the Magic of Friendship (and a healthy Andrew Luck) to defeat the Rams in LA!


Noope.
 
2017-09-10 10:56:22 AM  
pbs.twimg.com

/not mine
 
2017-09-10 10:58:46 AM  
Jets and Bills, what's that, the Toilet Bowl?
 
2017-09-10 11:03:37 AM  

Jake Havechek: Jets and Bills, what's that, the Toilet Bowl?


The Battle for New Yorkjersey.
 
2017-09-10 11:04:48 AM  

Jake Havechek: Jets and Bills, what's that, the Toilet Bowl?


No, it's the Game of Shame. Didn't you read the preseason rankings thread?
 
2017-09-10 11:07:33 AM  

Jake Havechek: Jets and Bills, what's that, the Toilet Bowl?


I'm just glad I don't have to watch it... no Redzone for the first time in years and was scared I was going to be forced to watch The Jets at 1.  (Well that or no football)
 
2017-09-10 11:07:58 AM  
And Falcons-Bears, by the power rankings at least, is the mismatch of the week.
 
2017-09-10 12:04:35 PM  
I'm just going to be sad again.

But the wife will probably be happy.
 
2017-09-10 12:05:29 PM  

LucklessWonder: [img.fark.net image 425x289]


Batman and Robin even fail by comparison.
 
2017-09-10 12:06:58 PM  
I got Raiders at Tennessee,
www.gridirongals.com
Tony Romos first broadcast

goldengatesports.com
 
2017-09-10 12:08:39 PM  
No, I don't want to join your fantasy league.
 
2017-09-10 12:09:06 PM  

Jake Havechek: Jets and Bills, what's that, the Toilet Bowl?


one of them will have a game lead over the patriots later today
 
2017-09-10 12:09:35 PM  

RminusQ: [clears throat]

fooooooooooooooot-baaaaaaaaaaaaaaw

That is all.


Colonel Reb is Cryin
Youtube 6n1KPQmdddY
 
2017-09-10 12:10:12 PM  
Might there be hand egg ball today?
 
2017-09-10 12:10:31 PM  
i779.photobucket.com
 
2017-09-10 12:13:01 PM  
Even though my Bears will probably be lucky to get to five or four or three wins, I've been looking forward to this season and these threads all year. I wandered back into the Politics Tab since .....well, let's not mention why. So these NFL adventures will be a welcome change.
 
2017-09-10 12:14:07 PM  

Bunny Deville: Might there be hand egg ball today?


Dont get all soccer on us Bunny. You are better than that


You know why 15 million kids in America play soccer?

So they dont have to watch it.
 
2017-09-10 12:14:34 PM  

Bunny Deville: Might there be hand egg ball today?


Mayhaps, my good lady.


i779.photobucket.com
 
2017-09-10 12:15:33 PM  
So here is how I have cleverly arranged my schedule: I have rehearsals during Sunday day games, so that I don't have to pay attention while the Jags lose. I'll be home most weekends by the Sunday night game so I can watch with you giuse. Mondays I have rehearsal. Thursday games, that I can't even watch because we dropped cable, I'll be here for.

I thought I had Mondays until one of my leads had a schedule change on me. Sigh.

/directing A Christmas Story this year
//until November
///then stage managing Clybourne Park, no football for me :::cries:::
 
2017-09-10 12:15:47 PM  

mikaloyd: I got Raiders at Tennessee,
[www.gridirongals.com image 850x536]
Tony Romos first broadcast

[goldengatesports.com image 630x420]


Whats the over / under on him getting hurt before the 4th quarter ?
 
2017-09-10 12:16:45 PM  
I just wanted to say this is the best football thread on the web. Unfortunately, Irma is visiting and she is a biatch. I follow as much as possible since there is no football on tv. Power will probably go out soon.

/ Phins up
 
2017-09-10 12:17:05 PM  
I've missed you guys SO much, I can't even

Here's my mostly wrong, fark-all-if-I-know-anything, coin-flip likely picks for the rest of week 1

img.fark.netHow do we all feel about the return of FOOBAW?!?!?!
bryanwenzel.com
 
2017-09-10 12:17:25 PM  

mikaloyd: Jake Havechek: Jets and Bills, what's that, the Toilet Bowl?

one of them will have a game lead over the patriots later today


And with the Dolphins getting an early bye week, that means the winner of Jets/Bills will lead the AFC East.
 
2017-09-10 12:18:31 PM  

xaks: I've missed you guys SO much, I can't even

Here's my mostly wrong, fark-all-if-I-know-anything, coin-flip likely picks for the rest of week 1

[img.fark.net image 850x1332]How do we all feel about the return of FOOBAW?!?!?!
[bryanwenzel.com image 350x200]


I see the Jags have the Texans. It's probably for the best that I can't watch.
 
2017-09-10 12:19:11 PM  

mikaloyd: Bunny Deville: Might there be hand egg ball today?

Dont get all soccer on us Bunny. You are better than that


You know why 15 million kids in America play soccer?

So they dont have to watch it.


Hey now, at the top level, synchronized grass diving is performance art rivaled only by pro wrasslin.
 
2017-09-10 12:19:20 PM  
Your_Huckleberry:. I wandered back into the Politics Tab since .....well, let's not mention why.

Lets hope none of that stuck. Ive seen many a good sports tab person weakened and ruined by that tab. To the point where they cannot stop themselve for even one thread from getting all gleefully political and devisive over apolitical sporting events. Suddenly they are a politics hammer and everything is a political nail, Its farking weird and not good
 
2017-09-10 12:19:49 PM  

Bunny Deville: xaks: I've missed you guys SO much, I can't even

Here's my mostly wrong, fark-all-if-I-know-anything, coin-flip likely picks for the rest of week 1

[img.fark.net image 850x1332]How do we all feel about the return of FOOBAW?!?!?!
[bryanwenzel.com image 350x200]

I see the Jags have the Texans. It's probably for the best that I can't watch.


I keep this handy on my web server, JUST for you, my dear

bryanwenzel.com
 
2017-09-10 12:20:04 PM  

Muzzleloader: mikaloyd: I got Raiders at Tennessee,
[www.gridirongals.com image 850x536]
Tony Romos first broadcast

[goldengatesports.com image 630x420]

Whats the over / under on him getting hurt before the 4th quarter ?


depends on how good his lines are
 
2017-09-10 12:20:46 PM  

Bunny Deville: So here is how I have cleverly arranged my schedule: I have rehearsals during Sunday day games, so that I don't have to pay attention while the Jags lose. I'll be home most weekends by the Sunday night game so I can watch with you giuse. Mondays I have rehearsal. Thursday games, that I can't even watch because we dropped cable, I'll be here for.

I thought I had Mondays until one of my leads had a schedule change on me. Sigh.

/directing A Christmas Story this year
//until November
///then stage managing Clybourne Park, no football for me :::cries:::


Don't shoot your eye out.
 
2017-09-10 12:20:54 PM  

xaks: Bunny Deville: xaks: I've missed you guys SO much, I can't even

Here's my mostly wrong, fark-all-if-I-know-anything, coin-flip likely picks for the rest of week 1

[img.fark.net image 850x1332]How do we all feel about the return of FOOBAW?!?!?!
[bryanwenzel.com image 350x200]

I see the Jags have the Texans. It's probably for the best that I can't watch.

I keep this handy on my web server, JUST for you, my dear

[bryanwenzel.com image 570x960]


That's why I love you, sweetie <3
 
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