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(Some Guy)   Richard Simmons trying to shame U.S. into funding weight loss   ( divider line
    More: Asinine  
•       •       •

2569 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2002 at 10:32 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

98 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-01-11 10:35:22 AM  
Does anyone care what this stupid looking freak has to say?
2002-01-11 10:36:02 AM  
Not really.
2002-01-11 10:37:00 AM  
But Americans clearly have no shame...
2002-01-11 10:39:02 AM  
here's a weight loss idea:

Put the f'n cake down you fat bastards
2002-01-11 10:41:21 AM  
*blinks* someone beat me to posting all the ncbuy news of the weird articles
AND the good ones got posted!
2002-01-11 10:42:22 AM  
Goatman, Richard Simmons is about as good a representative for America as "The Crocodile Hunter" star Steve Irwin is for England.
2002-01-11 10:45:34 AM  
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2002-01-11 10:46:55 AM  
God help me, my job is translating Richard Simmons' Slim Cooking into Japanese.
2002-01-11 10:47:53 AM  
Adambomb: Stever Irwin's Australian, and I wasn't talking about Richard Simmons.
2002-01-11 10:51:59 AM  
the really amazing thing is that he's a billionaire.
2002-01-11 10:52:03 AM  
Where's the nut shot of ol' Dick Simmons? Anyone?

[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]
2002-01-11 10:53:30 AM  
Goatman:Stever Irwin's Australian...

2002-01-11 11:03:34 AM  
Goatman is an anti-america troll. Ignore him.
2002-01-11 11:08:23 AM it's the gov'ts responsibility to get your fat ass trimmed down...
2002-01-11 11:08:37 AM  
Sorry, I just don't see where the gov't should shell out bucks for another useless project.
2002-01-11 11:14:37 AM  
Actually I was explaining today to someone who wrote me an interesting note of support how I am not anti-American. I think much of the culture and attitudes leave much to be desired, but I don't hold it against each individual I meet unless they prove worthy.

I do, however, find the blind patrotic flag waving attitudes held by some fascinating.
2002-01-11 11:14:56 AM  
someone needs to do something, seeing as how America has the highest population of obese people on the planet.

At least hes trying.
2002-01-11 11:23:08 AM  
Why was this marked asinine? I realize Richard Simmons is some kind of farked up alien, but he's got a point.

Anyone remember the old cliche "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?

It has a special meaning in this article.
2002-01-11 11:27:51 AM  
Why is this asinine? I wish there were less of you farking porkers...

You sweat too damn much.
2002-01-11 11:30:21 AM  
adambomb: the crocodile hunter wouldn't be much of a representative for england as he's from australia.
2002-01-11 11:31:25 AM  
Why the hell should I pay because some weak willed fat ass can't stay away from McDonald's?
2002-01-11 11:32:46 AM  
girlygirl: advice from somebody that uses the alias 'girlygirl' on the internet should never be taken lightly.

if anybody cares that they're fat because the 'united states' ranks #1 with most fat people in the world, they should seek some sort of spiritaly help. richard simmons helps fat asses because (it seems) he cares for their health. bringing up the 'united states'' fat rank in this sort of article is not only 'farking' moronic, it's also completely 'asinine'.
2002-01-11 11:32:59 AM  
I'm a filthy ignorant American, and I like cake and ice cream and fried chicken and lots of food. But I'm not fat. Or ignorant. *sniff sniff* Maybe a little filthy though.
2002-01-11 11:37:30 AM  
Actually, I think that this is smart. Obesity is the biggest health problem in the US, ask just about anyone. Why not be (to use a Dilbert term) proactive about it and nip the problem in the bud? While I agree that the obese person is probably responsible for their obesity (and all that Libertarian jazz) that's never stopped the government from protecting people from themselves before! Look at the tobacco settlements, "attractive nuisance" laws etc, etc. I say, if the US govt. is already spending billions on helping overweight people lose weight, why not spend money funding programs that stop them from getting fat in the first place? Hell, I'd like to have my gym membership federally subsidized.

Makes sense to me.
2002-01-11 11:38:03 AM  
I am begging someone to post the "nut shot" and the extreme close up too! I need some hillarity today!
2002-01-11 11:40:39 AM  
Yo! Richard Simmons your 15 min were up ages ago!
2002-01-11 11:41:49 AM  
Brandanbragg I'm not exactly sure if i understand what your trying to say, but just to clarify, the only reason i brought up the US is because thats where Richard Simms does this kinda stuff, all i was saying is that at least he is trying to make a difference here where it is needed most because the US has the highest Obese population its not moronic or asinine its the truth.
2002-01-11 11:42:06 AM  
Ack,GirlyGirl, you replaced your pics with the boobies in it! Your face is even cuter close up, but I miss the boobies.
2002-01-11 11:45:21 AM  
i was trying to figure out how to put them both in as to keep the masses happy :)
2002-01-11 11:45:32 AM  
CaseyPie, and other who think this is a good thing:

The problem, IMHO, is not that he's trying to get people to lose weight. My problem is that he is lobbying the government into trying to help people lose weight. This will only lead to a lot of the same problems we have now. The government trying to run our lives for us, raise our kids for us, etc etc. The last thing I need is for the government to tell me that I'm too fat or too skinny and that I need to eat more/less and hand me my government endorsed diet, and tell me that I can only eat those foods listed. I doubt it will get to that extreme, but I think I made the point. Too many people are relying on the government, schools, other people, more or less everyone but themselves for not doing stuff that they should (eating better, excercising, raising their kids, etc).

If Dick here wants to lobby the government for something useful, how about lobbying the government for some kind of financial relief for the younger people of society who are trying to start out in life but can't due to the asinine prices of realty and rent. Or how about channeling the money that would go to the 'Get people slim' action over into education, or something that will affect EVERYONE, not just the people who are too lazy to get off their ass and put down the double whopper with cheese.
2002-01-11 11:47:04 AM  
Anybody that is ignorant enough to eat crap all day long deserves to get big and fat and die.

That little freak does have a point though.
Maybe schools should stop serving Hamburgers and Milk for lunch everyday, and remove the soda machines from the hallways.
The school system teaches you that you have to drink Milk and eat meat to be healthy, meanwhile the only countries that don't have osteoporosis are the countries that don't drink milk. Kids that don't drink Milk never get ear infections. The American diet is deadly.
2002-01-11 11:49:43 AM  
JMT - Exactly. I pay enough in taxes as it is (~28% of my paycheck). I've got no problem with my weight. I've got the ol' 'Desk Job Gut', but that is it. There is no reason that I should have to pay for these overweight people to lose weight when the problem doesn't affect me at all.
2002-01-11 11:50:29 AM  
Simmons' beef is that the U.S. government spends $11.3 billion to help obese folks lose weight but hardly anything to prevent people from packing on the pounds.

sounds to me like Simmons has a god point. the gov is already spending absurd amounts on trying to help ppl lose weight, and apparently its not working, maybe they should try a more preventative approach.
2002-01-11 11:51:50 AM  
$11.3 billion to help obese folks lose weight???

WTF is this? Even if $200 went toward this cause from federal grants, why should my hard earned tax dollars go towards 'assisting' some weak-willed overeater to drop a few pounds. It's a DIY endeavor. All it takes is a mirror, some pride, regular exercise and godd_amned discipline. How can Congress provide this? It's simple, they can't. Want to trim down, then put down the Funny Bones and give me some wind sprints.
2002-01-11 11:54:28 AM  
Hell, the government shouldn't be spending shiat on this. Now, if this went to AIDS or Cancer research or something similar, that's one thing. But this is going to people who are fat lazy slobs with no will power or drive. Stop the funding and give me my farking money back.
2002-01-11 11:58:49 AM  
GirlyGirl, if want to keep the masses happy, uhm, you could, uhm, well you know...
2002-01-11 11:59:44 AM  
bring back McSalad
2002-01-11 12:01:05 PM  
the U.S. should fund shaming obese people into not eating 5000 donuts.
2002-01-11 12:01:36 PM  
Maybe we should focus our energy on shaming this clown back into the closet... No offense to those of that persuasion.
2002-01-11 12:01:52 PM  
Simple way for fatsos to lose 50 pounds: cut your fuggin head off.
2002-01-11 12:04:10 PM  
Hey, Ive been having touble getting laid, lately. I wish someone would lobby the government to waste a ton of money on the administration of a program to get me laid, that wont work anyway.

Do you realize millions of people are not getting laid everyday? Had enough?
2002-01-11 12:04:58 PM  
Wow, despite Dick being a fruitcake and all, this seems like a very good idea. What he needs for this film though is an interview with a greasy-fat congressman (preferrably with a bigass cowboy hat) with his arms elbow-deep in a bucket of KFC.

2002-01-11 12:07:23 PM  
Has anyone else noticed that fat people are the last group that it's ok (according to the psyco PC attitude of the public in general) to make fun of?
2002-01-11 12:07:50 PM  

There is such a program - AFDC (Aid to Families with Dependent Children.) Have more kids and you get more money, as a parent. I'm sure you can find a recipient for your 'donation' to the cause.

Hump away.
2002-01-11 12:08:17 PM  
Girlygirl, thanks for stating more clearly what I couldn't.

My point (and I think RSimmons') is that if the govt is spending the money anyway, why not spend it where it would do the most good?

Also, obesity is a societal problem. Like it or not, we live in a society. This means that if the government does help these people, we're all going to end up paying other ways anyway (increased insurance premiums, lack of pharmaceutical research into other areas, shortened life expectancy etc). This is also a much bigger problem than cancer or AIDS because it affects many, many more people (something like 60% of the populace). For these reasons, I don't buy the "they brought it on themselves so screw 'em" argument. If the government didn't get involved, they'd be ignoring the largest public health crisis in the country.

The funny thing is that I'm staunchly Republican.
2002-01-11 12:08:20 PM  
perhaps you should lobby the gov't into funding this service (safe for work).
2002-01-11 12:10:18 PM  
Richard Simmon's must have serious ego problems if he thinks he is the sole being that should determine that America needs all skinny people, and no overweight people. It's thinking like this that got the Nazi regime started.

Who the hell is he to determine what America needs to be like?

People can't afford gyms? Fine, then don't work out. Why should the government fund people going to the gym, when they won't fund buying me a new car every other year?

Richard Simmons is a jackass. Nuff said.
2002-01-11 12:10:54 PM  
Adambomb - There are lots of groups of folks who are still fair game. Men, blondes, Canadians, the French, etc. Persons of sizeable carriage, thanks Homer, are in good company.
2002-01-11 12:11:44 PM  
Money is always nice. But I think more than that, people need time.

I have a free gym at work. No time to use it.

Course I am not fat. Just flabby.
2002-01-11 12:14:10 PM  
Rtreynor, wow, a professional stalking service!
2002-01-11 12:14:24 PM  
girlygirl: of course you don't understand what i was trying to say. go take another close-up of your face.
2002-01-11 12:15:50 PM  
what with role models like Jack Black proving you can be fat - and still rock, shame on you all. RELEASE THE ROBOTIC RICHARD SIMONS! (that joke's been made like 8 times, right?)
2002-01-11 12:19:45 PM  
Chanle51: Oh yea..your right.
2002-01-11 12:19:53 PM  
I hope Jack Black's 15 minutes are nearly over.
2002-01-11 12:20:41 PM  
Okay, I admit it.. I'm one fat son of a biatch. It's my own fault, toooo many donuts, toooo much time spent sittin' on my ass. But I'll be goddamned if I'm gonna ask people to spend their tax dollars to fund some government program to help me lose weight. No way do I have that kinda balls.
2002-01-11 12:22:31 PM  
Does not anyone see what he is doing. He's not trying to slim down porkers. Without porkers, he is nobody. Without a cause, he is nothing (Jesse Jackson syndrome.)

This inane approach of getting federal monies to assist in the slimming down of America will never happen in the Congress we Americans know and love, and he knows it.

Overeaters have made him a very rich man. This is simply press for Richard Simmons which keeps him in the public eye.
2002-01-11 12:22:33 PM  
"I'm not fat, i'm big-boned..."
[image from too old to be available]
2002-01-11 12:23:13 PM  
"people can't afford gyms"

Skip a few lines...

"people resort to dangerous pills and surgery when it's too late"

Okay... I know that surgery is farking expensive, and that a bottle of pills would cost me about as much as my gym membership in a month.

Will Richard Simmons please disappear in a puff of logic now?
2002-01-11 12:23:13 PM  
There already IS a national program to help you lose weight. It also pays you and you can learn a trade. Choose from Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines.
2002-01-11 12:25:33 PM  
john_h_rand, apparently you've never heard of medicare?

does anybody have any good flash movie links? i'm bored with 30 minutes to lunch.
2002-01-11 12:26:27 PM  
Chanle51: Overeaters have made him a very rich man. This is simply press for Richard Simmons which keeps him in the public eye.

I'm sure he'll manage a fat guvvamint check for himself in the process.

2002-01-11 12:26:35 PM  
Someone once determined the government should step in and make people stop taking mind altering drugs, because it's 'unhealthy.'

They put millions of tax dollars into these programs every year.

Look at how successful that's been.
2002-01-11 12:27:21 PM  
Mr. Rand -

It is inane. A is apparently not A. He can have his cake and eat it too. Isometrics cost nothing and require no equipment and walking/running shoes can be had on the cheap.

On another note, what is this logic thing you speak of?
2002-01-11 12:28:11 PM  
2002-01-11 12:29:20 PM  
Qatmandu: Can you imagine how many more "Sweatin to the Oldies" box sets he'll sell b/c of the free press from this?
2002-01-11 12:35:25 PM  
Overweight people have no one but themselves to blame. you don't need a gym membership to keep in shape: walking is still free, as is doing situps and pushups in your home. we all know what food is good for us and what is bad. "moderation" is not a term Americans are familiar with.

Also, making fun of fat people is still accepted because they're one group who can do something about the thing that makes them targets of fun.
2002-01-11 12:36:33 PM  
Of course, the program would include the government purchasing one video from Simmons for each person on the government sponsored program.
2002-01-11 12:37:00 PM  
slappy kincaid: you're generalizing, and stereotyping.
2002-01-11 12:38:34 PM  
Anyone else here ever gotten one of his dumbass e-mails with the caption, "I LOVE YOU AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!!!"

Loved the spoof of him that Eddie Murphy did in "The Nutty Professor."
2002-01-11 12:39:49 PM  
How so Brandanbragg? 99% of overweight people are overweight because they're lazy and don't care. The other 1% are that way because of a medical problem. Exercise is free, so that excuse is out. What's their excuse for sitting down and eating fast food everyday?
2002-01-11 12:41:06 PM  
does this thread make my Butt look Big?
2002-01-11 12:51:42 PM  
Slappy Kincaid - You make a valid point.

It is indeed unfortunate for the very small % who have a valid medical issue are seen the same as those who simply choose to not temper their lifestyle.
2002-01-11 12:53:24 PM  
The fat-laden diet that leads to the kind of obesity American suffer from is EXPENSIVE! So by all means, lets throw more money on the problem to slim them back down again. I quit smoking all by my self. Tobacco settlements didn't help me. And target market works wonders for the tobacco industry. Any exposure is good exposure.
America: giving up our freedoms one by one.
2002-01-11 12:53:31 PM  
Brandanbragg - he/we may be stereotyping and generalizing, but can you say that his points are invalid?
2002-01-11 12:56:06 PM  
Fat, lazy Americans. Who'd think it?
2002-01-11 12:57:22 PM  
This was a stupid headline. He's not lobbying for weight loss, but for obesity prevention. Maybe some of you should start reading the articles.
2002-01-11 01:00:34 PM  
Goatman - A good chunk of Americans are indeed quite porcine...many Brits would be too if the lot of you practiced dental hygiene and still had your teeth to chew with.

2002-01-11 01:05:22 PM  
Chanle51: Touché. I'm off for several pints of lager and 80 cigs.

I'm 6' tall and 11 stone/154 pounds. I like burgers, chips/fries, and anything fried to eat while I laugh at fatties. It's great!
2002-01-11 01:08:26 PM  
One of the funniest things I have ever seen was when Howard Stern had his channel 9 show, before he went on E!. Richard Simmons was his guest. Howard brought a bunch of fat people on and dangled food on a string in front of them. Richard starts screaming and crying like a little girl because Howard is so insensitive and mean. Classic stuff.
2002-01-11 01:14:23 PM  
Can't we just label him a terrorist and let Geraldo Rivera chase after him with his sidearm?
2002-01-11 01:33:20 PM  
I just wanted to make a comment that no one else seems to have made yet; despite what Richard Simmons says, his goal is not to help fat people, it is to make money.
2002-01-11 01:57:09 PM  
GirlyGirl, "someone needs to do something, seeing as how America has the highest population of obese people on the planet."

Maybe our military should be bombing McDonalds, Taco Bell, and any place selling stadium style nachos.
2002-01-11 02:46:32 PM  
Money for his latest diamond-studded doghouse.
2002-01-11 02:53:08 PM  
I think we should allow Letterman and Stern to torture the little simp until he has a breakdown and develops a severe addiction to fried Twinkies...
2002-01-11 03:08:24 PM  
What's wrong with being fat? Ever seen a 300 pound old person? No? It's a self-limiting problem. People who die earlier in life--smokers, the obese, and others--cost our semi-socialist society LESS. I'm sure we are all aware of the dangerous of obesity; therefore, anyone that chooses to be obese is aware of the ramifications to his or her health. If you argue that a typical American's health must be regulated because of increased expense to our partially-socialized medical system, then you may as well argue that every facet of our lives should be controlled by government to minimize societal costs. That means we should all be forced to get eight hours of sleep, two hours of exercise, etc., in between working 45 hours a week and checking to see if we left our children in the back of our car. I don't want to live in that kind of society; you can visit it by going to Afghanistan. and cute.
2002-01-11 03:11:55 PM  
Excuse me, but I'm not shelling out tax dollars to pay for someone to go to the farking gym and consult a dietician. I lost over 200lbs. by myself, and if I can do it, so can those other lard asses.
2002-01-11 03:24:07 PM  
Doofus, is your real name Tony Little?

Just curious.
2002-01-11 04:47:10 PM  
Who the hell is richard simmons to talk about getting in shape. Has anyone ever seen this genetic anomaly, otherwise known as richard simmons?

I feel I can help with this issue, however and just so happen to have a few ideas of my own. First, all overweight citizens (by federal mandate) will have to report government-funded weight redux facilities (which will be conveniently located adjacent to your neighborhood mcdonalds).
Once there the subject will undergo many tests aimed at weight loss, and weening the subject off further consumption of fattening foods. These tests will include (but will not be limited to) The Motivational Run, The Cafeteria Trial, and The Fast Food Acid Test.
The Motivational Run is a five mile run. The subject will not be allowed to stop during the run. If the subject does not follow this the subject will be administered a "light shock" from the cattle prods of jogging partners/security officials. I will oversee all runs from the seat of my golf cart while I yell fat jokes through my megaphone.
After the run (assuming the subject survived) is the cafeteria trial. The cafeteria of the facility is divided into two parts, one side services health food, the other side serves fast, and fattening foods. Upon entering the cafeteria the subject will be equipped with a boder collar (much like a dogs). If the subject attempts to cross to the fast food side of the cafteria they will recieve a shock. For who manage to make it to fattening food counter and obtain food, said food will be laced with a powerful laxative.
Finally the fast food acid test. Upon finishing their meal in the cafeteria the subject will then be accompanied to a dimly lit padded room. Here the subject will be offered a cheeseburger (unbeknownst to the subject the food is laced with lsd). Once the subject is clearly under effects of the drug, three men will enter the room. One man will be dressed a giant cheeseburger, another as a giant slice of pizza, the last as a box of french fries. The door will then be locked and the three men will beat the subject within an inch of his/her life.
Feel free to offer up any constructive criticism you may have.
2002-01-11 05:52:37 PM  
Now,sir- can you Identify the men who assaulted you in a

Lineup consists of: Mayor Mc Cheese, the weinerschnitzel running hot dog, spongebob squarepants,the michelin man, Carrottop,Bert from sesame street,and Ronald McDonald.

must ski.
2002-01-11 06:10:36 PM  
Scarneck, sorry, no. I'm female.
2002-01-11 10:26:07 PM  
Yo Richard! Leo Sayer called...he wants his gay-acting-shrimpy-white-guy-with-afro-what-the-hells-up-with-the-rainbows-eve rywhere back!!!
2002-01-11 10:41:11 PM  
I wonder if this is one of the ways to get money from the government found on Matthew Lesko's book.
2002-01-11 10:45:29 PM  
Has anyone else noticed that fat people are the last group that it's ok (according to the psyco PC attitude of the public in general) to make fun of?

No... not true at all, sir. There are always southerners.
And fat southerners are plutonium to the comedy atom bomb.

This is a little known fact: One joke about a fat, redneck, racist white-trash southerner is directly equivalent to an entire Jay Leno Tonight show monologue.

...and about as funny.
2002-01-11 11:36:42 PM  
Shake, shake shake.. shake shake, shake. Shake your booty, shake your booty.. Watch out, his ass is gonna blow!
2002-01-12 01:20:41 AM  
Well isn't that terrific....

This man, this man, perm, spandex and all, he's got heart.
(wipes tear) This man is a warrior in the battle of hugs and other stuff that also makes you feel good too. (sniffs)

Then again, maybe he's straight and just in it for the groupie plumpers......mmmmmmmm plumpers.
2002-01-12 01:31:15 AM  
Only in America can affluence and unbridled consumption turn into a disability eligible for tax-funded assistance.

Sorry for pulling a Nancy Reagan, but holy fark, just say no! It's gone to the point where we can't say no with our own consumption, we can't even say no to the dog. Light dog food. Even Fido can binge.

Here's my advice: watch Montel from the treadmill.
2002-01-12 01:52:36 AM  
This man, this man, perm, spandex and all, he's got heart.
(wipes tear) This man is a warrior in the battle of hugs and other stuff that also makes you feel good too. (sniffs)

This man is pure Evil! He and his army of darkness are as we speak plotting to take over Canada! And if you're not concerned about that, keep in mind that America shares the LARGEST, UNDEFENDED BORDER IN THE FREE WORLD with Canada.
2002-01-12 03:58:27 PM  
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